A/N: Last part to this story. There will be a continuation though of the series so be on the look out for that. Sorry it's a bit of an abrupt end but yeah, to be honest, so much angst in my life that just wanted to finish this up and post the follow up story which I enjoy working on more.

It would have been kind for Steve to give Clint the afternoon off. His birthday party was today so it was sort of like his birthday. But Steve, while probably the most decent guy in America, breathed soccer and expected his team to do the same. Birthday celebrations be damned. Technically, Steve and Bucky were going to be at the party as well so all three of them would have roughly the same amount of time to get ready but still, it was the thought that was supposed to count. Steve's thoughts were all soccer, obviously.

The morning had been a bad start to the day and Clint felt he was entitled to some sympathy. Though him alone in his room with an erection really wasn't anything new. Luckily, Mrs. Romanoff mistook Clint's grumpiness for still feeling ill but he assured her there was no need to cancel the night's festivities. The Romanoffs were going to spend the evening over at the Lewis' house so that the kids could have the house to themselves for a few hours. If they were lucky, they'd be able to steal a couple of beers.

Finally, practice ended and he was being dropped off curtsey of Bucky, given that Natasha had used the car to drive her and Darcy home. When he walked inside, he found Natasha sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"My mom wants to see you," Natasha said, not taking her eyes from the screen.

"What does she want?" asked Clint, frowning, He didn't remember getting in trouble recently or doing something to get him into some sort of trouble.

"I don't know but she sounded tired. You still failing English?"

"No."

"Well she's in the kitchen."

"Okay, thanks."

When he walked into the kitchen and saw a solemn faced Mrs. Romanoff, Clint had a bad feeling in his gut. He placed his bag on a kitchen chair and swallowed nervously.

"Hey Mrs. Romanoff, did something happen?"

"Clint, I think we need to talk. Can you please sit down?" she asked and Clint knew something was up.

"Okay," he sat and suddenly noticed the laundry basket full of clean clothes and sheets. Not giving anymore thought to that, he waited for her to just yell at him. The Romanoffs had pretty explosive tempers but at least he normally knew what to expect. This time though, Mrs. Romanoff seemed unsure and kept hesitating before she finally got started.

"You're an adult now. I know but...you're still young," Mrs. Romanoff began, wringing her hands a little. "And I know you and Darcy have been dating since the summer and Mrs. Lewis and I have been so glad that you two get along."

Crap. She must have seen Darcy climb down or something. Clint tensed up but was thrown off again when instead of continuing, Mrs. Romanoff walked to the laundry basket.

"These fell out of your sheets when I was doing laundry," she sighed, pulling out a pair of blue panties that Clint recognised from the night before.

"Oh. Uh, really? What's weird," he said slowly, minding running a million miles an hour but not arriving at any good answer.

"I want you to tell me the truth. Why were these in your sheets?"

"Uh...I stole them?" Clint blurted. The first thing that came to his mind and of course it made him sound like a total creeper.

Tony looked around the party. Darcy was missing, Jane had disappeared, Clint was staring straight ahead with a soured expression and Natasha was glaring at Clint. The rest of the group was roughly split into couples except the wrestling jocks were crowded at one side, joking with each other. Thor wasn't wholly partaking in the jokes and looked a little troubled at the disappearance of his girlfriend. Pepper was checking her tweets and successfully ignoring Tony after a miscalculated comment about threesomes. Bucky was eating cake and Tony was pretty sure Peggy and Steve were starting to play cat's cradle. The only saving grace was that the Romanoffs were spending the evening next door with the Lewises.

"Stark update: this party blows," Tony said loudly, gaining most people's attention. "I knew we shoulda thrown it at my place."

"I think it's nice. Low key," Betty shrugged and Bruce, the whipped bitch that he was, nodded in agreement. Tony was disappointed in his science bro.

"Food's good," Bucky stated through a full mouth.

"Where's Darcy? And Jane?" Tony pointed out.

"My dearest Jane has rushed to Darcy's side. She ails but Jane says not of what," Thor supplied. Great. He was still doing that weird Shakespeare thing.

"She's not sick, she's grounded," Natasha explained.

"Grounded? Why?" asked Pepper, interest peaked.

"Ask Clint," Natasha glare didn't waver.

"Clint?" asked Tony, hoping to get at least an interesting story. Nothing else was happening. Seriously, if they had this party at his like he suggested, he could have at least scored some booze.

"It's nothing," mumbled Clint, crossing his arms and sliding down deeper into the couch.

"Doesn't look like nothing," observed Bucky, holding up his hands in surrender when it won him glares from both Natasha and Clint. Peggy suddenly spoke up but aimed her sentence at Natasha rather than Clint.

"I for one would like to know what's going on."

"Me too," Sif added.

"Hey if it's personal stuff then-" Steve began but was cut off by Pepper.

"Nothing's personal anymore. Someone better spill or else."

"I'm shaking in my socks," taunted Bucky and Tony was about to punch him in Pepper's honour but Natasha threw a beaded pillow at his head. That was good enough for Tony.

"Well Darcy's grounded because her father...and Clint disagreed on something," Natasha tried to vaguely imply but Tony had a pretty good idea what the 'disagreement' must have been about.

"Shit, parents found out you two were bumping uglies, huh?"

"Clint told you guys that he was having sex with Darcy?" Sif said but covered her mouth, ashamed at her slip when the other girls stared in disappointment. "Oops."

"Clint told us, Darcy told you-"

"Actually, Jane told us," clarified Betty.

"Whatever. Everyone knows what's happening in Clint's pants. Or, now I guess what's not happening," shrugged Tony.

"No one told me," Thor frowned, forgetting to speak in iambic pentameter.

"Didn't tell me either," Fandral joined but he looked more put off by his slim chances with Darcy getting slimmer than the whole grounded situation in general. Tony couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"So old man Lewis is angry that you deflowered his daughter," Bucky smirked.

"Just wait till Mr. Romanoff hears what you and Nat get up to," Clint shot back. With a huff, Natasha punched Clint in the arm and Clint protested loudly. Bucky just looked on with terror at the prospect of being confronted by Mr. Romanoff.

"I can't believe I had to have the sex talk with my mom," Natasha complained, throwing another punch Clint's way. "She went on and on about how I need to be careful with who I want to have sex with because guys are pigs then ended it with sex advice. Advice. Weird advice too. It was painful."

"Oh, what did she suggest?" Bucky bounced over to Natasha, who refused to elaborate.

"You thought that sucked? I had to tell Mr. Lewis I was having sex with his daughter. To his face too. You know what he did? He told me to get the fuck out his house and then grounded Darcy for 6 months. Then he said I wasn't allowed to see her. Ever," whined Clint. "And I think he said something about sending her to an all girl's school. Couldn't tell though 'cause he shut the door on my face before I heard the end."

"Why did you have to tell her dad?" Bruce asked.

"Mrs. Romanoff said I had to do it because I was an adult now. Which is bullshit. Adults don't go around asking parents' permission to have sex with their kids."

"Depends where you are," Fandral joked crassly, making Bucky and Tony smile.

"Gross," Pepper stated simply and Fandral smirked but was smacked on the back of the head by Sif.

"It's just stupid. Now I can't see Darcy and she's in trouble for no reason," Clint continued to complain.

"How did Mrs. Romanoff know that you two were uh, doing it?" Steve asked curiously.

"My mom found Darcy's thong in Clint's bed sheets," sniffed Natasha, crossing her arms.

"Nice," Tony said, actually a little impressed. "A little stolen souvenir, huh?"

"Hey, can't old man Lewis press charges? You're 18 so it's illegal right?" Fandral supplied.

"Not helping," Volstagg pointed out after Clint groaned loudly in frustration and buried his head in the sidearm of the couch.

"Just texted Jane," Pepper announced. "She says Darcy's mom is trying to convince her dad to tone down the grounding. She's only grounded for 4 months now and is allowed to have one person over at a time if its chaperoned. No word on Clint though."

"See, it's not that bad," Sif said brightly, leaning back into Hogun's arm.

"I think we men should all take this as a lesson," Tony began solemnly.

"To what?" asked Pepper with a skeptical brow.

"To not keep our girlfriend's panties in bed during laundry day?" Bucky laughed.

"Yes or to store them in our sheets for masturbation purposes," Tony finished with a dirty but pleased look, avoiding the items being thrown his way.

"Ew Tony, not cool," Betty frowned.

"Sound advice though," shrugged Bucky, chugging the rest of his soda and belching loudly. He smiled at the unimpressed stare from Natasha.

"Hey!" Clint shouted. "I wasn't keeping them there for anything. She forgot to put them back on. I didn't know they were there."

"So then check your sheets next time. Man, you know what's gonna happen?" Tony was now going back to being serious and waited until everyone was paying attention. "Your parents are going to talk to Darcy's parents, who are going to talk to Jane's parents and then it's going to get around to everyone's parents that Clint and Darcy fuck. Then our parents are all going to say: 'Hey, I wonder what my kids are up to?' Then everyone's going to have the awkward sex talk and earlier curfews and more chaperones."

"I already had the awkward sex talk with my parents," Steve offered.

"It was awkward. I was there," smiled Peggy, sticking her tongue out when Steve tickled her side.

"You helped my mom with examples."

"Point missed Rogers," Tony crossed his arms and stood on the coffee table despite Natasha's shouts against it. "All of our parents are going to assume we all have sex."

"I thought we all did have sex," Betty said.

"I'm not having sex," said Fandral drolly. "Not like I haven't tried though."

"If all our parents assume we have sex, they're going to stop us from having sex!" explained Tony, waiting for everyone to suddenly see his point and agreed that all parent gossiping needed to end. It didn't happen.

"This is the worst birthday party ever," Clint finally huffed, getting up without further word and walking to his room. Everyone that cared looked on helplessly. Eventually, Natasha and Bucky decided to follow and try to coax him back.

"Worst party I've been to had to be Tony's 8th birthday. His mom rented a pony that got a little friendly with me," remembered Bruce.

"Best pictures ever," Tony exclaimed with a jolly laugh, hopping off the coffee table and bringing up his Facebook page on his phone so he could change his profile picture to young Bruce Banner being chased by a pony.