A/N: i don't know what this was? but... it's something. sometimes stories take a turn and we don't really expect it.

so sorry for the lack of updates. thank you guys for the constant support! it means a lot to me.

onwards and upwards!

It was unexpected.

It was definitely unexpected.

"Is Brittany here?"

Brittany has half the mind to tackle her roommate and slam the door and then parkour out the window, but she manages to sit still at the dining table where she was typing away on her laptop. Actually, she doesn't manage. She just freezes, in the middle of replying to Lord Tubbington's email, because this was unexpected.

She hears her roommate - her name is Katie and she's from Kentucky with bright auburn hair and an unhealthy obsession with One Direction - respond, "Yeah, she's here. What do ya need?"

"I, uh, I just need to talk to her."

"Oh yeah, sure thing darlin'. Britts! Someone here wants to talk to you at the door!" Katie turns around and walks away from the front door just as Brittany manages to make herself stand up and stumble to the door.

She faces her, and Brittany decides that Santana did not do her description of Dani justice. Dani was gorgeous; with her wide eyes and red lips and blonde hair. "Um. Hi?"

"You're Brittany?"

"One and only. Well, actually that's not true," Brittany rambles, and when Dani cocks her head to the side in confusion and her perfectly done eyebrows furrow just the slightest bit, Brittany blushes. "I share the same name as Britney Spears."

Dani only nods, and clears her throat, and Brittany tries hard not to think of this girl kissing Santana, or touching her, or tugging her along the busy streets of New York City. "Aren't you going to let me in?" Her tone is playful and Brittany can tell she is only teasing, but heat rushes up to her cheeks once again and she opens the door wider, this time, and gestures towards the inside of the apartment.

"It's not very clean, sorry about that," Brittany says as Dani makes her way in. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"No, I have to get going soon, anyways. I was just dropping by to invite you to something."

And now Brittany is really confused, because why is Dani here, why did she come so far to just invite Brittany somewhere? She doesn't say anything though, as Dani reaches into her satchel and pulls out a flyer. "We're playing tonight. Somehow Rachel booked us a venue and Santana's really excited about it."

Brittany takes the flyer and studies it; and she has to admit that the band looks good. Like, really good. There was Kurt and Rachel in the middle and Santana and Dani on the right and the guy that Kurt talked about - Starchild or something like that - on the left. Dani's holding a guitar and they all have mic stands in front of them, posing with it. It's simple and sweet and on the bottom the flyer declares, "Pemela Lansbury at the Mecury Lounge!" and Brittany is happy for them, because Kurt's band is definitely going to go places.

Dani's voice snaps Brittany out of her thoughts. "It's our first show. You should come watch."

Brittany manages to tear her eyes away from the flyer in her hands, bites her bottom lip, because she hates lying, but she doesn't want Dani to think that she came all this way for nothing. "I will."

Dani nods, and smiles, and Brittany can't help but think that Dani is nice, and it's nice that Santana's found a person like Dani. So Brittany lies some more. "Don't tell Santana. It'll be a nice surprise for her to see her best friend again."

Dani's eyes brightens, and Brittany's heart drops to her stomach. "Great. I love surprises. I'll see you at the concert then?"

Brittany musters up all of her energy to smile. "Yeah," she breathes, and for the first time in a long time, she feels sick.

Brittany doesn't show up at the concert, and Dani doesn't call to ask.

She keeps the flyer, and then goes out to buy a scrapbook when she reads reviews online about how much the Pemela Lansbury rocked and the potential it has. She prints out each review on glues them in the scrapbook, along with pictures of the band.

The second time Dani comes, though, it is 4 weeks later and Brittany hides in her bedroom and tells Katie to tell Dani - who stood at the door with another poster in hand - that she was out.

Katie gives Brittany the poster that states that Pemela Lansbury was playing at the Mercury Lounge again, and Katie tells Brittany that Dani told her to go again, that it's totally fine that Brittany didn't show up the other time because she gets it - MIT student and all, right?

Katie tells Brittany she should go, because out of curiosity Katie had googled Pemela Lansbury at the Mercury Lounge and saw part of their performance and loved it. Brittany just swallows the lump in her throat and smiles. "Next time, just don't answer the door," she tells Katie, and ignores the questioning look she gives her, retreating back to her room before Katie could ask.

The third time Dani comes, Brittany doesn't see her and Katie doesn't either because they were both - honestly - pulling all nighters at the library because it's finals week.

Brittany doesn't want to admit the rush of adrenaline and urge to just leave everything in Boston to see Santana sing when she spots another flyer tacked on the door of her crappy apartment.

She youtubes Pemela Lansbury late that night, tired of reading about quantum physics and mechanics and numbers.

They've made a youtube account, covering songs everywhere; on the streets of New York, in Rachel and Kurt's loft, in the diner they all work at. Brittany subscribes, and likes all their videos.

Her breathing hitches when she finds the duet of Santana and Dani singing Here Comes the Sun. It's perfect and near flawless and Brittany is glad, she really is, that Santana took her advice and is chasing her dreams. That's all she ever wanted for her, honestly, but Brittany still can't help the gnawing at her heart and the voice in the back of her head that tells her that she should've never let Santana go.

The fourth time Dani visits, a year after she had first shown up at Brittany's door; she is in tears and demanding why.

Why what, Brittany doesn't know, but she does know that she was the one that opened the door this time, not Katie, and so she should probably let Dani in and sit on the couch.

Dani shakes her head hard when Brittany asks her to come in, to tell her what's wrong. Because the girlfriend of her ex girlfriend wouldn't just show up at her doorstep - the girl that was her girlfriend's ex girlfriend.

"Why?" Dani demands again, the tears slowing down but it still stained her cheeks.

Brittany thinks she should be the one asking why to Dani, because she was the one that showed up here crying, and she was the one that bought flyers and invited Brittany to their shows. But then Brittany decides that she should just settle for an explanation instead, so she asks, "Why what?"

"She still loves you, you know," Dani admits, and she sounds so tired Brittany can't help but step forward to give Dani a hug.

"I know," Brittany whispers, and she kind of feels sorry, but also a little relieved. She feels Dani hug her back. "But we love a lot of people in our lives. She loves you, too."

Dani pulls away then, to stare at Brittany. It makes Brittany just a bit uncomfortable but just when she was about to open her mouth to fill the silence, Dani beats her to it. "I'm just one of those people, aren't I? But you," Dani shuffles her feet a little and she smiles at Brittany, sad and accepting and kind of happy at the same time. Brittany doesn't know why Dani isn't angry, why she haven't even attempt a fight with her. "You're not one of those people in Santana's life. Hell, you're not one of those people in anyone's lives. Because anyone who's been loved by you just feels so god damn special."

Brittany shakes her head, and she smiles back at Dani, sad and accepting and kind of happy at the same time, too. "I'm not. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I think Santana is one of those people that makes you feel special just by loving you."

Dani giggles a little, cheeks still flushed and eyes puffy from crying. "That's funny. She said the same thing about you, too."

/

Brittany invites Dani in again after their quiet giggling had died down and Dani nods, half hesitating.

She brews a pot of coffee and tells Dani to sit, and then runs in to her room to pull out a scrap book she kept of Pemela Lansbury. Dani doesn't find it weird at all, surprisingly, just teases Brittany about her being their biggest fan. She asks Brittany who's voice she liked best, Santana not included. Brittany blushes a little and admits that second to Santana, Dani had a great voice.

They talk about a lot of things, mostly about Santana and the band and the surprising growth of their fan base. Brittany doesn't think it's surprising at all, considering the talent and ambition the band has.

When Dani is about to leave, she pulls out a flyer at the door. "Just this one time."

Brittany shakes her head. She pushes the flyer gently away from her and towards Dani. "Do me a favor, though?" Dani only nods a little, crumbling up the flyer in her hand and letting her arms fall back to her sides, defeated. "Tell her I'm doing okay. And take care of her." Pause. "Love her like she's the last person you'll love. Okay?"

Dani cracks a smile, despite the solemn air between them. "Okay."

Dani doesn't come back after that.

But then Kurt does.

/

It's another year before he does, though, and when he shows up at Brittany's apartment - which she now shared with Katie and another girl named Hannah, because who knew Katie was gay - Hannah was the only one home.

Hannah answers the door and she makes the mistake of asking Kurt if he is looking for her girlfriend.

"What?" Kurt asks, but it's too late because by then Brittany had just gotten home from class and the pair of them freezes; Brittany because she is shocked and surprised and Kurt because he didn't know Brittany had a girl she was getting serious with.

"Kurt," Brittany sputters out eventually when the staring and the silence became too much. "What are you doing here?"

Kurt just puts on a smile, and Brittany can tell it was fake because Kurt wore that smile a lot when she was being his beard. "Visiting, that's all," he says, and Brittany is impressed because his voice doesn't even waver as he lied through his teeth. "Well, aren't you going to invite me in to your lovely home?"

Brittany nods, and then she remembers Hannah, who is just standing there looking very, very confused. She looks over to her and says, "Hannah, Kurt. Kurt, Hannah. Kurt's my friend from high school. We were in glee club together."

Hannah stands, wide eyed, and sticks out a hand. "Nice to meet you, Kurt."

"Kurt, this is Hannah. She's my roommate's girlfriend."

"Oh," Kurt takes Hannah's hand and shakes it. "Oh!" he says again, as realization sets in. "It's nice to meet you," Kurt says, with a smile that seems a bit more real this time.

Brittany invites Kurt in while Hannah retreats back to her and Katie's room, claiming she was in the middle of a really intense episode of Chopped. Kurt takes to the couch and Brittany brews coffee.

It's a familiar scene, until Kurt smells the coffee and sheepishly declares, "I'll have tea, please," so Brittany puts the kettle on as Kurt made his way to the kitchen and leans on the counter.

"How's New York?" Brittany asks, and Kurt is probably surprised by the question, because his eyebrows went up a little bit and if anyone could express a range of emotions and thoughts through eyebrow movement alone, it's Kurt.

"It's good," Kurt replies. "Except you're not there. So Santana is less bearable, and really bitchy sometimes."

Brittany almost laughs, because Kurt always liked to get to the point right away, there is just simply no time for small talk. "How's Santana?" she asks instead, since it's Santana Kurt wanted to talk about, so Santana is probably the reason Kurt is here.

"She broke up with Dani. But they're still friends, or at least on speaking terms."

"So I've heard."

Kurt turns to her, and Brittany can tell he is really surprised, because his eyebrows goes way up and almost touches his hairline. "How?"

"Dani called. She said sorry," Brittany throws out quickly as the kettle starts to whistle and she turns the stove off, looking through the cabinets for a mug and a tea bag.

"How do you know about Dani?" Kurt asks, alarmed, so obviously Dani hadn't told anyone about her visits to Brittany's apartment. Why would she, anyways?

"We're friends," Brittany says, pouring the hot water into the mug. She hands Kurt his mug of tea. "Milk? Sugar?"

"Honey would be nice, thank you," Kurt says, accepting the mug. "Santana's been burying herself in work and trying to get us more gigs. She really wants Pemela Lansbury to be something."

Brittany shoots Kurt a look as she handed the bottle of honey to Kurt. "And you don't?"

"I do but," Kurt takes the bottle, opens it and squeezes the honey into his mug, "I feel like Pemela Lansbury is just temporary. Rachel has Broadway and Dani and Santana would both be amazing solo artists. Pemela Lansbury is just something to get them started, you know?" Kurt shrugs. "It was just something I wanted to try out. Something different."

"And edgy," Brittany recalls, lightly. Kurt laughs, and they settle into silence again. "Why are you really here, Kurt?"

"Come to New York."

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?"

"Both," Brittany admits. "I'm afraid if I go visit, if I see her again, I won't want to come back." She pauses, considering her next words carefully. "And I don't want that. Because I've got to make something of myself first. So does Santana."

Kurt opens his mouth to say something, but then stops. "If you say so, Britt," he sighs softly. "But it just, it feels weird. Having Santana around and not having you close by."

"It's been a few years, Kurt."

Kurt shrugs, near pouting. "Still."

Brittany smiles, "Do you have a place to stay?" Kurt's eyebrows scrunches up and Brittany knows then that he doesn't. "We have a spare room."

"Thanks, Brittany," Kurt says. "Sorry for the surprise visit."

"Don't be sorry. It's good to see you again, Kurt. Do me a favor?"

"If it's possible," Kurt jokes.

"Let Pemela Lansbury run its course. I don't think it's going to be something."

Kurt frowns.

Brittany chuckles. "I know it's going to be something."

Kurt doesn't come back after that, either.

But then Quinn does.

With Rachel.

/

It's definitely been a while.

2 years, to be exact, and this time when Quinn knocks on her door, Brittany is expecting her.

But not Rachel.

"Happy Graduation!" squeals Quinn as soon as Brittany opens her door, champagne in hand, and walks in the apartment eagerly.

And trailing behind her was...

"Rachel?"

"Hello, Brittany. I hope you don't mind but I made a surprise visit to Quinn and then she told me that she was actually coming down to see you, so I thought-"

Brittany pulls Rachel in for a hug, which shuts her up almost instantly. "Thanks for coming too, Rach," Brittany says, and she means it, though she had hoped-

"Santana says she's sorry that she couldn't make it," Quinn states from behind her and Brittany lets go of Rachel. She manages to keep herself composed. Pemela Lansbury is currently in a middle of a mini tour around the East Coast, and Brittany couldn't be happier.

"I told her not to come," Brittany says honestly, shrugging. She changes the subject. "How come you're not touring, Rachel?"

"Funny Girl," Quinn butts in before Rachel could say a word, which would have lead to a sentence, and then a paragraph, and then probably a thesis. Surprisingly, Rachel just nods along with Quinn, and then silence. An uncomfortable one, because it seems as if Quinn wants to ask why Brittany told Santana not to come, and Rachel wants to ask why Brittany didn't come to any of their shows, and Brittany just wants them to attend her graduation without talking about Santana or thinking about Santana or seeing Santana.

"So I met a boy," Brittany tries, because it's the most recent event worth talking about other than that she's graduating.

"Oh," Quinn utters out.

"Oh, that's wonderful, Brittany. What's he like?" Rachel asks, quick on her feet and for the first time, Brittany is so thankful of Rachel's ability to talk more than the average human being.

/

"Why don't you come to New York for my show?" Rachel asks, when they're alone because Quinn had decided that the first thing she's going to do is shower, and then search Brittany's apartment for bacon.

"I can't," Brittany says.

"Brittany, you know, she wants to see you too."

"Can't," Brittany mutters, shaking her head. "I've thought about it, but eventually..."

Rachel is the quietest Brittany has ever seen her, looking at her with wide eyes and searching for an answer.

"Eventually it just got harder and harder to drop everything and step out that door."

There's silence between them and Brittany is surprised Rachel could even go this long without talking.

"Britt?" Rachel says, breaking the silence suddenly and making Brittany jump a little from her spot on the couch.

"Yeah?"

"It gets lighter and lighter as you get closer, I promise."

"I don't even like that boy I met," Brittany confesses.

/

"So what are you going to do after graduation?" Quinn asks, because it's important to ask these things when your best friend is graduating. They're having dinner that Brittany had so graciously prepared; meaning she had called for some Chinese take out.

"I don't know," Brittany asks honestly. "I think I'll move somewhere. Boston is nice, but I guess I'm a bit bored of it."

"You'll say when, right? Won't just drop off the face of the Earth?"

Brittany laughs, though she was thinking of doing just that. Maybe then people would stop dropping by for random visits. "Maybe, Quinn. No promises," she jokes, and Quinn furrows her eyebrows.

"I'm serious, B."

Quinn looks as if she'll murder her any second if Brittany doesn't keep in touch, so Brittany sighs and nods. She pauses before asking, like all the others who came to her apartment with Santana in mind and a similar past that included Lima, Ohio. "Do me a favor, though?"

"Sure, B."

"Don't tell Santana."

No one comes when her apartment is filled with boxes ready to be moved, and Brittany doesn't know if she's relieved or sad or disappointed. Katie and Hannah had helped her pack and then they had gone out when Brittany insisted they took the rest of the night off and that she'll be fine by herself, she promise.

She guesses that this is what she asked for - a quiet evening as she ends a chapter of her life and begins a new one.

And then she wonders who will be in this new chapter, because as the author, sometimes she gets to choose who stays and who don't, and sometimes someone just jumps between the pages unexpectedly. Brittany looks at the boxes in her apartment, and realizes nothing in those boxes belongs to Santana.

And that's what makes her swing open her door with a new determination she hasn't felt since moving to Boston.

/

"Santana." Brittany rubs her eyes, because is she really standing there, the same as she'd always been? She takes in Santana, standing there in one of those dresses that clung to the curves of her body perfectly, jet black hair let down and pooling over her shoulders, and soulful brown eyes that Brittany could always get lost in. It's the same as Santana's always been, liking nothing had changed at all. "What are you doing here?"

"Rachel lied. She said it'd get lighter as I got closer, but it just-" Santana pauses, takes in a breath. "It just felt heavier, you know?"

Brittany takes a small step back, because Santana used to tell her that she made her light; lighter than anyone's ever made her feel. She thinks this is probably a hint or something, but the look of hurt that flashes through Santana's eyes as she took that step back made Brittany unsure of what this meant. So she tries again, but all that seemed to come out of her mouth was, "Santana."

"And it just got really heavy, and I couldn't breathe so I almost turned away but you opened the door and," Santana stops, eyes wide and sort of a little freaked out and Brittany wants to hug her so, so bad. "Fuck, I'm not good with these things."

"I feel lighter," Brittany admits, and the corners of Santana's mouth quirks up a little. "None of these things in my boxes belong to you," Brittany states. "And for the love of God, I couldn't figure out why."

"Why doesn't anything in here belong to me?"

"Because." Brittany takes step towards Santana, and the shorter girl doesn't back away. "I was scared of the weight."

"And?"

"And now I'm not."

Santana takes a step towards her too. "Me neither," she whispers, and they're so close. "Do me a favor?"

"Anything," Brittany mutters.

"Come to the concert tonight."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

And then the 190.25 miles between them disappeared, and so did the four years they each took to find themselves again.

Just like that.