"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."

― Marie Curie

When she was safe inside the confines of her hotel room Sydney stripped out of her dress and into an over-sized t shirt and shorts. She slid quietly into bed and glanced at the clock. 2:35 AM. Splendid. She needed to be up at 8 AM for her 10 AM flight back to Palm Springs. And she'd promised Adrian she'd speak with him before then. She decided she'd go to him at 7. She didn't know how long it would take for her to give him an answer but it was better to be safe than sorry, and an hour seemed like more than enough time. That gave her 5 hours of sleep, but if she went to bed right now and woke up at 7 to go see Adrian, she'd be in the same state of mind then as she was now. She quickly adjusted her plan in her mind. She would sleep for a couple hours, then wake up, think things over, and then go see Adrian.

It was 2:40 now. She set the alarm on her phone for 4:30. It usually took her around 15 minutes or so to fall asleep. So if she was out by 3, she'd only get an hour and a half of sleep. But it was the only time that allowed her to wake up in between sleep cycles, which was proven to ensure more alertness upon waking, with enough time to think, get herself packed and ready, and talk to Adrian, all before 8 AM, which is when they needed to be leaving the hotel.

She closed her eyes, sighing deeply. Her mind, of course, went straight to Adrian. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about him, not now, that was for later. But he swirled through her thoughts obstinately. She wondered what he was doing right now. Sleeping, probably. Well, given the circumstances, probably not. She felt a pang, then, feeling bad for being the cause of him losing any sleep. She rolled to her side, bringing her legs up to her chest. The bed was too big, suddenly. The room was too dark. She sunk down lower into bed, pulling the comforter over her head. She closed her eyes tightly, trying not to imagine what if would be like if she had taken Adrian up on his offer to sleep in his room. It was utterly out of the question, she knew that. But alone the in the dark she couldn't help but wonder about how it would feel to be that intimate with someone. Not just any someone, but Adrian. She felt goosebumps rising along her skin. The thought of his warm arms around her, holding her while she slept, made her giddy. She could feel her heart thudding in her chest. She took a deep breath, shaking free of any more impure thoughts. She needed to sleep. But she wasn't tired, which was absurd. She'd been exhausted just a few minutes ago. Now she felt wired. Her legs were restless, stretching out and kicking uncomfortably beneath her. She tried to roll over and re-position herself. She tried to clear her mind. She tried deep breathing exercises. She tried counting backwards from 1,000. Nothing worked.

With a heavy groan, she propped herself up, looking to the clock on the nightstand. 3:26 AM. Fantastic. If she managed to fall asleep in the next 4 minutes she'd have an hour of sleep. What was the point of that? Still, she had to try.

Awhile later, Sydney rolled over in bed groggily, blinking slowly. It took her a moment to realize she had actually dozed off. She reached blindly for her phone, grabbing it from the nightstand to see how long she'd been out for. The time read 4:02 AM. Okay, she thought. That's it. She gave up on trying to sleep. It was clear it wasn't going to happen any time soon. I just won't sleep, she thought, throwing the covers off herself with reckless abandon. She supposed if worst came to worst she could always sleep on the plane. That might prove to be an easy way out of an awkward trip home, depending on how her conversation would go with Adrian in a few hours. She really had no idea what she was going to do. But she had roughly 3 hours to figure it out, so she had better get to it.

"I love her, and that's the beginning and end of everything."

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

There wasn't a word to describe what Adrian Ivashkov was feeling. He could call it nervous, but that was a gross understatement. What he was feeling went beyond what nervous implied. Was there a word for feeling like every time you inhale you feel like your brain is going to burst out of your skull? And every time you exhale your heart careens violently against your ribcage? If there was a word for whatever that was, Sage would undoubtedly know it. Sage. Just thinking her name made him ache. God, he needed chill the hell out. But how? How could he keep himself calm when he'd just ripped himself open and laid his insides out on the floor in front of her? And she'd said, "I need to think about it." The urge to vomit seized him.

He understood why she needed to think. He understood she needed time. She wasn't an impulsive person. Not like he was. She was all about logic and reason. Adrian couldn't imagine Sydney doing anything without thinking it through. She was probably doing just that right now. Or maybe she was asleep, not particularly bothered with the thought of him, at all. Did she really need to think about it? Or was that just a polite way of saying "I'll let you down easy after I've had my beauty sleep"? He was being pessimistic. If Sage said she needed to think, then she did. She wouldn't string him along simply because she was afraid to hurt him. She was always honest with him. That was one of the first things that he knew he liked about her. She never sugarcoated things. She never coddled him. At first her unwavering bluntness had been nothing but an annoyance, and at times, a little hurtful. But the weird thing about that kind of honesty is that even when it hurts, it makes you feel better at the same time. Not at first, at first it just sucks and makes you feel like shit. But then you think about it and you're like, well damn. I guess that makes sense. And when that happens it's like this huge weight is lifted off of you that you didn't even know was there. In fact, the more Adrian thought about it, that metaphor pretty much described how Sydney made him feel, in general. Lame as it was. She made him feel like he was capable of things. It seemed so stupid, but no one had ever made him feel that way before. His whole life everyone had either treated him like he was more or less useless -not without good reason- and resigned to let him wallow in his vices, breeze through life on good looks and charm. But then here came this strange, bossy girl who pulled him up by his bootstraps and told him that wasn't how it was going to work.

And that strange, bossy girl turned out to be many other things as well. Like, fiercely intelligent. And inspiring. And loyal. And brave. And damn beautiful. Inside and out. And then Adrian couldn't stop himself from thinking about that girl. He didn't know what it was, just that he liked the way he felt when he was around her. And so then he found reasons to be around her. And the more he was around her, the more he wanted to be. He'd done all sorts of things to impress girls in the past, to get them to want him, to get them to say yes. But with Sydney, it was different. He wasn't even thinking about that. He bought that ridiculous car because he wanted to see her face light up when she saw it. That was all. She'd wrapped herself around his heart without even knowing she was doing it. Adrian sighed and rolled over in bed. He lifted his head to check the time. 6:17 AM. It wouldn't be long, now. They needed to be leaving the hotel for the airport around 8 or 9 in the morning. He should probably get out of bed and make sure he had all his shit together, literally. Or take a shower. Anything to stop himself from thinking about her.

But he couldn't. What was she doing, right now, right this very second? He imagined her in her hotel room, pacing back and forth, mapping out the pros and cons of being with him on a portable dry-erase board that she carried with her at all times, in case of any dry-erase emergencies. Or hunched over in bed, scribbling away at one of the little notepads they always had in hotel rooms, her lovely little face all scrunched up in thought, organizing a spreadsheet about it. He shifted restlessly. He'd known there was no chance in hell she'd take him up on his offer to sleep with him tonight. She probably was afraid of what he'd try to do. But he wasn't lying when he said all he wanted was to be close to her. Well, in truth, he wanted a lot more than that. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, feel her soft body pressed against his. Jesus, he really needed a shower now. A cold one. He pulled himself out of bed, stripping off his shirt and boxers and tossing them aside. He made his way to the tiny, claustrophobic nightmare of a bathroom and turned the shower on full blast. He shivered as the freezing water rained down on him, instantly regretting this rashly chosen form of therapy. Thankfully it didn't take too long for the water to heat up, and he let his head fall back, running his hands through his hair. Surprisingly, after awhile of just feeling the steady rush of water on his skin he was able to clear his mind a bit. He didn't feel quite as wound up as before. A nice, soothing calm began to envelop him. He didn't even that feel sick to his stomach as he washed his hair with the disgusting generic shampoo the hotel supplied. He was feeling relatively at peace as he stepped out of the shower, cheerfully slinging a towel around his hips. He looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced. He was looking a bit rough, eyes a bit sunken in from lack of sleep, some sparse patches of five o'clock shadow sprinkling his face. He left the bathroom to fish out a can of shaving cream and a razor from his bag, threw on a pair of pants, and returned, eager to clean himself up.

He had barely finished when he heard a knock at the door. His heart stopped, he was pretty sure. For a moment he considered answering the door as he was. Bare chested and hair still dripping wet. But he knew Sage would have a fit if he did that. And as much as he'd kill to see the look on her face, now was not the time to be teasing her. He quickly strode back into the room, slipping on a dark blue button down shirt. There was another knock. He hastily buttoned it up and grabbed for the towel he'd discarded earlier and rubbed it over his head.

He took a deep breath and walked toward the door. He paused before opening it, his anxiety rushing back to him all at once. Jesus, Ivashkov. He scolded himself. Pull yourself together.

He yanked open the door the same way you would rip off a band-aid. And there she was. She looked slightly flustered by his appearance, but gave him a small smile. He wanted to kiss her, right then and there, but of course he couldn't. Instead he returned her smile and cleared his throat. "Good morning, Sage."

Her smile spread wider across her face. "Good morning, Adrian." The sound of his name on her lips did things to him. He just loved the way she said it. The way she enunciated all the syllables so deliberately. He tried to force himself not to imagine what it would be like to hear her whisper it desperately, but his imagination was persistent. He couldn't help but smirk.

She looked up at him curiously. "What's that face for?"

"Nothing." He shook his head, trying not to laugh. "Just looking at you. You look cute." It wasn't a complete lie, she did look cute. As always. She was wearing a dark maroon sweater over a collared white shirt. And khaki pants, of course. But they were slim fitting, which was a surprise, and he wasn't discreet about appreciating the way they hugged her hips and thighs.

A faint blush rose to her cheeks. "Thank you," she said softly. "You...you look very nice."

"I know," he grinned, hoping that would make her laugh. She just smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Would it be alright if I came in?" she asked. She was being kind of weird. Too formal. He swallowed. That probably wasn't a good sign.

"Yeah, of course." he said, stepping back from the door to let her inside. She walked past him almost dutifully, toting her little travel suitcase behind her. He was momentarily distracted by the fact that those slim fit khakis looked even better from behind. "So," he breathed. "You ready to talk?"

"You're not even packed." she said, her gaze stretching across the room.

She was stalling. Also not a good sign. He sighed heavily. "I'll pack as soon as we've finished talking. I barely got any sleep, Sage."

She spun around to face him. "I didn't sleep at all."

He took a few steps closer to her. "Why not?"

She looked away from him. "I had a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to sit down?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

She shook her head. "No, I'm uh..I'm fine. Unless...do you want to sit down?" Her aura was flickering. She was nervous. Dread pulled at his heart.

He shrugged. "We can stand."

"Okay. Well..." She looked down, pulling at the hem of her sweater as if to smooth it, though it didn't need to be. Her skittishness would have been cute, any other time, but today this was bad sign number three. "I was really...conflicted...about what to do. You see..." she paused, looking up at him. "I've been thinking a lot about love..." she looked away from him again. "About what it means to be in love with someone. It's always something that's sort of evaded me...you know?"

Where ever she was going with this, it didn't sound good. Adrian gave her a slow nod.

"And I always thought that love was this sort of thing where..." she paused again. His throat tightened. He felt like he was on the finale of one of those trashy reality TV shows, waiting to see if he was the one she picked or not.

"I thought that when you loved someone it meant that you wouldn't be able to live without them, you know what I mean?"

Adrian nodded again. God, this was agonizing.

"And so I thought about it. Living without you." she looked at him. "And I realized that it would hurt, it would devastate me, and I would be miserable for a long time, but I could do it. I could move on with my life. I could be okay without you."

Jesus Christ. And he thought Rose's parting words to him were harsh. He'd rather relive that moment a thousand times then have heard what Sydney just said.

He blinked at her, dumbfounded. She opened her mouth to speak again and he shook his head. "No," he said, his voice low. "I don't want to hear this."

She cocked her head to the side. "But I'm not finished."

He scoffed. "I think I get the point, Sage."

She shook her head, moving toward him. "No, I don't think you do. I don't want to be okay, Adrian." She kept moving until she was right in front of him. She brought her hands up to touch his face. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I've spent my whole life being okay. I want to be happy. I want to be overwhelmed. I want to be fun and...and free... and maybe even a little bit crazy." she laughed slightly. "And I only feel that way when I'm with you." Those gorgeous golden eyes stared intently into his. "Who cares if I could live without you? I don't want to. I don't want to. And that's what I think it really is...to be in love with someone. To choose them over anything else you could have, because even if it could be okay, it doesn't matter. It's not them. And I..." she took a deep breath. "I choose you."

His arms wrapped around her waist almost instinctively. His heart was thudding against his chest. His head was rushing. "Sorry...can you say that again?"

She moved her hands to encircle his neck. "I choose you." She whispered, gently knocking their foreheads together. She pulled back after a moment, a serious look on her face. "But it's not going to be easy. We're going to have to be careful. Really careful. And we can't-"

He had fully intended to let her finish that thought but his mouth unfortunately had its own agenda, pressing feverishly up against hers. She made a small squeak of surprise, but she was kissing him back. He brought his hands up to cup her face, pulling her as close to him as physically possible. He still hadn't gotten used to how it felt. The softness of her lips against his. The taste of her. He didn't think he ever would. Every time her mouth came in contact with his it was electric. It was dizzying. It was the ultimate high. She sighed softly against his mouth, her sweet, warm breath mixing with his. God, it felt so good. He nipped at her bottom lip gently and to his surprise she did the same thing to his, sucking on it as she pulled away. He saw this getting very out of control very fast, and he was fine with that. He loved her. She loved him back. Nothing else in the universe mattered. He dipped his head to place soft kisses on her neck and oh, the sound she made when he did, made every nerve in his body ignite. She was pushing him away, suddenly, breathing hard.

"You have to pack." she panted.

He laughed, pulling her back. "No, I don't."

"What time is it?" she asked, still wriggling away from his frenzied kisses. She looked around and her eyes widened when they landed on the clock. "7:45!" she squeaked. "Adrian, we have to go."

He groaned. "We're fine. The flight's not until 10."

"It's recommended to get there 2 hours ahead of time." she said, managing to untangle herself from his grasp completely. She immediately went to work, scooping up his shirt and boxers from where he'd strewn them and shoving them into his overnight bag.

"Yeah it's also recommended to let your food stand in the microwave for 2 minutes after it's done cooking." Adrian scoffed. "Don't tell me you do that too."

Sydney shot him a vaguely horrified expression. "Are you telling me that you don't?"

Adrian laughed, walking up behind her and squeezing her from behind. He kissed the back of her head, sighing deeply. "My anal retentive little princess."

She made a disgusted noise in her throat. "Little princess?"

He pulled back, lacing his voice with mock offense. "You don't want to be my little princess?"

"Can you help me finish packing your things, please?" she sighed and though he couldn't see her face he could almost feel her eyes rolling.

He chuckled. "Maybe my little dictator is a more fitting nickname."

They arrived at the airport with a little over an hour to spare. Sydney felt immensely accomplished for pulling this off. After she'd managed to get Adrian to actually help pack the rest of his belongings he'd held them up another 15 minutes -15 minutes- doing his hair. She could have killed him. But he looked so cute when he emerged from the bathroom, hair all gelled up in that ridiculous way he did it, she'd decided she could hold off on murdering him, for the time being.

"You're being quiet," Adrian said after they had successfully checked in.

"Hm?" Sydney mumbled, blinking slowly at him. "Sorry. I'm just...really tired."

She felt his hand on the small of her back, rubbing affectionately. The touch filled her entire body up with warmth, like being slowly lowered into a warm bath. She groaned. "You're making me more sleepy."

"Here," he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder and grabbing for her suitcase that she was struggling to drag behind her. It seemed in the last 5 minutes to have become twice as heavy as it was before.

"Thank you," she said, giving him a sleepy smile.

He smiled back and with his free hand, reached for hers. They were walking and holding hands. They were in a public place. Any random passerby who saw them would immediately register them as a couple. She was too tired to care about the implications of that. She was just grateful for the comfort and steadiness his hand brought her as he tugged her along.

"Would it help if we got some caffeine in your system?" Adrian asked. Sydney looked up to see they were passing by a tiny Starbucks. Her eyes lit up and she nodded animatedly. "Coffee," she whimpered.

He laughed and threw his arm around her, ushering her over to the counter. The lanky bearded boy behind the register looked tragically bored, staring off morosely into the distance.

"Can I help you?" his voice was a mumbled monotone.

"Yes," Adrian reached down and plucked a bottled water out of the open cooler underneath the counter. "Just this for me." he looked down toward Sydney. "What do you want?"

She attempted to say cappuccino but the word came out as a garbled yawn. Thankfully Adrian was able to decode Sleepy-Sydney-Speak. He turned back to the melancholy boy, smiling brightly. "And a tall cappuccino, for my girlfriend."

That snapped Sydney to attention. The boy emotionlessly gave Adrian his total and Sydney was too stunned to refuse to let Adrian pay for her. And to make matters worse, she belatedly realized in her sleep deprived state she'd forgotten to specify non-fat milk.

It wasn't until she had her unintentionally fattening drink in her hands as they were walking away she found her voice again. "What was that about?"

Adrian looked at her questioningly.

She blushed. "You called me your girlfriend."

He smiled. "Well, that's what you are."

Her blush deepened. "But what was the point of saying it right then?"

"Just wanted to make sure he knew what was what." Adrian grinned, then scowled slightly. "I don't trust boys who work at coffee places."

Sydney snorted. "That guy didn't even glance my way one time. I don't even think he noticed he was alive."

Adrian laughed loudly at that. "You're funny when you're sleepy." He nudged her as they walked. "Drink up."

She took a tentative sip of her cappuccino, which turned into a tentative gulp once she tasted how delicious it was. "Mmm."

Adrian smiled at her. "Good?"

She nodded. She told herself if she only drank half of it, then she would be fine.

When they were seated in the waiting area for their flight's gate, Sydney had already finished a good quarter of her drink.

Adrian's arm was around her suddenly, and then his lips were brushing softly against her temple. "Hey," he whispered. "I love you."

It used to shock her when he said that. Those three words that frightened and fascinated her. Now it just felt like a simple fact. The sky was blue. Water expands as it freezes. He loved her. She turned and looked at him, blinking slowly. "I know."

Adrian scoffed, raising his eyebrows at her. "Did you just Han Solo me?"

Sydney furrowed her brow in confusion. "I don't know what that means."

His eyebrows raised even further, practically touching his hairline. He shook his head. "That just won't do, Sage. First thing when we do when we get back to Palm Springs will be watching Star Wars."

She took another long sip of her drink. She felt the buzz of it now. Or maybe it was just Adrian who made her feel that way. She smiled at him. "And what about after that?"

He leaned in close to her, speaking softly. "Then I'll take you for a ride in my 1976 Ford Mustang convertible." His voice slid over the description of the car like he was saying something dirty. "We'll drive it somewhere quiet and dark, and then we'll park."

"What will we do that for?" she asked, finding it hard to concentrate on what he was saying when his eyes were so close to hers.

He closed the gap between them with a soft, quick kiss. "So we can do that," he said. "Lots of that."

Sydney's body hummed. She felt stupid-happy. She didn't know if it was the thought of a clandestine make-out session with Adrian in his amazing car, the coffee, or her lack of sleep, or a combination of all of those things, but she found herself giggling almost uncontrollably.

"If you kissed me in that car, I don't know what I'd do." she shook her head. "I think I'd lose my mind."

Adrian's smile was the picture of sin. "Precisely."

She sighed. She'd walked right into that one. She was about to give him a haughty reply when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She fished it out, grateful for the distraction. There was a text message from a number she didn't recognize. She frowned, but as she read the message her expression melted into a silly smile.

I may or may not have weaseled a certain Rose Hathaway in2 supplying me with ur number. Hope thts ok. Are things cool w/ u and Adrian now? P.S. I put u in my contacts as BSB. Get it? ;)

She shook her head, typing back a quick reply.

I suppose I can allow it. Things are good. Thank you for asking. I'm a little sleep deprived right now, so sorry if I'm a bit off. But I'll put you in my contacts as Sigmund Freud.

Christian's reply was almost immediate.

LOL. Get some sleep! And tell Adrian I said 2 stop being a tool. (I assume hes being one because its super early and its a day ending in Y).

Sydney giggled and Adrian turned to look at her. "What's so funny?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

He narrowed his eyes dramatically. "Who are you texting over there? Are you having an illicit affair already? We're not even Facebook Official yet."

Sydney laughed. Everything was funny. She was really tired. She was dating a vampire. She had no idea how many calories were in the beverage she was drinking. She tilted her head back and downed the rest of said beverage in stride. She looked up and smiled sweetly at her boyfriend. "Stop being a tool."

Not surprisingly, Sydney slept the entire plane ride back to Palm Springs. She was out before the plane even took off. All the coffee had done was make her jittery and slap-happy before she was finally able to pass out. When she was teetering on the edge of sleep, she had let her head fall onto Adrian's shoulder. She had pretended she was all the way asleep, but she wasn't. She braced herself for Adrian to move, or to gently push her away, but he didn't. Of course he didn't. The last thing she'd been aware of before drifting off was Adrian's warm arm around her, pulling her closer. In that moment, she felt something dangerously close to completeness.

"So how was the wedding?" Jill asked excitedly as she, Eddie, Angeline, and Adrian crowded the living room of Adrian's apartment. Eddie had picked them up from the airport in Latte, and it was strangely uncomfortable to be around her "family" again. She and Adrian could not, under any circumstances, act couple-y around them all and Sydney couldn't help but feel like she'd been woken up too soon from a really good dream. She turned to Jill, infinitely grateful they were on speaking terms again. "It was really beautiful. I wish you could have been there."

Jill sighed dreamily. "I'm so jealous. I love weddings."

"I don't," Angeline scoffed, tossing her wild hair back in a blasé manner. "They're so long and boring. It's the same thing every time."

"I think I'm with Angeline on this one," Eddie laughed and Angeline practically glowed. She slung herself across Eddie, giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. He made an exaggerated noise of disgust, wiping at the spot where she'd kissed and she huffed, punching him in the arm. He laughed, then wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on the side of her head. She giggled and stuck her tongue out at him.

Jill stiffened slightly beside Sydney. Sydney frowned. So that was all still going on. The confusing, convoluted love-triangle that surrounded Jill, Eddie, and Angeline. Before, she could understand how uncomfortable it must be for Jill to have to be around them constantly. Now, she briefly imagined being in her place. Having to be around Adrian and some other girl, watching silently as they flirted, spoke to each other in cutesy little voices, kissed. The thought alone felt like a knife in her chest. She looked down at Jill with a new found empathy. She wanted to give her a small smile or...something...just to let her know someone was in her corner, but she was buried in her phone, typing away, probably just so she wouldn't have to witness Eddie and Angeline's not so subtle displays of affection.

"I used to hate them," Adrian mused, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Well, apart from the ones that served free alcohol. Those were always a treat. But I've gotta say, this wedding in particular has really turned my opinion around."

Eddie shot him a dubious glance. "And why is that?"

Adrian shook his head. "You just had to be there."

Eddie looked to Sydney, raising his eyebrows. "Care to explain?"

Sydney shrugged, it took all her willpower not to crack a smile. "I don't know what he's on about. It was a pretty standard wedding, if you ask me. Lovely, but nothing out of the ordinary."

Adrian was looking down at his phone, but when he looked up he flashed her a crooked smile that turned her heart upside down.

He stood up, suddenly, looking toward Eddie. "Hey Castile, now that we're in the same place, I've been meaning to ask you about helping me out with a renovation project I want to embark on."

Eddie looked more confused than ever. "Excuse me?"

"I need more room to store my paintings. And I need someone with less pretty hands than me to do the dirty work." he smirked. "Here, come with me into the kitchen and I'll explain." He glanced toward Angeline. "You too. You look like you've got tough hands."

Angeline sprung up immediately, looking ecstatic to be included in...whatever Adrian was up to. Sydney shot him a curious look and he just winked at her. When they were all out of the room, she turned to Jill, who had a better insight on the goings on of Adrian's mind more than anyone. "What was-"

"Was it you that talked to Lissa?" Jill asked, completely taking Sydney by surprise.

"What do you mean?" Sydney was confused.

"I got a phone call from Lissa this morning." she said, smiling shyly. "She hasn't really talked to me since I got to Palm Springs...like...at all." her smiled disappeared. "I figured she just didn't really want much to do with me. But she was being so nice on the phone and she was asking me about my classes and how I'm doing and she even mentioned that once the law gets fixed that she can't wait to see me in person so we can hang out and stuff." Jill was talking really fast now. "I'm not going to get my hopes up or anything, but that would be so awesome. Anyway, she told me I could text or call her anytime if I needed to, since we're sisters and all. She actually called me her sister." Jill's smile had returned tenfold. "And she mentioned that she'd met you at the wedding, and told me to tell you hi and stuff, so I just figured...you probably said something to her..." Jill looked at Sydney expectantly.

Sydney suddenly felt exceedingly guilty. She'd been so wrapped up in her own problems, and here Jill was certain she'd been thinking of her. She should have been thinking of Jill. She sighed. "I wish I could say I was that good of a pretend sister, but unfortunately, I might be the worst pretend sister ever." she gave Jill a rueful smile. "I'm sorry, Jill. I just...I had a lot going on in my mind the past two days. I did spend some time with Lissa, but, I didn't say anything to her about contacting you."

To Sydney's surprise, Jill's expression brightened. "You really didn't? You mean, she just did that without anyone telling her to?"

Ah. Now it was all making sense. Sydney nodded, smiling back at her. "It would appear so."

Jill looked deliriously happy. It was contagious. Sydney couldn't help but return her goofy smile. Good for her. And good for Lissa.

A moment later, Jill's expression faltered again. "Sydney..." she said, looking suddenly sheepish. "I'm really sorry."

Sydney was taken aback by this. "What for?"

Jill's cheeks reddened. "For acting the way I did. After, you know...you and Adrian..."

"Oh, Jill." Sydney shook her head. "You don't have anything to apologize for."

"No, I really do." Jill sighed. "I had no right to treat you that way. What happens between you and Adrian is none of my business. It's just that with the bond and everything, sometimes it's so hard to separate his feelings from mine."

"I completely understand that, Jill." Sydney put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "No one blames you for that, least of all me. I felt awful knowing how upset you were with me. I was sick over it. But not for one second did I ever blame you. Okay?"

Jill's eyes were glassy. "I still feel like an idiot about the whole thing. And all that time we weren't talking, I missed you so much." The catch in her voice broke Sydney's heart. She puled Jill into a tight embrace.

"I missed you, too." she patted her on the back reassuringly. "Really, Jill. It's okay."

"I guess on the bright side it made me realize I needed to be trying harder to block Adrian out, get more control over the bond. you know?" Jill pulled back, her eyes wide with enthusiasm "And I've been doing a lot better."

Sydney was impressed. "That's great!" she said, smiling. "I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks," Jill said. "I barely felt anything at all while you guys were gone. I caught a few things here and there, but I didn't get fully pulled into his head at all. Well..." she paused, biting her lip. "I think I saw...you two arguing...about something. But as soon as I realized that was what was happening I pulled myself out right away." she sighed. "When his emotions are strong is when it's the hardest."

Sydney nodded. "I know it's hard. But you've made really amazing progress. You should be proud of yourself."

"Yeah, I guess so." Jill shrugged. "After I pulled myself out that time, though, it was kind of weird. It was dead silence for such a long time. I was actually starting to worry a little bit." she blushed. "I didn't feel anything at all from him until a few hours ago. It was like, really overwhelming. He was so happy. I've never felt anything like it before. So I'm guessing you guys made up," she smiled, then quickly added, "I mean, not that I need to know about that. Like I said, it's none of my business."

The way Jill was dead set on acting like a little lady about this tugged at her heart almost painfully.

"As mature as it is for you to take that stance, I'm about to make it your business." Sydney smiled at her conspiratorially. "Think you can handle it?"

Jill's eyes widened. "Yes, of course."

"I know you're going to find out through the bond eventually, but I'd rather you hear it from me." She took a deep breath, not really sure how to put what she was trying to say into words. "Adrian and I have...decided...to be together."

Jill blinked at her. "You mean like...?"

"Yes," Sydney nodded. "I know it may be confusing for you-"

"Confusing?" Jill scoffed. "This is the best thing that's ever happened!" She grabbed Sydney's hands in hers, bouncing slightly. "No wonder he was so happy. Did you guys..." Jill's eyes flashed with mischief and she dropped her voice to a whisper, "you know...do it?"

"Jill!" Sydney practically choked. "No! Of course not! Why on Earth would you think that?"

"Oh. " Jill's face fell, as if she were disappointed. "Well, I just thought, since the emotions were so strong...and he thinks about it often enough...anyway," she shrugged it off, as if they were having a casual chat about the weather. "What did happen?"

"I don't think that's something appropriate for us to discuss," Sydney sputtered, still reeling from Jill's assumption. "What Adrian thinks of me, I mean. Those thoughts are meant to be private." she paused for a long moment, biting her lip. "How often, exactly?"

"Like, all the time." Jill groaned. "Back when I could hardly ever tune him out, it was awful. Do you know how hard it is to try to take an English test when all I can think about is how badly I want to kiss you? Or what you'd look like in skimpy lingerie? Or-"

"Okay!" Sydney said, clapping her hands together. "Definitely not appropriate for us to discuss."

"Sorry," Jill's face flushed. She cleared her throat. "So, what are you guys going to do now? Are you going to leave the Alchemists? What about when Lissa gets the law sorted out? Are you going to come back to Court with us? That would be amazing! What's Adrian going to do? Does his family know?"

Jill's rapid-fire questioning brought up a bad taste in Sydney's mouth. They were all good questions, questions Sydney had no idea how to answer. She sighed, the fairytale feeling she'd been floating around in all morning was long gone now. "I don't really know what we're going to do." she said softly, "For now, we're just...sort of still feeling everything out. We're not going to tell anyone. I really hate you drag you into it, but we're both trusting you not to say anything."

"I would never," Jill shook her head fiercely. "And you're not dragging me into it, don't feel bad." She touched Sydney's arm, smiling reassuringly. "Even if you didn't tell me, like you said, I'd find out eventually through the bond. It's good that I know what's going on from the start, that way I can keep practicing on staying out of his head as much as possible, you know, to give you guys your privacy."

"You're being really great about this," Sydney said, looking toward the young girl in front of her with pride and admiration. "I know it hasn't been easy for you, everything that's happened recently, and I just...really appreciate you doing this for us." she smiled. "For me."

Jill smiled back. "Well, that's what sisters are for, right? They have each other's backs." she shrugged. "It's the least I could do, anyway, after all you've done for me. And after I was such a jerk to you."

Sydney pulled her arm around her, giving her a light squeeze. "Please try to forget about that. No one's mad at you. And you don't owe me anything." she sighed. "Although, now that you mention it..."

Jill perked up. "What?"

"It's just that, Adrian and I haven't really gotten to talk about...what we're going to do. Among other things. Everything happened kind of suddenly and, I slept through the flight home. Some privacy would be good right about now."

"Oh," Jill frowned. "I wish I would have known that before we came to get you, I could have worked something out."

"No, no, it's fine." Sydney said. "I wanted to spend some time with you guys. We both did."

Jill smiled, then nodded diligently. "So we need an excuse to get us all out of the apartment, and for you to stay?" she pursed her lips in thought. "Okay," she said. "I think I've got something. Just play along."

Sydney raised an eyebrow at Jill, who was taking a deep breath and rolling her shoulders back, as if she were preparing herself for something. She stood up abruptly and shouted, "I told I didn't want to talk about this, Sydney!"

Sydney's eyes widened in confusion momentarily, before she realized what was going on. She stood up and walked over to Jill, also speaking loudly. "Jill, please, just listen to me-"

"No!" Jill shouted, jerking away from her. "Just leave me alone!"

Eddie was there in seconds, looking between the two girls with concern and confusion. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Eddie." Sydney smiled at him. "I can handle it. Jill and I were just having a minor disagreement."

Jill scoffed. "Whatever, Sydney." she looked to Eddie, her eyes pleading. "I want to go now, please."

Angeline and Adrian appeared behind Eddie. Angeline looked delighted. Adrian's expression mirrored Eddie's. "Jailbait," he said gently. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Jill said, crossing her arms. "I just want to go. And I don't want to be around Sydney."

Sydney did her best to look crestfallen. "Jill..." she made her voice pained.

Eddie was annoyed now. "This is ridiculous, you guys were fine just a few minutes ago. And we can't exactly leave without Sydney, Jill. It's her car."

"Fine." Jill said in a clipped tone, "Then I'll just walk home." she turned on her heels and stomped out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Please go after her, Eddie." Sydney sighed. "Just take her back to Amberwood in Latte. It's okay."

Eddie shook his head, still confused, but Sydney could tell the urge to go after Jill was overwhelming him. "I'm sorry, Sydney. I don't know what's up with her lately. But whatever it is, you two really need to work it out." He grabbed Angeline's hand and made for the door. "I'll come back and pick you up?"

"I can take Sydney back in my car." Adrian said immediately, still frowning. "Just go. Don't let Jill her wander off by herself, for God's sake."

Eddie was out the door a second later. Sydney sighed in relief. She turned to Adrian, giving him a small smile.

"What the hell was that?" Adrian asked, "I got Eddie and Angeline out of the room because Jill asked me to. I didn't know it was so you two could have a catfight."

Sydney's smile widened and she walked toward Adrian, placing her hands on his shoulders. "That was Jill's best impression of a bratty teenager throwing a fit. I guess it was convincing?"

Adrian raised his eyebrows. "Wait, so that...what?"

Sydney shrugged. "I just told her to come up with an excuse to get everyone out that would require me staying behind. She chose the drama."

Adrian shook his head, chuckling. "I can't believe it. You're terrible, the both of you."

"Well, we learn from the best." Sydney smirked, reaching up to kiss him softly. He deepened the kiss immediately, his hands wrapping tightly around her waist.

Sydney forced herself to pull back. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Adrian murmured, his lips now against her jaw, trailing kisses toward her ear. Her eyelids fluttered. She pushed him away, she needed to stay focused.

"None of that now," she chastised. "We need to talk about...what we're going to do."

"Watch Star Wars?" he suggested, grinning. "Make-out? Both? I pick both. Problem solved."

Sydney rolled her eyes, trying not to smile. "I mean, what we're going to do, in general. You know, as in.." she gestured between them. "This. Us."

He sat down on the couch, pulling her with him. "I thought we already talked about that."

"Not really," Sydney sighed, leaning into his embrace when his arms wrapped around her. "How exactly are we going to go about spending time together without anyone finding out? We can't expect Jill to give an Oscar-worthy performance every time we need a diversion. And...what are we going to do when the law change goes through?" she asked quietly. "You'll have to leave. I'll have to go back home. What will we do, then?"

Adrian's arms pulled her closer. His mouth was right up against her ear, his breath warm on her skin when he spoke. "Don't worry about the long run stuff," he whispered. "I told you, we'll just take it one day at a time. Let's just enjoy each other as much as we can. Be happy. Be together."

"I can't not worry," Sydney mumbled.

"I know," he said. "But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Together." He kissed the side of her face. "As for the right now stuff, I have a few ideas of reasons for us to spend long periods of time together, but they're still in the brainstorming stages." he chuckled. "I guess you'll just have to trust me."

Sydney turned her body so she was facing him. "I do trust you." She looked into his eyes, sighing. "I'm just..."

He brought his hands up to her face. "Are you scared?"

Sydney nodded slowly. "I'm terrified."

He leaned into her, bringing their faces close. "Me too." His fingers traced the lily on her cheek, stroking it tenderly. "But you know, I've been thinking a lot about love too. What it really means. And I think...it wouldn't be scary if it wasn't real, you know? And this..." he whispered, his lips barely a centimeter away from hers now. "This is real."

"I don't like lying to everyone," Sydney whispered, her heart hammering against her chest.

"I know." Adrian whispered back.

"It's just going to get harder from now on." She warned.

"I know," he said again.

"We both might end up losing a lot." she exhaled a shaky breath. "Or everything."

His forehead touched hers. "I know."

She looked into his eyes, and he looked into hers, and they were looking not at each other, but into each other. Everything inside of her was inside of him as well. Everything she ever wanted, everything she feared, it was all there. And she didn't feel okay. She felt overwhelmed. She felt wild. She felt hope. She felt a little bit insane.

"I love you," she said.

He closed his eyes. He smiled. "I know."

And then she closed her eyes as well, because she didn't need to see him to know he was there. And when the distance finally closed between them she wasn't sure which one of them had done it. Where she ended and he began was was no longer clear. She knew she was taking a risk, a completely uncalculated one at that, and she had no idea what the future had in store for them. But sitting there, wrapped up in Adrian's arms, his lips moving exquisitely against hers, she simply just didn't care.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and/or reviewed this story, to the people who fangirled on tumblr, you're all amazing and awesome and !

If you have any suggestions on what I should do next, I would love to hear it. I've been thinking about perhaps *maybe* expanding upon this story, not really a sequel, just a story set in the future that is sort of built on this foundation, if that makes sense. Or possibly just going in the complete opposite direction and writing a really off the wall AU based sydrian story. I've really been itching to do that. AUs give me life. I don't know, though. Everything's going to change when TIS comes out so maybe I'll see where their relationship has landed at the end of that book and go from there. Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers, you've been the absolute best! And I hope you enjoyed the final installment of the story! It was hard for me to end.