The two women sat across each other on the couch, legs folded beneath them and a cup of tea in their hands. One blond and one brunette.

"It started when I was twelve" Rollins began "My mom had been a drug addict from the moment my dad left when I was five and my stepdad supplied her with drugs". She paused and Olivia smiled at her encouragingly. "unfortunately that wasn't the only thing he did. He was also abusive, knocked us around on a daily basis". Amanda was now telling it very distantly, she figured that was probably easier "Since I was the strong one in our household he tried to bring me down as much as possible, by insulting me, calling me fat and all sorts of things".

She took a deep breath and continued "Eventually I started to believe him, I was an impressionable teenager and so I started to diet and lose weight. When I didn't live up to my standards I started harming myself".

Amanda could see that Liv was on the verge of tears so she decided it had been enough with all the drama "It continued till I was sixteen. I'd learn to stand up for myself and I chased my stepdad out of out house with his own shotgun. Haven't seen him since".

Olivia nodded "And what happened after that?" she asked. Amanda explained "I got better. The poison was gone from my life and I had a family to take care of. So I did, and I grew strong and mature and I joined the police force so I could help others. Everything was fine and I was content. Until I was raped".

Hot tears of shame and anger were now silently seeping over her face and Olivia looked ready to envelope Amanda in another hug but she contained herself and instead asked "That triggered… everything to come back up?".

It was Amanda's turn to nod "It made everything replay in my mind. And at first I had control over it but when I found out they weren't prosecuting him… I lost it".

"Why didn't they prosecute him?" Liv asked out loud. "Because he was chief of police and I was just some SVU detective. His career was more important than mine. Let alone his image. Couldn't have people thinking the police leaders were rapist now could they". Amanda sounded bitter and Olivia completely understood why. It was unfair.

"Anyway, my captain noticed I wasn't doing so well and he got e transferred up to New York. I was glad with the new start and I had a handle back on things for a while". Until I came along and wrecked it for you, Liv thought, angry at herself for not noticing the signs earlier. What kind of detective was she?

"Until we were talking to Gia and you mentioned being assaulted. All the memories just came flooding back and I lost control".

Both women sat in silence. The story was finished and neither of them was quite sure what to say next. Amanda for one was looking at her lap, not able to look the older detective in the eye and face the sympathy that was probably latched there.

"I a so, so sorry" Liv stated "I should've recognized the signs. I should've not been such a bitch even without recognizing the signs. Can you forgive me?". Amanda looked up in surprise "'s not your fault" she muttered "You were only trying to help".

Liv shook her head at this "But I used the wrong way. And I'm going to make it up to you. You invited me over to talk, which I'm gonna use as permission to help you, whether you like it or not". There was a fierceness in Liv's voice that Amanda hadn't heard before and she was sure that Liv meant every word she'd just said.

Amanda smiled and tears of joy welled in her eyes. No one had ever forced their help on her before. No one had ever gone through any trouble for her before. "Thank you" she said earnestly.

Liv took hold of the younger woman's hands "You're very welcome. Cause you're worth it, you know? Because you're an amazing, beautiful person and you're a great detective. I can promise you it's not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it".

A blush crept onto the pale skin of the blond's cheeks at all the compliments she was getting. And even though she didn't completely believe them yet, it felt good that they were coming from the woman sitting across her.

Amanda grinned at Olivia but quickly turned serious "You know it's not going to be easy for you either right? Before you get into this you should know I can be a bit of a handful".

And Liv did know this but the smile she had just seen on her colleague's face made her remember why she was doing this and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen "I do know that. I also know that you're a lot like me, and I think I can handle it".

And without giving it a second thought Olivia slid over to where Amanda was sitting on the couch and hugged her. Putting all the compassion and love she was feeling into the embrace.

Yes they had a long way to go, but she also knew they were going to make it out stronger.

AN; this chapter is for everyone who patiently awaited the day that I'd finally write another chapter and who has been following it since the beginning. This is the final chapter cause I feel like this is a good way the end it. I hope you enjoyed it and if you did be sure to check out my other Rollins centered story 'when the past comes knocking'. Xx