chaosstrutting asked: "Can you do a Leo and Percy sassy bromance oneshot? With your writing and the sassiness it would be perf."

So I'm getting to my small pile of requests, and this would be the first of four upcoming requests. I'm sorry for the delay, but I hope you enjoy the story! It might be a little OOC, but I figure that very deep feelings are coming out all at once for Valdez and Aquaman over here.

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO

Dedication: To chaosstrutting

Take Two

Leo would totally have made it.

He'd stuffed a bag at random, but had managed to keep all of the essentials. Tool belt, spare pants, many socks, warmest hoody, water bottle, rope…

He wasn't sure what gave him away. When he snuck into the Argo II's hallway, even Coach Hedge was knocked out cold. The old goat was bleating in his sleep. After today's excitement, he was pretty sure that everyone was completely asleep. Nobody was guarding the ship anyways; they had their new mermaid friends (long story) doing that. The circumstances were perfect; there shouldn't be a single thing keeping Leo Valdez from making another one of his famous, child-services-feared escapes.

He stepped onto the deck. The wooden planks didn't creak so Leo ran across the deck. He was at the railing, with one leg swung over when he heard his name called out.

He turned and saw Percy.

Styx.

Percy walked over, and Leo didn't move or even think about moving. He was a deer caught in the headlights.

Percy sat on the railing too.

"Hey man," he said. "Out for a stroll under the moonlight?"

"Yeah, I like it." Leo said. "It's… Poetic."

"Poetic my ass," Percy said. "Where are you going, Leo? Why are you leaving?"

Leo didn't know what to say, his mouth hung open.

"I've had lots of time in Tartarus with Annabeth." Percy said. "She's told me a lot about everybody's background. I know that you run away from foster homes when things don't work out."

Leo gulped. "That makes me sound cowardly."

"I don't think it's cowardly. I respect leaving something bad than staying through it." Percy shrugged. "But I do think it's wrong to leave us in the middle of the night like this."

Leo swallowed. "Don't think that I want to for a second."

"Well what happened? Is it more drama with Hazel and Frank? Is Piper mad at you for something that you most likely deserved?" Percy asked.

"No, not even. Everything's going fine. All of that crap is solved and blown over."

"Are you scared for the final battle?" Percy asked. "Because if you are, then don't worry. I feel like throwing up on a 24/7 bases and Jason's lost the ability to communicate vocally. He wrote it down for me. And I swear on my life Annabeth's hair will be down tomorrow- that's a sign she's scared and feeling vulnerable, you'll see."

"Well if everyone becomes opposite-them when battle approaches, maybe I can become attractive."

"I don't think you get to make that choice," Percy said. "But seriously Leo is that what's wrong? Because if it is, know that you're not alone and let's get the heck back to bed."

"You haven't even slept in a bed for the last nine days, for the fall's length." Leo realised. Then he automatically felt a lot guiltier. "Gods... See, this is what I'm talking about!"

"What do you mean, what you're talking about?" Percy asked. "My sleeping patterns? Why the Hades is that interesting to you?"

"I'm more trouble than I'm worth," Leo said dropping his shoulders.

"What in the world is that supposed to mean?" Percy asked with a frown.

"Don't go and be the good kindergarten teacher," Leo said. "Don't be all happy and fair to everyone equally, it really doesn't work in the real world."

"Good I'm horrible with children. What are you talking about?" Percy asked. He looked legitimately concerned.

"How can you be so nice to me if it's not an act, man? It's basically me and my stupid fortune cookie's fault that you ended up in Tartarus, and Annabeth leg is even more busted than before, and I nearly killed Frank by bursting into flames this morning…"

"Don't blame yourself for everything," Percy sighed, "Especially not for the whole Tartarus thing. You had to crack those fortune cookies to save Hazel and Frank's lives, and that's worth more to both Annabeth and I than having nine days of total and absolute hell in actual hell. Anyways, that might have nothing to do with it at all. It was basically my destiny to fall into Tartarus. I always end up doing these things. Even Chiron wasn't that surprised when we IM'ed him earlier."

Leo bit his lips.

"And if you're worried about Frank? He has to learn to get used to fire. I'm not saying that you didn't scare him, and I'm not saying that it's okay, but you didn't do any harm Leo."

Leo looked at his hands.

"I burned down New Rome."

"Wrong," Percy said. "You burnt down part of New Rome."

"Well hell, that's not helpful!"

"Well it should be!" Percy said. "The Romans do that themselves on a weekly bases- drives Reyna and Jason crazy."

"But now they're marching on Camp…"

"If that's what it takes to snap everyone out of it, then that's what it takes." Percy said. "It would've happened either way, trust me, I've known Octavian longer. Jason has actual theories on how he would have done it. I can go wake him up if you'd like."

"But I made it so much easier and I made everything harder for Reyna…"

"Leo, drop that." Percy said. "That's not a valid thing to antagonise yourself about, Reyna's job was hell before she even heard your name. Next?"

Percy was treating this like Leo had all of his problems and hauntings and nightmares lined up in the back of his head.

Good thing he did.

But the next candidate wasn't something that Leo could say out loud.

Percy just starred on. The guy had a horrible attention span, but when you needed him to listen or when you needed someone to be on your side even if you wouldn't say it out loud… He was the guy to call, so it appeared.

"I think that you're more scared of going home than of going to war," Percy said getting up.

"What? That's ridiculous." Leo said.

"Leo we're teenagers who are half ancient Greek god on a flying boat that's hovering over China because our residential shape-shifter had to come full-circle with his heritage to open the gates of hell." Percy said. "Ridiculous can be found under the demigod dictionary 'it happened yesterday'. Being haunted, on the other hand…"

Leo twisted his hands together.

"She told me." Leo said. "She told me super clearly when I was young that I shouldn't use fire yet. Not until I met my dad, she said. Then I'd be old enough and strong enough to use it safely. She never said it was bad, she just said I wasn't ready. And look where that got her? Seven feet under, that's where."

"Leo…"

"I don't care if Gaia scared me into going all Prince Zuko that night," Leo snapped. "It's like when they say 'guns don't kill people, people kill people'. The gun kind-of helped a lot."

"Leo, you didn't even know what was going on, you were just a little kid…"

"I was a little kid who killed my own Mom!" Leo snapped. "Stop trying to make that sound okay!"

"I'm not trying to make that sound okay; I'm trying to make you hear the truth." Percy snapped back. "Trust me on this one: your mom would say the exact same thing."

"How do you know?" Leo asked.

"Because my mom did," Percy snapped at him impatiently. The second he said it Percy's energy drained. He got up and walked around the deck, hands dug into his hair.

"What do you mean?" Leo frowned.

"She married the sickest man you could imagine when I was little. He hit her. He took advantage of her. He threatened her. He scared her." Percy said. "He was sick. And do you know why she stayed with him for six years? Why she even looked at him? For me. He was so stinking human, he covered up my scent."

Leo didn't know what to say.

"But you know what Leo?" Percy said. "She made that choice herself, and she probably saved my life. She got rid of him herself. You can't just be guilty for what other people did, even if you're concerned- no matter if it's risking their life for you, giving their life for you, or using you to do something. And that's especially true when you're a demigod. Trust me; you'll end up being miserable if you do that. And right now man, you are kind of miserable."

Leo bit his lip.

"You have a point," Leo said.

"I know," Percy shrugged.

"But it's easier to make a point than to accept it, you self-assured diva." Leo finished.

"I know that too," Percy said.

"Wow, Annabeth's rubbing off. Maybe you'll become good looking, too."

"And that opens up the question of who the heck rubbed off on you so I can figure out how to kill it before it does more damage," Percy said. "And if that was you hitting on my girlfriend, I don't care how vulnerable of a moment you're having I will kill you three times."

He hated it being referred to as a 'weak moment'. One of his foster homes had a stupid 'weak moment' system. So when (for example) Leo was having a 'weak moment' everyone had to stay clear of his way and leave him alone and be supportive which Leo hated because the last thing you wanted to leave someone alone with once the dark, deep thoughts hit was those dark, deep thoughts.

"I know that you're scared because this is the first time that you've even considered giving someone or something a chance at being home since you ran away from your first," Percy asked. "I didn't feel so hot when my mom remarried either. But I swear it'll be okay, if you're just willing to give it your all and be honest with us. Because I'm telling you man, you've found the right people if you're planning on giving home a second shot."

"You really want me to give this group of misfits a second chance?"

"Like Home 2.0." Percy said.

"A take two," Leo said. He smirked for the first time that day since Percy's lame hell/fall/cliff jokes.

"There we go, that's the crazy Valdez." Percy said elbowing it. "How we platonically love you.

"Well," he stretched his hands over his head. "My work is done. Later, bro. I'll see you at breakfast."

Leo chose not to reply.

Percy didn't even walk Leo downstairs or chain him down to his bed or wake up the others to set up a guard perimeter at Leo's cabin door. He really thought that Leo was comfortable here. Or should be comfortable here.

Maybe Percy was right. The reason he still felt like he was being squeezed into the wrong puzzle was because guilt made a guy blow up twice in size and bent in crazy ways and ultimately lose it. Maybe he should give home a second chance, even if home would be on the Island of Misfit Toys with the crazy group of demigods called The Seven and some rough-around-the-edges steampunk siblings.

Home 2.0.

Take Two.