A/n: I'll be honest I'm not 100% sure Sherlock would do something like this, but I couldn't get it out of my head.

Sherlock and John

John was fidgeting next to him like a five year old who knew he was going to the doctor to get a shot. He was nervous and excited, and annoyed at the moment. Sherlock could see it in how John kept wringing his hands and he could feel in the tightness of his posture. Sherlock grinned over at him which only earned a scowl. As they settled into the cab, Sherlock turned to his partner.

"I'm sorry I went without you." Sherlock leaned into John's space hoping for a smile that would signal he was forgiven. John continued to stare out the window.

"You didn't need my permission." John's voice was calm. Sherlock could only detect a trace of anger under the surface. John had become very good at hiding his feelings when he wanted to, but Sherlock was learning how to read his attempts to conceal his feelings as well.

"Maybe I should have asked anyway," Sherlock suggested and cocked his head.

"Sherlock…" John groaned. "It doesn't matter. I was just worried when you didn't answer my calls or texts for several hours. That is not like you."

"You didn't notice last time."

"You went while I was at a medical conference in Cardiff." John grumbled. Sherlock scowled.

They sat in silence for a few minutes while the cab carried them back to Baker Street. Once they arrived and were back in the flat John went into the kitchen to make tea. Sherlock sat in his chair to watch John move about the kitchen.

"What did you get?" John asked finally with his back to Sherlock.

"I will show you the design when I remove the bandaging." Sherlock smirked. He wasn't forgiven, but John was curious and intrigued now. John turned and scowled at him.

"I hope you didn't do something stupid." John mumbled just loud enough for Sherlock to hear as he sat down opposite Sherlock in his chair in the living room.

"I'm sure your first tattoo was much more impulsive than this." Sherlock smirked. He, of course, was correct. At twenty John had spent a lot of money on a tattoo that wasn't quite as symbolic as the rest of them. The lion and rose had been destroyed a few months ago. The loss had been difficult for him and John rubbed the spot where the knife sunk in absentmindedly as Sherlock spoke.

"That's not the point." Sherlock stepped toward John to pull the worrying hand away from the scar. Sherlock hated to be reminded he hadn't been able to protect John.

"Then what is the point?" Sherlock sighed. Usually he could read John like an open book, but when he was being extra evasive, Sherlock had more trouble. John paused.

"I never thought you wanted tattoos. You don't care about your body like I do. You've made it clear you think of it just as transport. Why design it with something?"

"You worry I wouldn't put the same meaning into my designs and they will just be artwork rather than a significant representation of my life or moments in my life." Sherlock deduced. John's eyes snapped up and Sherlock knew he hit the nail on the head.

"Just tell me you didn't get a heart with your mother's name on your arm." John rubbed his forehead.

"If that was the case, I think it would be more appropriate to put your name in a heart." Sherlock chuckled at John's concerns. John just glared at him.

"Sherlock…" John's voice was a clear warning. He was being serious.

"Even though you hide your artwork, you have represented large amounts of your past and your soul on your skin. Sometimes I find it difficult to express emotions, especially ones involving you, therefore, I want to attempt this way." Sherlock explained. John scowled.

"You don't have to put permanent marks on your body to explain your emotions to me Sherlock. You find ways to explain them to me without that kind of step."

"They aren't for you John. They are for me. In planning this I have realized more about myself that I originally planned."

"Just tell me what it is." John begged. Sherlock just shook his head.

"I don't want to. You didn't let me see the design I created until it was finished. Describing it would not do the design justice."

"You know this isn't temporary. Whatever you've done…" John stopped when Sherlock glared at him.

"I am an adult John. I knew what I was getting into and I had been planning this a long time. I would think that tattoos are something we could agree about? It seems like you have an aversion to anyone else getting them. Why are you so worried about this?"

"I don't want you to feel like you have to get tattoos or something because I have them." John explained. "That wouldn't be the point of my art and you might resent me later if this doesn't work out the way you want." He paused. "We barely get along through breakfast some days. Sometimes we barely speak for days. If you put something about me on your body, I don't want you to regret that reminder later."

Sherlock's magnificent brain was sometimes entirely too slow. When it came to John, it seemed like it was always the case. He closed the distance between then before gently turning John's chin up with a finger. He captured the other man's mouth in a slow kiss. When they broke apart, John's eyes were wide.

"That is not going to happen. I cannot change the object of these emotions as easily as most people do. I'm afraid, John, that you may be stuck with me for life. Up to this point I've never meant anyone who could understand me and read me the way you can. My tribute to you may not be as strikingly loyal as yours is. Maybe someday I will do something similar. The moment I marked has everything and nothing to do with you." Sherlock explained. John's puzzled look was enough to make Sherlock lean in for another kiss before he pulled out of John's embrace.

"So this is why you've been wearing my shirts to bed. I thought you liked my detergent." John laughed a bit. Sherlock grinned.

"I didn't want you to see the design when it was only half finished." Sherlock smiled back.

They ate dinner in comfortable silence. Sherlock was worried about John's imminent reaction to his tattoo and John was thinking about each time he had added a tattoo to his collection. As John cleaned up, Sherlock slipped out to uncover his design and take care of it properly before John saw it.

John was sitting in his chair staring into space when Sherlock returned. John didn't look over at him until he was almost to the chair.

"This feels familiar." John smiled. Sherlock laughed when he remembered the first time he had seen John's violin tribute to him in a situation similar to this.

"Where?"

"Shoulder," Sherlock dropped down in front of John's chair with his legs crossed. He heard John gasp and he peaked over his right shoulder to see John's face.

"More birds." John's voice was amused. His face was filled with unease and awe.

"Always." Sherlock smiled trying to be reassuring. Sherlock unfolded the drawing of the design in his lap. On his right shoulder a transformation was occurring. A mechanical owl sat with a octopus's tentacles wrapped around one wing crushing it. Gears were falling off of the bird along with a few real feathers. In one talon the owl held a bleeding heart as the octopus reached for it. John could have covered the whole design with both his hands. It was quite small but detailed nonetheless. Sherlock watched John over his shoulder as the other man tried to puzzle out the meaning of the tattoo.

"The owl is mechanical." John stopped. He seemed to be concerned about it.

"Yes, but it is transforming. Just like me."

"Octopus? I don't know the symbolism." John laughed nervously. Sherlock recognized he was trying to change the subject and turned to look John in the eye. It took him a few moments to put the clues together. John stared back with worried eyes.

"You were not the only one to call me a machine John."

"I know…" Sherlock waited until he spoke again. "But it was the last thing I said before you were on the roof."

"I knew you were upset and frustrated so I understood. I didn't die."

"I didn't know that then," John reminded him softly. Sherlock reached for John's hand which he supplied. They sat in silence for a few moments until John signaled for Sherlock to turn around again.

"The octopus is a representation of mystery, illusion, reason and intelligence. I prefer to think of it as the darker part of my mind. The mechanical owl represents me and my attempt to be…" Sherlock trailed off.

"Sentimental." John suggested.

"Emotionally engaged." Sherlock added as he nodded. "The heart represents you. The cause of my transformation. The only reason I try."

"I didn't realize it was so difficult." John murmured as he continued to stare at the struggle represented in the tattoo. Sherlock turned around again.

"It's not always." Sherlock smiled and pulled John into another kiss before he stood again.

"You totally copied my idea though." John protested. "You have two animals that represent two parts of you that are fighting over a heart."

"The octopus is reaching for the heart out of desire for it. It is not fighting over it…" Sherlock argued.

"Yet. That is a slight distinction. It is not fighting over it YET." John objected laughing. Sherlock just shook his head while John continued to chuckle.

A/n: at least one more coming.