Chapter 1 – Ryu Hyabusa Can't Find His Stuff

Ryu Hyabusa, aka Super Ninja, last of the Hyabusa Clan was stressed out. He was running late for an important meeting with Ganryu all the way over in the Gizu prefecture. It was a good four hour drive from Tokyo, and he was still turning his place upside down looking for the keys to his bike and his pouch of ninpo gadgets. It didn't help matters that he was becoming progressively more distracted by a slowly escalating discussion with Ayane. She was very concerned about his choice to leave Gen Fu alone to watch his antique shop.

Ryu slid open the shoji to the bedroom closet and...

Where the hell is all my stuff?

It was full of Ayane's sheer, exotic, battle outfits left over from their days fighting for Tecmo Koei at the DOATEC tournaments. He ruffled through them impatiently pausing only occasionally hold up and examine…what? Another one of those impossible, fish net, clingy – neck-line plunging, body stocking, spiked booted, ninja-war-babe… – thingies.

Holy crap what th'… hell is…how did she even get that on?he wondered to himself.

Then, realizing he was becoming distracted again, he continued the search but found none of his stuff. The closet was just another dead end. He stood up in the middle of the room and looked around slowly, arms at his side slightly bent, palms out to the ceiling totally puzzled.

Ever since Ayane and Buddha had moved into his roof top apartment in the Moto-Azabu Hills' "Forest Tower", it was a constant struggle to find his crap. It's like she moved his stuff around on purpose...

No – thought Ryu, not on purpose, just… randomly.

It was a sort of chaotic kind of entropy that had invaded his once ordered domain. Purple satin tank tops draped on the bathroom door. Tie-dye butterfly t-shirts and headbands strewn across the tatamis in every room. That big friggin' gun of hers hanging in its custom holster over the shower curtain rod alongside underpants with cute animals and heart crap on them. Those amazing skin tight, black leather pants were wedged down the back of the futon cushions – just no rhyme or reason to any of it.

As the search for his things became more hopeless, Ayane's incessant verbal flood had been building slowly in its intensity about how leaving Gen Fu alone to watch the shop was a terrible idea.

His disciplined mind had been able to keep it to a general background static as he looked for his gear, but the tone was getting a little ominous. Ryu – was on his hands and knees peering under the tea table, when he decided to try and calm her down.

"Ayane, he can totally handle it." He said reaching for something – dark and crumpled.

"I'm only going to be gone for a couple days, and he's done it a million times! He's a huge antique buff – taught me everything I know – I don't see what..." Ayane interrupted –

"You have lots of valuable antiques in that shop, and Gen Fu is always showing off to customers! 'My fists haven't aged a bit! Duh! My fists haven't aged a bit!' and he never looks where he's swinging his fat, sausage limbs!"

Ryu normally enjoyed Ayane's impersonations and she always did a great Gen Fu. She could really nail his voice and mannerisms. But Ryu was currently busy groping behind the table trying to reach for... that... rumpled…thing – could it be his blue ninja suit?!

"Goddammit Ayane! How the hell did that get back there? Do you realize that Buddha's turned it into a bed? Look at all this friggin' cat hair! It will never come out!" Then as he was futilely plucking the white hairs out of the fabric of his battle garb he began noticing a dark stain… "And what's this stinky shi-"

"RYU!" Ayane burst in and gestured at him with that intimidating two finger pointing thing she always did...and there was that scary look in her eye which always got Ryu's attention. "Will you LOOK at me when I'm talking to you?"

Ryu sighed and rolled his eyes up at the ceiling being careful to keep his back to her so she couldn't see... then he turned to look at Ayane. She was a gorgeous little thing. She could be cute and endearing when she wanted to put that vibe out - but there was also something else. A deep, smokin', fierce nuclear holocaust type of presence crackling just under the surface that was dynamic and hinted of real power. Her eyes could grip your attention like a living thing and right now they were saying: "Don't F with me." She wasn't letting the Gen Fu topic go...

Ryu tried his most disarming smile and adopted a more reasonable tone – "Okay – look, I promise – it will be fine, for now. We can just talk about it later. Okay? I'll by you some uh, Hello Kitty stuff…"

That got her momentarily. Ayane liked Hello Kitty stuff… the comment made her pause thoughtfully as Ryu knew it would. She stood very still holding plump little Buddha. Petting his fat, head as it lolled happily on his zeppelin sized body…she cradled him on his back with one arm and with the other she was gracefully picking sardines out of a tray on the counter and was alternately dropping them down his greedy little gullet then tickling his enormous tummy as his legs pumped happily. Then cooing softly to him she repeated the process. Ryu stared at that for a while.

Buddha turned his head slowly and looked at him. His tongue slid gradually out of his mouth. It was almost as if…then, like a miniature fur covered Roman Emperor the great white cat lolled his head back, mouth gaping wide as Ayane cooed and slid another enormous sardine into the abyss.

Is that – even normal? Maybe I'm just…insane.

Ryu snapped out of his trance and tried to get back to the business at hand.

"Okay, so… I'm running late, and well – you know how Ganryu can get about stuff like that... I don't want to piss him off or anything… We may need his help against Hayashi's goons. He was really pissed when we broke with Tecmo in support of Itagake… Hey - it's not like Gen Fu's going to wreck the shop." His weak chuckle wasn't convincing.

Ayane was not mollified – "Normally you leave someone with him. How come not today? I'll tell you why - It's because you made a sudden last minute decision to go fishing with Ganryu - and not plan ahead."

"We're not just going to go fishing – I'm going to ask him about helping us with… you know – making a stand against Hyashi's thugs… and the spider clan… we also…" Ryu trailed off as he was scanning the apartment for keys and also the bag with all his gear. It wasn't in the trunk where he left it...

"RYU!" Ayane's voice ripped into his skull like an ice pick through the eye straight to the brain.

"GHOD - What?! Jeeezuz Ayane! I'm looking for my stuff – I'm late! Shit - What?"

Ayane continued without missing a beat. "How come you didn't leave Eliot with him like you usually do?" Ryu stopped and looked up incredulously...

"Eliot?! I thought you hated that kid! You always said he was such a kiss-ass goody two shoes sissy boy!?" Ayane was un-phased.

"He is. But he's a responsible, kiss-ass, goody two shoes, sissy boy and I want him in the store with Gen Fu! He's really the only one who can calm him down because he listens to all his dumb kung fu stories! Where he gets that kind of patience, I'll never know..." Absently rubbing Buddha's belly making him pump his stubby legs, she continued – "He also is courteous to the customers and has delicate, soft little hands and dusts the vases very carefully."

She continued to stroke Buddha's fat little tummy causing a frighteningly large watery burp to escape his obese body… "Good little Buddha…" She said softly putting him down. Then looking back up to Ryu –

"That's important Ryu! Your shop is important! We need to stay busy now that we are no longer with TK DOA tournaments. You also have to think about what you'll do after you kill off Hyashi's cowardly Spider Clan ninjas... and the filthy Yakuza they hide behind."

Then her eyes got scary wide and wild. She almost seemed to grow and glow in stature. With a deeply intense and venomous oath in the ancient Hachijōjima dialect she added – "…may the 3,769 furies devour their cowardly souls!"

Ryu felt a quick hot pulse ripple through the room and was, just a little freaked out by it. Then trying to sound casual he picked up the main thread of the conversation.

"Uh, yeah. So, slight problem – see – Eliot was out…" He knew she'd find this…amusing... "on a...date. With Kokoro."

Something had caught his eye – a glint on the table at the foot of the bed. As he was speaking, Ryu cursed softly to himself as he spotted his Dragon sword behind the flat screen TV. It's finely crafted hilt dangerously close to a three day old bowl of Fruity Pebbles – the soy milk a deep radioactive red/orange. With great care, he pulled his Dragon Sword out of the danger zone. Then flicking brightly colored socks and leotards from its ebony stand, tenderly settled the ancient weapon back in its place of honor and breathed a gentle sigh of relief.

"DATE!?" Ayane shrilled. The sudden adrenaline surge from the sonic pulse caused Ryu to spin around with superhuman speed, knocking the sword and stand clattering behind the TV table. Ayane kept right on going. "With Koko?! Ahahahahahah! By the gods what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall for that dirge! Maybe they'll get lucky and the corner booth at Arby's will be open!"

Ryu had to smile at that one – "What is it with that kid and his love for Arby's?" He wondered aloud, half to himself and half to Ayane. Then he realized the time – "Holy crap! Ayane – where's my stuff?!"

As if hearing him for the first time Ayane answered sweetly. "I don't know Ryu-Pu…"

A warm, wave of revusion hit Ryu who quickly covered it with a thin, saintly smile… "Ryu-Pu" was her baby name for him… He hated it, but to be honest about things – he was kind of scared to tell her...

"I never touch your things, you know that sweetums!"

Looking at her standing there in that tiny shimmery kimono – with the colorful little butterfly pattern… big innocent eyes – God, he almost believed her…

"What stuff are you looking for?"

"My..." Ryu was… confused, frustrated now, there's really so much stuff he still needed...to find… "...my uh – well, everything! All my ninja crap! The, the Vigoorian Flail for one thing, my poisoned caltrops – Ayane, those things are dangerous as hell - they shouldn't just be lying around...and, the uh – arrows that explode when they hit stuff – and my mask - "

Ayane pulled a rumpled, tea stained black rag that was being used as a hot pad under the rice pot on tea table and held it out triumphantly.

"No. NOT the black one, which is now ruined, I might add – the white one – I had a whole damn suit that went with it too. God, my junk is scattered…everywhere. My little uh, throwing things - "

"Shuriken." Ayane corrected - "Ryu-Pu, why do you even need all that? You're just going to be hanging out with stupid Ganryu."

Ryu was thoughtlessly cramming throwing stars, blow darts, smoke bombs, a handful of Ayane's purple hair bands and one of Buddha's squeaky toys (plastic cheeseburger) into his belt pouches in an effort to just get out on time. He found his keys, poking up out of the litter box. He pulled them out and brushed the dust off.

He said absently, "I always need those things – because, well I don't know...stuff might uh, go down. I'm the last of the Hyabusa Clan for a reason! I have to be prepared – I don't go anywhere unless I'm strapped and ready for anything. I may need that stuff, allof it, and – by the way – it all used to be in this bag..."

Ryu waved a black leather bag of exquisite craftsmanship accusingly in front of Ayane. It was sticky with remnants of a spilled soda...grape. There were sparkly butterfly, star and heart stickers on it.

"...right here! Now it's full of all your...uh,"

As he shook it, purple nail polish, lipstick, used multi-colored Kleenex, purple iPhone and plush animals slid out. After a pause, a tube of pink and purple glitter rolled out and spilled into Buddha's bowl of cream.

"...weird – shit."

He dropped the bag and lamely smiled. He realized the hopelessness of it all. "You're right my little…bread and butterfly. I'll go see stupid Ganryu now. I'm sure I don't need those deadly poisonous caltrops...watch where you step by the way." Then looking down at her little toes twinkling on the tatami mat said – "and you probably ought to put some shoes on..."

Ayane smiled. As Ryu went to leave he blew her a little kiss. Ayane pretended to catch it and put it safely in her pocket. As he headed down the hall to the elevator he thought – Gen Fu won't wreck the store…