Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. You know the drill.

o~O~o

It was a rainy day in Camelot, which was quite unusual given that no sinister plots had been launched against the kingdom in quite some time. Merlin was carrying Arthur's lunch towards his chambers in anticipation of the prince's return from his training when his foot slipped in a puddle of water and he quite spectacularly lost his balance. A few painful thumps later and he came to rest flat-out on his back at the bottom of a flight of stairs, the fragments of food he'd been carrying swimming in a rapidly-expanding pool of wine like little edible boats. Merlin groaned and pushed himself upright, wincing as a bolt of pain shot up his right arm; judging by the light bruise already forming around his wrist he'd sprained it when he impacted. Oh well. It wasn't going to stop him getting on with his day. Just as he reached to untie his neckerchief, intending to use it to soak up the liquid-y goo, a panicked cry filled the still afternoon air.

"Merlin!"

Merlin yelped in surprise as Arthur appeared suddenly beside him, his face a mask of worry and tears glittering in his cerulean eyes. "Oh gods, Merlin, are you hurt? Speak to me!"

"S-sire?" the manservant squeaked, confused beyond belief. Arthur shook him gently, then gasped in apparent anguish.

"Oh, no, I shouldn't do that; you're injured. Lie down, Merlin, we'll get you to Gaius …" With that he began trying to pull his manservant into his lap, to which Merlin responded by struggling wildly.

"Sire, please, I'm fine!"

"Merlin, please," Arthur all but wept, cradling his friend's raven-locked head close. "Don't injure yourself further."

Merlin was on the brink of calling for help when, as luck would have it, five of Arthur's most loyal knights – Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Leon and Percival – happened to stroll by, splattered in mud from their work-out in the rain. At the sight of them Merlin relaxed, a heartfelt "Thank gods you're here!" forming itself on his tongue as he prepared to call for their assistance. Unfortunately, it was a sentiment that dried up rapidly the moment the knights likewise dropped to their knees beside him and started fussing over him like he was some sort of damsel in distress.

"Merlin, what happened?"

"Who did this to you?"

"Oh gods, oh gods, it could be serious!"

"We need to get him back to Gaius before it's too late!"

It was all very overwhelming, especially when Gwaine pulled out his sword and levelled it at the puddle Merlin had slipped in, his face contorted by overprotective rage. Over the din Arthur bellowed some instructions and Merlin, much to his dismay, found himself thrown over Percival's shoulder in a fireman's lift; his chin bouncing off the knight's chainmail as the party hurtled towards Gaius' chambers. With each little impact part of a burning question formed itself in his mind; What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On?

Arthur kicked open the door to Gaius' chambers, frightening the old man something terrible as he knocked over the potion he'd been labouring over; its sticky emerald contents toppling over a nearby pile of books and soiling their covers. At the sight of Merlin, though, his wrinkled face morphed from one of exasperation into one of instant concern and shock, and as Percival laid the young bewildered man out on one of his mentor's tables Gaius bustled to his side, laying a hand on his Merlin's forehead and staring tenderly into his eyes. "Oh, my boy. What happened to you?"

Merlin blinked up at his mentor. "Oh, Gaius, not you as well!"

"Whoever did this should pay with their life," Gwaine growled, joined in chorus by murmurs of agreement from the other knights. Merlin tried to push away from Gaius as the man began poking and prodding him all over, fighting to make himself heard over the din.

"Everyone, I'm fine! It's just a sprained wrist, for gods' sake!"

In a heartbeat Arthur was at his side, palming the underside of his head whilst holding his gaze intently. Worry burned hot and strong in his eyes, like an open furnace tearing into a patch of fresh snow. "Merlin, what is it? What's the matter?"

Merlin struggled to find the right words to express his utter bamboozlement, only to be stopped in his attempt as Gaius held up the injured wrist and said, "Ah. Just as I feared."

Everyone in the room, Merlin included, said in unison, "What?"

"I'm afraid Merlin isn't out of the woods yet," Gaius explained gravely, his eyes never leaving his ward's, who blinked.

"Was I ever in them?"

"This bruising indicates an impact of some kind," Gaius continued grimly, "though as to what it could have been I don't know."

Merlin cleared his throat awkwardly. "Actually, it happened when I fell down a flight of –"

"Could it have been sorcery, Gaius?" Arthur said seriously, drawing Merlin a little closer in to his chest. The old man shrugged grimly.

"I cannot say for certain, but all the signs point to yes."

"What si –" Merlin began, only to cry "Ouch!" instead as Arthur dropped his head onto the table and strode determinedly towards the door.

"I must ride out immediately," Arthur said, shaking his head when his knights gathered loyally around him. "I must undertake this perilous journey alone; it is better you stay and guard Merlin with your lives. For all we know, the perpetrator could try to harm him again."

They all nodded seriously and retreated to Merlin's side, leaving Arthur to stride out into the dark gloom of the corridor. With an exasperated cry Merlin sat up and made to follow him, only to have six restraining pairs of hands push him back down onto the table.

"Merlin, mate, you need to rest …"

"Arthur will be fine, he's stronger than you think …"

"Here, my boy, drink this tonic; you'll feel better …"

That was when something snapped. Merlin's magic suddenly exploded from him in a wave of golden energy, knocking the startled knights painlessly back against the surrounding tables as if they were no heavier than paper dolls. While they stood blinking in surprise and a mild degree of hurt Merlin seized the opportunity to dash out of Gaius' chambers and after Arthur.

He found the man levelling his sword, as Gwaine had done, at the puddle in which Merlin had slipped earlier. It twinkled innocently in the grey light of the rainy afternoon. "This ends here. No one is allowed to harm my manservant but me, and given that you broke that rule (and possibly used sorcery in the process) I have no choice but to kill you!"

"Arthur," Merlin said, taking a few measured steps towards his prince. He held one arm, his left, aloft, to prevent the situation from becoming pointlessly violent if he could. The prince started and looked around, his eyes widening in surprise when he gleaned the speaker.

"Merlin! Oh, gods, you shouldn't be up and about; not so soon!" He made for his manservant, still looking back over his shoulder at the puddle and waving the sword's point threateningly at it. "Just you wait …"

"Oh, for crying out –"

Merlin's eyes glowed golden as his magic heated the air above the puddle, forcing it to evaporate. Arthur froze in mute horror, his head snapping round to Merlin just as the latter's irises faded back to blue; his mouth falling comically open as if he were a goldfish brought suddenly forth from its watery domain. Merlin blinked, the implications of what he'd just done hitting him rather hard. Arthur had seen. Arthur knew he had magic.

Oh, gods.

"Merlin, did you just … was that m-magic?" the prince stammered, looking quite as if he didn't know how to compose himself. Merlin sighed and dragged a hand down his face, half expecting the prince to run him through. Honestly, of all the people in Britain, why did he have to be the one singled out for such a weird destiny?

"Yes, it was," he said slowly, carefully, "but you forced me into it you kn -"

"Did I hear the word magic?"

Both men froze, Merlin mid-sentence, as Uther arrived suddenly on the scene; both his pale green eyes fixed furiously on Merlin's suddenly wan countenance. "Magic?" he hissed, making to draw his sword. Arthur surprised both king and warlock by darting in between the two, holding a hand out to his father.

"Father, no. Merlin used his magic for the good of the kingdom, to defeat an evil sorcerer that had taken the form of a puddle." He gestured the damp area where the puddle had been. "He has saved us all."

Dumbfounded, and yet not wanting to betray himself unnecessarily, Merlin nodded mutely. Uther glared at him for a few moments more before sighing and sheathing his sword, proclaiming, "Well, I have been forced today to see that not all sorcerers are evil." He clapped the young warlock on the shoulder. "You shall be promoted instantly to Court Sorcerer, and the ban on magic shall be repealed. Thank you for allowing me to see the errors of my ways."

He turned and strode off then, Arthur following, leaving Merlin standing in the middle of a deserted corridor with his mouth hanging wide open. The young warlock shook his head dumbly, a concise question that summed up all that had just happened forming on the tip of his tongue.

"… What the hell?"

THE END

o~O~o

A/N:

I realise this is vaguely – no, completely – crackish, but I've had my fill of depressing post-S5 fics for now and thought I'd do something a bit more common; i.e. the typical Merlin whump style fic in which Arthur is worried, Merlin's magic is revealed and everyone's just so chill with it (Uther included); all in the space of about five minutes. Given that it's currently midnight I didn't want to go the whole hog and write out a genuine one, so I figured a humour piece might be in order. And somehow I can see this whole scenario playing out; it's very S1/S2/S3-esque. It was partly inspired by Emachinescat's fic "To Write a Fan Fiction", which is an excellently funny read that I would totally recommend.

Constructive criticism and reviews are as welcome as unexpected hugs. Hope everyone enjoyed the New Year; I had a total blast with my Pillow Pets and the people from a few doors down. They were nice enough to turn their music up loud enough so that I could feel included in the festivities. Isn't that thoughtful?