Joss stared at him as she gently tugged John into her room only pausing to turn the light on wanting to see everything. She felt nervous, and excited at the same time. She had sex before in her life, but for some reason this right now right here felt different. It felt like she was a virgin all over again. His blue eyes caressed her face as if memorizing it, and their hands linked together was their only touch. She needed more. Joss reached up to his broad shoulders gently pushing his charcoal colored suit jacket to the floor. She never broke eye contact as she began slowly unbuttoning his shirt. His lips slowly curved in a small smile as he kicked his shoes then socks off, and she followed with her own slippers.

She had gotten half of his shirt undone when he leaned down brushing his soft lips against hers, and she fumbled with the last few buttons abandoning them to wrap her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss. She sighed when the backs of her knees hit the edge of her mattress, and she immediately climbed on with John following her never breaking the kiss. He stretched out on top of her, and she welcomed the weight spreading her legs apart to feel him nestle himself between them exactly where she wanted him to be. She moaned when he moved just a bit pressing his erection more fully against her his tongue slipping between her open lips caressing hers. Her hands slid down his body, and grabbed his nice ass. He broke the kiss to sit back on his haunches.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" she demanded sitting up with him. He wasn't about to leave again, or she would kill him! His lips lifted into another smile, but instead of answering her he slowly finished unbuttoning his shirt so he could shrug it off leaving his stark white t-shirt that hid his incredible bod from her view. She smiled as she reached for the hem of her own t-shirt lifting it up, and off of her throwing it with the growing pile of clothing. She hid a smile at the look on his face as his gaze was at her light pink lacy bra. "John get rid of your damn shirt!" he blinked rapidly as if coming out of a trance so she reached yanking his shirt up and over his head. She sighed. This was different from earlier. She was getting to touch him as a lover rather then just as a friend trying to relax him. She shoved him till he laid on his back staring up at her.

"This feels like déjà vu." he chuckled when she lifted her right leg to straddle him. Her eyes shut at the feeling of him pressing at her once again. She was going to explore every inch of his body regardless if it was going to kill her. Her body was overheating as it was, and she loved nothing more then rid herself, and him of the rest of their clothing so they could sate each other's bodies. But she might never get another chance to be with him, and she was going to take full advantage of tonight. She began running her fingertips across his body again much like earlier, but this time she followed her trail with her mouth. He felt rigid beneath her, and his erection was hard and straining between her legs. When her fingers brushed over a gunshot scar she watched him silently as she traced the scar with his tongue. He shuddered beneath her as she repeated the action with each scar she found on his body. Tears burned at the backs of her eyes knowing she was the cause of one of these newer scars.

"I'm so sorry John." she whispered kissing her way back up his wide expanse of his chest to slowly kiss his mouth. He pushed back staring up at her questioningly. "For being the one that gave you one of these new scars."

"Stop." he quickly rolled them over, and she found herself pinned beneath him. "They knew what to say to get what they wanted."

"But I…" she didn't get to finish the rest of her words because he was kissing her passionately again. His mouth was hard, but yet gentle at the same time. His fingers skimmed down, and brushed the sides of her breasts causing her to gasp into his mouth. He pulled back leaning his forehead against hers staring into her eyes.

"May I?"

"Hmmmm?" her body felt like it was burning alive. Between her legs felt hot, wet, and throbbing madly for him. She didn't know what he was asking all cognitive thoughts were slowly but surely fading. He slipped a finger down her sternum between the valley of her breasts, but never touched her where her body craved him.

"May I?" he repeated. She nodded her head wondering how he could ever think he was a monster. He was asking permission to touch her. Maybe things he's done in his past were bad, but he wasn't a monster. Instead he was a man with a deep seeded pain that was trying to destroy him. Tonight she was going to teach him that fundamental difference because she was going to show him it was alright to feel again. She couldn't force the word out so she just shook her head yes if he didn't touch her soon she was going to die from anticipation. He slowly lowered his hands and gently cupped her breasts, and his thumbs rubbed across her nipples through the fabric. She sighed leaning her head back against her pillows, and arching her back so she could press herself more in his hands. She needed this bra off. Joss leaned upwards sighing when her breasts filled his hands more, and she reached around her back unclasping her bra allowing it to loosen.

John stopped touching her for only the briefest moment to throw her bra to the floor, and his hands resumed touching her. "Beautiful." he whispered as his thumbs were taking great care brushing her hardened nipples while his palms cupped her. His mouth was now at her neck softly kissing her. She felt him do a figure eight with his tongue just where her neck connected to her shoulder, and her entire body shivered at the contact. Shit it was like he was intuned with her body as if he knew she loved that. Her hands landed on his hard shoulder blades moaning his name as he pinched her nipples hard between his thumbs and index fingers.

He nibbled his way back up her neck, stopping to kiss her for a moment then began kissing, and licking his way back down. Her hands fell into his short hair loving the softness to it. His tongue trailed a wet line to one breast. He swirled his tongue around the areola teasingly making her moan, and clench his hair tightly in her grasp her nails digging into his scalp. The bastard had the nerve to chuckle against her, and she was about to yell at him when he finally brushed not once but twice her nipple with his tongue. Her back arched high off the bed his name was a sigh from her lips as he kept up the almost playful way he was nipping at her breast.

"John please." she moaned for him to stop teasing her when he sat back a bit just to kiss his way over to her other breast. John seemed to sense she needed more as his licked, then sucked hard on her other nipple while pinching hard at the abandoned one that had just received the glorious touch of his mouth. She wrapped her legs around his waist grinding up into him as he gently bit down on her hardened peak. Her hands skimmed down his body between her legs, and began deftly unbuttoning his pants needing to get into them almost as she needed to breathe.

"Stop Joss wait." he moaned his hands stopping her.

"No." it became a struggle to get into his pants his hands trying to stop hers while hers tried to push his out of the way. But he was stronger then she was he grabbed both of her hands, and pinned them above her head with just one of his. He skimmed his other hand down her body causing fire to spike wherever he touched. "John." she tugged at her hands feeling him tighten his hold on them. He smiled down at her while his free hand ran from her one hip across her flat belly to her other hip. She tugged harder wishing she could take him by surprise, but his hold was like a death grip. Joss lifted her hips off the bed arching them high into his pelvis eliciting a moan from him as she ground into his hardness. "Damn it John I want to touch you too."

"Joss I don't have any protection." he whispered near her ear. "So tonight is just for you." she closed her eyes as his tongue licked at her earlobe, and then he gently tugged on it with his teeth while his free hand began undoing her jeans. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt her waistband loosen and the distinct sound of her zipper being lowered. But what he said finally made it through her passion filled foggy brain.

"John, as much as I appreciate the thought I-oh…" she stopped on a moan when he sneaked his hand into her jeans under the elastic of her panties. The tips of his fingers were slowly making their way to where she needed him the most. "…I have protection." she forced out as her body jerked as another moan escaped her when she felt him touch her intimately. His teasing touch stopped as he stared down at her blinking.

"You have protection?"

"Yes, my friend-" she stopped as she gasped struggling to regulate her breathing. "-got me condoms for my birthday saying I needed a sex life." she felt like she was dying with his hand resting just above where she was throbbing for him. "In the nightstand." he withdrew his hand from between her legs and she wanted to groan in protest, but she felt his hand against hers loosen as he was reaching over, and she took her advantage. She tugged her hands free rolling them over pinning his hands above his head. He stared up at her with a wicked smile.

"You know I can easily overtake you Joss."

"I know but that's why you are going to willingly let me put my cuffs on you." she said using all her might, and power at holding his hands down to the bed. His eyes darkened. "please." she whispered in his ear. He nodded his head curtly, and she quietly grabbed the cuffs locking the first hand then wrapped the pair of bracelets around the wooden headboard finally to cuff his other hand. "Thank you John for trusting in me." she whispered pausing to reward him by kissing the stuffing out of him. She pushed back eyeing him from her perch on top of him.

"Joss…" he tugged on the cuffs slightly as if trying to see if he could get out of them, and she knew without a doubt he could. But he wouldn't. She watched him with soft eyes knowing he didn't like not being in control, but gave in to her just this once which made her feel amazing inside. She leaned over, and opened the draw on her nightstand quickly rummaging through it to find the box of condoms. She pulled them out holding them up as if they were a prize.

"I definitely have to remember to thank my friend for these."

"Joss when will you uncuff me?" he was already squirming in the hold.

She put the condoms on the bed next to them. "Not until I have some fun of my own, and knowing you I won't get to have my fill of touching your delectable body." she grinned. "Am I right its all about me? You'd touch me make me crazy with need, but the moment that comes for me to touch you to reciprocate is the moment you take me making me forget I never got to touch or caress you?" she whispered her own words causing the ache between her legs to intensify. Having him inside her sounded like heaven, but she wanted so much more then John pleasuring her. She wanted to pleasure him too. Tonight was for them both, and she was determined to make him need her as much as she needed him.

"Joss." his tone was a warning but she didn't care nor listen.

"Answer me John.

"Joss I can't…" he paused his blue eyes glittering up at her. His expression that was normally masked wasn't. He wasn't used to letting go as if it was foreign concept to him. She, however, couldn't let him out of the cuffs just yet even if his soulful blue eyes plead with her. His actions were always controlled never doing anything before thinking about it first. Well she wanted him to just react, to feel, and not think.

"You can't what John?" she asked conversationally as she leaned down brushing her mouth against his stubble lined chin. She felt him tug against the cuffs again, but didn't answer her. "You can't lose control?" she whispered before capturing his mouth with hers. She leaned down her breasts rubbing at his bare chest gasping into his mouth loving the feel of his skin touching her own. She broke the kiss to pepper butterfly kisses across his cheek then gently tugging on his earlobe earning a sigh out of him. She eased herself off of him standing beside the bed. She eyed him as she pushed her jeans down her hips, and kicked them off standing in her pale pink panties. His eyes followed staring at each inch of exposed skin she showed him. Her panties felt soaked, but she wasn't about to end the nice exploration of his body. She had plenty of him left to kiss, and love. Her eyes zeroed in on his crotch where his dress pants were tented upwards.

"Time to let him out to play." she chuckled climbing back on the bed he groaned staring at her as she crawled towards him. He flung his head back onto her pillow.

"Damn Joss you are killing me." his stomach muscles bunched as she slid just her fingers under the waistband of his dress pants to unbutton them.

"Good."

"Now will you uncuff me you had your fun."

"No."

"JOSS!" he growled and she grinned as he wrenched his hands hard against the cuffs. She loved angering him knowing that she was the one in control until she let him out of his cuffs. She wanted him to act on his instinct, and if that meant pissing him off while she took enjoyment in pleasuring him then so be it.

"If you're a good boy I might think of letting you out." she smiled devilishly when he cursed at her. But she eyed between his legs at the zipper slowly pulling it down loving the sound. She shimmed back knowing he was getting a nice view of her breasts jumping. She grabbed the loosened fabric tugging downwards till he was free of his pants leaving him in those same boxer-briefs. "Do you always wear boxer-briefs?" she whispered feeling the hot achy feeling between her legs intensify tenfold as she stared between his legs. She slipped her fingertips under the elastic proceeding to pull them down till finally his cock sprung free of its prison. She threw his underwear over her shoulder not looking away as she stared at his glorious erection.

"No." he jumped when she put her hands high on his thighs, and began massaging the muscles there her eyes never leaving his cock. It was very erect for her. She knew that John hadn't been with a woman in a while, so she had to take her time with this or it wouldn't last very long. She wanted to make sure he had a general understanding that even though he said just tonight she was betting for more. "Will you look up?" he sighed and she finally pulled her gaze away from him. His eyes were dark with desire. "Please uncuff me Joss so I can be inside you." She shook her head not sure when or if she would ever get the chance to be with John again, and she was going to experience everything. She brushed him with her fingers loving the way he tensed. She leaned over him brushing her lips against his own then followed a straight path downwards dipping her tongue for only a moment into his navel all the while listening to the soft cling of metal against wood. "Joss don't…" knowing full well what she intended.

She answered him with wrapping one of her hands around his throbbing cock. He jackknifed in bed his body jerking, and he moaned harshly. She watched him through her lashes as she stroked him lightly with her fist starting at the tip going down to the base just to go back up again. His body fell back to the mattress, and she looked up into his face seeing the pleasure in his eyes. He was so hot, so hard, and rigid but yet smooth at the same time. Such contradictions but just touching him wasn't enough. She licked her lips haven't having done this in a while, but wanting too with him. She wasn't sure if cock teasing him was a good idea or not, but right about now it didn't matter. He would get even with her she knew later, but she wanted him to feel. She wanted him to lose that precious hold on his control.

Joss eyed him before leaning down to his throbbing shaft darting her tongue out gliding it against the tip of his cock, and listening to the guttural groan of her name that sounded ripped from his throat. She traced the slit as she rested a hand against his stomach while the other held him steady for her. She pulled back, and gave his tip a sweet little kiss before leaning down to rub the underside of his penis with her tongue. His hips twisted a little silently begging for more while his words begged for her to let him go.

"Is there something you want John?" she asked grinning from her seat between his legs her mouth inches from his straining cock. She opened her mouth wide as she engulfed as much of his thick, and long cock as she could using her hand for the little she couldn't. Joss's mouth moved upwards, and her hand followed she flicked his tip with her tongue just before she descended back down his length. John's groans were music to her ears as she continued licking, and stroking him. She paused dragging in ragged breaths taking a moment to rub her tongue against his tip loving the salty taste of fluid gathered there knowing he was growing close.

"Stop please Joss." his tone was curt, clipped, his body was tense, and his cock twitched against her cheek as she took a moment to gather some air. She closed hers shaking her head no, and kissed his pelvic bone before taking just the tip of him back into her mouth. Her eyes were on his as he stared down at her. His breathing was coming out ragged through his nostrils his blue eyes were dark blue orbs as his desire increased. She sucked gently at first watching his head fling back letting out a loud groan of her name as if pleading with her. She sucked harder as she took more of him in her mouth his hips bucking up asking for more. She heard him yanking hard at the cuffs. "Off! Get these fucking things off NOW." he growled.

She sat back her eyes widening as his body strained as he pulled his hands away from the headboard. The muscles in his arms were bulging, and she could see bruises already forming on his wrists. He was going to hurt himself if he didn't get out of them. She grabbed the key, and reached up stopping for a moment when he caught a breast into his mouth. His mouth wasn't gentle his teeth grasped her nipple between his two front teeth and his front four lower biting on it, then blowing his hot breath against it to soothe her. She put a hand into his hair. He pushed back. She remembered what she was supposed to be doing, and reached up uncuffing him.

She was flat on her back in mere seconds his hands roaming her body stroking caressing every inch of her body. She felt his hands at her panties tugging them down without reservation. John kissed her as he slipped one, then a second finger into her. Her hands collided with his shoulders as his tongue slipped between her open lips. She moaned pushing out of the kiss as her body arched off the bed as his thumb began gently rubbing her clitoris as he plunged his fingers in, and out of her mimicking what he was soon going to do with his cock. She felt like a coil spring inside her was tightening with each thrust of his fingers inside her. His gentle rubbing at her clit became a bit rougher, and her legs spread wide apart feeling like she was going to explode any second.

"I can't wait." he shuddered, and she loved it. He stopped touching her for only a minute and she missed his touch, but she was happy she had gotten him to let go. Not totally but he wasn't so in control anymore which she was reaping the rewards from. He tore into the foil packet rolling the condom on nudging her legs wide apart positioning himself. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head when she felt his hard tip at her wet entrance. She grasped at his shoulders needing him inside her now.

"John." she moaned as her head thrashed a bit on the pillow when he began rubbing himself at her entrance teasing her. She felt his breath against her ear.

"Joss I am going to fuck you so hard you see stars." he whispered in her ear, and then suddenly he rammed himself into her fully. She let out a startled cry as her body squirmed to get away from the sudden fullness. She was on the threshold between pleasure and pain. He was big, and he stretched her wide but he wasn't moving as if allowing her time to adjust to him. She opened her eyes when it became not enough to merely be joined with him. She couldn't think of anything to say that sounded sexy, but it didn't matter because he was slowly pulling out to plunge back into her hard.

All John saw was her, all he could feel was Joss. His eyes watched her own impassioned face as she twisted the bed sheet beneath her into her fists as he began riding her. He wasn't gentle he couldn't be the swirling emotions in him was taking over. All he knew was he needed this more then anything before. He ran his hand across her dark body loving the contrast between his skin to hers. John continued ramming into her mercilessly knowing she loved it by her moans, and the way her body tightened growing closer to the edge of the abyss they both wanted to jump over. His hands slid down cupping her ass lifting gently changing the angle ever so slightly, but enough to hit deeper then before. Her nails clawed at his back harshly as she cried his name out. He leaned his head against her chest as he concentrated hard on thrusting his penis in and out of her as hard, and as fast as he could go. She was so damn slick, so hot, so perfect he couldn't get enough of her. John felt her body shudder under his hands, and he felt her inner walls begin to clamp onto his straining cock. He listened to the loud cry of his name as her body stiffened under his not knowing how much longer he could hold off his own orgasm.

John was right she was seeing stars as her entire body felt like it was on fire. Her sex was tingling, and quivering as each spasm of her orgasm filled her. She heard John's moans felt him growing closer to his own orgasm. But he leaned back grabbing her hips with his hands lifting her slightly so only her back laid on the bed, and her hips were fully off driving into over and over again. His thrusts sent her body soaring again as the tension that had just eased tightened up as she dug her heels into the mattress using any sort of leverage to push him into her as deep as possible. She sobbed his name when his hands let go of her hips one splayed across her lower back his fingers resting near her butt holding her up, and his other hand slipped between her legs to rub her swollen clitoris.

"JOHN!" she felt like her body turned inside out as her entire body convulsed against his as her second orgasm in a matter of minutes ripped through her. Her body felt suspended in air as the pleasure stormed her center flowing from her sex to her toes then all the way up to the roots of her hair. Every inch of her body felt alive, and hot. When the last tremor faded was when she heard his harsh groans of her name the bucking of his hips letting her know he was on the brink of his own orgasm. She clenched her inner muscles hard feeling his hands digging into her sweat slicked hips. John stiffened as he slammed his cock into her one last ferocious time sending him right over the edge his orgasm crashing into him. She watched the way his orgasm overtook him her name was a loud shout, his mouth slack, and his body taut. When it was finally over his eyes opened a bit and he slumped against her as they both struggled to breathe. She welcomed his weight wrapping her legs, and arms around him not ready to let him go yet.

"J-Joss." he stuttered dragging in gulps of air.

"Shhhhhh not now." she whispered not ready to allow him to regret tonight. She just wanted to lay with him and never let him go.

Author's note: So I hope you enjoyed this chapter as this is my first real attempt at publishing any sort of smut. Which I hope wasn't too bad! If you enjoyed this story I am working on a sequel that goes along with this one that will have more angst, more smut(unless of course my smut writing skills are nonexistent which I am relying on you guys to let me know if I should just cease and desist or continue trying), and mystery to the next story it won't just be a smutterrific filled story!

So anyways thanks for reading, and all the wonderful reviews and everything you guys really do rock!