Not So Good Absolutely Safe Capsule 4

Disclaimer: You know damn well

BEGIN!

"You're probably thinking to yourself, 'Yeah right. There's no such thing as absolutely safe.' But there is! And this is it! The capsule I tricked Dr. Andonuts and the Mr. Saturns into making for me! Me! ME! All Me! *cough, cough*" The Pig King, Master Porky Minch sealed himself inside the Absolutely Safe Capsule.

Boney attacked the Capsule, but it appeared to not have a scratch. Duster threw a Super Bomb, but the Absolutely Safe Capsule made it without a dent. Kumatora and Lucas tried there ultimate attacks, PK Starstorm and PK Love Omega, but the Capsule seemed to have suffered no physical damage. Porky, seeing how his machine was truly invincible, decided to just lie there, and enjoy as the 4 idiots tried to attack him. After the 2nd attempt, he began to stick his tongue out at them.

"Oh my. What do we have here?" asked Andonuts as he climbed up the ladder. "You know, as evil as old Porky is, I can't help but feel bad for him." He walked up to the capsule, and explained, "It is true that the capsule was built to withstand any attacks. It truly IS an Absolutely Safe Capsule, but once you enter it, you can never come out. The capsule was built not only to protect the person inside from anything on the outside, but more so to protect anything outside from the person inside. And now, Porky can do nothing but live forever, all alone in absolute safety. You know, in a way, maybe he got exactly what he wanted. What do you think? Is it wrong of me to think like this?"

Lucas simply shook his head no. Nobody really knew the true motives for Porky's dastardly plots. But none of that really mattered now. Whatever his motives truly were, he would never be able to see whether they are executed or not. He was trapped for all eternity. He tolled Andonuts that he could think whatever he wanted, and that it wasn't wrong.

"You think so?" he asked. "I wonder… I can't help but feel it is…"

The moment of silence was only broken when they heard Porky's voice say, "Hm… I wonder what this button does!" The next thing they knew, the capsule was beginning to beep loudly, and there was a flashing red light coming from the inside.

"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE SELF-DESTRUCTION BUTTON." said a female computer device. "THIS CAPSULE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN EXACTLY 2 MINUTES." Flint only looked at Dr. Andonuts in shock.

"You built a self-destruct mechanism, a mechanism to blow the capsule up and the person inside it, in what is supposed to be a capsule that is absolutely safe?" he asked.

Dr. Andonuts looked at the capsule. "I sort of thought he would have known since it was his capsule and not be a big idiot and press it. I wasn't being a douchebag and intentionally wanting him to press it."

The capsule then said, "THIS CAPSULE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 1 MINUTE 45 SECONDS. WHOEVER BUILT A SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON IN AN 'ABSOLUTELY SAFE' CAPSULE IS A REALLY HUGE DUMBASS."

After 30 seconds of silence, Lucas and co. finally got the good idea to run. Everyone ran out of the cave, and on the landing deck of New Pork City. Right when they sat down, a thunderous boom sounded. The entire earth shook, as volcanoes erupted, tornadoes appearing seemingly out of nowhere, and the entire ground itself was splitting apart. As the Masked Man went to grab the 7th Needle, a rock came, and crushed the Needle, preventing him from pulling it out. "…That's it. I quit." He said as he walked for the exit of the cave. The result of the Absolutely Safe Capsule's self-destruction, known now only as the 'Absolutely Destructive Boom', wasn't as devastating as what would happen if all 7 Needles were removed, but it still scarred Nowhere Island. After the whole epidemic was done, everybody could have sworn they heard an old man's voice from underground.

"…That old fag is so fired."

Q: I do not think anyone, not even Porky, deserves to be trapped in a capsule to starve to death and not be able to die. I just hope the Capsule was built to provide food for his fat ass. Do you think Porky deserved to be trapped in the Absolutely Safe Capsule for all eternity? (Fuck you Andonuts! You trapped my favorite MOTHER character for all eternity!)