M'gann is lost.

All her life, she has used her mind to communicate with her kind on Mars. It was more than the main means of everyday conversation; it was the purest form of relaying thoughts, feelings, and emotions that mere words could never hope to describe. On Earth, her mind was seen as an invaluable tool to the team she now calls family, and it is her mind that has meant the difference between life and death on several occasions. It is her priceless gift that has given her a sense of purpose, and has made her feel needed.

She has peered into enough minds to know more about humanity than any human will ever know. She knows their love and their strength, their passion and their capacity for good, but she also knows that the human mind can be the darkest place imaginable - full of hatred and fear and twisted to the point of madness. She has seen terrible things in her years on Earth, but the good she has encountered is what helps her hold on to the hope that the light can overcome the dark.

But her mind is not just a relay device. It's not just a tool or a secret weapon or even something as simple a description as a "power." Her mind is a sanctuary – the one place she can completely disappear into, where no one can enter unwanted and no one can bring her out. It is the place she feels the safest and the most secure of who she is.

And she is locked out.

Two days have passed since the rescue mission, and M'gann has spent them in a thick, impenetrable haze. Her mind is cloudy, unfamiliar, unsettling. She wanders like a lost child, alternating between frantically stumbling into the nothing, and aimlessly slipping further and further in a daze almost as thick as the mist itself. She knows her mind like a well-lived room, every intricate detail ingrained, a map to the very core of what makes M'gann, "M'gann." But now, this place – her place, is unrecognizable. Foreign – as if it isn't even hers at all. It is more than frightening. For a Martian, to lose one's mind is the equivalent of death.

M'gann knows she is not there yet. She has heard enough stories to know when she will reach the pinnacle of a Martian breakdown. The panic has been severe, blinding and intense, but she has been able to pull herself out of it, however brief the respite. The fog is a sign that she is not yet in purgatory, the closest Earthly word that translates the original Martian term. It is the Martian equivalent of Hell – when all sense and knowledge of who you are is completely lost. You cease to remember everything about your life - your friends, your family, even your own name. The slate isn't just wiped clean – the slate itself is shattered, the pieces ground to dust and blown away in the wind. You don't exist. You never existed at all. You are eclipsed by total darkness, and then even darkness loses its meaning.

The fog is a sign with a double meaning. She has not sunken into insanity – but she is close.

After the destruction , the Team relocated to the Justice League's base on Earth, the Hall of Justice. For most of them, the Hall just became the new, temporary meeting place to strategize, train, and receive orders. But to M'gann, Garfield, and Conner, the Hall became their new home with absolutely none of the .Justicehad been their real home - M'gann's earthly,Garfield's adoptive, and the only home Conner had ever known. To them, the Hall was a poor replacement for what they had lost, and the temporarity that hung in the air was a frequent reminder not to let themselves get attached, lest they be brutally uprooted once again.

It was for this reason that M'gann spent the majority of her time high up in the clouds over the Hall, safely ensconced in her camouflaged bio-ship. The Hall felt too crowded, which was ridiculous since it was just the three of them and the occasional League member, but the place was so vast that she couldn't imagine crossing their paths throughout the course of the day. Even so, she needed to be someplace familiar if she was to find herself again, and she needed to be alone. The silence was both a blessing and a curse. M'gann was constantly toeing the line between craving the quiet and feeling just within reach of herself after hours of self mind-probing, and feelings of panic that took over when the pieces slipped away once more and the silence became suffocating. It was a cycle she had been caught in from the moment she had read Aqualad's mind and found the truth, and she felt more and more of her sanity slipping away after each failed attempt to piece herself back together.

M'gann was curled into a tight ball on the floor; her eyes tightly shut and sweat glistening on her brow. Her face was a pale, sickly green, and her teeth were clenched together in pain. Soft whimpers of sound escaped every so often, and her cheeks were damp with tears. She had been battling her own mind for over two hours straight, and she was exhausted and frustrated and more afraid than ever. The fog that usually greeted her as soon as she began to venture had now been preceded by a new symptom - utter chaos. Blinding lights with impossibly bright colors, flickering at speeds that increased with each passing second, jagged lightning-bolt shaped lines that seemed to slice through her brain like knives, tremors she could feel beneath her feet and turning her limbs to jelly, all while the world around her spun like a carousel; up and down and around and around and sideways and backwards and round, round, round –

And the sounds… the sounds only added to her horror. Shrill screams that pierced her eardrums, the roar of a wall of fire that grew taller and became a pillar with her in the center, the ticking of a giant clock, the seconds that grew louder and louder until she could feel her bones vibrate with each tick.

And then came the worst part – a black figure emerging from the center of the wreckage, crawling on hands and knees and flickering in different shapes and sizes, as if it couldn't decide who it wanted to be. Its eyes glowed red and when it came upon her, it was both her Martian and Earth faces that stared back, grotesquely merged together on a body that was more dead than alive, manically laughing as it ripped her piece by piece.

M'gann had been stuck in this plane until only a few minutes ago, and now the fog was starting to thicken. The sheer terror that had taken over her physical body had drained almost all of her mental energy, and she could barely keep the link up in her weakened state. Her own mind was turning against her, and it was winning. The only thing that had kept her hanging on this long was her desperation to only experience this madness once, because she didn't think she could face the black figure again and come out of it in once piece.

She was deep in the fog now, and she tried to use this to calm rather than terrify her. The quiet was what she needed, but she knew it wouldn't be long until her panic made it impossible to go on again. How many times could she experience this before her mind shut down?

Not… y-yet… She told herself. Pushing further, she ran head-on into the fog, the way she'd done countless times before. Every attempt caused the fog to thicken, and this time was no exception. She stopped before it became too overwhelming and tried to think, but each second that passed sapped more and more of her strength. She was reaching delirium, and her exhaustion was causing her to begin to babble.

No… I can't-I can't stop it. Why-why did y-you h-have to… I didn't m-mean to… don't leave m- I'm so sorry, It was a m-mistake, C-Conner don't… Kaldur, please… d-don't do this. D-don't go… you killed her… no… Artemis… he k-killed… I d-don't u-underst-and, why? Dick, why? W-why did you lie to us?

Her whimpering escalated to screams. I TRUSTED YOU. H-HOW COULD YOU? I DIDN'T KNOW! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I'M SORRY! MAKE IT STOP! CONNER, MAKE IT STOP!

Just as M'gann was sure this was the end of her misery and the end of her sanity, the fog began to fade away. She saw figures standing in a row before her, silent and still. For a moment, she was terrified it was the figures in black, the ones with her face, but another look erased that fear immediately.

Conner, Artemis, Kaldur, Garfield, Nightwing, Wally, Zatanna, Rocket, La'gaan, her uncle, Marie Logan, all of the people she cared about stood before her as immobile as statues. Behind them, hundreds upon hundreds of memories seen through her eyes stretched across her inner mind. As they played before her, she began to relive them – and re-experience all the emotions that accompanied them. But the constant stream became too much too quickly – happiness and sorrow and anger and love and hate and jealousy and envy and fear, it was all blending together until M'gann couldn't tell one emotion from the next. All she was aware of was that it hurt. But she tried to hold on. She tried to keep the link alive, because she didn't know if she could summon the energy to come this far again. But it hurt so bad.

She felt arms around her; strong, warm, familiar – lifting her up, keeping her from crumbling. And she was filled with the sense that maybe she could do this – she could fix all of her wrongs, all of her mistakes, everything that had been broken - including herself.

And then the monsters emerged, and the warmth was replaced by an icy chill that took her very breath away, and the red eyes glowed like embers from the faces before her.

M'gann finally severed the link, her chest heaving with dry sobs and air sharply entering her lungs with each breath. She realized she was on her hands and knees, her muscles aching with the exertion used just to keep herself from collapsing. She slowly eased her body to the floor, the cool metal soothing against her feverish skin. She lay on her stomach and tried to bring her frantic heart-beat down, but her entire body felt rigid and stiff and she felt too exhausted to put any effort into anything else after the ordeal she had just been through. So she simply let the aftermath run its course; she waited for the stifling heat to leave her and let the chills caused by her cooling sweat to make her twitch and shiver, she waited for her muscles to relax on their own, letting the relief wash over her from head to toe – and she waited for the hellish images that lived in her own head to fade away, if only for a little while.

M'gann let out an angry yell and pounded her fist against the floor. She'd made progress, but it had cost her at least a day's worth of recovery before she could make another attempt without damaging her psyche. She had already pushed herself too far in the last few days, unable to allow her mind to completely recharge as the urgency of her situation pressed on her chest like a mountain. She'd come one step closer to repairing the link, but it hadn't been enough - and she was beginning to lose her will to keep trying.

She felt hot tears burning the corners of her sore eyes, the well-worn trail guiding the moisture into straight, uniform lines. Deep down, she knew that the only way she could fix her own broken mind was if she could undo the damage she had done to Kaldur. But there were several obstacles in the way preventing her from doing so – the most formidable being the question of if it was even possible for her to reverse the catatonic state she had left him in. And she knew she couldn't try unless her own psyche was completely restored. To try to fix him in her current condition would almost guarantee further damage to his mind, with a very likely chance that she could kill him.

A knock against the outside of the bioship made her start, bolting upright too quickly and instantly making her light-headed. She placed her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes as dots swam across her vision.

"M'gann? M'gann, let me in. I… I want to talk to you." It was Conner. "Please, I know you want to be alone, but… you've been up here for almost three days."

M'gann's eyes snapped open. Three? She must've lost more time than she'd thought. It explained why her body ached so much more painfully than the last time.

"You… you haven't eaten. Gar is worried about you. I… I'm worried too." He sounded so desperate, so afraid. She was so tired and felt so alone, so terrified of what was to come that she didn't let herself think about how different things were between them now, how all of his pain was her fault too. Right now, she wanted him here with her – she wanted something that felt familiar, something she knew that couldn't be erased from memory; the strongest thing she could imagine.

M'gann created a small opening in the ship, revealing a disheveled Conner standing atop Sphere in her vehicle-like transformation. He looked like he hadn't slept, his eyes red with stress and exhaustion. He immediately stepped into the ship and was at her side the moment she entered his vision. His face was creased with worry as he kneeled to the ground.

"M'gann-"

"Conner, please," M'gann cut him off, placing her hands on his broad shoulders. Her voice shook, revealing to him just how much she was struggling."Please, don't say anything. Not yet. I just – I just need you. Just for a minute. Please, please don't leave –"

Conner sat down and let her crawl into him, her small body fitting into his chest the way she'd done thousands of times before in the last five years. He put his arms around her and rubbed small circles into her back as he felt her begin to tremble. "I'm not. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, M'gann. I'm right here, ok?"

He held her for what felt like hours; hours he had yearned for night after night as he'd tried to mend his own broken heart. But it was impossible to repair what had been broken when the only one who could fix it was the person responsible for all the pain. And she had broken more than just his heart – she'd broken him. Yet day after day, night after night, she was the only one he thought about. He'd been the one to end it, but he couldn't make himself move on – even when she had. And he hadn't realized why until right now – he didn't want to. He knew it was a dangerous thing to feel, to want something that gave him so much unbearable pain, but it wasn't something he could instantly turn off like a light switch. He loved her. Despite everything she'd done, despite the wedge that had been driven between them, Conner loved her. She had caused him so much pain in the last few months, but he would take away all of hers right now without a second thought, without anything in return.

When he felt M'gann's body rise and fall with consistent, even breaths, he gently pulled her from his chest and looked at her. Not very long ago, Conner had been the one to take her pain and turn it into something manageable – something they could fight together. But now with things so different between them and so many hurtful words exchanged, he wondered if anything he had to say would even matter.

His mind was blank as he searched for words; she was so beautiful, so familiar, and yet so broken.

"I'm scared." Conner said, his voice low. M'gann's eyes widened slightly and she felt her skin tingle underneath her uniform where his fingers were pressed along her shoulders and back. "Of me?" She whispered.

Conner shook his head. "I'm scared over you. I've been scared the moment we rescued Garfield and the others." He could still see her stricken face as she sat in the bioship, away from the controls. She had never not piloted the ship if she was on board, but Nightwing had been at the head that day.

"I know something happened down there that you haven't told Nightwing or anyone else, something that's made you want to hide where no one can get to you." Conner cupped her face in his hand, forgetting that he shouldn't – that it was wrong, that she was with La'gaan now, that he was still so angry and hurt and that the last few months had been the worst of his short life because of her. He couldn't not touch her, not after all this time and everything they'd been through. He wouldn't abandon her now.

"Please, M'gann…"

Her eyes filled with tears and she tilted her head away. "Conner, I don't want to give you any more reasons to hate me… you don't understand."

"Then help me to." Conner said. "We could always talk to each other about anything. You never let me keep anything in if you knew it was causing me this much pain." He placed his hand on top of hers and tried not to think about the last time they'd held hands, when they'd been happy. He forced himself to keep his emotions in check.

"Just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean I don't still care about you." Conner waited, seconds ticking away, but he knew her resolve was wearing thin. Her head was bowed and she was visibly shaking, but it wasn't until he felt her fingers close around his that she finally broke.

Tears flowed freely down her face, her voice a harsh whisper. "Oh Conner, I've made a horrible, horrible mistake…"