Okay so this is going to be a hard one because I don't want to just go for the obvious choice. Hopefully, it will still be good; fingers crossed!

3x13 – Knockdown

"Why do you keep coming back, Rick?"

He's silent for a moment, his blue gaze locked on hers and Kate feels her heart stutter at the intensity, feels the breath leave her lungs at what she can see in the watery depths. She knows why he keeps coming back; she realizes it as she searches his eyes and finds something that she's too scared to give a name to just yet.

So he does.

"Because," he says, leaning into her personal space, as per usual, "because I love you." If possible, his gaze doubles in intensity and Kate could swear her heart has completely stopped breathing, the air stuck in her lungs, blocked by the lump in her throat. His eyes search hers and she feels her face heating up, though she tries in vain to hide it, act like she's not red in the face with his admission. Then, suddenly, he's looking away, breaking eye contact and backing out of her personal bubble. "Not that it matters," he adds, walking in the direction of the living room.

The change is so out of the blue and so very out of character for Castle (the man who often over-shares when Kate doesn't ask or pries into her personal life when she tells him not to) that Kate feels as if he's just become somebody completely different than her Castle. And she follows him, the confusion etched on her face. She waits for him to say something – anything – about his most recent confession, but he doesn't; he just sits down and drops the file he brought along onto the coffee table. He doesn't do anything with it, though, just sits there, looking at it.

"Castle?" her voice cuts through the overwhelming silence that has enveloped them and he finally glances away from the manila folder, looking up at her. "What did you mean by that?" she asks, probably more bravely than she feels right now. Scratch that; definitely more bravely than she feels right now as she is internally shitting herself.

The look he gives her is a mix of anger and hurt and…something she doesn't really feel comfortable identifying as part of the confession he just made because the other two things are more pressing right now. "You know exactly what I mean," he says, his voice gruff and thick.

Kate shakes her head in confusion before realizing something. Josh. She'd never told him…fuck.

"We broke up," she says, and she knows that he will understand whom she means—who else could she be talking about, after all?

His eyes widen in surprise at that. "Why?" he asks, then shakes his head. "I mean, when…"

"Before he left for Africa," she informs him, looking down at her feet. "He, uh, just kind of sprung it on me. Told me that he was going to be gone for a full month the day before he was set to leave and I…I just realized that I couldn't do it, anymore."

"Do what?" Castle asks, his voice sounding dry and scratchy.

"The long-distance thing," Kate replies. "I mean, it's ridiculous; we were living in the city and acted as if we were on separate sides of the world even before he started doing Doctors Without Borders. We always had to schedule stuff together beforehand and there was no sense of spontaneity, besides the occasional surprise visit at work. And, besides that, I don't even think I…"

"You what?" Castle asks, getting to his feet.

Kate can feel him stand, but doesn't look up. "I don't think I ever loved him; never even told him I did. And that…that's not right, right? I mean, you should love the person you've been dating for nearly six months, shouldn't you? Otherwise…what's the point of going on."

Castle nods, but she can't see it. "Yes," he says, clearing his throat. "I agree. It only took me four days."

She looks up at that, the air once again stuck in her throat at his frank declaration.

"Four days?" she asks. Castle nods. "That's…that's a very short time." He nods again. "How could you possibly…?"

"It's not hard to fall in love with you, Kate Beckett," he whispers, and steps back into her personal space. "Being in love with you, though, that's hard."

Despite herself, Kate's lips quirk up at that and she snorts, shaking her head. "Then why do you do it?" she asks, softly as she feels herself cant towards him.

Castle shrugs. "The heart wants what the heart wants," he replies, just as softly. "And I've always been a rather…patient man, I'd like to think. Besides, every new thing I learn about you, every day I get to spend in your company, every smile I put on that gorgeous face…makes it all worthwhile."

Kate heart swells and pounds and does things to her that make her seriously consider consulting a cardiologist, but for now she settles for wrapping her arms around his neck, one hand burying itself in his hair as the other cups his cheek and pulls him down until their lips are pressed firmly together. Castle's eyes widen comically before he starts to respond, wrapping his own hands around her shoulders, pulling her against the wall of his chest.

The kiss lasts only a few seconds before she pulls back, panting against his cheek as she rests her forehead against his, her hazel-green eyes locked on his. "I love you, too," she husks and his answering smile sets her body aflame.

"Really?" he asks.

Kate nods. "It took me more than four days to realize it," she says and he snorts, "but yes, I do. I love you, Richard Castle; more than I thought I was capable of after my mother…" she trails off and he presses another kiss to her lips. She sinks into him, her body melding to his as his hands fall to her hips, squeezing and wrapping her up in his embrace.

It doesn't take long for hands to start wandering and Kate to start pulling him in the direction of her bedroom, her hands already reaching for the buttons on his shirt. She undoes them deftly as her lips continue to glide over his, turning Castle into a quivering puddle as she accidentally backs him onto the steps leading up to the small loft above her kitchen.

She laughs as she falls in a heap against his lap and his arms grip her waist to keep her upright even as he falls back, landing painfully against the edge of a step. He groans and Kate giggles, pressing kisses to his jaw and neck as her hands reach around him to soothe the place where the sharp edge had caught him. He groans against her chest—which she suddenly realizes is pressed right into his face—before latching onto her collarbone, forgetting the pain for a moment as he makes Kate moan.

Kate straddles him, expertly avoiding dislodging his lips, and reaches down to undo the remainder of his buttons. Once they're all off, she shoves the shirt and suit jacket off of his shoulders and pulls his face away from her collarbone to reconnect their lips. Kate growls against hers and Kate moans into his mouth as her hands map the broad expanse of his chest. Meanwhile, Castle's hands begin to work under her sweater, pushing it up along with the dark grey camisole she wears beneath it. Underneath that is just a simple black cotton bra, but it takes his breath away just as any piece of lacy lingerie might.

"Kate," he gasps, pressing his lips against the tops of her breasts, and she moans. "Oh God, you're so beautiful, Kate."

"So are you," she replies, softly, and he smiles against her skin, pressing another kiss there. Before she knows what's happening, he stands, with her still in his arms, and holds her to him, supporting her with his hands under her thighs and allows her to wrap her arms around his shoulders to keep her up. He denies her wordless request for another kiss in favor of locating and shuffling them both in the direction of her bedroom, leaving their shirts in their wake. Kate settles for raining kisses all over his chest, content with it for now.

He finally finds her bedroom after a few wrong turns and no help at all from Kate, who is too preoccupied with the sound he makes whenever she scrapes her teeth against one particular spot on his neck.

He gasps as she does it again and drops to the bed with her still wrapped around him, both of them giggling like children as they roll around. They press kisses to every inch of skin they can reach, removing more every so often until Kate is left in a pair of cotton boy shorts—which do nothing to hide the tiny heart on her hip—and Castle only wears a pair of Scooby Doo boxers that make her snort.

"You are such a goof," she mumbles and buries her face against his chest as she lay atop him.

"Don't hate," Castle retorts with a grin.

Kate laughs and pulls back to look him in the eye, both pairs having darkened. "Who's hating?" she husks with a predatory grin. Castle gulps and she grins, leaning forward to capture his lips in yet another earth-shattering kiss. Castle moans and rolls her over, settling into the vee of her legs and grinding himself down on her. Kate gasps and moves her hips against his in return, her nails scraping over the skin of his back.

"Protection," he breathes out between kisses.

"Side table," Kate replies and moans as his lips leave hers, his body canting towards the table to the left of the bed and he practically rips the drawer out, tearing the package of condoms open and grabs one. He returns to Kate to find her grinning at him.

"What?" he asks.

She shakes her head. "Nothing," she says. "You're just really…enthusiastic."

"You expected anything less?" he smirks down at her as she shakes her head and pecks her lips before pulling back to kneel in front of her. He drops the condom next to them on the bed and reaches for the waistband of her panties, pulling them down over the curve of her hips and ass, over the shapely legs that he's admired for so long and practically flings them over his shoulder as he lowers himself to lay atop her. Kate presses searching kisses to his lips as her hands reach for his boxers to return the favor. She gets them down as far as she can reach and then uses her feet to push them off the rest of the way.

When they're completely bare, Kate and Castle take a moment to just appreciate the newly revealed skin and Castle runs his thumb over her tattoo, making Kate sigh.

"It's a lot less bad ass than I thought," he murmurs and she hits his chest. He laughs. "What? I was just expecting something a little more in the shape of a dragon or something. Not a sweet little heart."

Kate snorts. "I only had about twenty five bucks and it had to be small enough to conceal with a bathing suit or else my dad would have killed me. Mom knew about it, though; she thought it was cute." She rolls her eyes at the memory of her mother cooing over it, pinching her cheeks and all.

Castle smiles as well and leans down to press his lips against the tiny mark, making her smile as he runs his lips all the way back over her body. "It's adorable," he says, "and, somehow, it's so totally…you. Kate." She smiles and presses against kiss to his lips before rubbing herself against him and making him groan. "Okay," he sighs, "cuteness over; sexy now."

She snorts and he reaches for the condom, opening the package and rolling it onto himself, before reaching down to feel how ready she is. He practically has a coronary when he feels how wet she is already and groans against her neck.

"If I should die," he mumbles against her skin, "let this be the way."

She snickers and runs a hand through his hair, her laughter then turning to a long moan as he enters her, her body arching up against his at the sensation of being so deliciously filled. Castle's entrance is slow, inching into her bit by bit until he can't anymore, pausing to let her adjust to him.

It doesn't take long at all and before he knows it, Kate is flipping them back over, her knees landing on either side of his hips as she begins to ride him with abandon. Dazed, Castle's eyes are riveted to her face and the look of complete and utter bliss etched onto her features as she rides him. He reaches for her hands and laces their fingers together, his hips rising off the bed to meet hers, matching her thrust for thrust until they're both calling out each other's names and Kate's body is slumping down over his, her breasts brushing his chest, adding to the overall sensation.

They groan in unison at the change in angle and Castle feels her clench around him as her first orgasm hits. He holds himself still, his fingers reaching down to rub against her, prolonging her orgasm until she's limp against his body.

He waits all of ten seconds before turning them over again and pressing her into the mattress with kisses and nips to her neck and collarbone, waiting until she starts to respond to him again before resuming his thrusting into her. Kate claws at his shoulders as he quickens his pace, feeling himself skirting the edge of his pleasure. But unwilling to fall without her, he reaches to rub this thumb over her clit, his fingers moving furiously over her as he pounds into her, reveling in the noises she makes.

When it becomes too much, he calls out her name and she returns the sentiment, shouting his name as she clenches around him for the second time in the last twenty minutes, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist as he presses himself flush against her and feels all the muscles in his body melt until he's resting over her like a heavy blanket. Kate doesn't mind, though, and her hands run soothingly through his hair, her lips pressed to his forehead.

After a few moments, Castle rolls over and pulls her against his chest, allowing Kate to drape herself over his body as they regain their breath.

"Wow," Kate murmurs after a moment. Castle's laugh rumbles against her cheek.

"Right?" he says. "Why did we wait so long?"

"Because, apparently, we're idiots," she replies and he laughs louder.

"Glad we wizened up," he says, his lips pressed against her hair.

"Me too," Kate whispers as she rubs her cheek against his skin.

They're silent for a few more moments before she continues, "But you should really get out while you can, Castle."

"What?" he asks, looking down at her in confusion.

"Things are starting to get dangerous," she goes on, "and I would never forgive myself if you…" she shakes her head, willing away the tears.

"Kate," Castle sighs, hand cupping her cheek and turning her face towards him. "I'm not going anywhere; I'm your plucky sidekick."

Kate shakes her head. "Plucky sidekick always gets killed," she replies, her voice breaking along with his heart.

"Your partner, then," he says. She takes a deep breath.

"I'm never going to get rid of you, am I?" she asks, mirth in her tone.

He smirks. "Never."

"Fine," she sighs. "Then tell me what you've got."

"Or I could show you instead," he says, his eyebrows wiggling in what should be a seductive manner but it only serves to make Kate snicker.

"Shut up," she says, hitting his chest. "I meant with the case."

"Oh," he deflates. "Right. Um, first let me just…" he motions down to where their bodies are pressed together at the hips and Kate flushes as she sees the condom still wrapped around his softened flesh. She nods and rolls off of him, sitting up and climbing off the bed. He watches as she stretches for a moment, his eyes glazing over as she bends down, reaching for her panties.

"Eyes off the ass, Castle," Kate says, suddenly, causing him to blush and look away. She smirks at him over her shoulder. "There'll be time for that later. Right now, go dispose of that," she points to the used condom, "and meet me in the living room."

He nods and she saunters out, adding a little swing to her hips just for him. She winks at the doorway and he growls.

"You're not making this any easier!" he shouts after her and grins at her returning laughter.

They'll be fine, he thinks, as he makes his way to her ensuite to make the disposal and clean up a bit, scooping up his boxers on the way.

They'll be even better than fine.

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