Disclaimer: I don't own Hunter x Hunter, any of the characters, or the Phantom Brigade. Or their fashions. ;D

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Spider Fashions File 1:

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"So… I've been wondering, Phinks, why do you wear that Pharaoh outfit?I mean, did you go to Egypt on a holiday and liked it so much, that you dressed up as a pharaoh and never got over it?" Shalnark asked, resting his chin on his hands.

Veeery slowly, Phinks turned to face Shalnark."Huh?..."

"I mean, well, obviously, it's a very interesting costume, but it makes people stare at us, you know? Makes us stand out in the crowd and all." Shalnark said, gesturing with a hand.

"We always stand out from the crowd. Especially when we're all together." Shizuku commented.

"Yeah, that's right."Franklin agreed.

"But. But you see?"Shalnark insisted. "Phinks' pharaoh outfit is really weird. With a headpiece and all. It's… it's outlandish."

Phinks glared at Shalnark."What's that supposed to mean?"

"If it's weird clothing we're talking about, I think Bonolenov wins."Nobunaga said. "Well, you can't even call it clothing, can you? It's all bandages and boxer's shorts. And boxing gloves." He added.

"Yeah. It's not obvious he's a boxer." Machi rolled her eyes.

Shizuku stared at Bonolenov with open curiosity. "How do you take a bath with those? Do you unravel them first or do you take a dip with them on?"

"Of course he unravels them first, Shizu. How could he wash himself if he doesn't?" Pakunoda said.

"He could take a bath with them on, so he can clean them at the same time." Franklin suggested.

"Gross."Machi said. "Poor hygiene."

"Doesn't he replace them every time?" Shizuku asked.

"That's a real bother." Phinks said."Why do you even wear bandages, Bono? Don't you ever get cold?"

"He could wear a boxer's cloak with it." Shalnark suggested. "You know, then he'll look like a champion. And he won't be cold."

"And a belt." Shizuku suggested.

"Yeah, and a belt." Shalnark nodded.

"Aww… You're concerned for Bono? How sweet." Machi said.

"Huh?" Shalnark said.

"They're supposed to be leather strips, aren't they? Looks like real bandages to me." Feitan commented.

"Yeah." Pakunoda agreed."You like you came from a car crash or something and your injuries are so bad you had to be wrapped in bandages from head to toe." She told Bonolenov.

"He couldn't have been in a car crash. He walks around the streets in those, doesn't he?" Nobunagaobjected.

"He looks like he broke out from a hospital." Shalnark observed.

"Using boxing." Machi suggested.

"Yeah. Using boxing." Shalnark agreed.

"He scares other people who see him." Franklin said.

"Then that's great!" Uvogin exclaimed.

"He looks like a walking mummy." Pakunoda said.

"A mummy back from the dead." Nobunaga said.

"Who traveled all the way from Egypt." Shalnark nodded.

"And decided to take up boxing." Machi added.

"Oh! I get it!" Shizuku tapped a fist to her palm (a/n: or something like that. you know, what characters do when they realize something. correct me. XD). "Phinks and Bonolenov went to Egypt together! Phinks decided to dress up as a pharaoh, and Bonolenov dressed up as a mummy!"

"Sounds good!" Shalnark agreed eagerly.

"No, it doesn't! Rubbish! What sort of conversation is this?!" Phinks yelled, irritated.

"Phinks switched his pharaoh outfit for a jogging suit in York New, didn't he?" Pakunoda asked.

"Yeah, he did." Feitan answered.

"Yeah. That would've looked normal." Shalnark nodded."Except wearing jogging suits at midday isn't normal, is it?"

"Why you…" The vein in Phinks' temple started throbbing.

"Say, Nobu. Why do you wear that Edo-era outfit?" Machi suddenly asked.

"What?!" Nobunaga said.

"It goes well with the sword." Shizuku remarked.

"Hmm… yeah, maybe it does..." Machi mused."But couldn't you have gone for something more…classy?"

"Classy?!" Nobunaga looked bewildered.

"And that hair… It sticks up straight out of your head." Pakunoda observed.

"Looks really weird." Machi said.

"Did you borrow some of Bonolenov bandages to tie that up?" Franklin asked.

"Why does it stick straight out of your head?" Shizuku probed.

"It's an antenna." Phinksdeclared.

"An antenna…" Shalnark said.

. . .

"We should use it to get access to Fashion channel." Machi said.

"Yeah. And business channels." Franklin added.

"To see which items we can steal." Feitan agreed.

"So that's why it sticks straight up! It's trying to get some signal." Uvogin exclaimed.

"Hey!" Nobunaga complained.

"It's too short. We should try Kortopi's hair." Shalnark suggested.

"Huh?" A clueless Kortopi said.

"Tie it up!" Phinks exclaimed.

"Go get a bit of Bonolenov's bandages!" Uvogin yelled.

"That'll outbalance him." Franklin observed.

"That'll look really weird." Machi commented.

"He'll fall over." Feitan said.

"Yeah. He'll fall over from the weight of his hair." Pakunoda agreed.

"Nobu's hair should be enough! Kortopi's too short to get good coverage. Nobu's height should make up for the short hair." Shizuku said.

"We'll stand Kortopi on a pole." Shalnark replied.

"Hurry! Tie up his hair!" Phinks yelled.

"W – wha – stop!" Kortopi protested.

Uvogin came running, a huge pole in hand."Here's the pole!"

"Stop!" Kortopi screamed.

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Okay! New fanfic! Thought up this one while I was miserable over writing my other Hunter fanfic, because I had writer's block when it came to that one. XDD

Hope you liked it!

Reviews please! ^^