That was intimidation enough.

"That sure a went well."

They walked through the door and, once again, found themselves in Super Mario.

"More a paintings. Apparently the bad a guy didn't think we'd figure it out so fast, eh?"

The choices were Paper Mario, Mario Golf and Super Smash Brothers. (Hehe, this is where I test you to see if you know which one it is… no cheating!! I'm going to make a niiice long space to give you time to figure it out.)

"It's a Super Smash Brothers, I know a it." Said Mario.

"Alright," said Bowser.

Sure enough, it was Super Smash Bros.

"So," said Bowser, "what exactly do you DO in Super Smash Brothers?"

"You a fight people."

"Whoa, that sounds like my kind of game!"

And so it was.

As it turned out, they had to fight their way to the door.

Bowser was right.

He rocked at it.

 This time, though, did not include paintings.

It included Pokemon.

"Oh Lord not these little mutants!" Sighed Bowser.

"I've a studied them, and I do believe they a are a conspiracy."

"Pika Pika!" screeched a little yellow one.

Lots of bellowing ensued, each Pokemon screaming its own name.

Then Mario had an idea.

He whispered it into Bowser's ear, and then they took it into action.

"Water Pokemon, come a here! I want a to have a FRIENDLY chat with a you!" Yelled Mario.

"Fire Pokemon! Over here, I need to talk to you!"

They both told every type of Pokemon how another Pokemon type was out to get them.

It worked.

After the carnage was finished, there wasn't a single standing Pokemon.

"Freaks…" muttered Mario as he walked past them.

They came across another door.

Inside was Toad.

"Hi guys!" He said as they walked in.

"Hi a Toad!" Said Mario. "What are you a doing here?"

"Oh, nothing in particular."

Mario was very suspicious.

Then Bowser noticed a zipper.

"Aha!" He yelled. "You're not the real Toad! I'll hold him while you unzip that zipper on his back, Mario!"

"Please! No, it's really me! I just don't you to see ME because, well, it's EMBARASSING!!"

"Shut up you dimwitted fraud!"

Mario unzipped the zipper, revealing Toad, with a zit the size of a tennis ball.

"Whoops, we're a sorry Toad! We didn't mean a to do that!"

Toad began to cry.

"Erg, we'll be leaving now. C'mon, Mario."

As they walked to the next door, Bowser was knocked over by something big and heavy.

He turned around and got out of the way right before the bomb exploded.

"MUAHAHA! Stupid lizard, stupid plumber. You didn't notice the OTHER zipper! MUAHAHAHA!"

'Toad' unzipped himself revealing Bomberman!

Mario gasped.

"You'll have to beat me before you can go through that door."

"How can he talk if he doesn't have a mouth?" Bowser wondered aloud.

Mario shrugged.

"Shut up!" Yelled Bomberman.

Then he began to make a pump bomb.

"Wait!" Yelled Mario. "If you throw that giant a thing at us, you'll blow up a too!"

"Nope!" Said Bomberman.

He threw the bomb and then ran for the door.

Unfortunately for him, Bowser and Mario were closer to the door than he was.

They walked out and held the door shut on Bomberman.

"Wait! Help me! Agh! NOOOOOO!" He pleaded

Then the bomb exploded.

"Well, that was stupid." Commented Bowser.

"Yup."

"Y'know, I've seen this all before. Villain leaves 'impossible' clues; hero figures it out and saves the day. It sure saves a lot of time if you just don't leave any clues at all. It would help our villain Mr. Genius here if he just sealed up that pipe with cement. No little rooms, no nothing. Just cement."

"Shh! Don't a give anybody any ideas."

They were closer to the villain than ever before, Mario felt it in his bones.

They were in a long tunnel.

Nothing special, dirt and junk.

"Finally! Nothing I have to THINK about!" Said Bowser happily.

"Maybe a. Who could a the villain possible have been a? My stupid a enemy Wario? Waluigi? Not you, because you were a at your pizza shop… weren't you a?"

"Yes I was. And we can eliminate me and Wario anyway because I couldn't get down the pipe alone and Wario's so fat there isn't really much to explain."

"Good a point a. That means it could a be Waluigi, or possibly a different disgruntled a Koopa?"

"Possibly. I knew a few other nasty Koopa Royalties. Of course, they would rather overthrow me than you. But then again, maybe they wanted to take over Mushroom Kingdom too. And since I resigned, yeah, the second is a very likely answer."

"Hmm."

They finally reached the end of the tunnel.

At the end of the tunnel was a door.

It said:

'Pap. Mar.'

"Paper Mario!"

"You know, they never really caught my good looks in that game…" complained Bowser.

"Oh, but they made Mario look so CUTE!!!!!" Squealed me and probably no one else on Earth.

Mario beamed.

Bowser whacked him upside the head.

They finally entered the room.

Awaiting Mario were fourteen billion adorable little star guys!

"MARIO!!!" They yelled excitedly.

Then they noticed Bowser and gasped.

"BOWSER!!!"

Then they took sticks that appeared from seemingly nowhere and began beating Bowser on the head with them.

"Ow! Hey! Quit it! Cut that out!"

Mario finally let him borrow Bow for the time being so the Star guys couldn't whack him.

Mario met up with all his party members in a small house.

"So, does a anyone know whether there a is a door out of here?"

They all shook their heads.

But then Watt spoke up.

"I know how to get out! Unfortunately, you have to beat the entire game."

"Wow, that really a stinks," Mario said.

"Nope! I, have a solution!" Roared Bowser.

"A what?"

"GAMESHARK!"

So Bowser plugged in the Gameshark.

"This Gameshark is a SPECIAL Gameshark, it does whatever I want it to do. Alrighty, watch this:

Gameshark, I want you to beat Paper Mario for us.

While that's processing, keep those four billion-"

"Fourteen billion," corrected Mario.

"Fourteen billion Star guys from whacking me on the head.

While that's processing get us some milk and cookies."

First came the snack.

Everyone found it quite tasty. In fact, they were sure Tayce T. made it!

Then the billions of Star dudes were eternally distracted from Bowser by being drawn to a competitive Pong tournament.

Finally, they beat the game.

"So long!" Waved Mario's party members.

"Bye a bye, now!"

"See ya!"

"Bowser, why a didn't you use that before?"

"Well, I was saving it for something like this."

"Oh, that a reminds me! We have to get the Gameshark!"

"NO! If we take it out now, then the game is automatically un-beaten."

"Oh, that's a bad."

"Yeah. Let's keep on movin'."

They came across a door, and they opened it verrry carrrefully.

They were standing on a platform above a bottomless pit.

Across a very large gap was another platform with a new door.

In front of them stood Link.

"Could you help me?" He asked.

"Could you help us??" Pleaded Mario and Bowser. "You're the biggest hero of all time, aside from me, of course," Mario and Bowser said in unison.

"Well, maybe. I need to get across. Longshot doesn't reach, there's no hookshot thingy on the ceiling or walls or anything, no switch or anything to shoot, I've used the Eye of Truth, the Hover Boots don't reach and I've used all the songs I know and I STILL can't get across!"

"Hmm…" Mario thought for a long time. "Have you tried a the Scarecrow's song?"

"Yes, this is what happens:"

Link played his Scarecrow song. They heard Pierre call from a distance.

"Do you think I'd go down there? Are you CRAZY?! It's dark and SPOOKY!!"

Bowser had been chatting with Navi.

"…and you know what else is what sucks about being the sidekick to a hero? YOU never get any credit, and THEY always get the bright ideas. It's no way to make a living!…"

"I agree!" Said Navi.

Finally, Mario asked: "Did you a call Epona?"

"She can't get down here."

"You never a know. Impossible things have already happened a. Would you believe Bowser a fended off a giant welder by a laughing at it? Or we get through levels by getting THROWN a? Or a how about…"

"Alright, I call her."

Link played Epona's song.

Mario opened the door, and to everyone's surprise, there stood Epona.

She reared back and then walked into the room.

Link climbed into the saddle and gestured for Bowser and Mario to follow.

Epona took a great leap and landed on the platform.

Link used the Eye of Truth to reveal that there were two doors and a treasure chest.

He tried to open the chest, but he couldn't.

Bowser and Mario tried, and they opened it and found a key. It had a very poorly drawn picture of the heads of Mario and Bowser stuck on a stick.

"Very grim," said Bowser.

"Which door do you think is your door and my door…" wondered Link.

Then, "Aha! I'll ask Saria!" So he played her song and asked her.

"How am I supposed to know, you dimwit!?" She yelled.

"That was very un-Sage like behavior," complained Link.

Finally, Navi said: "Why don't you just try them both, and whichever the key works on, that's your door."

"Good one!" Said Bowser.

Navi fluttered around proudly.

Link tried the key in a door and it got stuck. He pulled and pulled but it would not come out.

"Step aside a, foolish boy. I am a plumber, and you are not. You are only seventeen, and I'm, uh, well, nevermindthat."

"What was that?" Laughed Bowser. "How old are you, you great lump?"

"I have a a right to remain silent!"

Link was waiting for them to finish, key in hand, foot tapping on the ground.

"How'd you get a that out??" Asked Mario.

"While you two were arguing, Princess Zelda came down. She handed me a small floating Triforce and told me to concentrate its power onto the key. It worked."

"Well, I'm assuming we can go now…" said Bowser.

"Yeah. See you a around, Link!"

"Farewell!" Said Link and Navi as they unlocked their door.

Bowser and Mario unlocked theirs.

Inside was a long room.

A huge figure was at the end of the room.

Bowser gulped.

They approached the 'man' and it turned around.

"GANONDORF!" They gasped.

"Are you sure this isn't Link's door?" Asked Bowser.

"No, this is yours. I'm surprised you've made it this far. But now, you will die."

Ganondorf walked out and started throwing magic spells at them.

Mario and Bowser charged.

Mario began whacking Ganon's foot. (It was all he could reach.)

Bowser began gnawing on Ganon's ankle.

He realized something. It tasted odd… sort of like an…

inner tube.

Bowser sharp teeth finally cut through the plastic, and the inflatable body slumped to the ground.

"ARR!" Shouted their villain, who they had no idea WHO he was now.

Mizar stepped out.

"Oh goody, this robot. Would you believe he's actually…"

"No Bowser! Don't a give away the ending for people a who haven't beaten Jet Force Gemini yet!"

"Okay."

They began to fight the big… bad guy. After half an hour, they began to tire.

But Mizar didn't.

Suddenly, a piece of his arm fell off.

"Uh, a piece of your arm fell off," noted Bowser.

Mizar slapped a hand over the spot to cover up that he was falling apart.

That just caused his right arm to lose ALL of its parts.

Mario checked out the pieces and saw that it was plastic… CHEAP plastic.

Then Mizar crumpled to the ground.

"…and then out of the dust loomed GODZILLA!!!" Said Bowser.

And then out of the dust loomed…

Luigi.

"LUIGI!?!?!?!" Gasped Mario and Bowser.

"Uh, yeah a, believe it or not?" He said.

"I a can't believe you did this! My own brother! But a why?"

"Well a, it's a kinda like this. YOU got a all the games. YOU were the a favorite, you were a popular and people a LIKED you. So, I a wanted to be famous."

"You have Luigi's Mansion," pointed out Bowser.

"Yes, but that's a not enough."

"You a didn't have to do something so a drastic," said Mario.

"Yeah, well it's a what I did. I'm a sorry."

"Where's Peach?"

"She's a in the locked room behind me." Luigi stared at the ground. "I'm really a sorry, Mario. I just couldn't a take it anymore."

"That doesn't justify what you did," said Bowser.

"I a know, but YOU stealing a Peach was just as bad."

"I wanted to take over Mushroom Kingdom!"

"But that doesn't a justify what you did a."

"Making me eat my own words…" muttered Bowser.

"What a are we going to do with you, dear brother a?" Wondered Mario. "Put a you in Mushroom Jail? What ELSE could a we do?"

"Maybe we should let the Princess decide," suggested Bowser.

"Yes, yes, quite."

Luigi walked with them to the door.

There was something funny about the way he walked… he was stiff-legged or something.

"Are you a alright, Luigi?" Asked Mario.

"Yes… just a tired."

"Alright."

Then his hat fell off.

Luigi slowly bent down to pick it up. There was something odd about his head…

and then…

his pants ripped.

Luigi gasped and slapped his hands over his butt to cover the hole.

"You're not Luigi!" Accused Mario.

"Yes I am!"

"Not!"

"Am!"

"I hate to do this, but you leave me no choice." Bowser ripped off the rest of Luigi's clothes revealing…

Mr. Pants.

"Mr. Pants?!"

"Yes, it's true. Me, good ol' Mr. Pants."

"But… but… why??"

"I dunno… I guess a constellation and TV show in Banjo-Tooie and my own cheat in Jet Force Gemini just wasn't enough."

"I wish I could have stopped you sooner…" mumbled Mario.

"Oh you could have. Why didn't you?"

"How was I to know you were going to kidnap Princess Peach?"

"I announced it on my TV show!"

"And what channel would this be on?" Asked Bowser.

"Channel 32.5."

"Oh."

"Well, let's a get Peach to safety. Then we'll deal with you."

Mr. Pants lead them to where he kept Peach. They stepped inside…

No Peach.

"Where is she?!" Roared Bowser.

"I have no idea!" Said Mr. Pants.

Mario found a note and a tunnel.

The note read:

Haha Mr. Pants, you sucker! I dug my way out of here. Mario, come back to your house. You can still have some cake EVEN THOUGH you didn't help me at all.

Signed,

Princess Peach

"You mean we did all this for NOTHING!?" Roared Bowser.

They climbed out the tunnel and walked to Mario's house.

"Hello Mario!" Said Peach sweetly. "Where have you BEEN?!" She screeched.

"Uh, rescuing a you."

"Good WORK!" She said before whacking him on the head with a pink umbrella. "Let's put this villain in jail, shall we?"

They marched Mr. Pants to jail.

Then Bowser brought Mario to his pizza parlor.

They had three large pies with everything on it.

They had a merry old time.

The phone rang.

So, Bowser picked it up.

It was a customer!

"HURRAY!" They cheered.

All was good in Mushroom Kingdom… of course, until our next idiot villain comes along.

The

End!

A/N & Disclaimer: I hope you all like my story. I tried to make it funny, and adventurous, and still good at the same time. All the characters I used are property of Nintendo and no, contrary to common belief, I did not make up Mr. Pants. He is actually in the games. A lot of other stuff I used also doesn't belong to me. The plot belongs to me, though, unless someone else also thought of it. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn't, I hope I didn't use up TOO much of your precious time. Please Review!!!!!!!!