Title: Ruby's Holiday
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ruby/Killian with Granny
Summary: Christmas is Ruby's favorite time of year. It's Killian's first Christmas and while the Captain has no interest in the festivities he plays-along to make his she-wolf happy.
Warnings: Hook's sexual innuendos.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I don't think I've ever shipped two characters that have never had screen time together before but I am really into this ship. They've both lost their true loves, they're both monsters in their own ways, she wouldn't take his crap, he could take her on those adventures, and they would be pretty together. Anyway, I've only written them as a side pairing in my Wooden Swan stuff and I really wanted to give them their own adorable Christmas story, so here it is. Thanks to my wife for looking this over.

Killian Jones, or Captain Hook as he was once known (he was still adjusting to being called by his given name after going by his well-known moniker for over two centuries), stood holding a strong of lights with a scowl on his face. He wanted to be inhaling his bottle of rum, which was currently sitting untouched on the coffee table, not being used as a damn servant-boy. He didn't understand how decorating a piece of wood covered in leaves was supposed to put one in the 'holiday spirit' as his sexy she-wolf insisted, but every time she turned to look at him with a smile on her face that lit up her eyes he bit back the urge to complain some more.

He cursed that some beautiful vixen with raven locks and an independent spirit had come into his bed and taken control of his heart; twice. He'd seduced Ruby because she reminded him of his dearly departed Milha and found himself unable to stay away because they were nothing alike. Sure, Milha had been his partner, but she'd always allowed him to be in charge. Ruby was different. She didn't take is bullshit, she refused to allow anyone else to be the boss of her, and she made her own rules; rules he was all-to-happy to follow when it suited her. He loved them both but they both drove him mad. Women; life was much easier when you left them in the morning after a rowdy night rocking the ship, so to speak.

"Must I wear this ridiculous fedora?" He had no idea who 'Santa Claus' was or how this ridiculous red and white piece of fabric was festive. Killian had met the real Nikoloas of Myra (or Father Christmas as he'd been known back in Neverland) and he was nothing like this jolly fat white man that people in this land worshipped.

His she-wolf had attempted to explain this entire tradition to him but he could make no sense of it. How the birth of a false god and a fat man who delivered presents melded into a holiday was nonsense. The entire holiday seemed 'commercialized' as his puppet friend would put it and Killian had to agree. He preferred the Enchanted Forest's version; a winter solstice celebration with food, drink, family, and beautiful women. When he reminded Ruby of the holiday she simply turned away and he could see her eyes darken as she remembered her long-dead Peter. Then he cursed himself for forgetting the chap had been killed during winter and he held his tongue, for the most part, ever since.

If this sham of a holiday made her happy, then he would give it to her. It was the least he could do for the woman who chose to love him, flaws and all, and had not once tried to force him to change. She accepted him, revenge mission and all, so he could pretend to enjoy Christmas, for her.

Ruby grabbed the string dangling from his hook and settled it between the branches. Once she was satisfied with her work she hopped down from the tiny step-ladder and kissed the tip of his nose, beaming.

"It's a hat and it looks adorable. You know I've always had this thing for Sant-"

The bell rang and she rushed to the door. Killian groaned and cursed whoever was there. All he wanted for this blasted holiday was his she-wolf naked and sweaty under her lighted tree while he plowed her into the New Year. He reached for his bottle and took a long swig as his girl returned with her grandmother in tow.

"Hitting the bottle early, I see."

"Blame your granddaughter, she gave me a vile drink called 'egg nog' and I needed something to wash away the foul taste."

Her grandmother had balls and he respected that about her. And despite her disapproving grandmother act, he could tell she liked him, sometimes. Not as much as she liked good ol' August who she fawned over, but it was enough for him.

He sat back in his armchair as they two busied themselves in the kitchen. Soon the entire flat smelled of gingerbread, cookies, and pies. He tipped over his bottle, unable to even get one more drop from it and sighed. He knew the old woman wouldn't allow him to touch their goodies, even with his grumbling stomach, so he finished decorating Ruby's damn tree, just to have something to do. He plugged in the lights once the sun set and the entire room lit up.

As much as he found the holiday to be useless he had to admit the damn tree was dazzling, not that he'd tell that to her though.

"Oh, Killian, it's perfect!"

Ruby clapped her hands and threw her arms around his waist, kissing him. He curled his hand into her hair and trailed his hook over her side, drunk enough to forget that the old woman was in the next room.

Or maybe not.

Granny cleared her throat and Ruby pulled away from him with flushed cheeks.

"Mistletoe, Granny," she said and he looked up to find an ugly bushel of weeds hanging from the ceiling. Finally, a Christmas tradition he could get on board with.

They shared dinner and he cheerfully sampled each of the deserts they planned to take over to the do-gooder Charming's the next day. He hid her badly wrapped Christmas gift under the tree as she walked her Granny out of the flat. Once he was done, he settled himself onto the couch. She joined him a moment later and he pulled her into his lap.

"Tell me, love, are you planning to allow me to ravish you? It is Christmas Eve, after all. I think I deserve a present," he whispered, nuzzling her neck. He lazily trailed his hook over her torso, heading for her bosom. She slapped his hand away once she realized what he was up to.

"Why should I? You're a dirty pirate."

"That just means I'm in need of a good spanking-"

She slapped his chest and noticed her present tucked under the tree. She let out a squeal of excitement and kissed him quickly before diving to retrieve it. He enjoyed the view of her backside peeking out from under the lights but enjoyed the sight of happiness on her face as she ripped it open even more.

"Killian, you devil," she hissed as she looked up from her box and pulled out another horribly wrapped gift. He sent her a shrug, enjoying the little treasure hunt he'd set up for her. Five boxes later she found his trinket: a large clam shell. "What is-" She gave him a pout. She wasn't the type to care about what kind of gift she was receiving, she just knew him well enough to know this was just another puzzle piece.

"Your gift is inside, love," he offered.

She toyed with the shell and finally pried it open with her fingernails. She peered down at the small jewel inside before her lips formed a small 'o' shape.

Now, in those horrible movies Snow forced upon them during their 'bonding sessions' (the things he did for Ruby) this would be the point where his she-wolf would lift her head and bore into him with her dazzling sea-green eyes and a stubborn set of her jaw to find him on one-knee. But this wasn't a bloody romance novel and he was a pirate, not a prince. So when she did set her gaze on him he was still sitting in the same spot on the sofa and he gave her a lazy shrug.

"Jones?"

"Lucas?"

"What the Hell is this?"

Ruby held up an emerald ring, a trinket he'd actually purchased, legally, because he had nothing left on the Jolly Roger from his years of thievery worthy of her beauty.

"It sets off the color of your eyes, my dear. I thought a ruby would be more fitting but also predictable-"

"Is this what I think it is, Killian?" She asked angrily.

"Why don't you try it on and you tell me."

She huffed and glared through him for a moment before testing it on the correct finger the first time. She held up her left hand and watched as the lights from the tree danced off of the stone. Her face softened as she got caught up in the beauty of it.

"I don't…Are you…Is this what I…"

He'd yet to render her speechless, so he took a moment to enjoy it before speaking.

"I'm a pirate, love. I'm not going to ask you a question or turn into some besotted sod fumbling on his knees with a goddamn ring. You're already my Pirate Queen, love, and I don't need it to be official, but I hear things and…" He gave her another shrug. "If it's what you want, I am a Captain of a vessel, I have certain rights, and there is that blasted Knight of Snow's…" He wasn't sure if those would be legal in this land, but he wasn't going to get dressed up like an idiot and go into a church. It was the Jolly Roger or nothing.

She carefully placed the oyster shell on the coffee table before climbing into his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck, then places a firm kiss on his lips.

"Pirate Queen, huh?" She asked with her lips still on his.

"Indeed, love." He slid his hook up her blouse and unhooked her brassiere, proud of his recently acquired trick. She took in a sharp breath as he trailed the tip over her skin, careful not to pierce her flesh. He peeked over her shoulder, eying an open spot underneath the tree.

"Tell me more about this thing you have for men in Santa Hats."