Hello folks, AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! I just had to update right now, okay? Anyway, I think I kinda like you! You may not like me anymore, 'cause it's been almost five freaking months since the last time I updated. Yeah. Five months, and I am really, really, really sorry. If you want a longer apology (I doubt it), check out the latest update of my other story - Silent Surprise - that I updated a really long time ago, actually. (This is my way of promoting my fics. Classy, huh?)
But I thought it was time to update this story because it's been over a year since I started it! Yes, I know that 14 chapters in a year isn't that much, but anyway... yay!

But guys, thank you so much for the reviews and follows and all. :)

hugefriendsfan00 - I know, right? :D

Blunz - Well, you're right about that! And yeah, Monica is a meddler. :D Thank you!

The Irish Gleek - I'm not gonna tell you, but it is possible that Team Monica won't win this time. Maybe, maybe not. :D Yeah, Rachel and Pete... I agree, I really, really don't like the idea of them going out. That would be just way too weird. :D Thanks, we'll see what happens!

Mondlercrazy0508 - Thanks! Well, they have been dating just for, like, ten days (Is this for real? Man, this is going slow) so I don't know about that yet. :D We'll see, maybe he'll blurt it out anyway!

Friendsfan41 - Haha, thank you! I'm glad you loved it that way. :)

Prof-the F.R.I.E.N.D.S fanatic - Oh yay, thank you so much! It's kinda scary that you probably know the story much better than I do. :D Seriously! I can only remember the first chapter. What the hell happened after that? And yeah, I work pretty hard... sometimes. Not that often. Will you marry me? :)

Guest - Haha XD Well, I must agree - he is pretty awesome. Thank you!

Here's the new chapter you may have been waiting for... probably not. It's a weird chapter, anyway. But it's the longest one I've written for this story!

Chapter 15 ~ Makeup

After having a good night sleep Chandler came over to my place to discuss our options and how to continue developing our plan. It's kind of early so Rachel is still sound asleep, and therefore we can talk about her and Joey as freely as we want.
Chandler is standing by my door, watching as I'm putting on my makeup and all the rest. I'm so focused on my own face that it takes me a while to realize that we haven't spoken in minutes.

When I take a quick glance at Chandler, he breaks the silence. "You don't need any makeup, Mon," he says with a smile.

I grin happily as I'm putting on the final touches. "That is so sweet," I say before getting up and walking up to him, "but I don't buy it." I place a kiss on his cheek before turning around to pick my shoes for the day.

"No, I'm serious," Chandler says. "I've never understood why pretty women like you put on makeup every day."

"Maybe that's just what makes us look pretty," I remark. "Have you ever thought about that?"

"What do you mean? I've seen you without makeup and you looked amazing."

"One; you're just saying that because you're dating me, and two; no, you haven't."

"I haven't?"

"No," I let out a laugh. "Seriously, you still have a lot to learn about women."

"That's not anything new," Chandler says. "But I never knew you're so obsessive over your looks."

"Well, we just like to highlight our natural beauty. Women are like that," I confess as I put on my shoes. "And if we weren't, men would complain."

"So, you're putting effort into your looks just because of us?"

"No. See, that's typical guy logic. You always think that everything has something to do with you," I say. "I mean, sure, if we go on a date or something, of course we want to look good for the guy, too. However, in general, we want to look good for ourselves, and in a way it kind of makes us more healthy and confident. And I know that you don't believe this since, well, you're a guy. But it's the truth and honestly, I'm glad that guys can never experience something like it."

Chandler gives me a look of plain confusion. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again; women are so complicated."

I can't help but laugh at that. "Oh, you have no idea," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck before giving him a gentle kiss. When I pull away, his face has already brightened up.

"You know what?" I ask. "I think we should tell Rachel."

Chandler looks at me like I've just gone crazy. "Are you kidding?" he asks, his voice cracking slightly. "We can't tell her!"

I stare at him, confused. "Why not?" I ask, not sure why he became upset because of my suggestion.

"Well, I don't know, um.. Maybe because we're not ready for that yet, or because we agreed to keep this a secret until -"

I let out a laugh, interrupting his rant. "I didn't mean we should tell her about us!"

Chandler frowns, not quite letting himself be relieved yet. "Really?"

Really amused by him, I shake my head slightly. "I meant that we should tell her about your mom coming over today."

"Oh," he says, an embarrassed but amused smile rising on his face. "Okay, we can do that."

I want to praise his cuteness once again as I let out another laugh, but decide not to. I've done it way too much already, and I don't want to reveal just how much of a freak I am. Not quite yet. "You're out of your mind," I say instead.

"I thought the same thing about you just a minute ago," Chandler says with a grin on his face. "So, what's your plan?"

"Well, I think we should tell her that the only day Mrs. Bing is free is today. Rachel is such a big fan, I think she's going to cancel that thing in Vermont 'cause, let's be honest, meeting Nora must be more important to her than some sex thing with Joey," I explain. "So, then she tells Joey at the last minute that she can't go because your mom is coming over, and that will lead to an argument."

"And you're hoping that will break their meaningless relationship," Chandler grins impishly. "How evil."

"I know! Then, there will be no more goofing around between those two," I say, already almost tasting the victory.

"What are you guys doing?"

I snap my head towards the door and see Rachel standing there, behind my secret boyfriend.

"Nothing," Chandler says, his eyes wide in surprise.

"Yeah," I say, trying to sound cool. "Although... You didn't hear what we talked about, did you?"

Rachel shrugs. "No."

"Good."

"Well, what were you talking about?"

"Oh, that," I let out a nervous laugh. "Chandler just came by to tell me that, um... Mrs. Bing is coming over today."

Rachel's jaw drops open. "What?! Oh my god!" she squeals. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," I say, and Chandler nods his head... a little too rapidly.

Rachel is too excited to notice any of the awkwardness. "Oh my god! This is so unexpected, I can't wait," she says. "But what happened to the surprise visit -thing?"

"Well... Since you told us that you're going to Vermont today, we thought we should let you know," I explain, just off the top of my head.

"Damn it, Vermont!" Rachel remembers, her excitement vanishing. "I'll have to leave in like three hours or so! What time is she coming?"

I look at Chandler inquiringly, not sure if he even has an answer to that.

"I don't know, she didn't tell me," Chandler shrugs. Rachel lets out a sigh, staring at him expectantly for several seconds before he finally gets it. "Oh, I'm just gonna call her," he says and leaves the room.

"I can't believe this," Rachel says to me. "I swear, if this doesn't work out, I won't go to Vermont at all."

"Don't say that," I say, smiling to myself mischievously. "Although.. I'm sure you can get a job right here, you know, with traditional methods. Without having to show so much cleavage to old pervy guys."

"You're right about that," Rachel smirks. "But I would still like to go."

"I know," I whisper and gather her into a symphatetic hug, pretending to feel sorry for her. Okay, I kind of do feel sorry for her, so at least I don't have to lie about that.

Chandler appears in the doorway, and I break the hug with Rachel. "She didn't pick up," he informs.

"Well... But you left a message, right?" Rachel asks.

"No," Chandler cringes.

"You didn't?! Why?"

Chandler gives it a thought before giving in. "Okay, fine - I didn't call her. I just realized that I don't even have her number!"

Rachel just rolls her eyes. "Damn it," she says and leaves the room.

Chandler and I share a confused look but follow her into the living room.

Rachel is pacing the room, clearly weighing the options. I can see that both, Joey and Nora are very important to her. I feel a little afraid that she might choose Joey over Nora, and if she does so, it's very likely that she already has some feelings for him. In that case, it's too late and definitely way too cruel to try to break them up like this. To me this all sounds like Team Monica might just lose this time. I shake my head to get rid of these ridiculous thoughts.

After watching Rachel for several minutes, I decide to speak up. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, um... Maybe I should see if they can reschedule that thing in Vermont," Rachel suggests.

"They would reschedule for you?" I ask questioningly.

"Who knows?" Rachel says with a shrug, suddenly becoming more relaxed. "Chandler, I'm gonna borrow your phone."

"Rachel," I let out a laugh. "What's this?" I ask as I pick up our phone from the table.

"Yeah, I know," Rachel nods. "But, um.. If I make the call with some other phone, they can never... You know, trace me."

I stare at her in incredulously for a moment before nodding. "Oh, right. Of course," I say, and she leaves the apartment.

"Wow.. It turns out you were actually wrong when you said that she was getting better at lying," Chandler said.

"That is a hard fact," I admit. So, I was wrong and I'm about to lose. This is a great day for me.

"Well, I'm sure that there's some serious arguing happening right now," Chandler says, motioning towards our door.

"You think?" I say before pressing my ear against the door.

"I don't think you're gonna hear anything through this door," Chandler says, clearly amused by my eagerness.

Just when I'm about to respond, the door opens and therefore hits my face. A small shriek escapes my lips, and I jump in surprise. Chandler catches me from behind so I don't fall on my back, and I can only imagine how wonderful the view looks to the people who have just walked through the door. Rachel, Joey and the one and only Mrs. Nora Bing are staring at me in shock, and I couldn't be more embarrassed. What an excellent first impression to my boyfriend's mother. Just excellent.

Joey is the first to speak. "What's going on?" he asks.

"I have no idea," I say as Chandler helps me to stand up. "Looks like I almost fell down."

I'm glad that Chandler decides to change the subject. "Mom?" he says, surprised. "What are you doing here? I mean, you're early!"

"I told you on the phone, sweetie," Nora says, gathering her son into a brief hug.

"Um... No, you didn't," Chandler shakes his head.

"What do you mean I didn't? I called at your apartment."

"I haven't been at my apartment, I've been here all morning."

"It might have been me.." Joey says from the doorway.

"Joe, why didn't you tell me?" Chandler asks with a frown on his face.

"I wasn't sure who she was, but she sounded like a woman and she told me she would come over soon," Joey explains. "That was enough for me."

Chandler rolls his eyes before turning back to face his mother. "You thought he was me?"

Nora shrugs nonchalantly. "I guess I forgot what your voice sounded like."

"It's lovely to meet you, Mrs. Bing," I interrupt their bickering. "I'm Monica."

"Nice to meet you too, Monica," Nora says with a smile, shaking my hand.

"So, why are you so early?" Chandler asks again.

"Well, there were some complications and they had to redo my schedule, and it turns out I have a press conference later today. But I didn't want to miss this, so I came a little early!"

"Well, if that's the deal, I think I can still make it to Vermont today!" Rachel cheers, sharing a triumphant look with Joey.

"Great, so everybody wins," I mutter with a feigned smile.

Rachel gives me a strange look, but fortunately she ignores my comment as I keep talking.

"I assume you've met Rachel, the die-hard fan," I say, turning the attention on her.

Rachel grins happily, and I can see that she's really trying to suppress her true feelings and not freak out.

"Yes," Nora says, smiling at her. "You wanted me to sign your books, is that right?"

"Yeah! That would seriously make my day and, yeah, I'm gonna go get 'em!" Rachel says before running into her room.

"Okay, why don't we all sit down," I suggest, taking my role as the hostess again. "What would you like to drink? Is coffee okay?"

"Coffee would be fine, thanks," Nora says kindly as she sits down, next to Chandler.

"Actually I have to go. I, um... have some stuff to do," Joey says, sounding a little downbeat. That's when I remember it. He still thinks that Chandler's mother is dead! Well, probably not anymore. I look at Chandler, and it doesn't take long from him to realize what's going on. Without hesitation, he gets up from the table.

"Wait, Joey," Chandler says. "I need to talk to you."

"Don't tell him," I say as he walks past me, my voice barely a whisper.

As Chandler and Joey exit the room, Rachel rushes from hers. "Alrighty!" she exclaims, sounding almost over-enthusiastic. "There you go," she says to Nora as she sets a pile of books and a marker on the kitchen table.

"You have all of my books, this is amazing!" Nora says, amazed.

"Of course! I've read everything you've ever written," Rachel practically squeals as she shares yet another hug with Nora.

I can't help but roll my eyes a little. Too much embarrassment for one day - and it's not even noon yet.

When Chandler comes back from the hall, we all sit down and chat for a while. Rachel seems to calm down a bit, so the conversation turns out to be pretty fun. Although, it doesn't take long until Rachel has to leave for Vermont, leaving me and Chandler alone with his mother. I find it quite awkward, and I'm sure Chandler does too, but I try to act as natural as I can.

"How long has Joey been with that girl?" Nora asks as soon as Rachel has left.

Chandler and I share a flabbergasted look. "What?" he asks.

"Oh, please," Nora laughs. "People can't hide their affairs from me. I write about them for a living, I know all the signs."

An awkward silence fills the room, and at the moment I find it inappropriate to even move. Uncomfortable.

"Yeah... Obviously," Chandler says, clearing his throat. "But as far as I'm concerned, they haven't been together for long. I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"Really? I think they look great together," Nora says.

"Well.. Actually, we kind of want to break them up," Chandler reveals. "But we don't want them to know that we know about them as a couple."

"Yeah. Do you have any evil tips?" I ask with a grin.

"Oh, I do have tips," Nora says. "First of all, you need to make yourselves present in their lives, to the point where it's almost annoying. You need to be great listeners and really comforting. And, Monica, for example, you can tell Rachel something crazy about Joey's past or make comments about his repulsive ways."

"Ooh, I like that," I say, rubbing my hands together in excitement.

"Also, nothing makes a couple lose interest faster than having a good time hanging out separately," Nora explains. "And if you know they have a date coming up, get the other person drunk before it! That always works, and so does making the other one jealous."

"Thank you," Chandler says with a smile. "You have just become a helpful mother!"

"Aww, is that so?" Nora says, patting his shoulder. "So, how's your love life?" she asks, slightly cocking her eyebrow.

I glance at Chandler as he rolls his eyes. "Mom," he groans.

"What? I just want to make sure that my son is happy, that's all," Nora says, still with a smirk playing on her lips.

"Okay, I'm happy. Are you happy now?"

"No," Nora lets out a laugh. "Seriously. The last time we met you were in love with that Susan girl, right?"

"Susie," Chandler corrects as he runs his hand through his hair, glancing at me nervously. "Yeah, that was, um.. It just didn't work out."

"Oh.. What a shame," Nora says. "I thought she was really nice."

"Yeah, well," Chandler lets out a sigh, "people tend to give false first impressions."

"That's true," Nora admits. "Not too long ago, I met this guy whom I dated for like a month, and -"

"A month? When did you give in to commitment?"

Nora keeps going without paying attention to her son's comment. "He was so sweet at first, and honestly, he was one of the best lovers I've ever had," she says, causing me to smile and Chandler to roll his eyes again. "But after a few weeks of dating he wouldn't put out anymore. I was getting real antsy because, well, I'm a woman, I have needs. And look at me - I'm quite desirable, don't you think? I'm stunned to hear that he still hasn't come out of the closet. Unbelievable."

"Unbelievable indeed," Chandler says, shaking his head in disbelief. "Hey, here's a question: can we talk about something else?"

"Fine," Nora shrugs, leaning slighty towards me. "Clearly he has no idea what it's like to be a woman," she whispers.

"I know, right?" I agree with a nod.

"Excuse me for not following in my father's footsteps," Chandler jokes.

"Ha ha," Nora lets out a sarcastic laugh. "I'm really glad that you're nothing like Charles. Or like me, to be frank."

"Well, who knows? Maybe someday I will write a book about male genitalia."

"I sincerely hope that you won't," Nora laughs.

I can't help but laugh along - to me the Bings family seem hilarious. However, my snickering brings the attention on me since I've been really quiet during Nora's visit.

"So, Monica," Nora says with a smile. "What do you do for a living?"

"Don't ask her that question, she'll rip your eyes right out," Chandler mutters.

"No, no," I say, shooting a glare towards him, "I'm a waitress right now." Suddenly my job doesn't sound too bad. Sure, it's not what I want to do, but at least I have a job. My current attitude might have something to do with Nora being the complete opposite of my mother. Nora is so open, kind and broad-minded.

"She used to be a chef, though," Chandler adds.

"Really?" Nora asks, clearly impressed. "Which restaurant did you work at?"

"Iridium," I say.

"Really? What a coincidence! I've been there," Nora said. "And I remember it very well. I had Kung Pow chicken. Guess why?"

"Don't even start," Chandler rolls his eyes, but Nora ignores his warning and starts telling me the story. And I love hearing it. After this, I totally understand why Rachel is so obsessed with Nora and her books.

After chatting for a while and lots of eye-rolling on Chandler's part, Nora takes a glance at her watch.

"Damn, I think I should be going," she says, getting up.

"So soon?" I ask, disappointed. I can feel Chandler glaring at me, but I don't care. Nora is awesome! How come he keeps bitching about her? I don't get it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," she says. "I really hope to catch up with you soon."

"Not too soon, though," Chandler says, and this time it's me shooting glares at him.

"Um, Monica..." Nora starts, seeming a bit uncomfortable. "Can I see you alone for a second?"

"Okay.. Sure," I say, not sure if I'm in trouble or what. Chandler looks almost as confused as I do, and for some reason that makes me even more nervous.

"Bye, Chandler," Nora says to her son, giving him a goodbye kiss. Chandler gives me an apologetic look before I enter the hall together with Nora.

I look at her expectantly, and the silence is soon broken by her.

"Look, Monica," she smiles, gently squeezing my hand with both of hers. "When I said that people can't hide their relationships from me... I meant it."

What is that supposed to mean? I open my mouth to say something, but no words come out.

"You're involved with my son, am I right?"

Now I'm screwed. At this point, lying probably wouldn't do any good. "How did you.. I mean, did you.. Uh, how?" I stutter nervously. I don't know if she's happy or mad. She seems... neutral.

"Well, first of all, I could smell your perfume all over him," Nora says. "I could instantly sense the sexual tension between you and my son, the body language was quite obvious. Then, there were those looks you two kept sharing with each other that you probably didn't think anyone would notice. But I did," she explains with a small smile on her lips. "Can I ask, how long has this been going on?"

I swallow before letting out a nervous sigh. "Um.. Not much longer than a week."

"Are you just friends with benefits or are you already committed?" Nora asks, causing an unsure expression to rise on my face. "Sorry, I don't want to seem too pushy but this is important to me."

I take a deep breath. "I think we're just taking it day by day and see how it goes," I explain. "But for me this is not just a meaningless fling, if that's what you meant. And I hope... I really think he feels the same way."

Nora smiles again, looking down at our hands. "Do you like him?"

Finally an easy question. "Yes," I nod without hesitation. "I really like him."

"I thought so," Nora smiles. "The reason why I'm asking these questions... Well, I've been through hell with my past relationships and frankly, it's still going on. I know I tend to make fun of it but it's really tough, and I don't want my son going through the same thing. I know his heart has been broken by many girls already and I truly regret not being there for him. Now, I just want to make sure that he's happy and he gets to be with the girl that he deserves do be with."

"Mrs. Bing, I... I'd really like to be that girl."

"I think you are," Nora says with a smile. "I just wanted to talk to you in private and make sure that my instincts were right."

"I'm definitely not planning on breaking his heart."

"I know." Nora smiles, hugging me briefly. "I like you, Monica," she adds.

I can't help but crack a smile. "And I like you, Mrs. Bing."

"Please, call me Nora," she smiles.

"Okay, Nora," I say, smiling back at her.

"Bye. It was nice meeting you."

"You too."

I'm sure there are some negative sides to having a mom like Nora Bing, but I still wish she was my mom. And I'm not even sorry! I'm definitely going to read her books. But it bugs me that I don't know much about Chandler's childhood. I should talk to him about that, too. I need to talk to him about a lot of things, and I am ready to get to know him better. That will make it much easier for me to show who I am. It doesn't matter how I'll do it. Maybe I'll tell him stuff about my life... Or maybe I'll just remove my makeup and show him how I look naturally.

There you go! Originally I had so much more planned for this chapter, but it turned out to be really long so the other stuff is going to be in the next chapter... And I have some of it written already. There's probably going to be a long talk between Monica and Chandler. Yes, again. You're not getting tired of this, now are you? Anyway, lots of things will be revealed, I think.
Thanks for reading tho! xxo