a/n; so this is my little christmas present to you:3 my first dramione one shot/fic in a long time aye? I have got two multifics out, one waiting a long over due update (sorry dont kill me) and a knew one I really like myself called 'the crossing of ways' so if you're a fan of dramione, angst and draco getting his shirt off you should go and check that one out fo sure! anyways hopefully you'll enjoy this, it has a pretty basic plot and is just an excuse for angsty/hot dramione which I know we all love. this one's dedicated to all of my lovely readers and all dramione fans out there! enjoy(: song recommendations- hallelujah by kate voegal, and skyfall by adele.

She knows its wrong. Knows its wrong running to see him every time someone makes a comment about her or snigger's behind her back. She knows she has to stop going to him every time something goes wrong, she has to quit cold turkey. Over and over again she's promised herself that she'll stop, she will stop running to him every time things fuck up and she can't take it anymore. It's not fair on either of them and she feels like a traitor when she leaves his bed, charms away her hickeys and pats down her curls. She feels even worse when Harry and Ron ask after her and she merely mutters something about the Library and they accept it as truth, what kind of friend is she?

Honestly she can't help herself. Ever since the Battle that destroyed them all she can barely make it through the day without feeling tired or confused or sad. People whisper about how shes loosing her touch and soon even Harry and Ron will ditch her, others murmur that shes cracked; though she knows its garbage she still flinches when people point and still cries herself to sleep at night when she's alone.

It had started on the night time, another Charms class she had been dismissed from had sent her back to the Dorms early and she had been sobbing into the pillow ever since, tears trickling down her pale cheeks as she tried to contain her upset. The Battle had shook everyone hard and though she hadn't lost her boys or her family she still felt like she had been brutally hit by the dark side and had lost all faith in her side, regardless that they had won. That battle had changed her, honestly she began asking herself if the circles under her eyes would ever go away or if she would ever be a healthy size 10 again.

The moon had been shining overhead and Hermione had been crying as she did every night. Downstairs she had heard the ramblings of a Halloween party ongoing and instead of remaining upstairs she had headed down before fleeing out of the Common Room at the first sight of everyone smiling. A smile hadn't tugged at her lips in months and she doubted if it ever would again. Walking around the corridors of the ancient castle uncaring about her curfew she somehow had made her way over to the Slytherin dungeons, the green glowing bright and holding the least number of students out of the houses..no one wanted to be associated with it anymore, bar a few who clung to the house they had been sorted too out of pride more than anything.

She had mumbled the password under her lips, being Head Girl she knew every password to every room, the Slytherin dungeons were no different. Unsure of what she was doing or where her feet were taking her she had continued forward, even more aware now that she had only worn a long gryffindor top and a pair of white boy shorts, her feet bare. Uncaring about her appearance as the Common Room was empty her feet had trekked to the stairs and again she had found her brain switching off and her feet carrying her to his dorm, the dorm he inhabited alone upon becoming a prefect, thank god.

"What am I doing here?" A whisper in the night she couldn't have held back.

She had pushed open the door, pulling herself inside and shutting it behind her before she could have stopped herself. Her eyes had looked into his as his expression became one of confusion, his demeanor suggesting he was about to go to bed, she knew he certainly had not anticipated her arrival.

"Don't" Her voice had simply said as he had opened his mouth to speak; he was a different man now she seemed, he was still him but not cruel and had worked hard to gain respect back at Hogwarts, many saw him as a victim rather than a villain and Hermione was one of them, he hadn't meant his actions and she knew the kind of pressure people could put on one another, she didn't blame him for trying to live up to family conventions and she knew all of the crap he had thrown her way in the early years was just that. "Just don't"

Again she had found her feet walking her forwards and her arms had gone round his neck, he had looked on at her in shock but didn't push her off. Instead when she reached on tip toes he bent further down to secure his lips against hers. Neither said a word about what they were doing but continued to kiss, the clothes soon falling to the floor, and her legs wrapped around his waist. They fell in a tangle upon the sheets, and she had felt little pain as he entered her, the pleasure that followed felt impossible and it ended with her cries translating into his as they both saw stars, cartwheels together on the high of ecstasy.

Her head had rested upon his chest, and her legs had mixed with his, his fingers tracing light patterns on her back. Oddly she felt content, not even fazed by the loss of her virtue but happy and content for the time being, it had been the first time a smile had graced her lips for what seemed like eons and she couldn't deny he had made her feel such a way.

"Are we going to talk about this?" His voice sounded oddly soft, maybe he wasn't such a monster.

"No, just hold me" And so he did.

Now it was as if he were her drug, she couldn't get enough of running to his dorm and repeating the actions of the night she had lost her virginity. She loved to call his name, and she knew he loved hearing it, she loved causing scratches down his back and bruises on his neck that he would charm hidden in the morning as she did with hers. Though she knew it was wrong, so wrong and so dirty she simply couldn't help but constantly run round to him, and though she told herself time and time again she would stop she never did.

"Do you think what we're doing is wrong?" The question blurted out as she lay on his chest again, her legs a tangle with his once more and his fingers tracing the same light patterns on her back.

"No, but I know you do" He did know her oh so well.

"I just feel like a traitor" A whisper again not contained followed by shake of his head.

"Well don't because I'm hooked, you're like my drug I can't let you go"

Oddly his words didn't make it feel worse but so much better. "I know, I feel the same"

"Good"

And with that the conversation dropped, no doubt they would pick it up again but for now Hermione was happy enough, content even to stare at the green on the walls, her head resting on Draco Malfoy's chest as he made lazy patterns on her back.

hopefully you liked it :3 please check out my dramione fics^^

also if you're a reader of 'I stopped missing you' I promise I have not finished with that fic yet, I've just had a serious case of writers block on it and had no idea where to go with it, but I've been working on a new long chapter and promise it will be up soon enough.

as always review m'lovelies and a merry christmas to you all :)