Manabe

He had the nerve to ask me to be a groomsman. I was appalled enough when I opened the stupid white card with the stupid lacy flowery cut-out design with the stupid silver calligraphy writing inviting me to "witness the union of Yuki Sohma and Tohru Honda in holy matrimony" in stupid English with another stupid request printed on a piece of silver cardstock asking if I'd be a groomsmen. The date, mere weeks from now, infuriated me. He cheated on my little sister just weeks ago, and now he's marrying the stupid slut just weeks from now? He has no respect. No dignity. No heart to do this to my sister.

The jerk never even loved her.

Looking back, I can tell now. Before, I was just as stupid as he is. I should have done something. I should have known whenever we jokingly talked about love, his eyes would sparkle with adoration for another woman besides the woman curled up on the couch beside him in my apartment. I should have known all those poetic things he said about love were never meant for my little sister, since he never looked at her when he said them. I should have known because I was her big brother and I was supposed to be his best friend.

I had seen him with Tohru Honda a lot. Before I knew him, I had suspected they had had a thing for each other and were probably secretly lovers or something, afraid to make their relationship public with his overbearing fan club. He had always looked at her as if there was no one else in the world. And it was always suspicious that the Prince, known for keeping his distance from everyone and heartlessly rejecting every confession, spent so much time with her. I think if it wasn't for that, no one would have noticed her. She was so ordinary… except for the fact that she somehow broke through his walls. I'd always see them, talking to each other in the hallway, arriving to school together, holding hands. Really, how else would you interpret that?

But then he tells me he does love her. As a mother.

Bullshit.

How dare he lie to me like that with tears in his eyes, making me believe his crap?

Mother of his child maybe.

I confronted him shortly after I had gotten Machi to confess what happened and why she had looked completely tortured when I had visited her and casually mentioned him. Really, I angrily knocked on his door as soon as I left Machi's apartment. It only made me angrier that she opened the door with a small cheerful smile that immediately withered when she saw me. I hated the faded apron she had on and the stupid strawberry-printed dishrag she still held in her hands. Maybe it wasn't my presence exactly but whatever furious expression I had, but her eyes widened nervously and she took a small step back into his house.

"Y-Yes, c-can I help you?"

"Get out of my way."

I wasn't in the mood to deal with her stuttering niceties, so I admit I shoved her away. She fell backwards, but she caught herself quickly on the wall, not that that made any difference to him. He had stepped into the room at the moment and had looked appalled that I had had the audacity to push her. He may have been angrier had he not been so completely overwhelmed with concern. I do acknowledge that I pushed her, but I did not push her with strength to warrant such excessive worry. He really hadn't needed to rush over to her like that, suds still clinging to the back of his hands from washing the dishes probably. He steadied her with both hands, unnecessarily since she was standing perfectly fine on her own, granted she was still huddled against the wall. It's not like I pushed her into the wall. I really only nudged her. It was her poor balance really that made her stumble, so really he didn't need to check her over as though I had just stabbed her, and he really didn't need to shoot me a glare.

"What do you think you're doing, Kakeru?"
"What? She's fine."

"She's pregnant!" he hissed.

I think I laughed, especially at the way his eyes widened a second afterward when he realized he had furiously blurted out something he probably hadn't intended to let slip to me. How uncharacteristic of him. He shifted so he was angled just the tiniest bit in front of her, as if he thought I'd do something dastardly now that I knew of the thing growing inside her. Apparently she didn't notice or threw caution to the wind because she hopped forward in front of him. She bowed to me, hands folded neatly and head angled down.

"Please don't blame Yuki-kun! It's my fault!"

"Don't get me started, tramp."

She immediately straightened up and gave me those stupid doe eyes, stuttering, "I-I—"
"What? You want to tell me you've been faithful to Yuki Sohma this whole time and admire you for that? Let me tell you, most people consider it a given that their significant other isn't going to have an affair a couple of weeks into a relationship."

Those stupid doe eyes were quickly filling with tears, making them look even larger and more stupidly pitiful. She almost looked surprised that I dared to shove her off her high horse. That I had the courage to imply that she wasn't as great as she was held out to be. Completely at a loss as to what to do now that the stupid doe eyes weren't working. It was probably the first time she was being told something that wasn't rainbows and butterflies. She probably had the conception that she was some flawless being to be heralded by the angels, someone upheld as the epitome of good. And judging by the whiteness of his knuckles, he wasn't pleased that I was questioning her spot on the altar of all that was holy. But I was ready to give them that wake up call.

"Maybe you should spend less time on your back and more time using your brain. Or even your heart. Did you even think about what you did? Do you even feel anything? Any regret? Do you even know what you did to her?"

"Yes. I have thought about what I did a lot, and I feel awful, and I'm so, so, so very sorry. I know I shouldn't have, and I… I'm sorry."

He was holding her, trying to get her to stop apologizing and bowing. I think he had a few choice words for me, but she didn't let him say them. What an angel.

"Why are you apologizing to me? You didn't do anything to me," I finally interjected.

She looked up at me, almost relieved. She misinterpreted my words as mercy. I didn't stop her because I felt bad but because her words were meaningless. Because she just didn't understand the depth of the damage she doled out. He took this opportunity to take her hand and pull her back toward his side. He stepped forward.

"You're right. She didn't do anything to you. Or Machi for that matter. I did! So why are you yelling at her?"

For a moment, my anger was completely replaced with deep hurt. The pain filled my gut and tightened my chest. I had to take a sharp intake of breath and clench my fists to force that feeling down before my eyes watered and my voice croaked. I think that was the first time my sister's loss really hit me. I mean really hit me. The magnitude of the loss. Everything had been so good for my sister. She was smiling. She was cared for. She had a happy ending in sight. She had been so happy… And it was all a lie. I don't know if my sister would ever recover. If she'd ever be able to look at life and not question that anything good in her life could be taken away at any second. But I guess he wasn't that good, if he could stand there, holding the hand of his new and pregnant girlfriend, feeling completely justified in his actions. I hope they're happy.

"How could you do that to Machi?"

He winced and looked down.

"You said you understood what she'd been through. She's been on own her own for so long. Abandoned before she should have to fend for herself. And I was so glad to find that someone was going to be there for her. So glad. And you said you understood. But if you understood, if you really understood, how could you? How could you do that to her?"

He took a deep breath before speaking quietly, "It's because I understand that I couldn't keep doing that to Machi. To keep using her. Because that's worse than being abandoned…"

"You were fine doing all of that to Machi until you could trade her in for your top choice. You don't understand at all. Or you wouldn't have abandoned her and left her alone."

"It's because I understand that I had to do that. To let her find someone who truly deserves her and cherishes her."

"That's bull crap and you know it. You didn't break up for Machi's sake. You broke up with her for your own sake. So you can be with this little floozy? Don't pretend you understand."

"It's because I understand that I can't do that to Honda-san. Or to my own child…"

I felt my fists release and I let out a deep sigh. I could only shake my head at his almost placid expression. It was as if he hadn't even experienced a loss.

"…Why can't you just take the blame?"

"I do take the blame. I hurt you, and I hurt Machi. I know that, and there isn't anything I can do to make that right. So you can be mad at me. But don't be mad at Honda-san. I'm the one who wronged your sister."

I hate him. How can he do that? Just take all the satisfaction away from being righteously angry. There had been so much that I had wanted to scream at the both of them. So much I had wanted to do. It wasn't going to be cathartic to yell and trash someone's home if they're just going to stand there and let you. That slight frown on his face told me that. He probably wouldn't have even stopped me from punching him. As long as I didn't lay a hand on his affianced. It was making me sick just looking at them. At the way she had both her hands around his as if he was the one who needed comforting.

Damn it. Couldn't he let me get some sort of justice for my little sister?

I could only glare and I turned and stalked out the still open door to leave. I kicked over a potted strawberry plant on their porch, making her flinch as it shattered. I stood there a moment before I called over my shoulder, "Hey, are you sure it's yours?"

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She turned and dashed up the stairs before Yuki could do more than open his mouth to retort. He shot me another glare before calling after her. I walked myself out their walkway. I could imagine her sobbing, belly-flopped on a bed when he walks in with a quietness and gentleness he never showed around Machi. I could imagine him delicately taking her into his arms and stroking her back until she settled down enough to coherently assure him the thing in her womb was his after minutes of breathlessly trying to choke out those words. I could see her clawing at his shirt desperately whispering, "You believe me, don't you?"

And I'd bet he does genuinely believe her because he's a gullible fool, and she's excellent, the best I've seen, at cajoling sympathy out of everyone. They probably happily "made love" afterwards. But really, he ought to wonder sometimes if, deep inside, he really believes her. Kyo Sohma does not seem the type to react pleasantly to betrayal, and perhaps she's running to the nearest fool, and who easier than Prince Charming to coax into raising a child that's questionably his? I'm sure even if a orange-haired baby were born, she'd be able to induce him to stay with her with her teary doe eyes, and he'd probably be sickeningly happy to do so. She's the queen of guile. My sister never stood a chance.

The evil stepsister won. She had stolen Prince Charming from Cinderella. It's funny. We had all thought it was hilarious that she had been chosen to play the evil stepsister in one of the class plays. But I had always felt it fit somehow. And now I knew it fit. She's bad at being overtly mean. I give her that. She doesn't call people names or push them. But what she does… I may say it's worse. The truly bad usually don't sink to such childish bullying. They're selfish. They're manipulative. They're callous. And they don't care. They take. And they take. Until there's nothing left. And people are happy to give anything to them because they're that good. And the foolish Prince was just too glad to trample all over my sister's heart just to appease the selfish witch.

He doesn't even know what he did to her... Doesn't even know how I found her yesterday, ripping all the maple leaves from the trees in my backyard and throwing them in a small bonfire she had built with tears in her eyes.

And she's even worse. She's the selfish bitch I always thought she was. She pretended to be happy and innocent and selfless, but it's a lie to trick people into loving her. She wallows in her misery, convinced no one can suffer as she does. Her mother dies, and no one can understand her pain. Komaki may yell at me for thinking that, but now I know it's true. Her boyfriend grows less attentive after the years, as all boyfriends must, and she proclaims herself the poorest maiden in existence. So she has to go steal the one thing going right in Machi's life: her boyfriend. Of course, Tohru Honda already has his heart, but that's not enough for her. She doesn't just want his love; she wants him, his body. I'm not talking about the stupid sex she wrought from him. I'm talking about his whole being. She thinks only she can have him. He can't be Machi's, not even in name. Why else the sudden invitation to witness her claim to his name?

He's hers now. His love. His body. By law. By God! She won!

She left nothing for Machi except for an abhorrence of maple trees and strawberries. And a deep conviction that she is unlovable.

I heard she had a particularly difficult labor experience. I'm glad for that. She deserves it.