Title: Steele Talking It Over

Rating: T (PG-13)

Description: This story takes place after the lights go out at Ashford Castle. Feedback is much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters; if I did, they would've had a much better ending than Season 5. This is all for entertainment, folks

Part I

Laura felt the cool Irish damp on her skin as she rolled over in the four-post bed and stretched her arms over her head, blinking her tired eyes and letting them rest on the form beside her. Remington Steele – her Remington Steele, or Harry, as she had just recently taken to calling him in intimate moments – was resting comfortably to her right. His arm was draped over her hip and he had a contented look as he slept.

Laura had always loved watching him sleep; it was then that she could show the tender side – the love, if she was honest –that she often worked so hard to hide from him during their waking moments. Fear had been her master for too long, she thought, glad that, after last night, the hiding was over.

It hadn't been easy at first, but nothing ever came easy for them anyhow, so she hadn't expected this moment to be any different. He carried her up the stairs, encircled her in his arms and it felt like the whole rest of their lives depended on that very moment. But the moment shattered as the phone rang for the second time.

"Damn," Laura sighed, closing her eyes.

"Do you want to answer it?" he asked, and she could see the concerned look on his face. They both knew who was calling.

"No," she said firmly.

They leaned in for a kiss, but the phone persisted and both were distracted by the intrusion. Steele pulled away first.

"Oh, bloody hell," he whispered angrily. "Something always seems to get in our way."

"I know, I know," she sighed. "I'll take care of it."

She reached for the door, but Steele gently reached for her arm.

"No," he rasped. "I've got it."

Laura turned to protest but saw the fire in his eyes and hesitated. She knew this was mostly her fault, and wanted to set the record straight once and for all. But that look told her it was his turn to confront the issue.

"I'm right behind you," she replied, holding his hand, refusing to leave him. Steele only nodded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as he walked out of the room with her and made his way down the stairs.

"Hello Antony," he said as he picked up the phone his jaw clenched. Laura leaned on his shoulder, both in concern and curiosity at what was being said on the other end.

"Steele," Roselli replied curtly. "You're one hell of a gambler, you know that?"

"If I recall correctly, I believe I saved your hide – for the third time," Steele replied tightly. "So to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call, mate?"

"My condolences … about your friend Chalmers," he said. "Just saw the news. Looks like he got a good send-off."

"Yes, well, as much as I appreciate your sympathy, I'd appreciate it even more if you'd stop tying up our phone line. That is, if you've said all you need to say."

"You know, I don't get you, Steele. You could've easily let me hang on those charges, and yet you risked a lot to get me out of it. Why?"

"Let's just say I don't like seeing innocent men go to prison, bad Karma and all," Steele said.

"Maybe," Tony continued, "but now you've still got me around, and I already told Laura I'm not giving up on her. You may be her boss, but I think she's a bit confused about her feelings toward you."

Overhearing Tony's words, Laura sighed, closing her eyes and squeezing Remington's arm in encouragement. Steele glanced back at her before responding.

"Laura's her own woman, Antony, and she can make her own decisions. She has for a long time."

"Yes she can. She just needs to see the bigger picture."

"The bigger picture, mate, is that you're enamored with her but wouldn't care two licks about what happened to her family, her job or her emotional well-being if you had to go under cover again."

"Oh, and you care so much more, Steele," Tony contended, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Getting her into a fake marriage that could cost her her job, her family and her emotional well-being, all to keep you from being deported. I might've been outta line with that talk about you bein' lower than a pimp, but that still sounds pretty damn selfish to me."

"It's none of your business," Steele said flatly, and Laura could see the fire in his eyes.

"The hell it is. God knows what you've put her through all those years. Years is all you've got on me. Laura even said herself that if I'd come into the picture a year earlier, things might've been different, so don't go all high and mighty on me, Steele."

At his words, Steele turned to Laura, who was looking down at the floor. Desperate to reassure him, she met his gaze and could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes. She entwined his fingers with hers and squeezed his hand gently. Remembering countless times when his words and actions had been taken out of context, Steele gave her the benefit of the doubt and directed his anger at the man on the other end of the phone.

"You're right, Antony, I have put her through a lot. I don't deserve her any more than you do. But I'm clear on my intentions towards her – I am not leaving her - not now, not two years from now when immigration will finally be off our backs, and not ever. Do you understand?"

Laura felt her heart speed up as tears pricked her eyes. It wasn't so much the words that moved her, it was the way he said them - through clenched teeth with a hitch in his voice – the way his brow furrowed in determination, the way his blue eyes clouded over with his own unshed tears. It blew her away. She had never felt so loved in her life, and he hadn't even said those three words she longed to hear. 'Maybe words are overrated after all,' she thought.

"You're serious?" Tony asked, half-shocked at Steele's reply. "You're really going to stay married to her? Or are you just saying that to get me off your back."

"If I wanted you off my back, I would've sent you back to Fitch in a box, mate," Steele replied coldly.

"Well … what if Laura doesn't want to stay married to you? Like you said, she's her own woman."

"Why don't you come back in two years and find out?" Steele retorted.

"You can count on it," Tony said in defiance. "I don't wanna see her lose her job over your sorry ass, and I suppose I owe you both for savin' my hide. But don't think this is over."

"Two years is a long time, Antony. I wouldn't waste it pining over my wife."

"I hear you, Steele, but once this immigration mess is clear, I'll be back, just to make sure she hasn't wasted two years with a con-man. And if I find she has, you'll wish you were never born, mate."

"You don't know Laura as well as you think you do, Antony," Steele half-laughed. "If I were to cross her, you won't be able to find whatever's left of me once she's through." Laura gave Steele a small eye-roll, smiling at the statement.

"Fair enough, Steele. Enjoy the rest of your … honeymoon."

"I intend to, Antony. Have a good two years."

"Likewise, Steele."

With that, the other end went silent and Steele put down the phone. They both looked at each other again, then at the staircase.

"Well, I don't think we should be getting any more unexpected phone calls," Steele began, pulling Laura close.

"We're going to have to talk about things," she sighed.

"Laura, please," he half-begged, "I just want to be with you tonight."

"I do, too," she said softly, "but I need you to know I never did anything with Tony."

"I know," he said, somewhat surprised at her need to reassure him.

"I mean, what I said about if he'd been here a year earlier …" she trailed off, unsure of what she meant at the time herself. "I just want to clear the air a bit."

"If I recall correctly, the last time we did that there were Batakas involved and it did not end well," Steele began uneasily.

"That was different," Laura replied, her hands coming to his chest, resting over his heart. "I'm facing my demons, or at least I'm trying. And I think you are, too. But after what you said to Tony, I … I want you to know the truth."

"What truth?" Steele swallowed.

"This whole time, since I found you in that church ready to marry Clarissa, I had been so angry with you." She said it so softly, and the look in her eyes showed nothing but compassion, that Steele wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly.

Sensing his confusion, Laura clarified. "I was angry, very angry with you, for not coming to me about the immigration matter, for not trusting that we would be able to figure something out together, as a team. Maybe I wouldn't have married you under those circumstances, but I would've found a way to keep us together. Instead, you did things on your own. I suppose I just hoped you valued my intelligence more than that."

"I'm sorry," he choked out, searching for words. It was one of the few times she could remember him apologizing, and the sincere look in his eyes washed away any residual anger she may've had left.

"I know," she rasped. "I just wish I knew why, after all we've been through, you felt like you couldn't come to me."

"Laura," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I was so scared. After London, I couldn't bear the thought of going back to the life of a nomad. When I was on my own, I didn't know where to go, who to listen to, who I could trust. You're the only one, the only one in my entire bloody life, who hasn't double-crossed me. Even Daniel …" he trailed off, ducking his head and swallowing the lump that formed in his throat at the mention of his father's name.

"Hey," Laura whispered, bringing a hand to his face and caressing his cheek. "I understand."

"No," he said, shaking his head and moving away from her embrace. "No, I was foolish. I saw the papers, I saw Keyes' name, and I panicked. I didn't think ahead. Just moving to the next step. One step at a time, I thought…"

He began gesticulating with his arms and getting wound up, as he often did when he was on the brink of desperation. She'd seen it many times.

"Laura, all I could think of was that I would be deported and you would be ruined if I didn't find a way to fix it," he continued. "I'd already put you through so much, and almost lost your confidence during that whole forgery debacle. I thought I'd lose you for sure if I didn't fix things this time around."

"Then why didn't you just say so, instead of acting like you blamed me for all this?" Laura sighed in frustration, remembering the conversation they had just before their sham marriage on a fishing boat. Steele winced at the memory and shook his head.

"Laura, in the limo, on the way to the Church, I was falling back on old habits, pushing off responsibility, blaming you for my phony passport when I was the fraud all along. I was the one who assumed the identity of Remington Steele all those years ago, and then I went off half-cocked around the world trying to find my identity, something I could give you to show you I was more than just a…a… a Langston Cruise. Truth is, if it wasn't for you, I'd be stranded in London with no name and no real purpose anymore."

Steele sighed, calming and meeting Laura's gaze. Laura could only stare in amazement as Steele finally poured himself out to her. She was unprepared for the onslaught and already had let a few tears escape. Noticing this, Steele walked toward her again, cupping her head in his hands.

"I didn't want to use you, Laura," he rasped. "I … I had hoped one day …"

Steele couldn't finish his sentence, and instead leaned in to kiss her gently. Laura returned the kiss passionately, desperate to show him she had forgiven any mistakes along the way. When they broke apart, Steele reached into his pocket.

"I bought this back in February," he rasped, "long before the ugly matter with immigration reared its head."

Laura looked down to see a simple yet stunning diamond ring in his hand. She was shocked and swallowed hard.

"It's … it's beautiful," she managed to say. "But … why?"

Steele laughed nervously. "The night after we played house at your sister's, I was sitting at home and I realized just how quiet it was. And how I didn't want it to be that way anymore."

"You could've just turned on another old movie," she half-joked, annoyed at herself for not finding better words to say at such a moment. For someone who wanted to talk, she often found herself to be the one tripping over words.

"I did," he replied with an embarrassed smile, fidgeting with the ring. "But it wasn't the noise as much as it was the loneliness. Those kids … I'd always wanted to be part of a family, and for a brief moment in my life I felt like I truly belonged to one. And it got me thinking …"

"About us?"

"About you, about me, about little "us's" running around the office driving you crazy," he laughed, turning away. "It's not the first time I thought of it, but it was the first time I realized I wanted it."

"Is that why you asked me about children?" Laura swallowed, putting some of the past year's events into perspective.

"Not as subtle as I thought, eh?" Steele laughed. "I was testing the waters a bit, seeing where you stood with things. I mean, I know you've spoken in the abstract about having children, but if it wasn't something you wanted I'd understand."

"But you'd be disappointed."

"Perhaps," he sighed.

"Who are you?" she smiled, fighting back tears. This time when she asked the question, it was no longer said in frustration but in amazement.

"Hopefully the man you want to spend the rest of your days with, eh?" he grinned, holding up the ring.

"You know you're scaring the hell out of me right now, don't you?" Laura said nervously, fighting old fears.

"I'm scaring you? I've been holding onto this bloody ring for seven months!"

"Point taken," she smiled, bringing him in for a kiss.

"Can I take that as a yes, or are you going to keep me guessing?"

She took the ring from his hand, pulling off the one that she always wore on her right and replacing it with the diamond.

"Umm … it looks great, Laura, but, uh…"

"I know, it's on the wrong hand," she said with a smile, but he could see her brow begin to crinkle. "You know how devastating it was for me when my father left…"

"Laura, I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"It's, it's not about that," she swallowed. "I mean, you have no idea how happy you've just made me, how much I want the same things you do, with you. But I'm afraid …"

"Of what? Of me?"

"Of what marriage can do to people. I've seen too many broken homes in my experience, including my own. I've lost faith in a piece of paper holding two people together."

"It's not the paper that holds them together, Laura," Steele said softly. "In my limited experience, it seems to me it's the people. Just look at Donald and Frances."

"I'm not my sister," she sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, thank God for that, because I didn't fall for her – I fell for you," he said, bringing a hand under her chin, encouraging her to look at him. "I understand you don't want to abandon your work, or spend your days in the kitchen. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't mind enjoying some down time here and there and whipping up a home-cooked meal."

They both began laughing, and Steele walked Laura to the stairs, taking her hands in his and sitting down with her.

"I know the … concept … of marriage is quite foreign for both of us-"

"Oh, I don't know," Laura shrugged, shaking her head. "We've been putting up the front for this long, and we certainly have been fighting like a married couple for years."

Steele grinned, but continued in seriousness. "Laura, what I'm trying to say is that when I think of … of being a father, I think of two things – you and commitment. Growing up without any real family to speak of, I could never bring a child into the world without knowing for sure he would grow up with two loving, committed parents."

"I feel the same," Laura said. "Except for one thing."

"Oh?" Steele said, arching an eyebrow nervously.

"Who's to say it's going to be a he?" she smiled.

"Semantics," he laughed in relief. "Boy or girl, doesn't matter to me."

Laura shook her head as her smile broadened. "I can't believe we're talking about having children without even having … you know…"

"I do," he said, waggling his eyebrows. He still eyed the ring on her right hand, wondering what it meant to her ultimately.

"Well, what the hell," she replied almost flippantly, pulling the ring off her right hand and holding her left out to him. He sat there, somewhat confused by her reaction. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to treat this lightly, but I'm having a hard time believing it myself," she started nervously. "Would you … do the honors?" she asked hesitantly, handing him the ring.

Steele smiled. "Might as well do this properly," he said, his hand shaking a bit. She was surprised at his nervousness, but found it charming at the same time. Taking her left hand in his, he slowly put on the ring. "Now you can tell your mother I made an honest woman of you," he smiled.

"Honest woman? Last time I checked we hadn't gotten past second base, Mr. Steele."

"Well, we'll have to remedy that, won't we?" he replied, scooping her up in his arms again.

"You know, I didn't even finish what I wanted to tell you before …"

"No more talk," he insisted, kissing her slowly as they made their way up the stairs.

TO BE CONTINUED…