You thought that I hated you. They all thought that I hated you. I told them that I was in love with her and you stole her away from me. It was a lie, a lie that I had to force past my lips, making me believe it. It was the only way for me to kill you, to spin that web of lies and deceit, because it would be so much easier if I were to believe that I hated you. And I think, once upon a time, I did hate you.
You never knew that I loved you, did you? No, of course not. Everyone knows that I loved her, Lucrecia. You thought that I was in love with Lucrecia. And you hated me for it.
It was a triangle of pain and despair. I was in love with you, you were in love with her, and she was too infatuated with my looks to notice anything else. It was ironic, so very ironic, but it was a bitter irony and one that I shall despise for the rest of my life.
And it would be a long life I have in front of me, without you there, as you should be. You gave this life to me, perhaps as your revenge, knowing that I would live for all of eternity without the one I love by my side. You thought that one would be her, but it was you I always thought about. Your punishment for me was complete, just not the way you thought it would be.
If I were to tell any of them that I loved you, they would've looked at me in horror. But they never met the real you, they never worked by your side, protecting you as you worked on your dreams. You hated my presence when the President made me your personal bodyguard, but it was a blessing for me. Anything to stay close to you.
You thought yourself as someone ugly, and that was the reason Lucrecia didn't love you. But don't you understand? Doesn't anyone understand? It was your mind that was the truly beautiful thing. You were a genius, and I was fascinated with you. Compared to Lucrecia's physical beauty, yet vapid mind, you were like a shining star. That was what really attracted me to you; your sharp mind and your passion for science and learning.
I hated her. Oh how I hated her. She was the one who took your attention away from me. Yet, it was so twisted as she forsook your attention in order to shower her charms on me, the one who seeks for your acknowledgement. It was so messed up, but I took an almost sadistic pleasure at using her to gain your focus. I hated her, yet I was grateful to her, because somehow in the depth of my mind, I knew that you would not have noticed me at all if she wasn't there to bring me that spotlight.
I was desperate, so desperate for you. I would take anything from you, even those glares of hate, because then I know that you're looking at me. Finally, at me and only me.
And then, you recreated me. I knew it was almost an act of revenge that you chose me to be your test subject, but even then, I was glad. You have given me a part of you to carry on for eternity. I was sure that was your point; a torturous reminder as to who made me into a demon, but it worked in such a different way for me. You are my brother, my father, my enemy, and the one that I would love for all of eternity. But to you, I am only the one you hate.
And now, I have to kill you. I have to force these lies out and try to spin that web of lies, but it was so hard to do so, and I find my web breaking every time. But, even as I stand here now before you, aiming my gun at your heart, I knew that Lucrecia was the one you are thinking of. Your eyes still reflected hate for me.
I wanted to say sorry, but I can't. The shot rang clear and loud in the final silence, shattering your heart just like how it shattered mine.
~ * * ~
I have just one thing to say. I do not like this fanfic. I hate how every paragraph is all jumbled together, and that there were so many repetitive parts in there, but I needed to get the idea out to my head as soon as possible before I go crazy. I do not have great love for the pairing, I am merely experimenting with the "what if"'s under the surface, so do not flame. Tomorrow, or someday when my head is moving correctly, I will either rewrite this or write another version of it. Until then, I have this one final statement. This fic is crap. .
You never knew that I loved you, did you? No, of course not. Everyone knows that I loved her, Lucrecia. You thought that I was in love with Lucrecia. And you hated me for it.
It was a triangle of pain and despair. I was in love with you, you were in love with her, and she was too infatuated with my looks to notice anything else. It was ironic, so very ironic, but it was a bitter irony and one that I shall despise for the rest of my life.
And it would be a long life I have in front of me, without you there, as you should be. You gave this life to me, perhaps as your revenge, knowing that I would live for all of eternity without the one I love by my side. You thought that one would be her, but it was you I always thought about. Your punishment for me was complete, just not the way you thought it would be.
If I were to tell any of them that I loved you, they would've looked at me in horror. But they never met the real you, they never worked by your side, protecting you as you worked on your dreams. You hated my presence when the President made me your personal bodyguard, but it was a blessing for me. Anything to stay close to you.
You thought yourself as someone ugly, and that was the reason Lucrecia didn't love you. But don't you understand? Doesn't anyone understand? It was your mind that was the truly beautiful thing. You were a genius, and I was fascinated with you. Compared to Lucrecia's physical beauty, yet vapid mind, you were like a shining star. That was what really attracted me to you; your sharp mind and your passion for science and learning.
I hated her. Oh how I hated her. She was the one who took your attention away from me. Yet, it was so twisted as she forsook your attention in order to shower her charms on me, the one who seeks for your acknowledgement. It was so messed up, but I took an almost sadistic pleasure at using her to gain your focus. I hated her, yet I was grateful to her, because somehow in the depth of my mind, I knew that you would not have noticed me at all if she wasn't there to bring me that spotlight.
I was desperate, so desperate for you. I would take anything from you, even those glares of hate, because then I know that you're looking at me. Finally, at me and only me.
And then, you recreated me. I knew it was almost an act of revenge that you chose me to be your test subject, but even then, I was glad. You have given me a part of you to carry on for eternity. I was sure that was your point; a torturous reminder as to who made me into a demon, but it worked in such a different way for me. You are my brother, my father, my enemy, and the one that I would love for all of eternity. But to you, I am only the one you hate.
And now, I have to kill you. I have to force these lies out and try to spin that web of lies, but it was so hard to do so, and I find my web breaking every time. But, even as I stand here now before you, aiming my gun at your heart, I knew that Lucrecia was the one you are thinking of. Your eyes still reflected hate for me.
I wanted to say sorry, but I can't. The shot rang clear and loud in the final silence, shattering your heart just like how it shattered mine.
~ * * ~
I have just one thing to say. I do not like this fanfic. I hate how every paragraph is all jumbled together, and that there were so many repetitive parts in there, but I needed to get the idea out to my head as soon as possible before I go crazy. I do not have great love for the pairing, I am merely experimenting with the "what if"'s under the surface, so do not flame. Tomorrow, or someday when my head is moving correctly, I will either rewrite this or write another version of it. Until then, I have this one final statement. This fic is crap. .