Welcome back, people! This is the chapter where things start to get really weird, so, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Look, I put this on the last chapter. NO. I. DON'T. OWN. POKEMON.

Enjoy!

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Mew let out a groan of irritation, tapping his foot impatiently on the shiny gold surface of Palkia's temple, fuming. The small pink cat glanced up at the sky. A pale rose colour had begun to spread across the horizon, signaling that it was nearing nighttime. The tiny Pokemon scowled. This was getting ridiculous.

"What's taking him so long?" Mew muttered, glaring at the fine silver doors of Palkia's temple.

Finally, his patience ran out. Floating angrily over to the entrance, he pounded on the door, sky blue eyes narrowed.

"Open up Palkia!" He shouted as loud as he could, which wasn't very loud at all. "Come on, Dialga promised to take us to take us to meet some hot babes today!"

Only dead silence met his cries. Mew made another groan of irritation. Where the hell was he?! Normally, Palkia would be huge on an idea like this, but today, he didn't even seem to want to go.

"Maybe he left already..." A lazy voice droned out from behind him.

Mew froze in surprise. Flipping around, his sky coloured eyes met the tired green of a cerulean spotted legendary, it's oddly shaped body awkwardly thrust over the soft, fluffy form of a cloud, looking about ready to fall asleep.

"Oh... Hi Thunderous..." Mew muttered bitterly. This was the last thing he needed.

"Huuuhhh...?" Thunderous yawned, rubbing his eyes with his sharp claws, which didn't seem to affect him in the slightest.

The cat sighed. "I said hello!"

"What was thaaat...?" The thunder god's eyes slowly began to fall shut.

"H-EL-LO! HELLO!"

No use. Thunderous had already drifted off to sleep, snoring in a ridiculously obnoxious manner.

Mew felt like banging his head on a wall.

He turned back to the entrance, feeling anger rise up inside him. This meant war.

The tiny pink cat Pokemon stuck its finger out and waggled it left to right, signifying the use of one of his favorite moves, metronome.

Mew wasn't 100% sure why he was using this move, when he did, in fact, have the ability to use any move he wanted, any time he wanted.

But nonetheless, he found himself depending on such a luck-based move on something as, um... 'Important' as this.

"Please be good... Please be good..." Mew whispered, crossing his tiny rose fingers as he waited.

The was a long pause, before an odd, monotone voice sounded in his head.

"Body Slam," Mew went stiff with horror.

"Oh fu-" He cried as he was slammed heavily into the hard metal wall, full force. Without intending to, the tiny cat Pokèmon's body drew back, still floating in the air, and repeatedly smashed itself into the door.

Pain coursed through Mew's small body, almost unbearable, as he let out a barely stifled cry of pain. Finally, the motion stopped, leaving the pink legendary lying on the ground, writhing in agony.

"Oh sweet myself, why?" He moaned, shuddering.

"I believe you mean, 'Oh sweet Arceus'!" A loud, booming voice chuckled from the clouds, laced with a thundering quality.

Mew pulled himself off the ground, glaring up at the sky. "Hey, shut up Asswipe!" He yelled.

There was another irritating laugh, but the god of Pokemon fell silent never less.

"He's NOT the god of Pokemon!" Mew yelled at the author.

Whatever.

The pink cat straightened up, grumbling curses under his breath. With one pale arm, he dusted himself off.

"You know what?" He growled, fury rolling off him in waves. "No. That's it. Palkia is going to come with me, whether he likes it or not." The legendary Pokemon raised a hand furiously. "Screw this, Draco Metor, GO!"

Mew felt a blast of cold air hit him in the back, nearly sending him flying forwards. Huge, light-brown boulders fell from the sky, which had turned an odd aqua blue, surrounded in a mystical veil.

The meteors hit the silver door with a loud "CRASH!" causing it to buckle under the pressure and smash into a wall in the back of the temple.

However, even though what Mew had originally planned to do was accomplished, the rocks continued to fall. Huge dents were impaled deep into the ground, ceiling and the rest of the palace-like structure.

Mew tensed as he watched, knowing this would probably cost a butt-load, and that he'd have to give up next week's allowance to pay for it.

Who was giving him that said money? Nobody knows….

Or, really cares….

Finally, the storm of meteors stopped, leaving the floating legendary in the middle of a huge pile of rubble.

Mew looked around behind him, praying nobody had seen that. Thankfully, the only Pokemon anywhere in a five-mile radius was Thunderous, who continued to sleep, despite the fact that he was crushed by a pillar.

"Not my fault," Mew whispered in his ear, dropping a few Pokes before levitating inside the damaged temple.

Even though it was covered in dust, dented beyond belief, and had the terrible smell of something burning (which Mew suspected was coming from the small fire that had started in the corner, which he totally had nothing to do with), Palkia's home was absolutely stunning. The pillars, although about ready to fall over, gleamed a gorgeous golden colour. The dirty floor still sparkled a wonderful bronze, which the small cat found he could see his reflection in it.

Palkia himself, however, was nowhere to be seen.

"You've got to be kidding me!' Mew growled. "All this work and he's not EVEN FREAKING HOME?! What the hell?!"

A sudden muffled laugh stopped the legendary's cries of rage, causing him to freeze. He turned around, blinking in confusion as he found himself unable to pinpoint the location. Another giggle, this one more feminine and high-pitched rang out shortly afterwards. Mew narrowed his eyes. He knew that laugh.

The obnoxious chuckling continued to echo around the palace, proud and clear. The pink cat turned around to see what looked like a small door to his right, the source of the noise hidden behind its presence.

Mew was stumped. He though for sure that Palkia had just recently given him the tour of his house! And by recently, he meant a few thousand years ago, but still! He knew for sure that his friend had most definitely not shown him this room. And when had Palkia ever said anything about 'renovations'?

He shook his head, suspicion flowing through him as he made his way over to the room, frowning in disapproval. As he approached, the sudden sound of voices hit his tiny ears, both hushed and speaking in whispers.

"Do you think anyone's going to find out?" One of them, defiantly the female from earlier, said, sounding both exited and concerned.

"Oh course not," The other assured, followed by a light chuckle. "Nobody ever comes and visits me, and even if someone did, this rooms top secret, not even Mew knows about here!"

Mew narrowed his eyes, gritting his teeth together in rage. There was no doubt about it. That was Palkia.

"You do know you left the door open, right?" She asked, before giggling.

"…What was that now?"

"PALKIA!" Mew screamed at the top of his lungs, floating quickly into the room. He was about ready to snap with rage.

Palkia visibly froze, before quickly turning around, careful to keep his back in front of some object. A nervous smile was set upon his face as he gave the pink Pokemon a quickly little wave.

"O-oh, hi Mew!" He exclaimed in an over-the-top tone, trying not to shrink at Mew's murderous expression. "Fancy…. Seeing you here!"

Mew narrowed his eyes to slits, growling. The entire room was illuminated with an odd, light coloured glow, a faint humming sound filling the air, both of which seemed to be coming from behind the space dragon. As the minute legendary rose to get a glance, Palkia followed suit, sweating a little.

"Fancy seeing me here, eh?" He literally snarled. "Where were you?!"

The dragon blinked. "Uh… Here. Where else?"

Mew looked like he was about to drop-kick a small Lilipup right here and now. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET ME AND DIALGA TO HANG OUT WITH SOME HOT BABES!"

Palkia looked utterly confused for a moment, before realization flooded through his features. With a loud groan, he smacked himself in the forehead with an auditable 'thud!'

"Oh my Ar- I mean uh, oh gosh Mew!" He hastily corrected himself, not wanting to delve deeper into the smaller creature's temper. "I'm so sorry! I-I uh, I completely forgot!"

"BULLCRAP!" Mew screeched, causing him to flinch.

"Oh lighten up, Mewsy!" A clear, female voice rang down from Palkia's shoulder. "You used to be able to have fun! What happened to those days?"

Mew blinked in surprise as a small, green, fairy-like Pokemon appeared from behind the space dragon's right shoulder, blue eyes sparkling with laugher. With a soft giggle, she leapt away from Palkia, her tiny white wings fluttering as she floated down to eye level with the pink legendary.

Mew felt his heart tighten. "C-Celebi?! What are you doing here?!"

Celebi shrugged, grinning ear-to-ear. "I thought dear Palkia was getting lonely, so I went to go visit him. Is that a crime?"

"O-of course not!" Mew winced at the accusing tone in her voice. Shaking his head, he went on. "However, it is a crime that Palkia left me on my own! Seriously, why?!"

Palkia sighed. "Look Mew, I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to go on your own today, alright?"

"NO! Not alright!" Mew snapped. "If you're not there, who's going to assure the local sex icons that I am, in fact, not a female?!" He spat the last words out bitterly.

"Can't you just get Dialga to do that?" Celebi inquired, clearly getting bored.

"Dialga has no memory, he's not even sure what gender I am,' The small cat muttered crossly, before slapping himself across the face. He needed to stay on topic!

He floated over to Palkia, who shifted awkwardly. The tiny pink Pokemon gave his fellow legendary a suspicious look, trying to peak over Palkia's shoulder. Seeing this, Celebi flew over, covering Mew's line of vision with a small frown.

"What's up with you lately?" She questioned. "I liked you better before! You've just been pissy ever since Arceus won in the 'Who's your daddy?: Dance competition!'"

"You've gotta admit, space goat's got some moves." Palkia nodded in agreement.

Mew's eye twitched. "I'M NOTPISSY!"

The tiny creatures cry of rage shocked the space dragon to the point where he backed up in fear, knocking the idea he had behind him onto the ground with a thud. Mew blinked in surprise, watching in curiosity as a light blue crystal, with a light tint of pink, faintly glowing in the dim light of the room, rolling forward towards him, stopping at him feet.

Celebi made a move to grab it, but was help back by some unknown force, most likely one of Mew's numerous physic attacks.

The pink Pokemon starred down at the orb, blinking in confusion.

"Palkia, is this your Lustrous Orb?" He questioned, not looking up.

Palkia swallowed nervously, casting Celebi a quick glance. "Umm… Yes?"

Mew's eyes widened in horror as he starred down, mouth falling agape. "A-and you use this to see into other dimensions, right?"

The space dragon nodded anxiously. He could already tell that this wasn't going to end well. Beside him, Celebi shuffled fearfully, looking awkward.

Mew couldn't help himself. His rage finally exploded. "YOU IDIOT!" He screeched, shuddering viciously. The other two legendaries visibly shrunk. "YOU SENT GOLD TO THE ENGLISH TRANSLATED POKEMON GREEN! WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THAT?!"

"What didn't he do?" Celebi pointed out, surprisingly calm.

Mew blinked. "Good point, but still, HE'S A DEXHOLDER! DID YOU NOT STOP TO THINK THAT HE MIGHT BE, OH I DON'T KNOW, IMPORTANT?!"

"When has Gold ever been important?" Palkia questioned, hoping to distract Mew.

"….Another good point, BUT SERIOUSLY, WHY?!"

"Uh…." Palkia blinked, searching his mind desperately for a reasonable answer. "I was uh… Well you see…I…." Mew's gaze grew sour. "I…. I was bored." He admitted with a sigh.

There was a moments pause.

"You…. Were bored."

There was a short pause as Palkia nervously shook his head, shaking a little.

"You… Were bored?!"

"Mew, he already said yes, did you not see him nod?" Celebi looked utterly confused.

"YOU WERE BORED!" Mew couldn't believe what he heard. "YOU SENT GOLD TO THE FREAKING WORLD OF HORROR BECAUSE….. YOU WERE BORED?! I MEAN, WHAT THE FU-"

Celebi quickly floated up to Mew's level, slapping her small green hands over his mouth, silencing his shouts.

"Sorry, Mew-bear, but it looks like visiting hours are over, you'll have to visit tomorrow, okay?" She told him in an overly friendly voice, smiling brightly as she lead him out the large golden door. "Have a nice day!"

Mew glared up at her, feeling his anger rise to a point he never thought possible. He looked up at the small green legendary with narrowed eyes, mouth opening to call out an attack….

Before he quickly closed it, seeing her eyes go wide and round, sparkling sadly and her mouth turn into a small frown.

Mew let out a sigh of defeat, pushing away from Celebi, who fist-pumped behind his back, and floated out the door, feeling his spirits one-by-one jump off a cliff.

"Alright," He sighed wistfully. "You win. For now. But don't think I'm not going to do something about this!" He smiled at their concerned expressions. "That's right, I'm going to tell-"

"Arceus?" Palkia's voice shook.

"NO! HE'S NOT THE GOD OF POKEMON!"

"I didn't say-"

"GIRATINA!" Mew interrupted spitefully. "I'm going to tell him exactly what you two have been doing, AND THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!" With an angry huff, he slammed the door behind him, grumbling curses under his breath.

"Wait Mew-" Palkia called, but it was too late, the tiny Pokemon was out of earshot. With a groan, the space dragon turned to Celebi. "Does he know about Giratina's-?"

Celebi shook her head with a joyous smile. "Nope."

Palkia paused for a moment, before he himself broke out into a grin. "Well then, my friend, looks like we bought ourselves some extra time."

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"Oh,yes! ….boys should go to travel whenever he likes. H'm! …It is said in TV! Ah,yes! Dr. Aochider living in next door came to call you!" Gold's "mother" told the very pissed off boy, eye twitching to the tune of "Old MacDonald!".

Gold let out a hiss of annoyance, glaring angrily at the heavily demented woman before him. This was too much. After the extremely creepy meeting he had had with Dr. "Aochider" (Gold absolutely LOATHED the name), he had found himself stuck in some random-ass room, where he had apparently been "operating his computer."

…Which was on the ground.

From what he had gathered, the pissy trainer had figured out he was in some kind of messed up version of the Kanto region, stuck in a world of terrible dialogue and irritating mom's with only the "Wound cure" he had taken from his "communication."

Wut.

"Yeah, yeah," Gold rolled his eyes, walking away from the accursed woman and in front of the TV, praying that MAYBE there would be some lucky program that actually decided to, I don't know…. MAKE SENSE?! "I will mom."

The boy nearly threw up his soul with shock when a giant white textbox appeared beneath his feet as he stood in front of the television.

"What the f*cking f*ck!?' Was his only thought.

"The TC film is on!" It read. "There are 4 boys going on the track…,"

"I'm also without going at once!" Gold said before he could stop himself. With a strangled gasp, he slapped his hands over his mouth, letting out an internal scream.

'It's begun…'

With a cry of utter terror, the boy ignored the bookshelf filled with "All are books of PET", and sprinted out the door, slamming it behind him.

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" I'm also fostering PET!" A random girl told him, not even noticing that the boy she was talking to was ultimately try to strangle himself. " If I were stronger, I also can replace guard."

Gold was tempted to pick up the sigh next to him, the one that had so helpfully informed him that white was a primary colour, and bash the girl's head in. In all honesty, her screams of terror would make a hell of a lot more sense then whatever the f*ck she was trying to tell him now. However, before he could so much as move, a large man walked up to him, standing a little bit too close for him not to give off the pedophile vibe.

The black haired boy was in shock at the look in his eyes. Instead of what the other peoples expressions were, which could only be described as "derp herp", this man's gaze held a look of seriousness, even concern, that made Gold think maybe, just maybe, he had found the most sane person in the entirety of this hell hole.

That wasn't saying much.

However, what little faith he had was instantly diminished as soon as the guy opened his mouth.

" What a terrific the scientific strength is!" He exclaimed, immidiatly turning to look extremely brain-dead. " It is said prop and PET can be transferred into data and transmitted by PC communication"

"…." Gold was speechless (for once).

"….:D"

"….WHAT THE FU-"

" What a terrific the scientific strength is!" The man repeated, holding the exact same expression.

"Oh god no, shut u-"

" It is said prop and PET can-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS AGAIN!"

"Be transferred into data -"

"SHUT THE HOLY F*CK UP OR I SWEAR TO ARCEUS ("Mew!") THAT I WILL CUT YOU UP, TEAR OUT YOUR LIVER AND THEN STRANGLE YOU WITH IT!"

"…."

"…."

"….What a terrific the scientific strength is!"

"….FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-" Just as Gold was about to utter a curse so terrible, so vile, that it would make the Wizard's Swear look subtle by comparison, he saw… IT.

"It?" You ask.

Get out of my story. ._.

But yes, it.

No, it's not a strip club! Silly perverted reader! Those are for Regice! No, what he saw, was freedom.

And by freedom, I mean route one, but it's more or less the same thing.

It was it.

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"For the love of myself..." Mew muttered crossly, floating huffily through snow, sleet, hail, rain and group of flying Mary-Sues. "That stupid Palkia! All I wanted to do was hang out with some hot babes, but "nooo!" He had to and send Gold to another dimension, because he was oh so bored! I really hope nobody writes a stupid fanfic based off of this…."

….F*ck.

"I believe, once again, you mean "For the love of Arceus!'" The godly hunk of a llama laughed, voice once again booming down from the sky.

"SHUT THE F*CK UP YOU NO-GOOD, TWO-TIMING, TURD EATING, FEET LICKING, TERMITE SUCKING, WASTE OF SPACE, EGOTISTICAL, STUPID, UGLY, CAT BARFING, FATASS, SNAIL LOVNG, HELPLESS, PRIDE-STEALING, HEART BREAKING, ASS MUCHING, DREAM MOLESTING, MOTHERLESS, IDIOTIC, OVERRULLING, LAZY, WOMANIZING SON OF A MAGIKARP!" Mew screamed all in one breath, breathing heavily afterwards.

"….Dude, take a chill pill."

"GO SCREW YOURSELF!"

With another loud chuckled, the space goat left…. To go do something.

Hopefully.

"Finally…" Mew sighed, feeling his already exploding blood pressure begin to calm down. "Now I can make my way to Giratina's lair and-"

"HIIIIII MEEEEEEWWW!" Another ear-splitting voice called, this time sounding closer.

Thinking it was Arceus again, the pink cat flipped around, pale blue eye twitching madly. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU-" Suddenly, he found himself face-to-face with a head of a giant green dragon, a goofy smile crossed over his red lips. "Oh. Hi Rayquaza." Mew said, much more calmly this time.

"HIII MEEEEEW!" He sang again.

"Yeah uh, hi. Anyways, I was wondering if you could help me find-"

"SOORRRY MEEEWW!" The dragon called, flipping back into the clouds.

"But I haven't even-"

"BYYE MEEEEEW!"

"But-"

"BYYYYYYE MEEEEEEEWWW!" Rayquaza repeated, voice fading away.

Mew sighed. Why did he even bother?

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There you go. This took forever, but hopefully it's worth it.

Yes, I am giving this a plot.

Kinda.

Anywho, thanks for reading, and stay tuned for chapter two:
"Giratini"!

~*Galefire*~