Of Simple Misunderstandings

Author's note: This was the result from the following prompt on my Tumblr: Barnaby being approached by ladies at the Venery who don't realize he's a pawn.

He had impersonated human behaviour for so long it was almost like second nature to him to laugh at jokes or even to show displeasure at the appropriate moments. He even supposed that was the reason most of the city's inhabitants more than tolerated him - well, mayhap the same cannot be said for the nobles - but he was… comfortable in their presence, and in turn, they in his. The innkeeper, the shopkeepers and their assistants, even the proprietor of the alehouse greeted him whenever he went to the square, and on festive occasions offered him goods at reduced prices just like he was simply another good citizen of Gran Soren.

Just like any other… human.

He had been told by his mercenary friend long ago that it was a good idea to maintain cordial relations with the inns and shops of the city if he were to make his guild a success. After all, pawns needed rest and supplies just like their human counterparts, and it would be good for the proprietors to at least knew who was the head of the Pawn Guild just in case some kind of difficulty or misunderstanding were to happen in the near future.

So when he heard that a new shop had opened in the city, he decided to pay a visit to the establishment. One of the Arisen's pawns told him that the shopkeeper was a young woman named Madeleine, and had not seem to mind pawns all that much when she had requested for the Arisen to escort her for a little while.

(Then again, merchants cared less about who you were, and were more interested in your coin.)

It was evening when he left the guild and entered the main area of the capital; the city guards were just making the last of the day rounds and calling out reminders to carry lanterns. He thought it would be best to pay a call on the new arrival at an hour when the shop was likely not to have many customers. The new shop was near The Black Cat, he recalled, and was soon lost in thought, wondering what this Madeleine was like when he heard someone call for him.

"Hello, hello!" greeted one of the two women sitting on the bench nearby. "Haven't seen you around, love. You new to the capital?"

"Why, no," he said politely, "I have been here for quite some time."

"Really?" said the blonde dressed in red, arching her left eyebrow.

"Yes. It's just that I rarely make my way here," he explained.

"And why is that? Already got someone waiting for you?" asked the other woman, who wore a blue dress.

"Several actually," he answered, thinking of the few pawns newly-emerged from the Rift who sought his advice, and was now waiting at the guild for him to finish his errand.

"My, my! So you like a little crowd, then? Didn't think you were the type, love! You're all prim and proper."

"Crowds? They do not cause me any discomfort," he replied, and then felt the very tiniest bit of confusion.

The two young women laughed, and the blonde even grinned and tapped him on the nose. "I'm sure they don't!"

"So, fancy a crowd now?" asked the other woman. "We could just pop in the back, won't take long."

"Why won't it take long?" he asked, thinking of his current errand and wondered if he had enough time for it if he were to help these women with… whatever they were looking for.

The women giggled. "Oh, my. What are you hiding underneath all those clothes, love? You must have plenty of them muscles on you, with all that stamina!" said the blue-clad woman before running her hands on the sides of his arms, a gesture which he was quite sure may be alarming for some.

He was just not quite sure whether he belonged to that category.

"So, who have you got waiting for you then? Some nice girl? Or girls? Or maybe you're into boys, eh?"

"A young warrior, a ranger and a sorceress, I believe."

"Oh! Are we into dressing up, then?"

He blinked. "We are?"

The women laughed, but not unkindly. "Your home must be an interesting one, love. You mind if we come over and make… house calls?"

"You're welcome to visit any time," he replied, "I would be pleased to assist you in making contracts. But you must excuse me, for I have an errand to run."

"Oh, run along then. Just remember to come and visit us once in a while!"

"I will. It was a pleasure meeting you both," he replied before he left for Madeleine's.

-x-x-x-

It was only when he returned that he realised just what exactly had transpired in that alley in the Venery.

The Venery.

He sighed, then immediately proceeded to do what he believed most humans in his predicament would have done.

-x-x-x-

The Arisen could do naught else but stare at the most confusing sight of the head of the Pawn Guild hitting his forehead repeatedly against the notice board. The few pawns in the guild were staring as well (and one, oddly enough, seemed to be taking notes).

"Master? Is Barnaby engaged?" asked the Arisen's loyal pawn companion.

"Ah… we'll just come back later."