Warnings: Angst, mentions of mind control.

Disclaimer: I own not the characters of this story

Ch.12- Truth and Tears

Loki stumbled behind the inventor as the later almost dragged him down the corridor, a grimace of constant pain slightly contorting his face as his injuries were jarred with each step. Tony guided Loki past the small guestroom and shoved him in his own room, guiding him to sit on the king-sized bed. Just like a mother would a misbehaving child.

"What. the. hell. No, wait."

He took a deep breath, lifting a finger to emphasise the pause as he took a swig from a leftover scotch glass on the nightstand before resuming the situation at hand.

"Just what the hell, Loki! What the fuck was that?!"

Loki just stared at him, his eyebrows pinching in confusion on his pale, haggard face.

"I do not understand the problem. I simply… apologised."

The word sounded hard to get out, like he did not know the proper way to spell it. The nerve.

"Yes, you just apologized." Tony mocked. "To a damned trained killer that wants to do nothing else than to skewer you and hang you above his fireplace as a trophy!"

Loki did not seem all that disturbed by the image the inventor presented. Not that Tony would have expected more than a raised eyebrow as a reaction, not by a damn space viking.

"As far as knowledge serves, your mortal customs are not all that different from Asgard, Stark. That an honest apology is an essential step in expressing remorse." Loki sassed back stubbornly at Tony behind clenched teeth, despite the tremors that had only then started to die down. The 'excitement' of the last few days had taken their toll on the rate of his recovery and it was very evident in the way he was hunched in on himself as he sat across the inventor.

Tony still saw red.

"Seriously, Rudolf? Seriously? Remorse?" Tony growled. "I know that I said your punishment was uncalled for, because it totally was, I know that you went through a lot of shit after your capture. You might have even regretted your actions in the meantime, I wouldn't know. But you don't simply 'express remorse' for slaughtering hundreds, thousands of people, destroying whole cities and taking over the minds of people." He explained, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in frustration. He was pissed. "It is a kind of a sensitive subject! A sorry doesn't exactly cut it!"

Loki seethed from his hunched position on the bed.

"And what would you suggest then, Stark? What would you do in my position, how would you express yourself? Shall I slice open my throat in hopes of placating the assassin?"

"Oh, so it was a strategic move now, was it?" It was Tony that raised the eyebrow at this point, expression judging. Criticising.

"That is not-"

"Everything is a goddamn strategy to you, isn't it. Every fucking move a calculation, am I right? What the shit where you expecting to happen out there, huh? Did your grand plan work out fine this time? Because that way of thinking is what landed you in the situation you're currently in, if I may kindly remind you!"

"Stark-"

"As for what I'd do in your position, well other than not causing murder and mayhem in the first place? Oh, I don't know, how about not poking the triggers of the fucking spy-part-time-assassin with major PTSD issues and a bunch of arrows?!"

"STARK!"

The broken voice cut like a blade through the rant that had taken over Tony's mouth, causing him to snap his jaw shut and lock eyes with the god. Loki had jumped upright, fists tight by his sides, trembling harder than before. His shirt was once again, stained with red spots.

"Why," he questioned in a deep, trembling drawl. It sounded like desperation. "Why do you immediately assume my remorse dishonest?"

He took a shaky step forward as he advanced towards Tony. He did not seem to mind the pain the sharp movement caused him, even though his face was getting paler by the second.

"You speak to me of carelessness, of watching my tongue among my past victims. I am fully capable of employing such a thing as common courtesy, Stark, of holding my words before the wronged. I chose not to, not because of any bloody calculations, but because that is what must be done! I see disgust in your eyes, you talk to me about remorse, about options. What do you know of my options, Stark?!

"Do you think I wanted this?" he hissed at Tony, his eyes blazing. "Do you really think I wanted all that blood on my hands? Do you really think I would travel between realms only to kill and destroy aimlessly in the name of petty domination? All this to, what? Get back at Odin and Thor?"

Tony was staring at the watery, green eyes of the furious man before him, eyes wide at the harsh words.

"Loki-"

Loki scoffed, averting his eyes.

"What am I saying. Of course you do." He chuckled an ugly, mirthless laugh as the tears started rolling down his face. Loki did not seem to notice. "I am the wayward son of Asgard, the monster of this tale. The megalomaniac with a hurt ego and a taste for revenge. What would reason have to do with anything, correct?"

"Loki, what are you implying?" Tony dared voice.

"You think I don't know how it is to be in Agent Barton's position?" He brought a hand to his temple, gripping his long hair in a white knuckled grip as he pressed them against his skull. His voice was wrecked. "To have a voice tearing my brain apart, pulling my strings at will. Scratching against my skull as it rummages through my deepest thoughts, my memories. Forcing me to kill, to rip apart enemies and friends and innocents alike. To know it was because of me, because of my weakness, because I slipped that they even had the chance to use me that way…!" His eyes found Tony's.

"You think I don't know, Stark?"

He was holding the sobs threatening to completely break him down back at this point, his knees barely holding his as he searched the inventor's gaze for his thoughts. Without his conscious command his steps had carried him right in front of the shorter man, close enough to see the light from the window reflected in the hazel eyes, even with the tears muddling his vision. He made no move to reach out to touch the other however, his shoulders hunched even more so than before and his arms kept close to his body. The fingers of his hand were still firmly fisted around the dark locks by his temple, trembling and lost.

Tony did not know what to do with his new information. He did not know how to handle this, his genius brain for once lost, unable to process the facts presented. Doubt was his initial, instinctive reaction. Why would Loki tell the truth, right? This was easier, deceit was easier. An elaborate, masterfully delivered ploy. Tony would like to believe that, he really would. Because then this white, boiling rage he could feel slowly bubbling up his stomach to choke him would have a target. But Tony knew it from the start, it was not a lie, not a ploy. Only the ugly, disturbing truth.

The blank noise that screeched between his ears in the moment of blind rage (or was it panic) stopped abruptly. It left Tony with a racing heartbeat and enough awareness to notice Loki only moments before his knees finally gave out beneath him. The god was still way too close to him, all the inventor had to do has reach out and wrap his arms around the thin torso, so he did before Loki hit the ground. Cradling the broken body close he lowered them both gently to the floor. Loki buried his face to Tony's neck, silent sobs wracking his body in painful spasms.

"Shh, Rudolf…." he mumbled against the other's hair. His hand found Loki's where it was still tangled in his locks, calloused fingers gently coaxing long and pale ones to open one by one. He did not release his hold once he had the whole hand free, pressing against it instead to slide his fingers where the hair used to be, in between Loki's. Loki held on to the hand for dear life, his grip desperate and pleading. "It's over, Princess. You are your own man now."

That earned him a laugh, albeit an empty, wet one.

"Freedom is an illusion, Stark. A cruel mind game, nothing more."

-
AN (big one...!)-
It has been... years...! How have y'all been? :D At last, the next chapter has arrived and the hiatus has been finally partially lifted~ As I've said before, I never ever abandom my stories, I juuust often take long -this was so very long!- breaks from them, to battle all the blocks that get lodged into my brain and to work on re-kindling my enthousiasm over my ideas.

It has been very long since I last wrote these two loves of mine, so I hope I did not stray too much from the original characterisation. I am working hard to get back on track with them, I assure you...!

I apologise about the short length, I meant to write more but I did not want to let you wait any more than necessary. The next half of this chapter, now dubbed ch.13, is currently on the works. A character we've been expecting for long now might also be making an appearance soon-ish hihi~

Please enjoy!

-I've made art! :D I do that, occasionally, but this time it is relevant to the story~ Here, have a hurt!Loki! (I'm a terrible person...!)
(replace dots and slashes and remove spaces to view) 7seasalcyon /a dot here/ tumblr goes here/ another dot/ com [slash] post [slash] 156268386074 [slash] loki-from-my-ironfrost-story-abominations-of-the
(I apologise for the inconvenience, but despite having the "add link" tool in the doc manager, this site does not seems to like any short of external link...!)

I you have something specific you would like me to try and art about from this story (or perhaps my other stories?) don't hesitate to drop me a comment and I'll see what I can do :)

Also, small update, considering re-writing this fic, or at least parts of it, when I have some extra time. It was the first fic I ever wrote, and the quality is considerably lower than I would like...! Haven't decided yet tho, leaving the idea aside for later revision.

Till (the hopefully sooner than possible) next time-

Cheers!

P.S. I cannot remember how to add those neat line breaks I used to, to seperate paragraphs, in this site in the Copy-paste docs...! If anyone can direct me I'd be grateful...!