Chapter Three – Secret Santas

Trick paced back and forth around his basement of goodies. He hadn't even thought about Christmas in centuries, and though he could appreciate the ideals of peace on Earth and goodwill toward men, and although he liked the idea of spending time with family and friends, when it came to gift giving he was at a loss.

Making matters worse, he had drawn Kenzi in Secret Santa.

And how was a millennia old Fae supposed to know what a 20 something year old woman would want for Christmas? He'd been putting this off, and putting it off, and putting it off, and now it was too late. Bo's dinner party was only a few hours away, and he had nothing.

And so Trick was unknowingly taking part in another human Christmas tradition – re-gifting.

He had to be careful, of course. He owned quite a few dangerous artifacts, and the last thing he needed was to give Kenzi a bracelet that would make her grow another arm. Not even Lauren could fix something like that. He made his way toward the dusty wine rack in the corner.

Booze.

The fastest way to Kenzi's heart. And liver.

Trick sighed. It would of course be difficult for him to part with any one of these wines. This was his own private stash, collected over the centuries. These were wines of the absolute highest quality, wines that he'd never be caught selling at the bar out of respect for their individual histories and lip-smackingly delicious glory.

He fully expected Kenzi to take one look, uncork a bottle, and chug one of his babies in less time that it took to get through a single verse of "Jingle Bells".

He sighed again. "This is what I get for waiting until the last minute," he muttered. He pulled a bottle from the bottom, dusted it off, and placed it into a cheerfully decorated, red and green sack. A snowman with a corncob pipe and a button nose grinned up at him from the plastic bag.

"Don't mock me, Frosty." Trick spun the bag around and went upstairs. He placed the gift on the bar and made for the front door, spinning the sign for the Dal Riata from 'open' to 'closed'. It wasn't even noon yet, but he had a few stops to make before Bo's party. He grabbed the remote from one of the tables, and turned on the TV to check the weather.

Local news had broken into regularly scheduled programming. Trick frowned deeply, wrinkles between his eyes deepening as he read the lower-third graphic; "Witnesses report 'Grinch 'Sighting – Mall Under Fire."

Trick had his phone out in five seconds, and dialed as he pulled his roll of tools from behind the bar. He set them everything on the polished hardwood, next to the Bacardi and buckthorn mead. "Hale? What in the name of Melchior is going on over there?"

"It's okay BoBo, this is a big city and I'm sure there are all kinds of places for us to snag a tree." Kenzi patted her friend on the back with one hand. She used the other to hold her phone and search for another lot. "You know…we could just go to Zellers and buy a fake one."

Bo looked at Kenzi with a mixture of disgust and pity. "No way. I used to go out every year with my parents, and we'd chop down a real tree. It HAS to be real. Fake trees are sacrilege. You need the needles and pinecones and evergreen smell for it to count."

"We could buy pine scented air freshener."

"Kenzi!"

"Alright, alright." She tapped her phone. "There's another lot about a half mile away, on Warren Road."

"Then let's go!" Bo grabbed her by the arm and practically dragged her back to the car. They paused for a minute when they reached the road – and for good reason. A huge procession of fire trucks, police cars and ambulances, all with their sirens blazing, shot past them at full speed.

Bo turned to Kenzi? "What was that about?"

"No clue."

Bo watched as the emergency vehicles disappeared around the corner. She winced. Her first instinct was to follow the cars, and see if she could be any help with whatever was going on. But they needed a tree, dammit! They needed to finish decorating! They still had to pick up the food! There were halls to be decked, and carols to be sung, and joy to spread!

"Bo?" Kenzi asked.

"Damn it all to Hell." Bo huffed, opening her car door. "Get in, Kenz. We're following them."

"Incoming!" Dyson shouted, as he and Lauren huddled behind a garbage can outside of the Orange Julius stand. A five foot tall plastic candy cane fell from the ceiling, shattering right in front of their hiding spot. Above them, the creature roared. It disappeared and reappeared again next to eight life-sized, animatronic, prancing reindeer. Fire shot from the creature's mouth like a flame thrower, igniting the deer all at once.

Bye bye Blitzen.

"I thought this guy was dead!" Lauren shouted over the sound of the smoke alarms.

"So did I!" Dyson retorted, shoving his phone into his pocket. "The Light are sending over a small army right now to deal with the fallout. This is a fucking mess."

"Shouldn't you do something?" Lauren shouted back. "You're a Shifter! What kind of Shifter hides behind a garbage can when a battle is being waged right in front of him! Turn into a wolf and chase the thing!"

Dyson sneered at the attack on his Fae nature and masculinity. His Faesculinity. "This isn't a battle! This is a Christmas hating underfae destroying a bunch of decorations. He's leaving all the people alone."

"Except for Santa Claus." Lauren motioned toward the cardboard gingerbread house that served as Santa's Workshop, where a pudgy old man in a red suit huddled behind a makeshift throne sweating bullets, his whiskers burnt brown. Lauren could read his lips…she didn't realize Santa knew so many swear words.

"I can't change into a wolf when there are hundreds of humans around!" Dyson shouted. The burning embers of the mall Christmas tree tipped over, igniting the Sunglasses Hut.

"The Fae will wipe their memories anyway! Or are you just afraid?"

Dyson snapped his head toward her and growled. She'd pushed the right button. "Turn around."

"Huh?"

"If I don't take my pants off, they'll rip. Unless you want an eyeful of my junk, turn your head around please, Doctor."

Lauren spun around, keeping an eye on the green monstrosity that was now ripping a cardboard cutout of Buddy the Elf to shreds. The last thing she needed was the image of a naked Dyson burned into her brain.

That was the absolute last thing she needed.

Lauren's hair whipped around her face as Dyson blew past, his fur as brilliantly white as the fake, fluffy cotton 'winters snow' that the mall Santa was frantically burying himself in. Lauren frowned, her concern mounting as Santa's face grew redder and redder until, with a gasp, he clutched his chest and fell backwards.

"Heart attack," she muttered. "Damn."

She heard Dyson's barks and the creature's roars recede into the depths of the mall. Certain that the coast was clear, she called up her own reserves of courage and sprinted toward the poor man.

Santa Claus wasn't dying on her watch.

"Hale!" Bo shouted, running full speed toward the front doors of the mall. She was thrilled to see a familiar face in the middle of all the chaos. Hale had a cell phone in each ear, and motioned for Bo to wait.

"Yes Ash, we're keeping the EMTs out. Death isn't his M.O, so the folks inside should be fine. Serena and her team are evacuating the humans as we speak." He hung up and switched phones. "Trick, it's under control, DO NOT spill even one drop of your blood. We have Obliviators on the scene, taking care of the witnesses."

"Obliviators?" Kenzi frowned as she caught up, huffing and puffing with the effort. "What is this, Harry Potter?"

"There were a couple of things JK Rowling got right, and memory modifiers were one of them." Hale replied, as he pocketed both phones.

"What's going on here, anyway?" Bo asked.

Hale sighed. "It's the Krampus."

"Cramps?" Kenzi chuckled. "Just give everyone a Midol. Problem solved."

"Not cramps, Krampus. It's an Underfae. He comes out one day a year, on Christmas Eve, to create havoc and feed off of the misery he spreads among humans at Christmastime. He hasn't been seen for five years, so we thought he was dead. Apparently not."

"Wait…I've heard of him!" Kenzi exclaimed. "I have cousins from Austria, and they used to sing songs on Christmas to scare him away! Dude is like the anti-Santa Claus. Wait…" Kenzi paused, the gears whirling in her brain. She grabbed Hale by the collar. "Siren! Does that mean Santa Claus is real too?"

"Weeeelll…he was. But not in the same way you know him now. He was a Fae who gave out presents, and fed off of the joy of kids when they opened their gifts on Christmas morning."

"What do you mean, 'was'?" Bo asked.

"There was an unfortunate incident with a foxfire chimney and a family of Kitsune in 1803…it wasn't pretty."

Kenzi's jaw dropped to the floor. "Santa is real? And he's dead?"

"Fraid so." Hale shrugged. Kenzi took a step backward, muttering to herself, trying to process this shocking piece of information.

"This Krampus character…" Bo sidled up closer to Hale. "He doesn't happen to look like the Grinch, does he?"

"Actually yeah, he does. Dr. Seuss used him as his inspiration for the character. Seuss was a Rhapsodes. A type of Fae bard."

"Wait…" Kenzi grabbed her head between her hands. This was getting to be too much. "Santa is dead, and Dr. Seuss was a Fae?"

"Course he was. No human could come up with those mad rhymes," Hale replied. "How did you two know what he looked like?"

Bo sighed. "Because I hit him with my car fifteen minutes ago."

Hale looked at the building in front of them, where smoke was beginning to stream from the vents. Humans continued to file out, coughing and desperately confused. He frowned. "Too bad you didn't hit him harder."