A/N: This is my version of what I'd like to see in tomorrow night's Christmas ep, but of course, I'm quite sure won't. Bad Senior as per usual in my stories, a lot worse than his whitewashing. I have no clue what Tony's apartment really looks like, for all I know Gibbs could have renovated the second floor of his house and Tony lives up there with his cat and goldfish. And has a curfew.

Not beta'd, sorry for any mistakes. Thanks to everyone for reviewing/fav/following!

As promised, Tony called his father in exactly one hour from the time he left him standing stupefied in the bullpen and quietly gave him the directions to his apartment, threatening the man with physical harm if he dared divulge it to anyone. In fact, he made the man promise to have the cabbie drop him off almost two blocks away, so even the cabbie wouldn't know. He knew his father well enough to understand that the man was completely incapable of keeping any sort of confidence or secret unless it pertained to high-stakes business dealings, and even then he suspected that was questionable. The man loved to talk, loved to brag about what and who he knew, and couldn't seem to help himself when he was within hearing distance of another human being.

His fellow team-members had all been to Tony's place at least once or twice, and Gibbs, Abby and Ducky many times. All of them knew under threat of death that no one talked about it or gave out the address, or the next time they visited, there would be a new tenant, and they would never visit 'Tony's place' again. But they seemed to understand all too well Tony's rabid need for his privacy there, and abided by his wishes.

Ziva was the only one who thought it strange, as a home to her was four walls and perhaps a bed – without family living there with you, it was sticks and stones and a roof to keep the weather out. And everyone understood that viewpoint, too, knowing her Mossad past and her aversion to getting attached to material things or even human beings. Life was too transient for someone like her, and there were times Tony wished he was that free, but knew it would never completely happen, nor did he really want to live that way. He knew that deep down he was a very attached kind of guy, and would never change, no matter what life threw at him.

No one but Gibbs had expected to find what they had the first time they set foot across the threshhold of Tony's brownstone, and that only because he had helped Tony move into it. Abby and Ducky were pretty close in their thinking, but McGee and Ziva had been totally floored at what they found. First of all, it was much, much cleaner and less cluttered then they had expected, with sparkling kitchen and bathroom fixtures and little to no crumbs littering the floors or furniture. His small pantry was well-stocked along with his cupboards, and not just with pasta and beer. There was a nice selection of good wines, and all manner of staples to make a gourmet dinner, which he had many times for Gibbs and Ducky. Even his bedroom was orderly, without clothes strewn across chairs or lamps, and dresser tops clutter-free save for some family heirlooms adorning them.

When Gibbs shut down the bullpen for the day, he cornered his second at his desk before he could leave, just to make sure Tony knew where Gibbs stood concerning his father.

"You have any problem with him, you call me, don't get into something with him you'll end up killing him over. That's my job."

"Got it, Boss."

"He tell ya what he's doin' here?"

"Not yet, never gave him the chance, got into a ...well, let's just say he was a little 'overwhelmed' by the time I left him to come down to Abby's."

"You tell 'im where the bear shit 'n the buckwheat?"

"Uh, yeah, basically I did."

Gibbs reached a hand up to Tony's head and the younger man steeled himself for the slap that ended up being a couple of pats to the back of his head

"Atta boy."

Gibbs nodded to him and went back to his desk to finish up some work, and Tony headed for the elevator, and what Gibbs hoped wouldn't be the kid's doom.

"Meant what I said, Tony. You need me, call, I can be there in ten."

"Got it, Boss. I'll do my best to figure out what he wants and send him on his way."

Gibbs watched Tony head for the elevator, and shook his head wearily.

"That's as likely to happen as Diane and I getting back together." he mumbled under his breath.

"Heard that, Boss." Tony yelled behind him. "Gotta think positive!"

Tony disappeared into the elevator, and that was the last Gibbs heard from the man until eight o'clock that night.

Anthony DiNozzo, Senior tucked his scarf a little more tightly around his neck against the chilly December wind as he walked the two blocks to his son's apartment from his taxi drop-off. Senior's pride at his son being a federal agent was starting to erode; all this cloak and dagger stuff was just a bit ridiculous, but then again, Junior always did have a flare for the dramatic. Christ, the kid drove him half-nuts when he was growing up, always wanting him to read to him or play silly games with him; he was a working man, his job was to make money, pay the bills, bring home the bacon, not waste his time on stuff the hired help could take care of. And now he was a super agent, God only knew what Junior did for his job, he wished like hell the kid would just come back to his side of the world and work with him, what a bang-up team they would make! The whole world would know them in short order.

Senior sighed and stuffed his free hand in his pocket away from the cold. His other hand carried a bag with high-end chocolates and some Dom Perignon. He had come to celebrate the holidays with his son, and damn it, that's what he was going to do, regardless of whether the arrogant little snot wanted him there or not. And he had a thing or two to tell the kid when he got there about how to talk to his elders.

Scanning the brownstones for the right number, he found the one with the burgundy trim, and matched the number on his paper. Junior had done okay for himself to be able to afford this toney place in D.C.,

Maybe all his harping about learning to save money had sunk in. It never occurred to him that he had gone years without a penny saved, drifting from one shady 'project' to the next, blowing what he pocketed and putting the rest towards the next deal.

He pressed the guest buzzer, and waited for his son to respond, cussing at the wind blowing into his hair. He wasn't used to these temperatures, had been spending most of his time in the milder climes of Europe, notably the French Riviera and Tuscany. Maybe he could convince Tony to at least visit him over there sometime. The door latch buzzed back, finally, and Senior was allowed inside. He shook off the snow and a door opened at the end of the hallway, where his son stood dressed in raggedy jeans and sweatshirt, white socks only adorning his feet.

"Come on in, dad." he offered, showing no lingering malice since their altercation at the Navy Yard.

"There's a pair of slippers here by the door, they're mine so they should fit you fine." In actuality, they were Gibbs', bought for him last Christmas to use when he visited, but Tony was not about to open that volatile can of worms now, if ever. He would never hear the end of the fact that Gibbs visited this sacred ground often while Senior had been purposely kept in the dark of his son's home address for as long as possible.

Senior reached for the slippers, a glower on his face.

"This is the way you show up for guests, for your own father, sweatshirt and rags for pants? No shoes on your feet, like a bum?"

Tony swallowed hard and bit the inside of his cheek. Okay, so things were off to a bit of rocky start. Nothing new there.

"Just relaxing after work, Dad. Can I get you something to drink, or eat?"

'You know my usual, Junior. What've you got for finger food?"

"Uhh...finger food. Let's see." Tony started looking through his small but organized pantry. "Make yourself to home, drinks are on the bar in the library."

"Library. Huh. Didn't think you were still into books, Junior. Always seemed a waste of time to me."

Tony sighed quietly and closed his eyes, counting to ten. He could do this. He could do this. But he really didn't want to.

"Uh, yeah, well – gotta have something for my brain other than blood and gore. How about some

three year old cheddar and stone ground crackers with a plate of fruit?"

"No crab cakes or stuffed mushrooms? You know in Monaco they -"

"Uh, no dad, not on hand, I can order some take-out if you want, there's a great Greek restaurant down the block."

"Only eat authentic Greek, Junior. Never know what you're getting at those knock-off places."

"Well, this isn't knock-off, it's run by two Greek brothers who - "

"Nevermind, Junior, I brought us some Dom Perignon, all we need are some glasses."

"Dom Perignon. Okay. I don't remember that as a regular Christmas treat, but, glasses are in the cupboard in front of you. I'm kind of hungry so I'm gonna make up a plate of cheese and crackers."

"Not a Christmas treat, Junior, we're celebrating."

Tony took in a breath and made a strangled "Oh?" noise at the same time.

"Celebrating...Christmas? A new step-mother? My graduation from college?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Junior, I told you after I divorced your last step-mother I was done with marriage.

"I'll be right back."

Tony made a bee-line back to his pantry, his temper soaring to new heights and threatening to clear the shelves of all his hard-earned food stuffs. He itched to grab his phone and speed dial Gibbs, but hell, this wasn't field work, the bullets weren't flying, and no meat-head was trying to strangle him. Taking a few deep breaths, he steadied himself and grabbed a jar of olives just for something to bring out with him. Shaky hands cut fruit and cheese, and he was only marginally surprised he didn't lop one of his fingers off. Or his father's head.

"Junior, what's taking you so long, I poured the Dom, it's going to go flat!"

"Um..right on it, dad." Tony ground out through clenched teeth as he grabbed his plate and headed towards the library. He normally didn't eat in there, but right now he just didn't give a damn, just wanting to drink the stupid, ridiculously expensive booze and send his father packing to where ever it was he had blown in from.

"So then what are we celebrating?" he asked, trying to sound casual, and pretending to be interested.

"We are celebrating my biggest coup yet. Last year when I was involved in that big mess that went south and the guy ended up dead in my trunk, I had a little side deal going, sort of a Plan B in case anyone tried to stiff me, which they did, and ended up – well, stiff."

Tony groaned, and had it been anyone but his father talking about something that nearly earned the man life in prison, he would have chuckled at the pun.

"Any ways, it wasn't as lucrative as the one that didn't work out, but it did work out, and you are looking at the newly rich Anthony DiNozzo, Senior. Cash in the bank, legally. No caveats, no dead bodies."

"That's nice, dad. Really. I'm happy for you."

"You don't sound like you are. You afraid I swindled somebody, some old rich widow in Monaco?"

"Did you?" Tony asked evenly, and honestly.

"Jesus, Junior, what've I gotta do to make any kind of impression on you? I bust my ass for you all your life and I don't get one god damned ounce of respect from you, never have!"

"Gotta earn it, dad." Tony offered, distancing himself from the man so he wouldn't be take a swing at him. It was his shooting hand, after all, and he could never throw a decent punch with his left, his aim was all off.

"You don't call working like a dog all hours of the day enough for you to respect me? What, Gibbs works an eight, ten hour day barking out orders and smacking you around and you think he hung the fucking moon! You think he's gonna leave you a pile of money when he croaks? You'll be lucky to get his old shop tools to sell on e-bay! What the hell do you think he's going to leave you, hunh?"

Tony knew his father was talking out of his ass and trying to bait him. He knew there was nothing his father wanted more than to get into a gigantic, territorial pissing war with Gibbs, no matter how many times he swore otherwise. Tony could see it every time his father looked at his boss, saw the way the man was eyeing the Gunny, sizing him up and trying to figure out just what it was Gibbs had that he didn't. He could look and wonder forever and never find the answers, because Senior had no idea what it was he was looking for, or at the very least, was looking for all the wrong things. And for Tony to try to explain that to his father was as hopeless as his father ever actually having the qualities that eluded him, that made him so jealous of Gibbs.

Tony was only too aware of Gibbs's glaring faults, being on the receiving end of them on an almost daily basis. But the qualities Tony loved and respected in him far outshone the glaring ones, even though they were seldom seen by anyone other than his close friends and family. And to cheapen what Gibbs had done for him, what he had taught him over the years by using them as weapons against his father, Tony just didn't have the balls for it. His father could bait him all night long.

"He's going to leave me a better man, dad. I'm a better man in a lot of ways for knowing him, and that's what he's going to leave me. Can't buy that with any amount of cold, hard cash."

"Well, then, I can see I wasted all my time on you, you wouldn't know a quality if it bit you in the ass. You've got nothing, Junior. You've got an apartment with second rate furniture, no decent pieces of art, and by the looks of it, you're living with a cat that sleeps any damned place it chooses."

"This is why I never let you into my life. You took every good thing that was my childhood and ran it into the ground, and I refuse to let you do that with my adulthood. I'm glad you finally made your big haul, I wish you all the luck in the world, but you're not going to stand on my turf and ruin my holiday with your pettiness and jealousy. I'll call a cab or drive you to the Adam's House myself, but you're done here."

"You're throwing me out?" Senior asked incredulously. "I come here to share two million bucks with my son and he. Throws. Me. Out."

"Well, yeah, dad. You're starting to put a crimp in my Christmas, and I swore that ended back when I was twelve. You don't get a do-over on that."

"Junior, do you realize what you're doing here? If I walk out of here, that's it, no money from me, not even in my will! I swear it, son."

"Well, dad, how is that any different for me than it was this morning, or thirty years ago when you wrote me out the first time? I can't miss what I never had, can I?"

"You're a wretched little ungrateful bastard, Anthony." Senior growled ferally. "I have done everything I can to put our relationship back on track, and it's never enough for you! What the hell do you want from me?"

"He wants you to get out of his house, Chief." Gibbs' steely voice came from the doorway.

"This isn't your business, Gibbs."

"Well, that's where yer wrong, Mr. DiNozzo. Tony's been 'my business' for the last ten years, and there may have been some times I left him swinging in the wind, but I've never cut the cord. He's probably never gonna see a red cent from me in my will, but he'll get every good thing I've got to give him before I go. And if that means tossing you out of here on your pompous, arrogant ass, than get ready to go flying."

"Gibbs, come on, we're buddies, haven't we always had an understanding?" Senior placated, his palms out in a defensive gesture.

"Yeah, sure we do. You don't understand me and I don't understand you. And Tony here probably doesn't understand either one of us crazy bastards. You ready to leave now, Mr. DiNozzo? Cause ya know damned well I can and will put ya through the wall if Tony here gives me the okay."

"You don't understand, Jethro, I was trying to do something good for him, something great, and he throws it all in my face!"

"Yeah, well. Kids can be ungrateful little bastards. Tried getting him to wear one of my suit coats once when he was cold, said he wouldn't be caught dead in it. My favorite one, too. Brown and yellow plaid. But that's not what we're talking about, is it, Mr. DiNozzo? We were talking about you leaving cause you're messing up his head again, and I can't stand to work with Tony with his head messed up. What's it gonna be, Chief, you leaving peacefully or me tossing you out through the bricks?"

"I can't believe this, Junior, you're my son for God sakes, you're not going to actually let him throw me out of your own house!"

"Dad, please, just go, I'll meet you for breakfast tomorrow at the hotel.."

"Tony." Gibbs cut him off warningly.

"My flight leaves tonight, Junior, this is it, no more talking! And if you had even half a brain you'd leave the old hillbilly and come with me to Monaco."

88888888888888888

Gibbs felt pretty badly about ruining Tony's gorgeous, live Christmas tree by bodily throwing Senior into it, but the smug bastard certainly deserved the trunk up his butt and more. Something inside his son had snapped when he'd insulted his boss, and Tony had lost all control and lunged at the man, thirty -something years of neglect and emotional abuse, and probably more that Tony had never alluded to boiling to the surface and sending his hands to the man's lapels, grabbing him and throwing him against the fireplace mantle. Senior had pushed off the mantle once he'd gotten his bearings, and for an older guy who stayed on the wrong side of booze, he was still pretty strong, and the look on his face told Gibbs the man meant business, even if it was his only son he was ready to throttle.

Gibbs also saw the look on Tony's face, and the fear and vulnerability in his surrogate son's eyes was more than he could bear. He knew the younger DiNozzo was back in his childhood, a place where Senior controlled everything with an iron fist, including his small son. Tony wasn't going to fight back now, and Gibbs was so not going to let Senior put a mark on him; his heavy-handed tactics at trying to win his son's respect and love by shoving a pile of money in his face had already caused Tony some emotional scrapes. He'd be damned if Senior hurt him anymore, and without thinking, wrenched himself in between the two men and snapped the older man's hold on Tony, grabbing Senior by the shirt front and flinging him hard to the side and away from his second.

He figured they probably heard the crash next door, but he couldn't gave a damn now that it was all said and done, and Senior had found his way out the door in a quick fashion before he ended up skewered on the top of the large Scotch pine as Gibbs had threatened to do. Tony had actually made sure the man wasn't really hurt, brushing ornament glass off his clothes and checking for blood, but Senior fussed and growled until his son just gave up and escorted him out of the apartment. Gibbs heard Tony's last words to his father and shut his eyes with a loud sigh. Even after all of this.. What was worse, Tony apologized to him, too.

"Sorry, Gibbs, didn't mean for you to be in the middle of that."

"And if I hadn't, he would've beat the shit out of ya!" Gibbs retorted angrily, tired of Tony taking the high road for his father.

"Nah, I would've snapped out of it after the first blow and given him that neck pinch you taught me when I first joined the team." Tony told the man sincerely, and looked more like he meant it when Gibbs gave him a doubtful eye. "I swear I wouldn't have let him hurt me, or hurt him."

"Well then I showed up and wrecked your tree for nothing, then, I guess!" Gibbs barked irritably.

"Well, I dunno, it was pretty spectacular, really. And truth be told, I'm used to it. Contrary to what my father says about being able to hold his liquor, he always got blotto on Christmas night and invariably ended up falling into the tree and wrecking it. I got to thinking of it as a tradition, so, you did actually bring back some old Christmas memories for me, Gibbs."

Gibbs had to smile in spite of the fact that it was a truly awful Christmas memory. He thought back on his own festive and pleasant childhood Christmases in Stillwater and vowed to thank his father for them when he called him.

"I'll get ya a new tree, DiNozzo. Shouldn'ta gotten so carried away, just – couldn't stand to see him grabbing you like that, he'd hurt you enough already."

"Yeah, well, I appreciate that, Boss. Had a feeling things were gonna go south soon as he started in on my choice of clothes for the night. Ah, hell, I knew before that things were gonna be a disaster. Let's go in the morning and find one for both of us, Abby will never leave you alone till you put one up, so you might as well break down and get one."

"Yeah, prob'ly right." He reached over and grasped Tony's chin in his hand, turning his SFA's face towards him to get a better reading of his mental state through his eyes. "I shoulda just been here when he got here, Anthony. He would have been on his best behavior, and you could've just said no thank you and sent him on his way."

"Can't fight all my battles for me, Boss, especially with my father. Maybe now that he has a stash he won't be around much."

"Wasn't around much before, Tony. Just causes such an uproar when he is, it takes a long time to get over him."

"I'll never get over him, Boss. Just gotta keep adjusting myself to him. I did better this time, even though he didn't. I didn't lose it and go after him until he called you a hillbilly. That was totally uncalled for. Only I get to call you a hillbilly. Cause I say it with love and pride, and...well, you know."

"Yeah, I know, Tony. Come on, let's get this mess cleaned up before that idiot cat comes in and starts tromping through the broken ornaments. Not taking it to the vet in the middle of the night to have a piece of glass removed from her foot."

"Got some cheese and crackers around here somewhere, Boss, I'll grab us some beers."

"Yeah, sure, that sounds good, DiNozzo. And Tony..you sure you're okay? I heard the stuff he was saying to you, and then to have him grab you like that.."

"Honestly, no, I'm not, but I will be. I''ll be damned if I let him ruin one more Christmas for me."

"Good. You can help me finish my present for Abby when we're done with the trees. And Tony..that was pretty incredible, turning down that kind of money."

"Did you really think I would have taken it from him?"

"Hell no, but I thought you should know anyways. Lot of strong people I know would've caved, especially when it was their father offering it."

"Then they don't have a father like mine."

"No... their father's don't have a son like mine."