"There are some things that just don't need to be seen before you've ingested breakfast." Briony Waters stated, her blue eyes surveying the sight in front of her. Sirius Black had a Sixth-Year Hufflepuff by the name of Delia Wyncombe pinned against the wall outside the Great Hall.

"Or after" Remus Lupin added, shifting his weight from one foot to another, while desperately trying to look anywhere but at the couple furiously kissing each other.

"Or ever" Marlene McKinnon added, her face screwed up in disgust. "How are they even breathing?" she asked, running a hand through her long black hair.

"I know right? It's like she's trying to swallow him whole" Briony answered. "I mean really, if you insist on shamelessly snogging someone in front of the whole school, shouldn't you at least be good at it?"

"Ooh, do I detect a bit of jealousy there?" Marlene asked, wiggling her eyebrows at her friend. "Are you wishing that it was you Sirius had pressed up against the wall?"

"Hardly" Briony snorted. "I have some class dear, if I was snogging Sirius I would hardly be doing it in front of everyone" she eyed the couple critically. "And I sure as hell would not be attempting that good lord!" she said, as Delia somehow attempted to climb up his body.

Remus continued to look uncomfortable "I would greatly appreciate it if we could stop discussing snogging techni- Oh Merlin, she's licked his face!" he exclaimed, utterly repulsed.

"Right, that's it" Briony said, taking a hold of both Remus and Marlene's hands "We are going to get breakfast and we are going to be brave" she proceeded to drag the pair towards the doors "Just close your eyes, it'll be over soon"

The pair did as she instructed and she pulled them through the entrance, past the couple and towards the Gryffindor table. She spotted James, Lily and Peter already seated and made her way towards them.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, as she watched the trio silently sit down and stare forlornly at the array of breakfast choices before them.

"You didn't see it?" Marlene asked, deciding that a piece of toast was all she could stomach at the moment.

"See what?" James asked, the three really didn't look good. Marlene looked like she was about to be sick; Briony was staring at the coffee in front of her as if it held the answer to all life's questions, and Remus, well Remus looked green.

"She licked his face James, she licked his face" He whispered, shaking his head. Remus poured himself a cup of coffee and attempted to settle his nerves.

"Who licked who?" Lily was beginning to get exasperated. She turned her attention to the auburn haired girl sitting next to her.

"Delia Wyncombe" Briony answered "Sirius has her pinned against a wall outside and I'm pretty sure what they're doing is illegal in some countries"

"She licked his face?" Peter asked, frowning. "Why would she do that? Did he have some food on it?"

"Somehow I doubt it Pete" James answered "But you can ask him yourself, here he comes"

Sirius was indeed walking through the doors, his arm around Delias waist. The two parted ways and headed for their respective tables, but not before another lingering kiss. He strolled towards his friends, feeling quite pleased with himself. It was only the second week of term, and already he had a beautiful girl on his arm. Oh yes, his Seventh year was off to a great start.

"Hello friends!" He called, grinning widely and sitting down between Remus and Briony "And how are we on this fine morning?" the only answers he got were bemused looks from James and Lily, and a combination of gagging noises from Remus, Briony and Marlene. "What's the matter?" he asked, a frown on his handsome face.

"Broom cupboards were invented for a reason Sirius" Marlene said "They exist to shield pure creatures such as myself from your lecherous ways"

"Oh you caught the show did you?" Sirius asked, his face glowing with pride "Yes well, you know how it is, when you have that much sexual energy with someone, sometimes you don't care who sees you" he winked roguishly at the girls before helping himself to some eggs.

"She licked your face Sirius" Remus said helplessly.

Sirius frowned "Ah yes that was a little unexpected" he shrugged "and a little bit gross, but I can forgive her because she is very, very fit"

"She licked your face Sirius" Marlene stated again "That is not normal, that should make you a little hesitant to the kind of things she is going to try to do to you in bed"

"Dirty, wicked things" Sirius sighed dreamily, while everyone surrounding him, except Peter, gagged.

Peter looked at Sirius with wide eyes "What kind of things?" he asked.

Briony turned to look helplessly at James and Lily "You're Head Boy and Head Girl, can't you make them stop? Or at least make them keep their strange sexual needs in a private location?"

James and Lily turned to look at each other, the former being momentarily distracted by the way that the sun was radiating off her red hair. It was only when Lily started to frown that he averted his eyes and cleared his throat "I'm afraid that regulating Sirius' extensive dating habits is not part of our job description"

"Not that you could" Sirius retorted "I have a responsibility to the beautiful young ladies of this school" he winked at a couple of fifth-years that were looking over at them, causing them to giggle and almost knock a tray of scones onto Marlenes lap.

She shot the fifth-years a death look that shut them up, before turning her attention to Sirius once more "Look we're your friends and we're very happy that you have found some new little trollop to take your fancy, all we're requesting is that you don't make us watch you two consummating your relationship" she paused, before putting on a fake concerned voice and reaching out to pat Brionys hand "and think of poor Briony here, It just seems unfair to flaunt your new relationship, when she's still hung up on you"

The aforementioned girl choked on her coffee "I'm sorry, are you referring to the fact that I had a crush on Sirius when we were in Third-Year? Because I can confidently say that I've moved on from that"

"Oh come now, we all know that's simply not true" Sirius said, slinging an arm around Brionys shoulders "I see the way you look at me, your barely concealed lust burning in your deep, blue eyes"

Briony frowned "Have you been reading those muggle romance novels again?" she asked, shaking his arm off her shoulder.

"Well I wouldn't if Lily wouldn't leave them lying around all the time" he huffed "and if everyone wasn't always half-naked on the covers"

Lily felt herself blush as everyone turned their attention towards her "I do not have to answer to you" she said haughtily and poured herself a cup of pumpkin juice.

"The point is" Remus said, trying to steer everyone's attention back to the problem at hand "That when I wake up in the morning, I would like to have my breakfast without fearing that I would have to see any part of your body licked by anyone"

"They just can't help themselves" Sirius shook his head helplessly "I am just far too good looking for my own good, they take one look at me, and the ladies just swoon"

"Oh my goodness" Lily said, clutching at her throat "I can't breathe" James was mildly concerned for a minute until he saw the smile tugging at the redheads lips.

"It's as if all the air is being sucked out of the surrounding area" Marlene agreed, pretending to struggle for breath.

"It's his ego" Briony answered, taking heaving breaths "It's gotten far too large and now it's going to kill us all!"

Sirius laughed and placed an arm around Brionys waist, pulling her close "Come now, Briony, You know you're my best girl" he said and placed a slobbery kiss on her cheek.

"Oh gross" She said, pushing him away and wiping at her cheek "Now whatever diseases Delia has given you are going to be passed onto me, thanks"

Before Sirius had time to answer Briony was suddenly covered in a bowlful of yoghurt. The group turned to see Delia standing behind them, glaring furiously at Sirius. "So this is how it is then? I come over here because I miss you too much to be apart, and you're kissing this wanton tart? Well fine then Sirius Black, you can kiss her all you want because I am done with you!" she declared passionately, before leaning in and whispering "I would have done things to you that nobody else could have" and wish a swish of her hair she stormed out of the Great Hall.

They turned back to stare at Briony, who had a surprisingly calm expression on her face. She reached up and wiped some off the yoghurt off her face before turning to look at Sirius, who looked as if he couldn't decide whether he should laugh or look guilty. "Do you see? Do you see what your friendship does to me?" she asked calmly, before getting up "Please apologize on my behalf to Professor McGonagall, I'm going to be late for Transfiguration, as I have to go shower again" with that she walked out.

"I think that may have been the only socially appropriate situation in which to lick someone" Remus supplied, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!

The story title is from the song "Something In the Water" by Brooke Fraser, I'm obsessed with it.

Pretty, pretty please review and let me know if you like what you've seen so far! I have the second chapter all ready to be uploaded!

Cheers!

xx-Michelle