Fats is tired.
The stained glass windows in the church are the only colours in his heart.
[Inside he's fading away.]
::
Fats is tired.
He doesn't go to the funeral.
What point is there?
[He doesn't go to the funeral because he knows he won't make it through the opening hymn.]
::
Fats is tired.
He doesn't smoke anymore.
[Not after the poison in his lungs took away everything he cared for.]
::
Fats is tired.
Andrew is gone.
Gaia is going.
And he wishes he were to go too.
[If only to escape this hell his life has become.]
::
Fats is tired.
Pagford was always too small for him.
[But maybe now it's just a little too big.]
::
Fats is tired.
He doesn't want to play anymore.
[He was sick of playing a long time ago.]
::
Fats is tired.
He can feel it in his bones.
[They are brittle and used and ready to break.]
::
Fats is tired.
Life goes on as if Krystal never happened.
[Sometimes he wishes that were true.]
::
Fats is tired.
He dreams of the pitter-patter of Robbie's feet.
He hears a splash.
[He wakes up crying.]
::
Fats is tired.
His parents don't forgive him, though they try hard to.
[They never will.]
::
Fats is tired.
Once he thought the world was his oyster.
[That was before he slipped and cut himself open on its sharp, slick edge.]
::
Fats is tired.
People look at him differently.
They judge.
[He wants them to.]
::
Fats is tired.
The days blur together, a patchwork of maybes, wills and won'ts.
[Happiness is impossible.]
::
Fats is tired.
He's so fucking tired.
[He wishes he had never been born.]
::
Fats is tired.
[But that's okay, because he knows the end is coming soon.]