12. Chapter – Angry

"You don't repair that relationship by sitting down and talking about trust or making promises. Actually, what rebuilds it is living it and doing things differently - and I think that is what is going to make the difference."
(Patricia Hewitt)

Soon after my last class today I feel my mark burn. As the good minion that I am I immediately make my way out of the castle and to my "Master's" side. In the usual meeting hall there are already many black clad figures waiting in a submissive pose with the Dark Lord watching them carefully from his throne-like chair.

I make my way to the pedestal in the front of the room to sink down on one knee, bow my head and mutter "My Lord" with enough but not too much devotion and reverence in my voice. After decades of having served him I consider myself somewhat an expert in pretending to be one of the most loyal without shouting it into the world like dear Bellatrix does.

Fortunately, I haven't been the last to appear so I am certain I won't be punished just yet. Then again the chance of leaving the delightful presence of the Dark Lord and his minions without the residual shivers of the Cruciatus curse is close to none so I won't let my hopes up.

As I take my place in the first row in between Antonin Dolohov and Rabastan Lestrange, I ponder the reasons for today's summoning. Seeing that this is the first time since the summer I have been called to one of these meetings there is not much for me to go on. Although, it might not be necessary because today is Halloween, the day our dearest Master "died" for lack of a better word, and since his resurrection he hasn't failed in causing some mayhem on this day. I just hope Potter stays unharmed.

Rather surprisingly the Dark Lord doesn't torture/punish the last one, a newbie by the looks of it.

"It has been long since we have done something to remind the public of our presence. Therefore, on this day you will go to various locations to show off our unwavering strength," Voldemort proclaims and to this most of the lower ranked Death Eaters shout out in jubilation. The Inner Circle seems to be equally elated by the prospect of torturing, maiming and killing some innocent bystanders but they don't show their joy so ostentatiously.

Our Lord raises his hand and silence immediately descends on the room as if someone had casted a Silencio on the room's occupants.

"However," he pauses and looks everyone straight in the eyes. Most of the younger followers shudder when met with the unnatural red eyes. You cannot really get used to seeing them and even those of us familiar with the ways of the Dark side and the dealings with the Dark Lord aren't quite unmoved by their coldness and power they hold. "There won't be any fatalities unless absolutely necessary. You will refrain from torturing and maiming anyone."

What?!

Upon these words everyone present is bewildered. Our "Master" has never ever issued such an order. In fact his wishes have always been quite the opposite. The minions exchange confused glances and shuffle nervously at their places. A covert glance at the rest of the Inner Circle reveals their puzzlement at the uncharacteristic order.

What has caused such a change? Does it have anything to do with the Dark Lord's strange behaviour over the summer? Unfortunately, it is neither the right time nor the right place to ponder such matters if I don't want to get myself killed prematurely.

"My Lord, do I understand correctly that we shall cause damage without actually harming anyone?" Lucius voices one of the questions running through the majority of the people present.

For a moment I think Voldemort will punish Lucius for questioning him as the anger in his eyes is quite apparent. However, to my astonishment he only sneers in affirmation and then continues to command his followers into small groups. They are to prepare for the planned attack before their scheduled departure shortly after nightfall.

When the Dark Lord calls my name he directs me to prepare some exploding as well as healing potions. After I bow I exit the hall quickly as I do not have much time to finish what is required of me. Luckily the lab at the Slytherin Manor is very well equipped and stocked so that I won't have difficulties due to the lack of ingredients and the space allows me to work on the potions simultaneously. I guess it is one of the perks of being a Dark Lord and having good resources.

Although I am covered in sweat and the students would be for once in their lives justified in calling me greasy, I manage to complete my task in time.

I present the freshly corked vials to Voldemort but he just motions for Pettigrew to distribute them amongst the groups. Afterwards he gives a short speech and warns against failure. I wonder whether I will have to join the raid but I am ordered to stay behind.

When the last man leaves the room, the Dark Lord leans back in his throne-like chair and starts stroking the head of his snake absentmindedly. Though I am certain nothing misses his attention.

"Tell me, Severus, what is going on at Hogwarts." Meaning, what does Dumbledore do and what is Potter up to.

"There hasn't been an Order meeting since the summer or if there was, I wasn't invited. And the old coot is increasingly close mouthed," I say and he lowers his head to look at Nagini before he asks as if not caring for the answer: "And Potter?"

However, I know better. Even though he is a master manipulator and very good at wearing masks, pretending, lying and deceiving there is something different from the way he speaks out her name. There is definitely interest and bemusement in his voice and his expression reminds me of the one he had during the summer meetings.

What is going on?

I force my attention back to present and to the impatient wizard in front of me. "Potter has... changed. She has lost a lot of weight and she seems to not sleep well. There are dark circles under her eyes and I haven't seen her laugh since the term resumed," I state. There is no way in hell I will tell him about my suspicions or about my closer observations. However, I can't not tell him something as there are many Death Eater children attending the school and the well known facts would surely reach Voldemort's ears.

"I haven't seen her speaking to her two idiotic cronies for several weeks. Instead she spends more time in the library with a Ravenclaw girl. Also the other teachers have been nearly unbearable about how she improved in all of her subjects."

He doesn't look up from his snake or give any indication that he heard my report. It is quite disconcerting. From the Lord before this summer I would have expected to be enraged and to order me to find out what is going on followed by a round of Crucio. This lack of reaction is quite disturbing. If I didn't know better I would say he is worried. However I am neither crazy nor suicidal to let such a thought linger in my mind.

"How is she in potions?"

"The brat is one of the best students I have taught."

After a long contemplative silence he asks yet another question. "What is Dumbledore's reaction to this?"

I wonder where this conversation slash interrogation is going. Though I have always been required to get information on Lemon Drop and his Golden Girl, the Dark Lord has never been quite this interested in the information. Nor has his interest been more than wanting to unveil the weaknesses of an enemy.

"He seems to know what caused the change in her," when I say this I am taken aback by the flash of anger in Voldemort's eyes and it only adds more questions to my list.

As soon as I am back in my quarters at Hogwarts, I take a long hot shower to loosen up my stiff muscles and to wash off the grease and potions' fumes. Thanks God I do not to have any real pain to deal with...

All the while my brain is in top gear, trying to figure out just what is going on with the leader of the Dark side. Unfortunately, I can't find any possible reason for him to change so drastically in such a short time. Especially considering the direction of the change.

Over the years the Dark Lord became more and more insane and we – meaning his followers – witnessed his descend into the darkest of arts robbing him of the rest of his sanity. Now it seems as if he were regaining some of his lost sanity, which in and of itself wouldn't be such a bad thing. The Dark Lord was after all more bearable and easier to deal with when he was younger. Furthermore, his goals at that time were unquestionably more reasonable.

No, the question is what is behind this change? Is the change permanent, or will he torture his followers and the innocent bystanders left and right once again?

If I didn't know better I would say it has something to do with Potter, considering how closely the lives of the two of them are connected. This assumption would also be supported by the fact the Dark Lord isn't the only one who changed over the last months. However, I can't think of anything that could link their current unusual behaviour.

My musings are interrupted by the alarm signalising someone is coming to my office. I wonder who that might be at this time of day. As far as I know every student is supposed to be at the Halloween feast.

No matter, I will find out soon enough.

I seal the note with (some) information about the Death Eater meeting and send it through the fireplace in my living room into the headmaster's office. He will read it in his own time.

Ah, yes. There is the knock. From the sound of it it's urgent and so I just sigh in commiseration over another peaceless evening and stride over through a hidden door into my office to deal with the crisis.

When I enter the door into the corridor it takes me several seconds to comprehend the situation.

Nothing could have prepared me for this.

There, in my doors, stands Blaise Zabini looking like he has been in a fight, with armfuls of a shivering mass in his Slytherin robe, seeing as he isn't wearing one. It takes me all but ten seconds to recognise the quivering mass for what, or rather who it is.

Potter.

I try to shake off my shock as my mind is coming up with different scenarios which could explain the situation to me. All I can say with a near absolute certainty is that this mess isn't caused by the Dark Lord.

I motion the seventh year student to enter and after short consideration I lead him into my private quarters. He puts his burden on my sofa and takes a few steps back hurriedly. A moment later I understand why. The girl is huddling together, trying to be as small as possible, shaking violently all the while and when I kneel beside her she appears to be trying to become one with the sofa.

She is in shock.

"Explain," I bark out while procuring a vial of Calming Draught from one of my pockets. Thinking back on our confrontation in the first week of term, when she broke down, I keep talking in a soft, soothing voice in order to get her to swallow the potion while listening to Zabini's words.

"I left the feast early and when I was by the entrance to our common room I heard someone fighting not far down the hallway. When I investigated I found Malfoy trying to force himself onto her." At hearing this I am furious. Rape and sexual violence in general is regarded as one of the worst crimes in the wizarding world. Not even the Death Eaters participate in such horrendous activities, not only because of the consequences if Voldemort found out they did.

Taking care of Potter is more important at the moment than murdering the disgusting cretin. Therefore I force myself to keep the fury at bay. For the time being.

I clench my fists to stay as calm as possible and nod my head to indicate to Zabini to continue. "I fought him off of her, stunned him, bound him and took his wand just to be sure. I'm not quite sure I was in time and she has been quite unresponsive apart from saying your name so I thought it would be best to take her here."

I am a little surprised Potter wanted to be taken to me if I don't misunderstand, however I can't ponder this little mystery any further as the girl heaves. I manage to conjure a bucket for her to throw up in it instead of on my sofa.

"Evanesco," I mutter and force her to down first a Stomach Settling Solution and then the Calming Draught. It is apparent she won't calm down on her own even a little. I run a hand through my hair as I observe the potions taking effect. When her green eyes start to clear I summon a blanket and wrap it around her to keep her warm. As I start to take my hand back she suddenly grabs it, looks at me with such a helpless and miserable look in her eyes that when she whispers almost desperately: "Please... don't leave me", I can't say no.

"Mr. Zabini, thank you for your assistance tonight. 40 points to Slytherin. If you could move Mr. Malfoy into the unused classroom next to the Common room, I would appreciate it."

I see the worried look in his eyes when he glances at Potter's small form but understanding my words for the dismissal it is, he takes his leave without any further ado. This way I can concentrate on the girl better and not worry about anything else.

The shivering is decreasing as the Calming Draught takes effect but she is still in no state to talk. However, as I need to know whether she has been injured in any way, I carefully perform a diagnosis charm.

The roll of parchment gets longer and longer as the injuries she has received in the last few months are listed. I ignore the length of the parchment for the moment as I read the part with the information about her current and recent injuries.

What I found is... There is no word for it. The fury I put in the back of my mind is back only increased tenfold. Who did this to her? What disgusting pig would dare violate someone in such a way?

It takes all of my willpower to hold onto my agitated magic wanting to be unleashed to punish, to kill the one who dared...

No, I can't get ahead of myself. I have to treat her injuries, calm the girl and make her talk so she can begin to heal.

Right, she has a slight concussion and some bruising on her arms and neck. I summon the necessary potions and after explaining what they are for I hand them to her.

"I'm sorry," she mutters so lowly I barely catch it.

"What are you sorry for?"

"For being such a burden and intruding."

I sigh. "You are no burden to me.

"Do you want to tell me what happened tonight?" I ask after a moment.

She shakes her head but I inform her that that wasn't a question. She draws her knees even closer to her torso and in the silence while she is in her thoughts I get up from the floor, order some tea from the kitchens and sit down on the other end of the sofa to give her some space and at the same time to show her my support.

Somehow I know prodding her into speaking won't get us anywhere and so I can only wait patiently. We sit in silence for what feels like hours but then she tightens her arms around her bent legs and starts recounting tonight's events.

"I left the feast early to be alone. Someone was watching me leave and the stare was making me feel uncomfortable so I decided to go to the dungeons. I didn't notice I was being followed until Malfoy called my name..." She swallows and it is obvious she struggles to control her reaction and possibly fear and though it pains me to see her like this, I stay silent, letting her find the courage to continue.

"First I thought he was looking for a fight," she says and I hear self-deprecation in her voice. I wonder why that is but I do not voice my question. "He..." she starts. However, it becomes clear the necessary words won't leave her lips despite the Calming Draught which helps loose one's tongue.

"I tried to fight him off... but he was too strong..." is all she says in the end.

"What did Malfoy do?" I attempt to coach her to admitting aloud what exactly happened to her.

She looks to be trying to say something but then she just shakes her head as if she could get rid of the truth this way.

"Did he rape you?"

She flinches and shakes her head but doesn't say anything.

I sigh. I have never been good with this emotion stuff but after years as a teacher and Head of Slytherin I know very well how important it is to talk about any negative experiences in order to overcome them. Keeping the hurt to oneself hinders any possible healing.

"Miss Po... Alessandra, you need to talk about what happened to you if you want to get pass this incident," I say. "If you want to talk with someone else about it, I can call them but the longer you keep it to yourself, the harder it will be-"

"I don't want anyone else to know," she interrupts. I nod and wait for her to say something else.

After about five minutes she takes in a deep breath and whispers: "He didn't... He tried but he didn't... ra... rape me."

The scan already told me this. Nevertheless I am glad to hear the confirmation from her. Thinking back on the scan results I ask though, really, it is not really a question: "This was not the first time something like this happened, is it?"

AN: Heya, sorry for the cliffhanger. I thought I could manage to put the whole aftermath of the assault in one chapter, however somehow it just didn't feel right to put it whole just from Severus' point of view. I promise thought, next chapter the mysterious "he" will be revealed. ;)

Thank you all for following and offering some feedback as well as constructive criticism...