I want to thank my great Beta Ennui Enigma, it's finally up!

I don't own the characters of BBC Sherlock, I'm just taking them out to cafes!

Deducing the Deducters

It was a bright sunny day. John and Sherlock were sitting behind a table in the outdoor area of a restaurant.

"Why did you drag me out, John? We're not on a case; there is no reason for me to be here!"

"You were not conducting any experiments; you didn't find the cold cases Lestrade showed you interesting, and it was only a matter of time before you started to tear the flat apart, Sherlock. Now at least you can enjoy some fresh air and eat something."

Sherlock picked at a small portion of his food and began to eat it. "This is boring." He muttered.

"I thought you'd like to try somewhere new. I'm sure you can find a distraction with all these people around us."

"Hmm, alright then." Sherlock leaned back on his chair. "Let's see how much your deduction skills have improved, John. What can you tell from the couple sitting on your right?"

"Well, they're on a date."

"Obviously!"

"It's their first date. They're roughly the same age and I think they're not exactly compatible, judging from their clothing. I'm guessing they met online."

Sherlock glanced over at the couple "This is their first and last date."

"Oh, so you're a relationship expert now?" John teased "Please enlighten me!"

"They are definitely not compatible. The young man is wearing several silver rings and a thick chain around his neck. He's wearing his shirt with his collar buttons open, indecently so, I might say, and he has used far too much product in his hair. This shows him to be someone who belongs to that species known as play boys. The girl's attire on the other hand is modest and professional. Her shawl shows her artistic style. Notice also that she has only ordered an orange juice, but it's lunch time, which shows she wants this date to be over with as soon as possible."

"I wonder what is happening between those three over there, only the girl in the middle is talking."

"She's trying to set the boy and girl up, probably a well-meaning mutual friend."

"Well, she's in for a big disappointment. Neither party is interested in the other."

"How many of these setting up sessions have you endured then, John?"

"Enough to know the torture those two are going through! Haven't you ever been set up with anyone?"

"In order to be 'set up' I would need to have friends stupid enough to do that. Fortunately I don't have any friends with that level of stupidity."

"I'll take that as a compliment," John said with a smile.

"So John, what can you tell me about that middle aged couple on your left?"

"Hmm, they are not romantically involved. That much is apparent from their body language. They know each other very well. They're not comfortable enough to be brother and sister though."

"They're cousins. The male is from New York, he has come over here on a business trip and has had to fit a family reunion in his schedule."

"Oh, he's here to chat with his favorite cousin, how sweet!"

"How can you tell that?" Sherlock looked at John with some surprise

"Well, he's on a tight schedule and he's cut the reunion short, these events take up to a whole day at least, but he's here in an outdoor restaurant with his cousin, which means he prefers her company to the rest of the throng of his relatives. So she's definitely his favorite cousin!"

"I see."

"Really Sherlock?"

"Sentiment?"

"Yup!" Then John looked around to find a new group to be scrutinized. "Ok, so what do you gather from that group of brunets sitting on your right?"

"They're members of a family, mother and her two daughters."

"Girls day out!"

Sherlock looked confused for a moment but he brushed it aside. "Any way, the mother is-" his eyes suddenly widened by a fraction, he looked straight ahead of himself and tried to hide a smile.

John turned his head to look at the brunet trio. The mother had her face in both her hands, from what John could see her face was flushed a deep red. The younger daughter had her hand under her nose as if to stop a sneeze, but from the twist of her mouth it was evident that she was trying to stifle a fit of giggles. The elder daughter seemed confused by her family's actions.

John felt a twinge of sympathy for her. Just then she turned and her eyes met John's. Her eyes widened in realization, she turned her head back abruptly and pinched her nose, trying not to laugh, but failing to control the shaking of her shoulders. When her mother and sister saw her reaction they started shaking harder with suppressed laughter.

John turned back to his original position in his seat and blushed. "Were they-?"

"Yes."

"And we were-?"

"Yes."

John started giggling "Well what do you know! The deducters got deducted!"

Sherlock chuckled "What are you going to name this event in your blog? 'Deducting the deductors'? Or 'Deductors deductions deduced'?"

"Good to see you're amused!" John said with a good-humored smile.

"I can go on John, the possibilities are endless!"

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