Disclaimer: Neither Harry Potter nor the Lord of the Rings belong to me. All copyright is properly owned by their respective owners – Rowling and Tolkien and whoever else they might belong to.

Author's Note: Just a quick intro – this fic was inspired by a similar Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings crack fic written by Publicola called Different Strokes for Different Folks. It's hilarious and a must read though it's only one chapter! I always wanted to write a humorous crossover that possibly had Harry romancing Arwen, Eowyn, and even Galadriel. There won't be slash in this fic not that I have problems with it in real life but this fic isn't slash. So enough rambling and let the story begin!

P.S. This is not meant to be Frodo-bashing, just a different unusual spin that I haven't quite seen anywhere on this site. Not saying I'm god or anything but I wanted to be unique. Also, this chapter was meant to be lighter and more humorous but it kind of wrote itself. So now, onto the crossover.

CHAPTER 1: Crashing the Council

Frodo fought down the rising panic in his chest as the Men, Elves, and Dwarves gathered for the Council of Elrond shouted amongst each other in heated voices. Even Gandalf and Lord Elrond themselves had joined the debate, albeit reluctantly, and Frodo did not see how this would end well. In another time, another world, another story, he could well see himself interrupt the argument boldly but nervously at the same time, offering his services to destroy the One Ring.

But he did not know the way, nor did he know if he had the guts to do it. He had taken it thus far but the thought of destroying it made him feel sick to the stomach. He didn't want to admit it aloud for fear of people thinking him corrupted, but he did not want to destroy the Ring. It had grown on him and, truth be told, he knew that the only reason he'd claim to want to destroy it was so that he could hold onto it for a longer time. Of course he actually wanted it destroyed, but his weaker, more selfish side wanted to keep it hidden and safe from the rest of the world.

Frodo knew that if he even looked at the Ring one more time its corruption would be complete and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from snatching it up off that damn pedestal, slipping it onto his finger, and disappearing. He knew these thoughts were wrong and evil and something in the back of his mind told him the Ring was making him think this since it knew the Council was plotting its destruction, but Frodo didn't care. He wasn't as strong as everyone believed he was and could not bear to disappoint him.

No. He needed to get away from the Ring before it bore a hole into his chest that not even time could heal. If he did destroy it, he'd feel empty and hollow inside and would have to leave his friends to wallow in his self-misery alone. He did not want to suffer that fate for he loved the Shire too much. Call it greed or whatever you would but Frodo needed help.

Breathing deeply to calm himself while the Council yammered on, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples slowly and methodically fighting against the pressure to grab the Ring and disappear from the rest of the world forever. His heart broke as each minute wore on but he called out desperately to the Valar for someone else, another hero, to take up the quest that he could not accomplish.

Suddenly, the ground shook.

A shadow ghosted eerily across the sky blotting out the sun. At first, the Council failed to notice until the ground began shaking faster and faster. A musical voice echoed in the air and the Council cried out in alarm, each cursing and swearing in their native language.

Weapons were armed and the elves readied their spells and enchantments. Gandalf clutched his gnarled wooden staff and pointed it in the air.

Everyone was tense and strained.

An eerie mist rose up from the earth and the sound of desperate, agonized, whispering shrieks arose from the One Ring as it rocked to and fro – as if it was struggling against something – on the pedestal.

"Save us! Save us!" It seemed to be chanted, beseechingly. "The Chosen One has come to destroy!"

The Council waited with bated breath for this dreadful being so powerful that it could make a tool of the Enemy afraid.

For the longest time, nothing happened.

Then, when all seemed normal, there was a loud, ear-splitting crack.

A young man with messy black hair, piercing green eyes, and dressed in dark robe appeared in the midst of the Council. Before they could react, the boy pulled out a jewelled, golden sword from his belt, strode over to the Ring and raised the blade high.

They watched in awe and wonder as beams of light pierced the gloom and the sword fell.

A silent clap of thunder echoed throughout Rivendell and the Council cried out in pain as they were all flung backwards by an intense shockwave of raw energy and smoke.

When the fog abated, they dragged their weary and confused selves to their feet and watched in stunned disbelief, not comprehending the sight that greeted them: The boy remained standing, shoulders sagged, head bowed, and sword leaned nonchalantly over one shoulder.

But that was not the shocking part.

The surprise was that the One Ring was destroyed. What was once a powerful tool of the Enemy that could alert His servants to the wearer of the Ring and render the Wearer invisible and make it a Black Rider, albeit a lesser one, was now a circle of shattered gold pieces.

Far off into the distance, one could hear a loud cry of agony that echoed throughout Middle-Earth for at least one whole hour.

When the Council finally regained their senses, Lord Elrond stepped forward in awe and wonder looking reverently into their saviour's eyes.

"Who are you, oh great one?" He asked curiously.

The boy turned and gave the elf lord a wry grin.

"I go by many names," He chuckled. "Some know me as the Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, or the Man Who Conquered or even Lord Black. But I hate titles and fame so I would appreciate it if you call me Harry Potter. Now then, enough pleasantries. If you don't mind, I have a few ideas how to handle that traitor wizard Saruman and the Eastern/Southern foes. Let's continue the meeting, shall we?"

To Be Continued

A/N: Thoughts? Tips? Suggestions? Reviews? Leave one or two and you might see another chapter faster than you thought. I have some free time on hand so I will redeem the time by updating as much of this story as possible. Many thanks in advance!