AT LAST! This chapter gave me no end of trouble. The reason I had so much trouble I think was because this chapter initially started in Maria's POV. A couple nights ago I scrapped what I had already written and restarted it. Took me awhile but I finished it! The story hasn't been too OOC I hope but this is one chapter I'm certain is OOC so be warned! Also , I'd hoped to separate the chapter into two parts and post them back to back but I decided against it. This is the longest chapter I've written for any of my stories (7,900 words before editing) so I hope you guys can stick it out until the end. I was eager to post an update so there may be more mistakes than usual.
I originally planned for this story to end at 5 chapters. It looks like there will be one or two more chapters with a possible epilogue.
Thank you guys for the reviews/follows/favorites! As always I have no beta so all mistakes are my own.
He was nervous, his hands trembling slightly as he waited for Maria to appear. Sarah was holding onto his arm and he wanted to shrug her off. He should have been appalled at his own thoughts. He was her escort on their night out. Technically he was her date, but his thoughts had remained on Maria since the night before. Her tear-stained face was still fresh in his mind. And he was a low person but he couldn't stop the thought that she looked beautiful, whether her eyes and nose were red with tears or not. He tried reminding himself that though she had agreed to the outing, she was bringing a man with her. She'd called him her friend, but as far as Steve had seen in these last months, Maria didn't have any friends. Or at least, not any close ones. He'd never met or heard of this John guy Maria was bringing along. Was he another agent? Steve was embarrassed at his own feelings of jealousy. He hadn't felt this way since Howard Stark had flirted with Peggy. And maybe his memories of that time were beginning to fade but he didn't recall feeling this angry. The thought of Maria and this John person spending any time alone had him clenching his hands.
Sarah felt the sudden tension in his arm and looked over at him. She'd been chatting with Pepper but whatever she saw in his eyes had her words trailing off. Pepper took one look at his expression and pulled her hand from Tony's. The man barely noticed, his hand slipping into his pocket at her absence, his expression one of deep concentration as he spoke to Bruce. Pepper asked to have a moment alone with him. He nodded and pulled away from Sarah with a sense of relief. He shot her a reassuring smile to soothe his own feeling of guilt. She smiled back uncertainly, clearly not mollified. He wasn't surprised. She wouldn't have made it far as she had as an agent if she was fooled by his weak attempt to hide his discomfort. He followed Pepper to a corner of the Lobby, surprised when she led him through a door into a small office. He had always assumed the inconspicuous door was a storage closet.
Pepper moved behind the desk and sat down, gesturing to the seat in front of the desk. He sat down and tried to ignore the feeling that Pepper was reprimanding him as if he was a errant student. As he sat down Pepper sighed and folded her hands together, only fueling his feeling of guilt.
"What's wrong, Steve?"
He spoke carefully, pasting an expression of confusion on his face. "I'm not sure what you mean, Miss Potts." He cringed at his own formality. It was doing nothing to dispel the feeling that he was a student being punished.
Pepper sighed again and drummed her fingers impatiently on the desk. "Steve, I'm not your mother, not your boss or your teacher. Though I feel a little like the last one right now," Pepper muttered. "I'm your friend, and I care about you. You've been uncharacteristically sullen tonight and I'm worried. Did something happen?"
Steve did his best to smile. "I'm sorry Pepper. I wasn't aware it was that obvious. I'm feeling a little out of sorts tonight. If I hadn't promised Sarah I would be coming out I would probably be staying in my room tonight."
"I see." Pepper hesitated. "Would this have anything to do with Agent Hill?" He opened his mouth to protest but Pepper hurried on. "I know she's coming with us tonight, but imagine my surprise when I found out that the two of you are coming with different people. Why is that?"
Steve felt petulant at the reminder that another man would be Maria's date tonight. "I don't think that's any of your business Pepper." He reminded her coldly.
Pepper sighed again, her exasperation clear as she rolled her eyes. She was far from deterred by his cold tone, seeing the pain behind his eyes. "Damn it Steve! I'm trying to help you, as your friend. I warned you that starting a relationship with Agent Hill was going to be far from easy! Where the hell is that determined man from a few weeks ago? Where the hell is the man who was willing to fight for the woman he loved? He certainly isn't sitting in front of me and I want to know why."
Steve's expression crumbled, his shoulder's dropping as he realized she was right. This thing with Maria was making him feel out of control. Despite his recent resolve to no longer force his feelings on Maria he was still hopeful that she would come to him. And he would drop everything at the drop if she gave him the smallest hint she cared about him. He would tell Sarah to have a good life and he would tell Nick Fury to go to Hell. He would do anything short of ignoring a summons to save the world just to replace the image of her tears with a smile. He wanted her forgiveness, no matter the consequence. He felt like less than scum for finally agreeing to a date with Sarah, knowing he had nothing to offer her but friendship. What he'd told Maria last night had only been a half-truth. Sarah had offered to take him dancing, had practically demanded it. He just had no intention of agreeing until he'd seen Maria's swollen eyes. He felt lost, and Pepper wanted to know why.
"She cried." Steve murmured. "When I went to tell her that I loved her, when I finally got up the courage to tell her how I feel, she cried." He wasn't explaining it properly but he couldn't get past her tears, shed because of him.
Pepper blinked. "You mean when you told her you loved her, she cried? Are you sure she wasn't just happy?" She could hear the doubt in her own voice. Maria Hill was anything but soft. Pepper could see her laughing at Steve's declaration if she didn't feel the same, maybe getting angry, but crying?
"No." Steve shook his head. "I'm explaining it wrong. Fury summoned me and told me to back off and leave her alone. I told him that I loved her and that I wouldn't give up. I think she heard us. When I went to her room afterwards it was clear she was crying and they weren't tears of joy. She was miserable and she tried to hide it from me. So I decided to leave her alone. I never wanted to make her unhappy."
Pepper had been in the middle of standing up to go and comfort him. She dropped back on the seat with shock. Maria Hill had cried? Steve was probably right to come to such a conclusion. Reacting with misery to a declaration of love wasn't a good sign. To see her react so negatively had to mean that she cared for Steve's feelings, but it also indicated she didn't feel the same way. Poor Steve. Had he been reading her wrong all this time? Had he misread an overture of awkward regard and friendship as a sign of uncomfortable attraction and hidden feelings of adoration? Maria wasn't an easy person to read so the mistake would be an easy one to make. She had no friends that Pepper had ever seen so if she opened up to anyone, especially a man that was clearly attracted to her, than obvious conclusions could be made. Steve had just made the wrong ones. Pepper wanted to smack Maria Hill for getting his hopes up. She felt an almost motherly concern for Steve and the rest of the Avengers, even knowing that those like Steve, Thor and Natasha were significantly older than her. They had all reminded her of children at some point since she'd met them. Steve with his confused and awe-filled wonder of the world he'd woken up to. Thor with his boyish charm and spoiled child attitude when he was refused. Natasha with eyes that had seen everything, but who still couldn't hide the pain she felt when faced with cruelty to children, reminding her perhaps of her own upbringing. And of course Tony, who she loved more than words but who she wanted to throttle daily as he followed his every whim with the carelessness of a child. It was watching the people around her, constantly worrying about the people she cared for that made her feel older than they were. And despite Maria's position as liaison to the team, and her close contact in their day to day lives, she felt little to no connection to the woman. They didn't speak to each other, Maria making her disapproval of Tony and distrust of the rest of his team clear with every word that came out of her mouth. How the hell a man as likable, trusting, and open as Steve had managed to fall for her still stumped Pepper.
She focused past the urge to rip Maria Hill apart and turned her attention to Steve. He looked miserable, and rightly so, having his heart trampled on so recently. She wanted to hug him and tell him it was going to be okay but he was a grown man and it would probably only make him feel worse. So she waited for him to come out of his misery, patting the hand he'd rested on the desk. He pulled himself together quicker than she expected, but he was still Captain America after all. He'd witnessed some of the worst horrors in the world and he wouldn't be as strong as he was without his ability to compartmentalize his emotions. He looked at her with a resolved smile and she nodded at him, insanely proud of the man he was. There was one thing she needed to bring up though and her expression sobered.
"Steve, is Sarah just a rebound?"
Steve's smile slipped, his uncertainty at the phrase making his brow furrow. "A rebound? I'm not particularly familiar with some sports but that is a basketball term right?"
Pepper smiled in amusement. "Yes, it's a basketball term. When used to describe a relationship it means you are trying to distract yourself from Maria's rejection with someone else."
As he realized what she was implying he frowned. "I'm not using Sarah as some sort of…distraction," he insisted. But even as he said it he realized there was some truth in his statement. That what Pepper was implying wasn't half of his faults. Maybe he hadn't consciously made the decision, but somewhere he knew he was trying to make Maria jealous. Sarah was a beautiful, smart, warm woman and any man would be lucky to date her, Steve included. But she wasn't the woman he wanted and he'd agreed to a date for all of the wrong reasons. He'd used her unintentionally. He hung his head in shame. Why did women have to be so complicated? Saving the world, fighting evil was something he knew was right. Why couldn't a relationship be so simple?
He hadn't realized he'd spoken the thought aloud until Pepper laughed. "Oh, Steve! Relationships aren't meant to be simple, or we'd all die of boredom and lose interest. A solid relationship has to be worked at. If I didn't love Tony, I would have left him many times over. It isn't easy being the woman behind a brilliant mind like Tony's but in the end it's worth it. He makes me happy, makes my life an adventure and I wouldn't want it any other way."
Steve nodded and then jumped as a knock sounded on the door. They were given no time to answer as the door was shoved open immediately and Tony strolled into the room.
He immediately started to whine. "What's taking you so long, Pepper? I've been standing there this entire time alone with nothing to do. I'm bored!"
Pepper sighed with impatience but winked at Steve as she stood up. "Why not speak to Bruce? That's what you were doing when I left. Or talk to Sarah? Steve has been busy with me so she must have been bored too."
Tony sighed dramatically. "Banner's busy with his girlfriend." Tony shuddered as if the word alone could give him cooties. "Watching him and Romanoff acting all cutesy together is enough to make me sick. The fact that they managed to hide their relationship from me for so long speaks for both Bruce's intelligence and Natasha's skills as an assassin. But they couldn't hide for long." Tony spent a moment to ensure that Pepper was suitably impressed with his skills of observation, or as was actually the case his lack thereof. He waved his hand carelessly. "And that Sarah woman isn't worth my time. She's as mindless as the rest of SHIELD's agents. She can't even keep up in a discussion about the basics of quantum mechanics." He rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you see in her Rogers. Even Hill would be a better choice. At least she entertains me with her sarcastic wit." Steve froze, but Tony didn't seem to notice and continued to talk. "I'm happily taken," he winked at Pepper, wrapping his arm around her, "but I have to say she sure knows how to clean up. That John guy isn't a bad sort either. Funny guy." Steve followed them out of the room, barely noticing when Sarah appeared at his side.
Steve looked around for Maria immediately, finally spotting her standing beside a tall dark-haired man. Their backs were to him so they weren't immediately aware of his presence. He almost growled at the sight of the man's hand resting on the bare skin of her back. Her dress was made out of light blue chiffon with knotted straps and a low cut back. He stared at the column of her exposed neck with longing. He wanted to walk up behind her and kiss her soft skin, pull her hair out of its elegant bun and sink his fingers into her long dark hair. He wanted to pull the straps of her off-shoulder dress to the side and nibble on the smooth expanse of her skin. For a second he lost himself in the fantasy of undressing her. He was interrupted when Sarah tried to gain his attention by tugging on his sleeve. He jumped and stared at her with a guilty expression. By her grim expression he could tell she'd seen him undressing Maria with his eyes. He smiled apologetically and held out his arm for her grasp. She did so reluctantly, shooting a confused but jealous look between Maria and Steve.
Maria turned at Sarah's loud clearing of her throat. There was a small relaxed smile on her face that disappeared the instant she saw Steve. He cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to loosen the sudden tightness. He had no words as he took her in. The V-neck of her dress wasn't as low cut as her back but the swell of her breasts still managed to make his mouth water. The dress had a cinched waist, with small pleats that ran the length of her dress from her waist to the flared bottom. He tried again to speak but his mind was too distracted as he stared at her face. Her hair was swept to the side, her eyes outlined by dark eyeliner that only brought out the blue of her eyes. Her lips were shimmering with a light gloss but the red tinge in her cheeks was natural as she blushed at Steve's speechless perusal.
"You look beautiful." He finally managed.
"Thanks Captain. You don't look bad yourself." She seemed to regain her composure and she gave him a once-over with an appreciative smile. The man beside her coughed. Maria nodded to him. "Captain, this is my friend John Williams, one of our international operatives. He's based out of Britain usually but he was lent to us to help us on an investigation. His skills are highly valued and indispensible to SHIELD." She turned her gaze to Steve. "John this is Steve Rogers, alias Captain America. He leads the Avengers initiative."
John nodded at him and held out his hand. "It's an honour to meet you, Captain. I've heard a lot about you. I've seen the media coverage surrounding the incident in New York and the way you handled the Chitauri invasion with such minimal losses was truly amazing."
Steve managed a tight smile. He felt slighted by Maria's introduction. The fact that she seemed eager to share John's 'indispensable skills' pricked his pride. But it was hearing her call John her friend so easily and without hesitation that really hurt. "Please, call me Steve."
He made small talk with John for a few moments but was thankfully saved from further conversation when Pepper announced their limo was waiting outside. Normally he would feel uncomfortable riding in a limo, feeling it was unnecessarily extravagant but he was grateful to be able to keep an eye on the interaction between Maria and John. The limo was spacious, easily fitting their entire party with room to spare. Steve settled closest to one window, Sarah pressed to his side. There was a gulf between Sarah and Bruce, who was currently speaking intimately with Natasha, their heads lowered close together. Facing Steve and Sarah were Maria and John. John had his hand placed casually on Maria's knee, his head lowered to hers as he spoke in her ear. She was laughing quietly at whatever he was saying, her face flushed. Steve wanted to grab John by his collar and throw him out of the limo. Instead he glanced over at Tony and Pepper but looked away hastily. Pepper was sitting on Tony's lap feeding him. Sarah kept trying to gain his attention and he nodded distractedly to whatever she said. He wished she wouldn't sit so close. It was stuffy in the limo despite the air conditioning and he needed space. He glared at John again as Maria laughed at something else he said. Sarah seemed to finally tire of his inattention. When he muttered another vague reply to whatever she was saying she sighed loudly and pulled away from Steve's side.
He thanked God she'd finally gotten the hint he wasn't in the mood to talk. Of course he felt immediately guilty for ignoring her but not guilty enough to initiate another conversation. They remained awkwardly silent as the couples around them chatted animatedly, Sarah's heel tapping on the floor of the limo. She sighed again and called out to John. He pulled away from Maria and raised an inquiring eyebrow. Steve wanted to punch the smug smile off of his face. Sarah engaged John in a conversation about England and the differences in command and regulations. Maria looked between the two of them with a wary expression. Steve was just relieved that Sarah was providing a useful distraction. Now he just needed to figure out what to say to Maria.
A couple minutes later Sarah left his side, easily sliding in the space between John and the tangle of Tony and Pepper. Maria was all but forgotten as John started to flirt outrageously with Sarah. Steve was incredulous. How could he so easily switch his affection from Maria to Sarah? In Steve's eyes there was no comparison for beauty and intelligence. Yet John seemed to have done just that, his smile charming and suggestive as he played with Sarah's hair. Sarah seemed to be enjoying the attention, if her schoolgirl giggle and flushed cheeks was any indication.
Steve was frowning at John, this time for ignoring his lovely date. He might not want John to be with Maria but he thought it was rude to flirt with someone else on their date. Maria must be humiliated. John looked up just as his frown turned into an outright glare. John seemed startled by his anger and for a second he stopped speaking, shrugging his shoulders as if to ask what was wrong. Steve nodded his head at Maria, who was looking out the window with a forlorn expression. John seemed to take the hint. He leaned over to Maria and tapped her on the shoulder. Maria turned towards him and tilted her head in query. John spoke to her quietly, gesturing once in Steve's direction. Maria glanced towards him with a frown, her voice rising in protest at whatever John was saying. If Steve wanted to he could focus on what they were saying, his hearing better than the average person after he was given the super soldier serum. He wanted to but he didn't. Finally Maria seemed resigned and in a move that surprised Steve she got up from her seat and sat beside him. Her leg brushed against his and he froze in shock. There was plenty of space but she chose to sit close. He tried desperately to think of something to say but she spoke first.
Maria had been a nervous wreck in the hours leading up to their outing. Natasha had come to her rescue and they'd set out to look for a dress the moment the stores had opened. They treated it as a mission, setting a game plan and pacing themselves as they went from store to store. By the time they stopped at a small bistro for lunch Maria was beginning to think it was hopeless. Natasha had tsked at the apparent lack of quality they'd found, chastising Maria for waiting until the last minute. When Maria pointed out that she'd only been invited the night before Natasha waved her hand in dismissal.
"You should always have a dress ready for just such an occasion. The first time Bruce invited me to dinner I already had the perfect dress picked out in my head by the time he finished stuttering out his invitation." Natasha's words seemed harsh but they were gentled by her affectionate smile. It was tantamount to a declaration of devotion on her part, the expression foreign on her usually stoic face.
Maria sighed in defeat. "I have dresses, dozens of them for the ridiculous political functions I'm required to attend. But you've seen them all and none of them are right. I want him to take one look at me and…and…" she slammed her fist down. "And declare that he was wrong! Sarah isn't the one he wants. I am!" she sighed. "I want him to look at me like he did only a couple days ago, like I'm the only woman in the world. But I'm afraid it's too late, that he's moved on already. How can he move on so quickly?" She demanded of Natasha. "How dare he pursue me so relentlessly and give that speech to Fury and then…"
Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Give up?" she shrugged. "Men are not very bright and they give up too easily. It's in their nature. I always thought the Captain was the exception but maybe he grew tired of the chase. In the end, perhaps it wasn't worth it to him." She didn't mean to be rude. Her nature was abrasive, her Russian roots influencing her blunt honesty. Maria knew this.
She still ended up in tears, her head buried in her arms as she bawled. She was left alone for minutes as her tears seemed unending. Just as her sobs turned to sniffles Natasha finally reacted, patting Maria on the back awkwardly.
"There, there Maria. Steve is an idiot. He doesn't deserve you."
There was no apology for her earlier statement. Natasha never apologized when she felt she was right. But she comforted Maria as much as she was able until the awkward patting made Maria feel as if Natasha was trying to burp her. She lifted her head and looked around with embarrassment. There were a few stares, women watching her with sympathetic smiles. One woman was glaring at her husband as if it was his fault as he continued to eat his soup completely oblivious. She aimed a smile at all of them, if only to stop the stares. The waitress was standing beside Maria, still waiting for her to order.
"I'm sorry. I got a little carried away."
The woman smiled in understanding. "It's okay, we've all been there. Break ups are never easy and it's always the guys fault, am I right?" She didn't wait for an answer, simply nodding to herself in affirmation. "What can I get you?"
Maria ate quickly and they were out of there the moment the check was given to them. Natasha tried to keep the mood light but it only worked to depress her more. Natasha's idea of light was talking about the various ways they could kill Steve while making it look like an accident. It wasn't what Maria needed to hear. She blamed herself for Steve's sudden disinterest. She'd taken too long to decide, plain and simple. It was nearing three when they finally found the dress. Maria was browsing disinterestedly, trying to force herself to feel enthusiasm when Natasha gasped. Maria looked over and raised an eyebrow at Natasha's beaming smile.
"I found it!" she exclaimed. She pulled the blue dress from the rack with a flourish and waited for Maria to agree.
At first Maria wasn't convinced, feeling it was too long and formal. It wasn't until she was persuaded to try it on that she changed her mind. She'd stared at herself in the mirror with disbelief. The dress was beautiful and she felt beautiful wearing it. They'd paid for it on SHIELD's dime and raced back to the tower to get ready.
By the time Maria was ready to meet everyone in the lobby of the tower she was feeling confident. Her confidence was bolstered by the few glasses of wine she'd had. Natasha had insisted on minimal makeup and Maria agreed. When John arrived to lead her downstairs he'd whistled and told her she was stunning. Maria thanked him but it was Steve's opinion that mattered to her.
John was a friend, nothing more. There were times in the past that they'd skirted the idea of a relationship, even a purely physical one. But there had always been something to stop them. The distance, his current girlfriend, exhaustion after a hard mission. She wasn't as disappointed as she figured she would be. John was a handsome man, able to turn on the charm at a moment's notice but he was a flirt. His nonchalance when discussing sleeping together made her think he could care less either way, which was probably true. He could have any woman he wanted and he knew it. So Maria decided it wasn't worth it. When she'd explained her reasoning he'd smiled good-naturedly and agreed, simple as that. He still tried to get in her pants every time their paths crossed but it was a token effort and they both knew it. She'd come to appreciate him more for the easy friendship he offered her. He'd been one of the only people not turned off by her taciturn nature. He'd teased her until she'd physically shut him up. He hadn't been disturbed by her angry reaction, only teasing her more. It got to the point that she could finally smile at his comments.
When he picked her up at the tower he was flirtatious as usual, complimenting her as expected. He suggested they stay in with a gleam in his eye. Maria was able to laugh it off and punched him playfully. The only man that would actually tempt her with that offer was Steve and he was currently downstairs with his date. They appeared to be the last to arrive and Maria had kept her eyes straight ahead as she crossed the room to where the others were waiting. She glanced around and spotted Sarah standing off to the side but Steve was nowhere in sight. And neither was Pepper. Tony seemed to become aware of this the same time she did, looking around with a bewildered expression.
"Where's Pepper?" he demanded. No one answered but Sarah looked towards to a door across the room. He shot her an annoyed look before he sauntered off.
Maria shook her head in amusement, though she would deny the emotion until the day she died. John placed his hand on her back as he led her to Bruce and Natasha. Natasha he already knew, but he was interested in speaking to Bruce. Most people were fascinated that the mild-mannered doctor could be the Hulk. She smiled as Natasha engaged her in conversation, barely noticing when Pepper and Tony returned. It should have clued in that Steve was probably with Pepper. It wasn't until Sarah had cleared her throat that she saw him. She'd been smiling politely at a joke Natasha had made as she turned. She felt the smile slip off her face as she came face to face with Steve. His eyes were wide, his expression dumbstruck as he took in her appearance. Maria had felt a shiver of satisfaction as he was clearly speechless. Take that Steve. She nodded to Sarah but Sarah only glared back. Maria figured it had something to do with her date completely forgetting about her. When he finally spoke his voice was hoarse but his compliment was a sincere one. She'd thanked him and feeling emboldened by the mix of wine and his reaction to her, she chose to tease him just a little.
The limo ride had started out normally enough. Pepper and Tony had obviously had a few to drink before they'd come down. Pepper was in his lap feeding him. Maria resisted the urge to snort at their ridiculous display. John spoke in her ear, placing his hand on her leg. Maria didn't mind, as it was simply a habit of his. He told her story after story of his glorious conquests, making her laugh at his absurdity. She kept an eye on Steve and Sarah and was pleased to see that Steve was watching them with a dark expression. Sarah was talking to him but he didn't seem to be paying attention. She kept tugging his sleeve until he answered. Maria wanted to smirk.
When Sarah gave up on Steve and chose to focus on John instead Maria merely shrugged it off. She was sure John had a plan to go home with someone tonight. If it was Sarah John went home with that suited her just fine. Maria didn't appreciate the lustful looks Sarah shot in Steve's direction or the thought of Sarah and Steve alone. She chose to distract herself with looking out the window.
As she stared at the passing lights she wondered what it would have been like if Steve had brought her out on this date. She wondered what had made him choose to pull away from her, considering the look he'd given her earlier. She knew he didn't take sex lightly, his views ingrained in him because of the time he was born in. But she was beginning to think that maybe he'd confused lust for love and he'd finally realized it. Maybe he didn't love her, just convinced himself he had. She continued thinking along those lines, only working to depress herself even further.
She was interrupted out of her thoughts when John tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and stared at him.
"I think Steve wants to talk to you." He murmured with amusement, gesturing in his direction.
"What makes you say that?"
"Well either that or he thinks I'm being rude by ignoring my date. Which is amusing considering I was planning on going home with someone else tonight. I wonder what the good Captain would think of me then?" he grinned in amusement. "Okay it's probably both. The puppy dog look he's been aiming at you this entire time is just sad to look at. You should go talk to him."
"No!" she shook her head vehemently. "I'm not going to talk with Steve."
"Look we both know that he has no interest in Sarah. It's clear that the two of you have something going on." He plowed through her denial. "Look Maria, I have never seen you interested in anyone, and that includes me, in all my years knowing you. He wants you, you want him, why complicate things? Now go talk to him. He looks ready to kill me and its making me uncomfortable."
Maria sighed figuring it couldn't hurt to talk to Steve and clear the air. Maybe she could actually get some answers from him. So she got up and sat beside Steve, unable to resist the urge to sit close. He froze and the blush on his face was absolutely adorable. He seemed to be looking for something to say, completely unaware that his mouth was opening and closing without a single word escaping. It made her bold to see how much she still affected him. This wasn't Captain America she was facing, it was Steve Rogers.
"You look good tonight, Steve." And she wanted to die in embarrassment. It wasn't what she'd planned to say but it was true. His tux was custom made and it fit him perfectly. His hair was parted and smoothed down with hair gel. She wanted to run her fingers through it and mess it up. He looked his best just after a mission, his hair rumpled from his mask. It reminded her that he was human, even with all the added strength and speed he'd received after Dr. Erskine's injection.
"Thank you?" His face betrayed his surprise, eyes widening and cheeks flushing at the unexpected compliment.
"What I mean, is that you should wear a tux more often. It suits you. But your hair…"
"My hair?" he asked confused. "What's wrong with my hair?" His hands went to his head automatically, smoothing any imaginary hair that was out of place.
She lifted her hand without thinking, sinking her fingers into his hair before she realized what she was doing. They both froze as their fingers touched. "May I?" she asked quietly. He gave an imperceptible nod and she continued, raising her other hand to join the first.
He remained frozen under her touch but she ran her fingers through his hair gleefully mussing his hairdo. His head tilted towards her, giving her easier access. She started to knead his scalp gently and they were both surprised at his low moan. Their eyes met as she dragged her nails across the nape of his neck. His eyes went from wide-eyed surprise to lust in less than a second. She smiled at his uninhibited reaction to an almost innocent touch. Their faces got closer together, their breaths mingling. They were interrupted by a loud cough.
Maria pulled away, her face flaming as she became aware of their audience. She dared to look around and groaned as everyone was staring at the two of them intently. Bruce had his mouth open and only closed it when Natasha patted his chin gently. Natasha and John shared equal expressions of amusement. Sarah couldn't seem to decide if she wanted to be amused or envious, her confused expression darting between the two of them. Pepper looked slightly disturbed, her eyes boring into Maria's, laced with a warning. Last but not least Tony looked simply bored. He was the only one to speak.
"We're here, but you guys were too busy being weird to notice. Seriously Steve? Getting turned on by being pet like a dog? And by Maria Hill of all people?" He rolled his eyes, seeming to have forgotten his earlier statement that Maria was better suited for Steve than Sarah. "Lame." He exited the limo and pulled Pepper out with him.
Maria and Steve were the last to exit the limo. Steve's head was still ducked in embarrassment, or so she thought. She was about to get out of the limo when Steve grabbed her arm.
"What was that?" His tone was carefully neutral.
"What do you mean?" Maria asked confused.
"I mean, what was that?" Steve suddenly demanded. He lifted his eyes and Maria pulled back, surprised by the frustration in his eyes. "What was the point of that entire thing? I don't understand. Are you playing with me?"
"Playing with you?" Maria was dumbfounded. "Why the hell would I do that?"
"You tell me," Steve insisted stubbornly. "Because I don't get you. I've been trying to get close to you for weeks and you know it. You've made it clear at every turn that I'm not welcome. I get reprimanded by Fury but I still couldn't let go of the idea of us together. I tell him…" He paused and grabbed her chin forcing her to look him in the eyes. "I tell him what I feel for you. And the thought of that clearly made you so miserable you cried." He let his hand drop to his side as he looked away from her. "I'm trying to move on but then you do something like this. You've never touched me voluntarily, not once! And now suddenly you're eager to? I don't understand what I am to you."
Maria was elated at his misery. It was a completely inappropriate reaction but to hear that he'd back off because he thought she didn't want him relieved her beyond belief. He hadn't wanted to give up but he was trying to be a gentleman in his own way. That didn't mean she didn't want to punch him for choosing not to confront her over it. The important thing was that he still wanted her. And she wasn't about to waste another chance.
She cupped his face and pulled it upwards. The misery and confusion in his eyes made her tear up. "I'm sorry." She rested her forehead against his. I'm sorry that I was too stubborn to admit that I had feelings for you. I'm sorry I'm a bitch. I'm sorry that I was so focused on my own issues and doubts that I let you believe for even a second that I didn't want this." She wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed. "I want this Steve more than you know but I'm afraid that you're going to realize one day that I'm not the woman you want. I'm not Peggy."
Speaking that last sentence aloud made her realize what her real issues had been about all along. She didn't want to be second best in anyone's eyes. Steve's love for Peggy had never been a secret. He'd been found with a locket containing her picture around his neck. She was afraid that she could never compare to the woman that was a trailblazer in her time. A woman she'd met who had been warm and caring and whose eyes had filled with regret at seeing Steve still so young while she'd been forced to grow old without him. She was a widow, with children and grandchildren but even Maria had seen that Steve was the one that got away. Peggy was the love of his life. So what did that make her?
Steve didn't say anything for a few moments, instead wrapping his arms around her waist. When he finally did speak his voice was hoarse, his words quietly spoken into the air between them. "I was convinced that Peggy was the love of my life. I carried her picture around with me everywhere I went to sleep every night dreaming of what our future would bring. The world we lived in was fast-paced, filled with battles and death and unending mission after mission. Weeks would pass where I didn't see even a glimpse of her. Of course I missed her. But I wonder now if that was love. She represented the dream. She was my ideal woman, strong and brave and beautiful. I was convinced that after the war we would settle down, share the American dream of a white picket fence, with a steady, unexciting job separate from the war we'd fought so hard to win. I wondered how many kids we would have, hoping that even one of them might be named after me. It was a foolish dream but I didn't realize that at the time. I was never going to be just Steve Rogers, your average working man and Peggy would never have settled for a normal life. My death was a blow to her but she moved on and it took her years to retire from the life of espionage and politics and war. She never wanted a normal life and that was where we might have fell apart. I don't know what could have happened and I choose not to dwell on it. I do know that what I felt for Peggy was only a fraction of what I feel for you. What I feel for you isn't blinded by some fantasy, isn't based on minimal interaction. I've seen you at your worst but what I feel hasn't changed. You will never be Peggy to me, because Peggy could never compare to you, Maria Hill. You are the woman I love."
She had tears in her eyes as she tugged his head down to hers. He froze for a second as her mouth pressed against him, coaxing his lips open. She could taste the salt of her own tears mixed with his unique taste. He finally kissed her back, hesitant as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. She moaned in frustration as she tried to press closer and was hindered by their awkward position. He seemed to be on the same wavelength. In a move that surprised her, he tugged her onto his lap, her legs bracketing his waist. The new position felt like heaven as she could finally feel just how much he wanted her. His hands tugged on the band that held her bun in place and it snapped under the pressure. He sunk his fingers into her hair, tugging her even closer. She couldn't breathe but it didn't matter, as long as he didn't stop kissing her. Her hips ground down without conscious thought and he pulled away from with a groan, his body shuddering.
"Maria." She loved the husky timbre of his voice, his deep baritone giving way to a passionate rasp as he tried to catch his breath.
She didn't give him more than a few seconds before she dived back in, needing his taste on her tongue, his body rocking against hers. She was so close already, with only a few heated kisses and the tight press of their hips together. She could tell he was close to. One hand fell to her hip and dug into her skin almost painfully as the other hand tugged on her hair with demand. She needed him, throwing away caution with reckless abandon. This wasn't her, but she couldn't seem to help herself. She rocked her hips again as she pulled away for another gulp of air. He took that moment to press open-mouthed kisses along her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access as started to nip at her collarbone, his tongue soothing the red marks he left behind. Where the hell had he learned to do that? For a second jealousy peeked through the fog of lust that clouded her mind. Who the hell had he been kissing? She started to pull away but the hand on her hip banded around her waist and he simply tugged her closer.
She was beginning to lose herself again as his mouth returned to hers.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
They both jumped, Maria tumbling backwards out of his lap and hitting the back of her head on the other seat. She laid there for a stunned moment her eyes meeting Steve's. It was clear from both of their appearances what they'd been doing. Hell, whoever was outside probably heard what they were doing. She quickly sat on the seat she'd fallen against, frantically trying to smooth her hair. Steve was the one to slide the window open just a fraction to see who it was. Thankfully it wasn't any of the team. It was their irate looking limo driver. Apparently he'd been waiting for them to get out so he could park and he was now out of patience. Maria blushed, digging through her clutch for an elastic band and some clips to fix her hair. Steve reassured the man they'd be out in a second and he too started to fix himself. He avoided her eyes as he smoothed his clothing and tried to flatten his unruly hair. She smiled at his pointless attempts as she checked her appearance out in her compact. Her lip gloss and eyeliner needed a touch-up and her hair was mussed but manageable. It was the red marks on her neck that she was going to have a hard time explaining. She glanced again at Steve who was watching her with a tender expression. Her breath caught and she decided right then to screw it. Let people make whatever assumption they wanted. It was worth it to see the adoration in his eyes. She shoved the door open and slid out. Steve followed close behind, slipping his arm around her waist possessively as they approached the front doors.
Abrupt ending? Yes, I know but this chapter was getting waaay too long.