Summary:

I never considered him as my brother. But he brought me back to the right path. Should I try to considere him as my brother? Am I too late?

A/N: Finally I finished this fanfic...fyuhh. I've translated it from the original languange. This is my first time to write in english, so if I made a lot of mistakes please forgive me. Critic are welcome :)

SPECIAL A/N: Not forget to mention, I wrote this for one of my friend in FT fandom "Fullbusterrulesmyheart." Big thanks for supporting me to write in english (maybe for now on I'll try to write my fanfic in english). And HAPPY BIRTHDAY for you! Anyway...This fanfic is your birthday gifts *but please don't get upset if itsn't good at all* ;D

Warning! Like I said before, bad english as always... -.-"

Enjoy it!

Fairy Tail © Hiro Mashima

My Brother and Me

Rewinsan

My name is Lyon Fullbuster and now I'm 19 years old. I'll let you read the story of my life during this 19 years with the angel who has now gone. For the first time, I thought this angel was a bad luck. But, it turned out that he just brought me back to the right path. Maybe this is the millions time I thanked that angel. This is the only way to pay for my mistakes. Yeah, this is the lastest way to straighten all of my mistakes. I was so naive, but I wouldn't notice it if the Angel was not there beside me.

Lyon 2.5 years old

This is my first time to see a figure that was called as "brother". My mom hugged him tenderly. Dad also gladly teased him by pinching his cheek. Eventually, he cried and my mom immediately stepped on my dad's foot.

"Hey, Lyon! Come here" Mom asked me to come by her side.

"He's your brother, Gray. He's cute, isn't he? Without asking my opinion, mom called the figure (that was known as brother) as a cute baby. Heh, he wasn't as cute as my favorite strobery candy. Just look at that raven hair, he almost looked like a night sky without the moon and the stars. Then, his pale fair skin. Oh God! He looked like a ghost!. As I know, a baby should have reddish colored skin. Compared to my own skin, It's better if we have tan colored skin, right?

Okay, now let's continue. I was too lazy to describe that figure. So, I just sat quietly beside my mom. Also since then, both of my mom and dad were too busy to look after his need. They almost forgot about me. (Hey! Remember that I'm one of your son and I'm still under-five, So I'm a baby too!) They said that Gray has weak physical condition. That's because he was born prematurely. Therefore he received an extra attention from my parents. (Fine, just forget me already!)

Lyon 6 years old

Horay! Today I'm going to be an elementary student! Of course, I didn't count my position as a big brother. Enough with the position as one of Fullbuster's, position as the first child, and the position as brat kids around the housing. Even I dreamed to enlarge my territory as a brat kids!

Back to the story. Today Dad promised to take me to the school. Since I was a newbie in there. I was sure dad fulfilled his obligations as parents who cared about the safety of their children. Since I was a super naughty brat, dad would not want to see me throwing a tantrum in the first day of school, right?

But, dad's status as parents who cared about his children just disappeared when the unfortunate creature was acting up. Just as my dad opened the car door, about to drive me to school, my mom called daddy while carrying Gray. I had a bad feeling for this.

She was proud to show off that Gray was able to read the newspaper. My dad was truly amazed by this. Then I heard daddy's responses.

"He's so smart! Even Lyon hasn't been able to read fairy tales correctly!"

Hell! It's not my fault that I couldn't read well. Both of you were too busy looking after Gray! Look at your wrist watch, dad! I successfully made a record on the first day, which is called as LATE!

Since that day, I got a new job. Convinced Gray to read fairy tales. Because my dad said that this raven-haired creature still not deserve to see the evil of the world through newspaper. Unfortunetaly, he did not want to read fairy tales book. He instead opened my text book. Then he calculated some mathematic's problem. Becuase of him, I've never opened my text book. I used to glare at him because he stole my position as a student. If he began to solve the problems, I would sit beside him, gave him a glare. This is always done by me. Until I was able to solve the problems too. And I wasn't going to thank him!

Lyon 9 years old

I'm frustrating now! It's all because of mom and Gray's fault. Actually I also felt a little hesitant and confused.

It began with Gray who forced me to accompany him to the cinema to watch a violent movie. (Give me a break? Why Gray who prefers to stick with a thick book suddenly want to watch something violent? What have possessed him?) But, I was wrong. He did this so that I understood that being a punk was not good. He talked much while we were watching the movie. He continued to compare all acts of the gangsters in the movie with myself. He also advised me not to act like them.

After the movie finished, I quickly pulled him back. On the way home, I saw my classmates got beat by seniors. Without thinking, I crashed the seniors. I left Gray behind. I knew he would lecture me cause I did something violent again. But I didn't care! I made sacrifices for the sake of justice! Just like the end of the story of gangsters in the movie!

Done with all of this fistfight, I got many thanks from my friend. Then he promised to be my best friend forever. (Wow, that was really unexpected!) Then I turned to see Gray. I was surprised to see a grain of tears running down his cheeks. Why was this child crying? Not wishing to go home late, I pulled him towards the house. At home, My mom yelled at me. He accused me of fighting in front of Gray. The proof because my clothes were all dirty and worn. I said yes, but I denied making Gray afraid of what I did. But, before she had time to yell at me again, Gray spoke between his sobs.

"It's not like that, mom. I'm proud of him because he fought for safety of his friend. He's a hero!"

Then mom didn't scolhise again, she even promised to make delicious dishes for dinner. She said that all of these are in order to fix the misunderstanding.

"Look, Lyon. Your lil'brother really cares about you. He even defended you" Said mom with her smile.

I looked away "What care?"

Mom smiled again "Therefore, give him your affection, Lyon. He's your only lil'brother"

In the end, mom favored Gray. I was upset and ran into my room. I hit my desk hardly. A pile of books fell down and a few were scattered. (Give affection for that annoying creature? Huh, are you kidding me? I don't even know the form of my affection! It's really make me confused!)

Lyon 15 years old

I've stopped being a bad boy. Somehow I lost the appetite to fight since mom asked about the form of my affection. Until now I couldn't find the answer yet.

Beside of that, at this age I began to date almost all the girls in my junior high school. (I know you can't believe that but it's true!) They felt in love with me cause I had good looking face, and sometime counted as genius too. Well, my family was rich enough so it wasn't weird to be loved by tons of girl, right? You asked me how could I date all of them? Well, it's simple. Just "say hello" then they would stick to me almost every day, talked about everything, got phone number, said that I love them, then we started to date each other, argue, and then it's over! Yeah, it's a chance for me to get a new girlfriend! Lol.

One day, I decieved dad and mom. I said that I have some tasks to do in my friend's house. But the turth wass I would go on date with my newest girlfriend, Juvia Loxar. I promised to accompany her to go to a zoo. Why it had to be zoo? Cause Gray, who's never considered as my brother, approached Juvia. Juvia said that Gray was a cute brother (what?!). I knew the reason why Gray approached her. He really wanted to go to a zoo just for studied about animals characteristic. He planned to practice one of the attributes of a scientist, and that was High Curiosity.

Why did he act like that? Why don't he go by himself or with mom and dad? It's because my parents were to busy and they couldn't let Gray go by himself. And of course I didn't want to go with him. And unfortunately, I invited Juvia to my home. Well, at that moment with all the acting, Gray appeared before the two of us who were watching a movie on the flat-screen TVs. Gray accidentally offered a drink for both of us.

"Want me to make a drink?" asked Gray.

"You're so kind, Gray! Not like your older brother! He's so ignorant!" said Juvia (hello juvia! He's not my brother!). I was a bit angry, but since I loved her, I couldn't yell to her.

"Then, what about our date? Where will we go?" asked Juvia. Gray was still preparing some tea.

For almost 10 minutes we were arguing about the dating place. Gray were busy watching us and finally he spoke up.

"What about Zoo?" said Gray. He acted like a very cute kid with the expression that couldn't be denied. Just like that and Juvia immediately agreed. I didn't agree about that! Moreover Gray would come with us. But, for my beloved Juvia, I had to be patient.

As a result, Zoo was my best place to date. And cause of that I became more fond of her and could not break this relationship. Why couldn't I? Cause while Gray were busy with his curiousness, I and Juvia instead equalized our face with some animal's face. And I thought this is funny (you should try it!)

Since that, I decided to stop my playboy behavour. I've felt comfortable being next to Juvia.

Lyon 17 years old

I never imagined things like this would happen. Gray, who's never considered as my brother, suddenly got ill and he had to stay at Hospital. Right when I was going to celebrate my 17th birthday with my classmates.

It happend when I was ready to leave my home with Juvia, but suddenly Gray appeared. He said that he wanted me to not leave the house. I was angry with him. Why did he always disturb my life? Wasn't enough for him to get many attentions and being genius like that? Then, I pushed him until he fell over. Juvia shocked and she helped Gray to stand. This made my anger exploded. I pulled away Juvia from him. I didn't like Juvia give him attention like that. It's like she cared more towards him. Actually I've refrained from hitting this pesky brother since 2 hours ago. Gray continued to keep me at home with the reason "my head is dizzy." Really? I've got to immediately attend my party! And even worse Juvia believed him. She appeared to be more attentive to Gray than I did that in fact she's my girlfriend.

"Juvia, why did you chose to accompany this wretched child than with me?" I felt very angry so that I yelled at her. Juvia stood beside Gray with a shocked face.

"Why? Didn't you realize that your brother looks so pale since 3 hours ago? She yelled at me too.

"Pale? This person will never get that kind of illness! He's too greedy! He took everything from my life!"

"He's not just a person, Lyon! He's your brother!"

"STOP THAT!"

"LYON!"

"You do know that he always want to be with you! Why is he always take everything from me?!"

"Lyon..."

"And don't tell me that you have fallen for him!?"

"Lyon! I never think about that! I did this cause I care about you and your family! And, why don't you worry about Gray's condition? Where is your affection as a big brother?!"

Emotions overflowed in me. Why did she remind me of that affection things?! Enough! I didn't want to mess around with that simple things! I felt uneasy when I first took Juvia to my house. She became more attentive to Gray. I've been patient enough for this. But patience has its limits, too, right?

"Fine! Just take care of him! I don't want to see you anymore! It's over between you and me!" then, I walked out from my home. Suddenly...

Slap

Juvia stand in front of me and slapped me.

"What did you..."

"It's never cross on my mind that you will think like that! Is it simple for you to break me up? Lyon, I've always stayed by your side! I never betray you! I did this so that you won't get anything bad happen!" she cried.

I couldn't say anything and I leaved her just like that. And then, what Juvia said about something bad really happend to me. It's like God regretted for giving me a brother.

Gray's dizziness occured because his heart weakened so that the blood in his body somewhat hampered. The doctor said that it happend because Gray was born prematurely and he was not lucky because one of his organs was not working perfectly.

Again, I couldn't say anything.

Mom and Dad looked so sad. Dad continued to calm her. I saw Gray lying on the hospital bed. mActually I still felt upset. Because of him, my party was canceled. But, it would look weird if I yelled at him in the hospital. So I decided to wait until he opened his eyes.

A week has passed, but Gray still in a state of unconsciousness. Every day I saw the doctors and nurses recheck the device that attached in Gray's hands and nose. Even now they were adding one more tool in Gray's chest. Since I couldn't wait any longer, I called Juvia. Somehow I felt uneasy and I need her right now. How stupid I was, to break her up just like that.

I didn't like to wait, but I hah to. Gray was not my brother cause I never considered him as a brother. But I didn't like to see him in that condition. I prefer to see him sitting quietly, reading a super thick book in home rather than just lying quietly in the room that filled with the smell of drugs.

Lyon 19 years old

(Today is Gray's birthday. Now he's 17 years old) He was acting up again by teasing me.

"I think... I'm old enough to see our God" he said on the sidelines of laughter and jokes that Juvia did with him.

I had to be patient for this. It was so hard to make up with Juvia. And I wouldn't let Gray to ruin my patience and yelled at Juvia again.

"What did you say? You want to see God?" I chuckled "You did a lot of sin and God doesn't like it"

"Hahaha...You're right" although he was laughing, but I felt a hint of sadness between his laughter.

Unlike me, Juvia instead responded him with a worried tone "Don't say something like that, Gray!"

Gray laughed again "Hahaha...I was just kidding"

"Juvia, let's go out from here" I stood up and grabbed Juvia. Actually I knew Juvia wanted to protest. However, the time to visit was over and I wanted to leave Gray. Besides, I wanted to calm my heart. Since last week, I felt a tremendous chaotic. It felt like I wanted to do something but I did not know what to do. I wanted to hold onto something but I didn't know what was that. I've talked about this to Juvia. And since then Juvia always asked me to come to the hospital to see Gray. No matter how busy she was, Juvia would invited me. Normally I would rejected it. But lately, for some reason I felt like I always wanted to see Gray. Or just to know that he was still there...

"Lyon"

Suddenly, Gray called me and interrupted my thoughts "What?"

"Hey! Don't be too harsh! Remember that he's your lil'brother!" Juvia pushed me back to Gray's room.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" I started to protest her. But, I was stunned by her expression.

"He doesn't have much time, Lyon" said Juvia. She tried to keep smiling despite that it looked so sad in my eyes.

Juvia closed the door and let me stayed in this room only with Gray. My body refused to stay here, but somehow, it felt like there was something that holding me back. As if I was forced to face the reality. I didn't like the atmosphere. My heart was getting more uneasy.

"Until now, do you still hate me?" asked Gray.

It's the first time he asked that matter. I nodded slowly.

"Don't you want to think me as your lil'brother? He asked again. I didn't answer him. This time I dared to look at him. Too look at his wistful face.

Gray smiled "I'm sorry, big brother. I won't be long anyway"

"What did you mean?" I finally spoke. This time I approached him. Tonight, the moonlight seemed so pale. As pale as the figure that lying in front of me.

Gray took both of my hands. His hand was shaking. I couldn't stand this feeling.

"I'm glad to be your brother. You're a good-hearted's person. I know it because you're very concerned about everything around you "Gray said softly.

I stared at him speechless. My eyes was getting wet. I didn't know why.

"I... I love you as a brother. And...I'm sorry to be a burden since the time I was born. "Gray eyelids started to close slowly.

"G..Gray..."

"I had so much fun...living in this world. To be..a part of family that..I really love until now..."

"Gray... I..." I felt so unstable. (No! This is not what I want! Why did you say that Gray?!)

"My little brother...Gray..." right when I said something that buried deep inside of my heart for a long time, Gray closed his eyes...forever.

That night I just realized, about the form of affection that always puzzled me. And It was him whom I wanted to hold since a week ago. All this time, I never realized that actually deep inside my heart, I really cared about Gray. I cared my brother. But I never admited it and burried it cause I didn't like it. to be someone who's really love his brother. I was affraid if he's gone, I couldn't let him go. But, that night, God called Gray. However great my effort to hate him, I still loved him. God seemed to know this was going to happen and let me hated my brother. God knew that I was actually a weak child. Even the first day when I saw Gray, I couldn't show my affection for him cause he would just live for a short time.

Gray was there by my side cause God wanted me to not drown in a weakness and choose the path of darkness. Like the time when Gray told me about the dangers of violence, made me stop playing with girls, and helped me realized the true meaning of affection. He was like an angel that God sent to me. And when I've been on the right path, God would took back his angel.

"If it really is the best way for me to let him go, I'm willing to. I am willing with all my heart. Gray, someone who's never considered as my brother, but always there in my heart. My little brother, Gray, goodnight. Thank you for all these years. Big brother will always love you..."

End

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