Dean scrubbed his face with his hands, the cool water washing off his freckled skin. Not even attempting to suppress a yawn, Dean proceeded to dry his face on the towel by the bathtub, the only clean towel left. The rest were all soiled with dirt or blood.

Dean looked into the mirror, appraising the goods—damn, he still had it. Even after all these years. He looked good for a man who had died countless of times and been to hell and back. Better than most people even. He flashed a satisfied grin into the mirror before heading out.

Sam was still asleep in his bed, curled up like a child—the only way he was gonna fit in the bed. Dean held back a snort at his own joke and sat down on the side of his own bed, observing the wild mess of hair on Sam's pillow, resisting the urge to ruffle his hand through it. Sammy would choke under all that hair one day, Dean pointed out to himself with a smirk.

Dean leaned his head back and closed his eyes. These past few weeks had been exhausting more than anything. He finally had Cas back, but he felt conflicted about it. Cas still hadn't explained everything. Sure, he'd said it wasn't his fault but Dean couldn't believe that. It was always his fault. Bobby, Ellen and Jo, even John. They would all be alive and well if Dean had protected them like he should. Even the goddamn apocalypse had been his fault. If he only…

"Shit!" Dean hissed. His jaw clenched and the green eyes became clouded. He drew a short breath, exhaling it slowly, as if the air in his lungs was sharp as knives.

Everything had fucked up lately. Things were still tense between him and Sam, and now Cas said he wanted to become a hunter. Perhaps Dean should be thrilled, but at the same time, he didn't want to risk losing Cas again. Cas might be an angel but he wasn't completely healed yet. His powers weren't as strong, especially not after his little stunt with Crowley three weeks ago.

It wasn't only the worry that made Dean feel uneasy. There was something else as well. Dean couldn't believe Cas had chosen purgatory over him, how could he just leave him? For redemption? All the things Cas had done in the past, Dean didn't even care about it anymore. Cas was back and that was the end of it. He didn't want to watch another family member die, he'd gotten his fair share of that—enough for a lifetime or two in fact.

On top of it all, Cas had gone on a hunt alone. Okay, perhaps he was stronger than most things out there, but Dean was still worried. He didn't want to sit and overanalyze things like some little girl, but something had been off lately. Not only with Cas, but with himself as well. Whenever he saw him, there was this weird feeling in his chest. A feeling he had suppressed and ignored for quite some time.

It couldn't be what he thought it was.
It couldn't.

Dean stretched out on the bed, put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. Seriously, what was up with him lately?

"Dean?" said a familiar voice. Dean opened his eyes and his gaze fell upon the angel, who sat on the side of his bed and stared at him intently with that piercing blue gaze of his. Dean sat up in the bed, slightly confused.

"Cas? Why are you here? I thought you went off on a hunt" He asked. Castiel tilted his head and put a hand on Dean's chest, the warmth of his fingers making Dean somewhat uncomfortable, or more like uncomfortable over the fact that he wasn't uncomfortable. He wasn't even sure anymore.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, suspicious. Castiel leaned closer, with his usual lack of personal space. How many times did Dean have to tell him?

"Isn't this what people do? When they like each other…"Castiel replied. Dean swallowed, perplexed and at a loss for words. "Um, have you been watching too much TV again?"

Castiel smiled and Dean felt a sudden urge to push him down. This was nuts, all of it, but perhaps it was just the lack of physical affection. The inhabitants of purgatory were more of the tear-you-apart kind and Dean wasn't into that, the thought made him smile, but it was a mix of his everyday sarcasm and pain.

He reached down and grabbed the angel's hand, intent on removing it from his chest, but then something inside him wouldn't let him. If he let Cas' hand go, maybe he would disappear somewhere again, maybe he would never see him again. Dean didn't want that. What he really wanted was—he interrupted his own thoughts. No, no, no…what was he thinking?

That couldn't be it, right?

Castiel had been by his side for so long, they've been through so much and even now, with hell breaking loose again, Cas was the only one he felt comfortable with. For the first time in a very long time, he felt safe.

Screw it, Dean thought and pulled the angel towards him, staring into his eyes before pulling him into a passionate kiss. The kiss was greedy, forceful, as if he'd reached the point of no return.

He'd waited too long for this. This was exactly what he wanted, there was no use running from it anymore. Castiel responded with the same enthusiasm, fingers digging into the back of Dean's neck and through his hair. Dean slipped his hands under the angel's trench coat, slipping it off his shoulders. Then he pushed the angel down on the bed.

Dean didn't even care about the fact that Sammy was still sleeping in the bed next to them, or perhaps he'd just forgotten all about him.
Dean needed this, more than he needed anything else right now.
He needed Castiel.

With a short gasp, Dean opened his eyes, only to find himself lying on the bed, alone.

It had all been a dream. A fantastic but overwhelmingly confusing dream. These dreams who usually involved beautiful, frisky women, was now replaced by an angel—who also happened to be a guy. Of course, it had to be a dream. No way would Castiel, an angel of the lord be so forward in real life.

Well, even if you don't know it Cas, you're technically not a virgin anymore, Dean thought and a smile spread across his lips as he sat up in the bed.

Somehow, he felt slightly relieved. He couldn't really deny it to himself any longer; he was in love, which actually explained a few things. Maybe he'd been for a long time.

"You okay?" Sam asked. Dean's heart jolted in surprise, he had forgotten all about Sam. Sam sat on the edge of his bed, elbows against his thighs and eyes locked on Dean. "Uh, yeah. Good. Why?" Dean stumbled with his words and tried to keep up a calm surface, not feeling quite ready to share the deepest of desires with his baby brother. He preferred to avoid awkward family situations.

"You called out in your sleep. For Castiel," Sam said and gave his brother a raised eyebrow. Dean turned his face away, intent on not letting Sam see the sudden flush on his cheeks.

Few things made him embarrassed, but this was one of those things. He could joke around about porn with Sammy as much as he wanted, but talking about Cas, now that was another thing entirely.

"He's an angel, Dean. He'll be okay," Sam said and Dean nodded in agreement.

"You're sure you're alright?" said a voice behind him, much deeper than Sam's. Dean turned around and met with Castiel's gaze.

"Castiel", Sam greeted and Castiel greeted him in return before he looked at Dean with raised brows, worry evident in his face.

"Cas? Aren't you supposed to be on a hunt?" Dean asked.

"Mission accomplished," He said and looked proud. "You were calling…I had to come and make sure you were alright."

Dean's throat felt dry all of a sudden. Looking at Castiel now, all Dean could think about was how adorable he was. Those big puppy eyes and the constant seeking of approval. Dean couldn't help but smile, although a part of him felt unsettled. He played with the thought of telling Cas of his feelings, but how could he? That would be weird, wouldn't it?

To hell with all of it.

"Cas? I need to talk to you for a second. Alone," Dean demanded. Castiel frowned in confusion, before he nodded like he understood. He grabbed Dean's arm and they disappeared into thin air.

They reappeared in a park, not too far from the motel where they left Sam. Children were playing in the playground, completely unaware of the evil that existed around them and the people who fought to keep them safe.

The two sat down on a bench, which reminded Dean of something. There was this time when he and Castiel had been sitting on a bench just like this one. Castiel on one bench and Dean on another. There had been an actual distance between them, back when Cas still had some sense of personal space left.

Somewhere along the road, something changed and they had gotten so much closer. Eventually, Dean stopped being bothered by the lack of distance between them.
This reminded Dean of just how far they'd gotten and how much they'd been through together since then.

Dean glanced at Cas, his gaze stuck on his mouth for what felt like the millionth time, only this time, Dean didn't look away. He didn't come up with some excuse for being drawn to Cas' lips.

He locked his eyes with Cas', who observed him in silence and probably didn't have the slightest idea of his intentions. Slowly, after a slight hesitation, he finally leaned closer, until his nose almost touched the angel's. Cas didn't move and Dean went in for the kill, placing a kiss on the angel's lips. He couldn't believe this had taken him so long. If Cas had been a chick he would have had him already, multiplied times... but then he cared more for Cas than he ever did for any woman.

Dean didn't want to lose Castiel, and if it was something he was good at it was getting people he loved killed. All they had gone through, with Crowley and purgatory, it was all worth it now, just to have this moment. To hell with the dream, this was ten times better. The soft touch, the warmth of Castiel's breath on his face.

Then Dean pulled away, waiting for some sort of reaction. He'd noticed that Castiel had stiffened for a moment, but he didn't push Dean away, which was a good sign.

He hoped.

Dean wondered how high up defiling an angel of the lord was on the list of sins. Crowley would have to make a reservation for his deepest, inner circle of hell, because Dean was surely going there.
Again.

"Um," Castiel mumbled in response to Dean's advance.

For a moment he almost looked like that time Dean had told him he wouldn't die a virgin and dragged him along to hook up with a girl. It was a mixture of confusion and anxiety. Well, Dean wasn't surprised at the reaction. What he hadn't expected though, was the bright flush on Castiel's cheeks.

Dean didn't want to look away from him for one second, in fear he would be gone when he looked back, like he had so many times before. Or perhaps this was a dream too? Everything seemed too good to be true, which meant they probably were, but Cas didn't disappear on him. Not this time.

"Dean," Castiel said and looked down on his hands for a couple of seconds before continuing. "Thank you. That was…pleasant."

Dean was a little surprised by the angel's sudden straight-forwardness and let out a laugh, before settling for a grin.

"I agree. Wow, Cas you've really screwed me up...," Dean said and put an arm around Castiel's shoulder. "I can't believe I just did that…"
Castiel shifted his weight forward, but he didn't seem uncomfortable. Instead he looked at Dean with glinting eyes.

"We always had a more profound bound," Castiel said and they exchanged meaningful glances. They still had these moments, references only they would understand.

"Um…so what do we do now?" Castiel massaged his hands, still very nervous. He had no experience with these things. All the knowledge about these kinds of things he'd gotten from TV-shows and bad pornos. Not the most reliable source of information.

"You can start with shutting up, and relax, you're making me nervous," He teased before pulling Castiel into another kiss. This time it was gentle and loving, there was no hesitation. It was real.

They parted once more and this time a smile enhanced Castiel's features, and Dean knew the feeling was mutual. Dean grasped Castiel's hand and closed his eyes, and Castiel locked their fingers together, something Dean assumed he'd learned from some chick flick. Dean didn't mind though, it felt nice.

"You better not disappear on me now," Dean muttered.

"Never," Castiel promised.