Author's note: I'm reposting all my old stories here at FF.net. They can also be found at the Land of Denial, www.landofdenial.com. Lots of other authors are there too, check it out!

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or anything to do with her or her show. Spoilers: Set sometime in the summer after S4.



Destination Iowa

***

Buffy stood impatiently by the Summers mailbox. Beside her were two large stuffed-to-the-max, suitcases. She checked her watch for the fifth time in thirty seconds, and sighed as she saw the car come down Revello Drive and slide to a halt beside her. The driver jumped out, full of apology.

"Graham needed help..." Riley began.

"It doesn't matter," Buffy said dismissively, putting her suitcases in the car. Riley frowned.

"You're bringing an awful lot of stuff Buffy. There aren't many places in Drearyville for you to wear all those clothes," he told her. She merely glared.

Riley had roped her into a 'fun' week on the farm in Iowa. She'd tried to get Giles to make up a demon for her to slay so she didn't have to go, but Riley wasn't having any of it. Buffy was off to Iowa, even if the Hellmouth was due an opening in that same week.

They drove off to the airport, and soon enough (too soon, as far as Buffy was concerned) they were at the airport in Iowa. Buffy carried her suitcases with ease as they came through the gate. Riley searched the crowd anxiously, before waving his arms up and down like a buffoon.

"Nathan!" he shouted. Buffy edged away from him, not wanting to be seen with him.

"Riley, hey!" a somewhat more restrained voice called. She looked up to see a young man approaching.

He looked like Riley to an extent, but his hair was clean and neatly styled. He wore Ray-Ban sunglasses and his clothes were Calvin Klein. He winced as Riley grabbed him and slapped him on the back.

"Buffy! This is Nathan!" Riley shouted excitedly.

"You don't need to shout, she's standing right here," Nathan said. He then turned to Buffy and held his hand out in introduction.

"Hi, I'm Nathan, Riley's twin."

"Hi, I'm Buffy."

"Oh, we've heard all about you. When's the wedding?" Buffy's face fell. Nathan's eyes crinkled with his smile. "I'm joking."

"Oh, yeah," she laughed nervously before relaxing a little. Clearly Nathan had gotten the cool genes. He led them out of the terminal into the parking lot, where a beat up old truck was parked.

"Didn't you bring your car?" Riley asked Nathan, clearly disappointed.

"No. On account of it only having no carburettor at the moment." Nathan opened the door to the cab for Buffy before Riley even had the opportunity, then put her bags in the back.

"What kind of car do you have?" she asked by way of conversation.

"A 1959 Ford Thunderbird. Powder blue. But I drove it from New York to get home and the trip killed it." He started the engine, and soon they were on their way through the corn fields to the Finn house.

"You'll love our house, Buffy. It's a real farmhouse with a farm and cows and corn and..." Riley went on.

"Chill, man. Buffy's going to see it soon enough," Nathan cut in. "So, tell me about Sunnydale."

"Well, it's just a small town."

"Not as small as Drearyville ."

"Probably not. It's an OK place to live I guess."

"From what Riley tells me it's not exactly dull."

"No. Not dull. Definitely not dull," Buffy smiled wryly, wondering how much Riley had told his family about Sunnydale, and Buffy herself.

The truck finally pulled onto a driveway, and then they were outside the Finn farmhouse. It was a rambling place, but neatly kept. Nathan helped Buffy out of the cab but before they could get her bags, a grey-haired lady in an apron came running out.

"Riley!" She enveloped the boy in a smothering hug, which he fully reciprocated.

"Momma, this is Buffy," he said, presenting his girlfriend to Mrs. Finn, who then smothered Buffy in a hug.

"It's wonderful to meet Riley's young lady at last! I worry about him being so far away from home with the army, but he has you to look after him now!" Mrs. Finn said to Buffy who hid a grimace behind a yawn.

"We've got you a room all ready for you," Mrs. Finn chattered to Buffy, leaving Riley and Nathan to get her bags.

"She's nice, Riley."

"What do you mean by that?"

"She's nice. Nothing more."

"You like her!" Riley accused. "You were all over her in the truck!"

"Chill, Riley. I'm not going to steal your girlfriend, I'm your brother." Riley sighed in relief.

"But if she comes to me..." Nathan trailed off.

"Don't even think about it," Riley warned him, before stalking off into the house.

***

The next couple of days passed easily, with Riley trying to keep Buffy away from Nathan, and Nathan trying his hardest to snag the girl. She certainly liked the handsome young man, and began to increasingly compare Riley to Nathan.

Nathan was cool and sophisticated, and had studied at Columbia in New York City. Riley was, well, Riley. She didn't intend anything to happen. She was, after all, with Riley.

"Danita's coming home tomorrow. She's bringing a friend of hers. We'll have a full house again," Mrs. Finn told them over dinner.

"Danita?" Buffy asked.

"Our sister Danita. She's twenty one-" Nathan started.

"She lives in LA," Riley cut in, glaring at his brother.

As she wondered what this sister was like, Buffy looked at Riley, then Nathan. Then she hoped that Danita was more like Nathan than Riley.

***

Buffy was glad that Mrs. Finn had excluded her from helping with chores. She'd offered, but Mrs. Finn had told her that she was a guest. Guests don't work, she'd said.

Buffy was glad, as she was woken each morning at six by Riley clomping down the stairs to milk the cows. She noted that Nathan didn't seem to do much except try and fix his car.

If he did work, he kept quiet about it, and kept clean and tidy. Unlike Riley, who seemed to be more at home in mud-caked boots than his shiny army regulation boots. This morning, however, she was woken by Mrs. Finn.

"Morning, dear," she said cheerfully, coming in with a tray of breakfast. She had taken to calling Buffy 'dear'.

"Good morning," Buffy yawned tiredly. Mrs. Finn opened the curtains to let the sunlight in.

"Do you need any help this morning?" Buffy asked her, as she always asked out of politeness.

"Well..." Mrs. Finn paused, clearly uncomfortable about asking a guest to work. "I'm awfully busy today. Would you be a dear..."

"What would you like me to do?" Buffy asked with a bright smile. Truth be told, she was bored stiff.

"Well, I hate to ask, but it would be a huge help if you could make up the rooms for Danita and her friend."

"Of course I will!" Buffy said. "I'll just get dressed and then you can show me what I need to do." She smiled again.

The older woman looked relieved and went out. Buffy dressed and then made her way downstairs to where Mrs. Finn was cooking in the kitchen. At the sight of Buffy, she stopped and led the girl up to Danita's room. It was all pink and gingham.

"It would be great if you could make up the bed in here and next door."

"Would you like me to dust and vacuum too?" Buffy asked.

"That would be great! Aren't you a dear? Riley is so lucky to have a dear girl like you." Buffy blushed. Mrs Finn went back down to the kitchen and Buffy set about her task.

***

It was dark by the time Nathan returned with Danita and her guest in the truck. Buffy, Riley and Mrs. Finn were in the family room playing scrabble when they arrived.

"Momma!" a squeal tore through the house. Mrs. Finn jumped up, knocking over her scrabble pieces. Buffy knelt down to pick them up. As she reached for the pieces, she heard people come into the room.

"You!" She heard Riley say in a tight voice. Buffy wondered what he meant. She found the last piece and sat up again.

"Buffy," a deep, velvety voice said in surprise. She looked up, and her eyes widened.

Standing there wearing black, as usual, was her Angel. Well, not her Angel anymore, she realised as her gazed tore reluctantly away from the gorgeous vampire. Then, her gaze rested on the girl standing beside him. Jealousy surged through Buffy. The girl was auburn haired, taller than Buffy and absolutely stunning.

"Angel," Buffy squeaked out eventually.

"You know each other?" Mrs. Finn asked, looking from Angel to Buffy to Riley.

"Oh, they know each other," Riley said bitterly. Buffy turned to him.

"I used to live in Sunnydale," Angel said evenly. "Good to see you again Buffy. And Riley."

He even sounded like he meant it. Not that he did. In fact, right now, his heart was tearing apart. Again. Seeing beautiful Buffy again, with no warning was almost too much for him. And still with soldier boy Riley.

"Danita! How have you been?" Riley seemed to be recovered from the shock and jumped up to hug his sister.

"I'm fine Riley," she laughed as her brother swung her around (and away from Angel) in a bear hug. When he finally let go, she smoothed down her designer dress and introduced herself to Buffy.

"Hi, I'm Danita Finn. Riley's sister."

"It's great to meet you. Riley told me all about you," said Buffy, plastering a fake smile on her face.

She wondered if Angel could tell it was a fake. How was she meant to get through the rest of her 'vacation' with Angel and his new girlfriend hanging around?

***

Later that night, much later, they all went off to bed. Buffy was relieved to see Angel go into the room next to Danita's. Not just through jealousy, but through the fear that Angelus might once more emerge. She went into her own room and collapsed onto her bed. She had four more days to get through. How was she going to manage it?

***

The very next day, as soon as she awoke, Buffy dressed and went downstairs. She was surprised, more than surprised, to see Angel sitting in the sunlight. For a second she hoped against hope that Angel was human.

He smiled nervously at her, and held up his hand slightly. The gem of Amara was on his finger. She'd thought he'd destroyed it. Obviously not. Instead of stopping for breakfast, Buffy went straight out into the day.

***

She settled down beneath a huge tree in the meadow. She'd been there a few times since arriving, and found it to be a peaceful place to think. And boy, did she need space to think right now.

But that wasn't going to happen. She heard a twig snap behind her, and for a second hoped it was Angel. But she knew it wasn't. He'd sneak up without a sound.

"Hey Buff," said a voice behind her. She finally turned around. Nathan was standing there, a smile playing on his lips.

"Hi," she said a little glumly. He took it as an invitation to sit down.

"What's up Buff?"

"Nothing."

"Riley troubles?" he asked. She looked up at him.

"What?"

"You having trouble with Riley?" he asked.

"No."

"Oh. Damn."

"Why?"

"Because if you were, I was going to kiss you," he said. Her head snapped up and she looked at him.

"What?"

"I'm sorry Buffy. I really, really like you."

"I'm with Riley," she said firmly.

"OK. I won't say another word."

"Thanks. You're a great guy Nathan, but..."

"But you just want to be friends," Nathan nodded. "I understand." He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek softly, before walking away.

She smiled slightly, flattered that someone wanted her, even if Angel didn't anymore. She got up and ran away through the meadow. She didn't notice the two observers: Riley and Angel.

***

The two reactions couldn't have been more different. Both involved jealousy, but while Riley's anger boiled over and he ran after Nathan, Angel merely sighed and went back to his room to linger over it and again wonder if he should have left Sunnydale to begin with. Sure, Angel was wicked jealous, he always would be when Buffy was involved, but he tried valiantly to rise above it.

***

Buffy's head was spinning. Mostly because, when Nathan told her that he liked her, she wished it was Angel. When Nathan planted the platonic kiss on her cheek, she had wished it was Angel. Then again, when Riley kissed her, she wished it was Angel. It always came back to Angel.

She sat by the stream that ran through the meadow and didn't notice the tears begin to escape down her cheeks. It didn't matter where she went, she never got away from Angel. It didn't matter who she dated, she never stopped wishing it was Angel. The moment he walked away from her, after the Ascension played over and over in her mind.

Her head tried to tell her that he'd left for her own good, but her heart screamed back uncertainly. She wasn't sure if Angel loved her anymore. After all, he seemed to have got over her just fine with Danita. She had told the truth when she told Nathan she wasn't having trouble with Riley. She wasn't having anything with Riley. No heightened emotion, no butterflies when they kissed, nothing. Sighing, she wiped the tears away and walked back up to the house.

***

Angel and Danita weren't at dinner. Mrs. Finn told Buffy that they'd gone into town to catch a movie. Buffy remembered those times at the Sun Cinema with Angel, even the time they'd ended up going to a foreign film of dubious subject matter.

She was glad they weren't there, because it meant she didn't have to sit and eat, looking at the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world, knowing she couldn't have him. She tried to hold conversation, but Riley was unusually silent, and Nathan seemed loathe to talking for once.

***

Riley had been somewhat brutish with his brother. Nathan had tried to explain the innocent situation, that he truly liked Buffy, but she liked Riley. Riley refused to believe him, and would have resorted to violence had Danita not arrived at that moment. Now at dinner, Riley sat silent, glaring at Nathan. Nathan, for his part, didn't want to cause any more trouble and kept his distance from the blonde girl. So Buffy stopped trying and had to content herself with her thoughts. Which were all about Angel. As they always were.

***

Later that night, Buffy was still awake when Angel and Danita arrived back, giggling like teenagers. She was sitting at the open window of her room and watched the world by moonlight.

As she heard Angel and Danita come up the stairs, she began to feel more jealous than she ever had, as she heard Angel laugh. It was a beautiful sound, but it just served to show her that it wasn't for her anymore. Angel wasn't for her anymore. She threw on some clothes, and when she was certain everyone was in bed, she crept out, down the stairs and back out to 'her' tree.

She slumped down, wishing she was anywhere but where she was. She wished Angel had never left, that they were together right now in Sunnydale, slaying vampires, killing demons. What every couple does.

"Buffy," the voice sounded surprised. She didn't need to turn around to know it was Angel. Her heartbeat quickened.

"Angel. Have a nice time?" she said as she tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice without success.

"It was OK," he said. He hesitated, before adding "Can I sit with you?"

"Sure," she said half-heartedly.

"So...." She could tell he was trying to say something, but was unsure of her reaction.

"What do you want to ask, Angel?" she said, slightly snappier than she meant.

"I was... So, you and Nathan, huh?"

"Me and Nathan?" She was confused now.

"Well, I saw you, uh, earlier..."

"What? Nothing is going on with Nathan and me."

"I saw him kiss you!" Angel exclaimed, louder than he intended.

"When?"

"This morning. You were right here," he said. She then understood.

"That was nothing. God! How dare you spy on me!"

"I wasn't spying on you! I was just walking past, liking the not bursting into flames part of my day and I saw you kiss!" he said. Buffy giggled.

"You're jealous!" she accused him, trying not to laugh.

"I am not," he said.

"Yes you are! And you shouldn't be. It was a stupid little kiss on the cheek. It meant nothing and I didn't ask for it. He just did it."

"Why?"

"Well, first of all he told me that he really liked me but because I was with Riley he wasn't going to do anything about it. I told him I just wanted to be friends. He agreed and kissed me once, quickly on the cheek. And it's none of your damn business!"

"Of course it's my business…" he stopped suddenly.

"No it isn't. You're not my boyfriend anymore Angel. Your girlfriend is upstairs sleeping. Why don't you join her?" Buffy jumped up angrily, trying to stop the hot tears from flowing. Angel jumped up and stopped her.

"Girlfriend?" he asked quietly, confused.

"Danita Finn," she said. "Riley's sister."

Understanding filled Angel's eyes.

"Buffy, sit down," he said quietly, calmly.

"Why should...."

"Just sit down," Angel told her. They sat back down again. He looked her in the eye.

"Danita isn't my girlfriend. She never was."

"Then why...."

"Don't interrupt. She came to me in LA. She had a demon after her. But we couldn't kill it in Los Angeles. By coming out here, we were able to draw it into a place with fewer people and buildings."

"But you went to the movies..."

"Buffy, surely you know an alibi when you hear one," he chided gently.

"You just now went to kill it?"

"Yes. It wasn't too hard," he said dismissively. Buffy, how could I ever love anyone but you?"

"But...."

"Shh..." He put his finger up to her lips. "I couldn't ever love anyone but you, Buffy."

"Really?"

"Yes," He looked pained as he thought of Riley. "Riley wasn't too pleased to see me, huh?"

"He's still sore from your little fight," she joked. Angel cracked a little smile. Buffy paused for a moment.

"I don't love Riley, Angel," she said. Angel's eyes widened. "I couldn't love anyone but you."

"But...."

"Stop. Let Buffy talk," she said. "I don't care why you left, I just know that you left, and that in doing so you ripped out my heart and stomped on it fifty times, before shoving it back into place through my throat."

Angel raised his eyebrows at the imagery, but remained silent.

"I don't know why you left, but whatever reason you had, it wasn't good enough. All you need is love. John Lennon said that."

"He was a smart guy," said Angel.

"Yeah. So, tell me, when are you coming back to Sunnydale?"

"It's not that simple..."

"Make it that simple."

"But you should have a..."

"If you say 'normal life' I'm going to kill you right now. I don't want normal, I want Angel," she told him firmly, her eyes pleading with his. "Hell, you can even bring Cordelia and Wesley back with you." At this, Angel knew that there was no use arguing. And he didn't want to argue. He just wanted to be with Buffy.

"Well, my life is in LA. I fight demons there. Who'd do it if I didn't?"

"OK, so you can commute to Sunnydale on weekends," she conceded. "Angel. Please."

"What about Riley?"

"I don't want Riley. I want you. How many times must I say it?"

Angel paused, deep in thought. "Well, nobody ever did buy the mansion..."

"And you're only two hours from LA."

"And Sunnydale has definite advantages over Los Angeles."

"What?"

"Better parking," he joked.

"Did you just make a joke? Did it hurt? Do you want aspirin?" she asked. He laughed.

"You should laugh more often," Buffy told him.

"I know."

"And I bet we could find a way to remove the clause in your curse."

"You think?"

"Willow and Tara are both witches. I bet we'd find something," she said.

"OK. You won me over. I'm yours. I always was." He said softly. Finally, he leaned in and kissed her softly.

***

The next day was hard. She knew that once she broke up with Riley, she wouldn't really be welcome at the house, but she had no way of getting home either. She was holding off the inevitable while she thought about such things.

"Hey Buffy," Nathan came into her room.

"Hi Nathan. How are you?"

"Good." He closed the door. "So, you and Angel, huh?"

"How did...?"

"I heard you come back in last night. I kind of guessed something was up earlier too." He looked a little sad.

"I'm sorry Nathan. But it was always Angel."

"And Riley?"

"I.... I don't know how to tell him. And once I do, I don't know how I'm getting home, or anything," she said despondently.

"I have an idea," said Nathan.

***

The break-up scene was painful. Riley refused to believe her at first, then he got angry, shouting and threatening Angel. Then he shut himself in his room and refused to speak to her at all. Mrs. Finn was disappointed and asked Buffy and Angel to leave.

Which they did. In a powder blue 1959 Ford Thunderbird with a new carburettor.

THE END.