Morgan proudly demonstrates automatic dog drinker and feeder that are set near to a door leading to a back yard. The door itself has a dog door in it with a magnetic lock reacting to Clooney's collar. A fence around the yard finishes the picture. Very nicely put together to Reid's opinion. And a great way to not be worried about the dog while they are out of town.
"He walks himself, he feeds himself. As you can see he doesn't really need me aside from wanting a play pal", proudly declares Morgan.
"That's great", Reid is sincerely amazed by automatics, "and that means he really really loves you not because you feed him but because it's you. I mean he would have loved you for you anyway but now you know that for sure."
"Yeah, that crossed my mind once or twice."
It sounds cheerful but it is still kind of sad that Morgan doesn't even trust his neighbors to look after his dog, and that he seriously considered someone was loving him only for food.
"Great", Reid says again, "Can I hug you?"
He waits for Morgan to nod and then he hugs him. It feels strange and uncomfortable for a moment, but Morgan hugs him back, pulls him closer, and that is exactly as it should be. Reid doesn't want to confuse himself or Morgan though, so he quickly draws away.
"What was that for?", asks Morgan, clearly bewildered, which he has every right to be since Reid hardly ever initiates tactile contact first.
"That was an impulse. I'm trying to use your advice and be myself without thinking about rights and wrongs."
"I like it", readily says Morgan with a dreamy look, "I really like your impulses. Please do continue. I have a lot of good advice to share."
Reid chuckles and returns to the kitchen for a tea he left there earlier.

With a cup in his hand he slowly goes over the room studying furniture, books on the shelves, sport awards… an then he stops in front of few photos with friends, colleagues and family. Reid has never met most of these people but he guesses, who they are, he almost recognizes them from what he already knows of Derek's life. Their team is also here, pictures taken in different moments with different team members. He sees Ell, and gloomy for whatever reason Gideon, and happy Hotch - that's the first year after Jack was born. There is also a picture with Garcia with her forever crazy hairstyle smiling next to Derek. There are pictures of JJ, Emily and Reid, and all of them are more then three years old - Spencer can determine it by details. The last one has smiling Rossi and tired Hotch who looks over his shoulder to whoever is taking the picture. None of the photos capture Morgan as a child. Reid tries not to think about the reasons of that, because he already knows the answer, and because that answer is painful. The living room as a whole is as neat and clean as he expected Morgan's home to be, considering Clooney's involvement - a controlled environment, laconic and closed, with almost zero chaos element. A place where it's easy for Morgan to feel in control of his life. It should be strange that nothing surprises Reid, that he learns nothing new about his friend with all this new information about where he lives. Even the lack of coffee he understands right away. The truth is they've known each other for so long, he is an expert in Derek Morgan, and while the more details the better, grand picture is not likely to change.
"It's been seven years", he says absent-mindedly and almost misses Morgan's quiet "Yes".
"I wonder what would it be like in another seven years". Would they still be together as a team? Who would they lose? Who would they meet? Would he still miss Gideon? Would Morgan still love him? Would he be crazy by the time? He hopes he wouldn't, but it would be good to know in advance even if the answer is "Yes". Morgan doesn't say anything. Reid goes home and returns later to get another good sleep on Morgan's couch. They watch movies, joke around and play with Clooney, and give themselves and each other time to adjust. Reid is so happy to have Morgan back and much more of him than ever before, that he gives up analysis and just enjoys every minute of it.

It's not like everything changes instantly after that weekend. Changes are slow and delicate. Reid is having less migraines - partly because he gets to sleep normally more often, than not, and partly because he is not nearly as stressed as before. They still have hard cases, and his mother is still getting worse, and schizophrenia is still a very real threat, and there are still days when he has to fight a wish to take dilaudid again… but Reid isn't there alone anymore. He has a haven now, and it's not only Morgan's house (where he spends more and more time), it's Morgan in general: his love, and fondness, and understanding. They don't talk about love though, Morgan isn't pushing it, which Reid is really grateful for. They are being friendly and that's it, though Reid thinks that somehow Rossi already knows more than he should, which is more than Reid knows himself. Also Hotch looks relieved when he catches them joking near coffee machine as in good old days, and Emily says him privately one day, that she is happy they finally made out, which is completely untrue, and Reid says as much, but Emily just smiles and walks away. Well, even if they were to make out, that would be fine, because he and Morgan are not in one line of command so while it's not encouraged, it is also not strictly forbidden for them to have a romance. Which they don't have anyway, because Reid still cannot figure out if this is what he wants them to have, and he doesn't want to rush into anything this serious.

"Does it make me an awful person that I was mad at JJ despite I knew it wasn't really her choice to lie to me about Emily?" - asks Reid one evening, when they watch "Dark knight" that both of them have already seen which makes it a perfect choice for a lazy evening at home.
Morgan actually thinks about it for a minute and then asks in return: "Does it make me an awful person that I was mad at her despite I knew for certain it wasn't neither her choice nor her fault that you were kidnapped?"
"These are not to be compared", argues Reid, "I was mad because I got hurt myself, and you were mad because someone else got hurt".
"Was I?"
Morgan looks completely serious which startles Reid for a second, but doesn't change his answer.
"Yes. You were worried about me and angry at the situation as a whole, and JJ was involved so it was natural to snap on her. Though you shouldn't have done it, but that doesn't make you a bad person".
"You forget something, kid. I was snappy not because I was just worried for you as everyone else was, but because I felt hurt. You were being taken away from me, and I couldn't do a thing, and that hurt like hell. You are right, I shouldn't have blamed JJ, but I still did it. That doesn't make me a bad person, it just makes me human. And not a very good professional also, but hey… we cannot be perfect. Not even you. You were hurt, you were emotional, you got mad… it doesn't make you an awful anyone, Reid. You cannot deny yourself the right to feel hurt or betrayed even if it is unreasonable. That's ok, we all do it."
Reid looks at his socks and thinks of that for a minute. He can see it now: the similarities in his behavior and Morgan's, and also how that is a textbook reaction to stress, a natural regulator one's mind uses to let some of the pressure out to start healing or at least coping. Maybe he just considers himself too good, too different from ordinary people and thus expects what he would never expect from others. The thing is, he isn't that much different when it comes to emotions.
"That makes sense", he says finally, rising his glance to Morgan, "though I still feel bad about it, and I wish that has never happened".
"Are you still mad at her?"
"No… but it isn't the same as before. Don't think I would be crying at her place again any time, ever".
"I know, kid… I know", Morgan puts a hand on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze, "hope you won't have a reason to test it".
The hand is gone, and they return their attention to the movie, but few minutes later Morgan asks suddenly, as if conversation never stopped: "Were you mad at me?"
Reid turns his head to look at him. Morgan stares at TV-screen, tense and quiet. He most probably knows the answer. Spencer could pretend he didn't hear it or didn't understand the question… he returns his gaze to the screen and answers.
"Yeah… but I'm not anymore".
"I'm so sorry, Reid".
"Yeah, I know". He doesn't want to hear that bitterness and guilt in Morgan's voice, but can't help it. What he can help is the guilt itself. "I never stopped trusting you, Derek. Even when I was angry at you. I didn't want to burden you any more than I already did, and I thought you'll never let me close anyway, but I trusted you. Couldn't help it. And annoyingly enough I was never able to be really mad at you. So it's not that bad. You don't have to be so sad about it now".
Movie freezes making Reid to stare at Morgan, who set it on pause and now stares back with a mild and somewhat desperate expression. "I'm still sorry", he says, "and you are too good to be true".
"I am pretty sure I'm a real boy", says Reid, a little awkward and shy because of the compliment, but feeling his lips curve a smile at the same time.
"Yeah", says Morgan, "you sure are" - and smiles back, bitterness gone and fondness taking its place.
Rest of the movie goes without interruptions.

There are photos, a lot of them, in Morgan's living room. Reid often stands there and looks at them. Gideon had a lot of photos in his office too. Different kind of photos, but association still works - Reid doesn't need a lot to be reminded of his lost mentor, who is there on the photos too, still smiling, still unbroken. Reid takes a photo and looks at it, recalling the exact moment it was taken. He doesn't hear Morgan coming close until the man puts a hand over his shoulders half hugging him in a friendly way.
"I still miss him", says Reid, "do you?"
Morgan pulls him closer for a moment, showing he's here if Reid needs him. "Yes", he simply says.
"I wonder how's he doing", says Reid, "if he was able to find peace. I hope he was."
"I hope too… but I doubt it", answers Morgan bitterly, "sorry, kid. But he didn't just get away from the job, he also got away from his family and his friends. With what he remembers it's hard enough to remain sane when you have someone. I don't know how can anyone do it alone".
Reid has already thought about it so many times the answer bursts out of him without hesitation, sharp and cold, almost clinical.
"Maybe he isn't our Gideon anymore. Maybe he created some new person… someone who never worked in BAU, who never saw all those terrible things, who never had to watch his loved ones dying in front of him. If he succeeded in doing that, he could have a new life. This is hard, but this is also Gideon. And I cannot think of anything else".
"Reid…"
Reid looks at the photo and doesn't answer. Anything else he can say right now would be pathetic and sad, and he doesn't want to go there.
Morgan shifts himself to stand before Reid and gently removes the photo from him, taking his hands in his own.
"Why would he want to do it? Gideon may be broken and hurt, but he is still smart, and he has always been loyal. He may have left us to cheat his own mind, but he wouldn't just throw us away as something irrelevant. He wouldn't throw you away, if that's what you're implying."
"But…", starts Reid.
"No", Morgan interrupts him fiercely and then continues more gently: "there is no 'but', kid. I don't know what is Gideon doing and what was his big plan if he ever had one, but I know he loved you. Most probably still does. And that's not only true for you. Don't forget he was also a mentor for Hotch and for me. And he taught us well, he had faith in us when he left, so we can at least try to have faith in him".
Reid silently stares at Morgan for a good minute after this, and when it starts to get uncomfortable enough for Morgan to try to pull away, he hugs him and stays like that after Morgan hugs him back. "Do you think we'll ever see him again?", he asks quietly.
"I don't know. But even if we won't, he is still our Gideon, and we can still hope he somehow managed to get better."
Reid doesn't answer. He tries to hope, and then he thinks: "our Gideon… not mine, ours" - and it feels better than he thought it would. And he smiles, and draws away still smiling, and he is delighted to see Morgan getting it and smiling back at him after a moment. They are in this together. Even if it's not easy and will never get easier, they are in this together.

Few months later he discovers that while they are certainly not dating, he spends more time at Morgan's than he does in his own apartment. He loves Clooney, and Clooney seems to love him back, and he has his things there, and his favorite pillow, and he even has his own key (though he never uses it because it seems too much). It helps with nightmares too. When he screams at night, Morgan wakes him up and caresses him until he calms down. And Reid does the same for him, and he is glad that it works and that Morgan lets him. Each day Morgan lets him come closer and closer, and this is so much more than Reid ever dreamed of, but somehow he wants more. And he gets more though the circumstances almost make him wish he wouldn't.

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it's their mistake that gets people killed.
They work on a case in Burley, small town in Idaho where young women started to vanish out in a bright day to be found at dump sights near the road later. They rule out one of suspects early in the investigation and when they finally understand what was wrong in a profile, unsub has already taken another victim. They find his location fast, but not fast enough. Morgan gets there first, and then unsub cuts girl's throat right in front of him, drops the knife and smiles in his face while uniforms cuff him. A girl is twenty three, and she is dead before anyone has a chance to do something. Morgan is mostly silent and very much reserved while they finalize the case, say goodbye to local police officers and fly home. He jokes with Garcia over phone, but it sounds forced, so she chuffs him gently and gives him his space. He avoids Reid by using his headphones as a shield, and with Hotch's silent permission he slips away as soon as their plane lands.
Reid has been there himself, maybe not at the exact situation, but it was similar enough. He knows he won't be welcomed, but after the day is finished he drives to Morgan's place and for the first time uses his own key to open the door.

He finds Morgan at the back yard, sitting on a porch and throwing ball with Clooney. He cannot identify the look on his face though: it's like pain, and anger, and relieve, and surprise all at the same time. Reid silently takes a sit beside him.
"You better leave, Reid", says Morgan emotionless and turns away from him.
"Sorry", answers Reid, "but no".
"If you don't leave, I can end up yelling at you", warns Morgan in the same flat distant voice.
"Okay. Maybe you should".
"What?" - Morgan stares at him in confusion which is good, because that's better than nothing, right?
"Well, if you yell at me, that would be you expressing your anger and frustration over what happened today, and channelling your anger is a good thing. It helps with healing and with leaving at least some part of those bad feelings in the past. So you should do it if you feel like it."
"Is this some experiment for you, genius?", asks Morgan, and yes, he definitely goes toward 'angry' now, full speed and everything. "Do you really think I can just shout for a bit and then forget that I screwed up and got that girl killed? Is this who you think I am? Well, you are wrong! And I don't want to snap on you, but hell, Reid... just leave!"
Reid looks right at him and shakes his head.
"Dammit, Reid!", yells Morgan exactly as he promised and slams his fist into the porch between them, "always think you know better! Well, you don't! You cannot fix it, and she isn't the first, and won't be the last, and I just wanna go back in time and shoot that bastard before he had a chance to touch anyone, but I can't! I can't. And don't say it's not my fault, don't even try it! How's that for healing expression of emotions?!"
Reid takes his bruised hand in his own and says: "Come here", and then he stands up and pulls Morgan with him. Older agent goes along, like he spent all his energy in the outburst. He allows Reid to take him to the couch and to make him lay on it with his head on the pillow which is in its turn on Reid's lap. He lays there and slowly relaxes while Reid's fingers massage his scalp with soft roundish movements. Reid tries to think of something that will actually make Morgan feel better, but he fails. He knows Morgan knows all the right words, and he also knows words are useless. So he just keeps being there and comforting his friend with touches until Morgan falls asleep. He uses that time to cook a light dinner, and then he wakes Morgan up and forces him to eat. They don't talk much that evening, but when Morgan falls asleep again, in his own bedroom this time, Reid stays and waits. He is there when nightmares come, waking Morgan up and calming him down.
He is also there in the morning, when Morgan says "Sorry for yesterday. And thank you".
"It's okay", says Reid, "you can count on me", and then he blushes, because it sounds as such a cliche, though it is truth. Morgan actually smiles at his sudden shyness and pets his hair.
"Looks like I can, pretty boy. Didn't know you can be mother hen".
"I didn't feel like a mother", starts Reid seriously considering it for a moment, "don't think that would be a correct term to use".
"Oh", says Morgan and his smile is now fond mixed with smug. Reid tries to understand why that could be, and when he gets it, he blushes further and retreats to the kitchen.

First time Reid kisses Morgan is unexpected even for Reid himself. It's a deep night, and he just had that nightmare with losing his memory again, which was absolutely terrifying, and Morgan is there, like he's been there for him for the last few months. Reid doesn't even think about kissing him, he just feels it is a right thing to do - the right thing to do - so he goes for it. Morgan is numb for few seconds, but Reid isn't scared, he knows that's not a rejection, and second later Morgan proves him right, squeezing him and kissing him back almost desperately. And this is a start of a new road they take together. Slowly, day by day and night by night they keep moving towards each other. Sex can be a tool for domination, it can be a way to channel anger or lust, or both… for them it's nothing like this. As far as Reid is concerned this is just another way to communicate, and the message stays the same. It doesn't change drastically what they already have, it just makes it more complete.

A week later after their first kiss Reid is lying in Morgan's bed. He feels tired, and hot, and pressed to Morgan's chest so close he doesn't know where exactly is the boundary between their bodies. He also feels most happy, and safe, and in place, than he has ever felt before. Which may be the reason he finally realizes what is his answer. It doesn't come as a shock, it feels like he knew it for a long time, and now he is just aware that he knows it.
"I think I love you", says Reid and waits for any sign confirming Morgan isn't already sleeping. He doesn't want for his speech to go to waste. He hears a hum and continues.
"I definitely love you. My emotional state has been stabilized for a long time now, and I also analyzed everything few times to be sure. That's not a simple need of being close to anyone, that's not a fan-like love for an idol and as we both know that's not a purely friendly feeling. So…"
And this is when Derek turns him on his back and kisses him so sweet and tender Spencer think he's gonna melt away. He still wants to hear it said out loud so he doesn't let Morgan to withdraw afterwards and says again, making a point for both of them. Making it more real.
"I love you, Derek".
"And I love you", answers his friend - no, lover! - seriously for the first time since that evening, when Reid fell asleep in the office, and Morgan forgot his keys. Reid smiles and waits for Morgan to lay down again, and they go to sleep together, keeping each other from nightmares, from loneliness and from the great void that broke and swallowed their mentor and friend one day years ago. Not gonna happen.