Chapter 1

#Severus#

I locked myself in the cubical and knelt over the round basin, retching whatever I had eaten that morning. I coughed before being attacked by another bout of bile.

The smell raped my nostrils.

I flushed what was once toast and pumpkin juice and wiped my mouth, spitting what remained out.

Leaving the stall and leaning against the sink, I rinsed out my mouth, trying to clean it. I look in the mirror.

My vision is blurry and I'm paler than usual. Almost bluish. My arms and legs can barely hold me up. And I'm burning up.

With shaking fingers, I reach into my bag and pull out a small kit and bottle. I look around, making sure I'm really the only one in the toilet. I sit on the floor and take out what I need.

I light the candle and set up what else I need: the needle, the drugs safely kept in a little plastic bag. With shaking hands, I prepare the drug before filling the needle with it. There's one last thing I have to do—tying the tourniquet.

I raise my sleeve high up onto my arm and tie the rubber band around my arm before lifting the needle and breaking my skin.

I remove the needle and let it roll on the floor. I close my eyes, finally relaxed.

#Remus#

The bathroom door is locked, so I wave my wand and it swings open. I enter and stop, seeing a bag of white powder, a used needle lying on the floor, a metal spoon, and a candle with black smoke rising from it.

Severus Snape is slumped against the wall. A band tied around his arm. My bag drops to the ground and I run to his side, feeling for a pulse. Finding one, I remove the tourniquet.

"Snape? Snape!" I tried slapping him. I tried waking him with water. "Snape! C'mon, wake up!" I looked at the things on the floor. They had to be why he was comatose. I blow out the candle and toss everything in the garbage, hating them.

I take our bags, slinging them over my shoulders before lifting Snape off the floor. He's heavier than I thought he was, but I can manage. I feel somewhat ridiculous, but I can worry about that later.

"Someone! Help! Get the nurse!" I shout.

"Remus?"

"Is that—"

"Don't talk! Don't argue!" I shout at James and Sirius. They don't move. Useless idiots! I stride past them. Professor McGonagall turns the corner.

"Lupin, what—"

"I found him in the bathroom, just lying on the ground."

She takes her wand and waves it. Severus is lifted onto a stretcher and I follow them to the hospital wing.

"Stay here, Lupin," she ordered.

I wanted to protest. I wanted to go inside too. But I obey. Leaning against the wall. The door opens and McGonagall exits with the nurse.

"Lupin," McGonagall addressed. "Do you know how Snape could have passed out?"

"I think so," I say, "When I got there, there were these things on the floor. A small bag full of white powder, a candle and spoon, and a needle. He had a band around his arm. I threw them out. Should I not have?"

"Go get them."

I run back to the bathroom and grab the bag and the needle and the spoon, but I can't get to the candle or the band. I return to the hospital wing and show them to the teachers.

The nurse pales.

"What is this stuff?"

"Madam?" Professor McGonagall added.

"Can Professor Slughorn make a detox potion with this?"

"You think he poisoned himself."

The nurse took the things from me, mindful of the powder and pulled me into the wing.

"Mr. Lupin, go take a shower and change into a gown." She handed me a gown.

"What is that stuff?"

"Muggle drugs," was all she said as though addressing McGonagall and not me. "How they got past security is beyond me." I head to the shower in the hospital wing obediently.

Why was Snape taking drugs?

#

I'm led to a bed and told to stay in there. I don't know why, but the nurse looked so severe I dared not ask her any more questions about the drug that Snape was taking, though my curiosity gnawed at me.

The door opened and I saw Professor Slughorn enter. "Ariel," he said, "How is he?"

"As well as can be expected," she said. "He hasn't woken up yet."

"Couldn't you wake him with a spell—"

"I don't know what could happen if I do. It could wake him, but it might send him into a deeper sleep. Thank you, Horace."

"Of course, Madam." He left. The nurse approached me.

"Do I have to?"'

"Yes, Lupin, you have to. You were exposed. If it didn't get into your system, nothing will happen, but if it did, you'll need to get it out and it will be painful. Though not so painful for you as it will be for Snape."

She thrust the goblet in my face and I took it, drinking it as quickly as I could. I gave it back to her, coughing. "How will I know it worked?"

"You'll know only if you were exposed. I want you to stay overnight."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She approached Snape and blocked his view, but she took the other goblet in her hand. I suppose she was force feeding it to him.

When she moves away, Snape had begun to twitch and move, whimpering.

On the one hand, I was relieved that the potion was working. On the other, my chest ached for him. Somehow, I just knew that whatever it was Snape was taking, my friends and I were part of what drove him to it.

I tried to block out his cries and the image of him trying to get comfortable again, so I closed my eyes and covered my ears. But the image of him in pain was burned in my retinas and my hands weren't much protection.

The nurse left to join what I guess was a teachers' conference. Of course they'd have one now that they know drugs are getting into the school.

I threw the covers off me and approached Snape. I didn't know what to do, but I knew something had to be done.

With the covers keeping us apart, I lied next to him and embraced him, pressing my forehead to his back. My arms kept his hands pressed chest. His whimpering and thrashing somewhat lessened, but not his crying. His chest heaved and I could hear his breath moving in and out of his mouth.

I don't know how long I stayed next to him. I fell asleep eventually, I know that. And sometime during that time, the detox potion finished its work.

Snape is calm, sleeping peacefully when I wake.

"Lupin? Lupin!"

I jump off the bed and leave the curtains.

"I'm right here," I inform the nurse.

"What were you doing?"

"Er…" how do I explain it? I don't know how to even form it into words. Let alone actually know what I did.

"Well, you can go to breakfast," she said, "as soon as you dress."

"What about Snape?"

"He may be released later today."

I go to dress, but I don't feel right leaving him here. I dress slowly, debating whether I should do as I'm told or stay. The obedient student in me says go, but the wolf demanded I stay and keep an eye on him.

So it all depends on who's stronger—Remus Lupin or Moony.

I leave the hospital wing, but my gut told me it was the wrong thing to do. I sat through breakfast, barely eating anything. My friends tried to ask me what was going on, but I didn't hear them.

I barely heard the lectures that morning.

Lunch came around and I just couldn't take it anymore. I rush to the hospital wing, telling my friends I'd meet them later.

I open the door and almost run into Snape. He glared at me and walked past me.

I closed the door and ran after him.

"Snape! Snape, wait!" I grab his arm, stopping him. "You're okay now, right?"

"Okay?" he spat. "Okay! How can I be okay?"

"I know about the drugs."

"So I figured," he ripped his arm out of my grasp. "I didn't ask you to do anything. I didn't need your help."

"You were comatose on the floor! What was I supposed to do?"

"Leave me alone."

"I thought you were dying! And it's a good thing I found you. You could have died."

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME!" He shouted.

"No, I shouldn't have," I shot back. "We—my friends and I—we were always just messing around. We were unconscionable about what we did and how it may have affected you. I didn't think you'd actually turn to drugs, Severus. I'm sorry. I'm really, truly sorry."

"Really? An apology? Way too little, too late."

I nod my head. "It is too little. I know that. I want to make it up to you, Severus."

"Just leave me alone."

He walked away. I let him. I didn't know what else to do. But I didn't want to. I kept thinking how much pain he went through last night while the potion tried to get the drugs out of his system. It's not good for him to be left alone.

What if he tried to kill himself again?

But he wants to be left alone. Okay. Then I'll make sure he's left alone.

This story is rated M for later chapters-just to be safe. I'd appreciate feedback if any is available since this is my first M rated story (I'm pretty sure it is, but I'll let the readers decide that when the story comes to a close). But reviewing (and flaming) is optional.