Summer 2005 (post 5.13)

Justin was gone. His presence or lack thereof, was evident all over the loft. Brian wondered if he'd be able to continue living there when everywhere he looked he saw Justin naked, Justin laughing, Justin rocking beneath Brian as they fucked…

When he'd declared his love, out loud and finally, fully, allowed himself to feel the weight of it, it had been the most wonderful feeling; the most natural high; the most addicting drug he'd had. Immediately he had craved more of it and now that Justin was gone, off to pursue his dream in New York City, the withdrawals were painful and cruel.

The irony of this wasn't lost on Brian.

The first night Justin was gone, Brian stayed in the loft, staring at the two rings he'd purchased for their wedding. The two rings that he couldn't, or wouldn't, return.

The second night Justin was gone, Michael showed up and dragged Brian to the bombed out shell of Babylon. It hadn't taken too much prodding from Michael for Brian to decide to take the building off the market and rebuild…again.

The renovations of the club only took two months. This time Brian knew he wouldn't need to create false buzz about the club. He heard people talking about it everywhere he went; in the street, and in the Liberty Diner, and in Woody's. The entire gay community was dying to get back inside Babylon. It was infamous. The cynic in Brian found it disgusting, how people wanted to flock back to the site of death and destruction, but another part of him saw the revival of the club as a giant "fuck you" to those responsible for the bombing.

All the work Brian was doing allowed him to avoid missing the one person he wished was there to share in the journey. Well…mostly avoid missing him.

It was five weeks after Justin left before they talked to each other again. Justin had called a few times but Brian couldn't bring himself to answer the phone, or call him back. He listened to the messages though; over and over. Particularly the parts where Justin said the three words that used to make Brian's skin crawl but that now fueled his addiction, making his entire body warm and his cock rock-hard.

I love you.

Brian thanked whatever cosmic energy had created Justin. And he thanked that same cosmic energy that the tenacious 17-year he'd randomly met one night all those years ago, had stuck around through all his shit, long enough for Brian to realize that he did want all the same things he used to judge his friends for wanting for themselves; that he wanted those things with Justin.

When Brian was so overwhelmed by his emotions and so desperate for the sound of Justin's voice in his ear, he finally called him. When the pain from the withdrawals were too much to ignore he picked up his phone. He was slowly realizing that he couldn't ignore love, especially once declared, as easily now as he'd had in the past.

Waiting for him to answer was the worst part and when he finally heard Justin's beautiful voice Brian started talking. He hadn't thought there'd be anything to talk about, but he was wrong. He told him he loved him, and he missed him, and that he was reopening Babylon, and then again that he loved him, and that he missed him, and that he wanted to be inside him so badly.

Justin acted as if it was all new news for him, and Brian loved him even more for that. Of course Justin probably already knew all about Babylon. If Michael hadn't told him during one of their Rage-development sessions, Linds would have told him. In any case, the fact that Justin acted as if the news was fresh from Brian made his heart swell. Finally, Brian asked the question that would either make or break the next month of his life; would Justin come back for Babylon's grand reopening?

The sweet sounds of his laughter were all the answer Brian needed to hear, and for the next hour Brian enjoyed the most intense phone sex he had ever imagined possible.

The night before the opening; the night before Justin was to fly in from New York, Brian dug out their unused wedding rings. He hadn't looked at them since the night Justin left. Stroking the smooth, cool platinum he couldn't help but grin. He knew now, now that he was feeling the anticipation of seeing Justin again; of touching him again; of running his fingers through his thick, blond locks; of fucking him hard, and gentle, and over and over again; Brian knew that he would marry Justin someday. He had no doubt about it.

Hell, he had the rings to prove it.