.

you're twelve and a pawn

you don't know your place in the world

you get told what to do

and you do it

(because really, what use are you otherwise?)

expendable

replaceable

you're superfluous

(and you don't really care, because what else can you do but obey?)

.

you're thirteen and a castle

protecting your home

saving your friends

(you've moved from rules to responsibilities, and it's not all that bad)

the only way you can go is up

straight up like an arrow fired into the sun

(you never were an archer, were you?)

and so when you swerve

when you waver

everything comes crashing down

(you were never very good at this)

.

you're fourteen and you've changed to a knight

hopscotching around

trying not to lose your head

(because you don't really know what you're doing)

you're guessing

pretending to be a leader when you clearly aren't

(but sometimes make-believe is better than reality)

and now you're brave, braver than before, anyway

and you hold up that damn sky

and you feel ready to b-r-e-a-k

(but you're a knight and you can't because it's your duty)

((no longer a pawn, but a slave nonetheless))

.

and now you're fifteen and a bishop

winding your way to your goal

slowly but surely

you're winning

(until you're not, you're trapped in the labyrinth and there's no escape)

but you're a bloody bishop and you know what to do

(don't you?)

blow up a volcano - it is rather obvious

so you do

and it feels like you're being ripped in half from the inside out

but you're alive

you're safe

(but you choose to leave again, to face danger and death and a world of hopeless maybes)

((because you're a bishop and you will fight until your final breath))

and you do fight

you fight hard and you survive

but others

others

aren't so lucky

.

now you're sixteen and a mighty queen

(because let's face it, you feel like crying when you read the prophecy and that's just so damn girly)

and nothing can stand in your way

except

maybe

annabeth

(but that's beside the point)

so you become invulnerable

(because you can't be a queen and not take risks)

and it turns out you're not the hero

you're just the sword

the knife that does the final deed

(it was never about you - you're not king yet)

but who says queens can't have fun?

because you get back to camp

and you kiss her underwater

(and her lips taste of chocolate cake and blue icing)

((but you know it's not over

not yet))

.

you're still sixteen but now you're king

and you don't even know it

maybe you remember

maybe you fool yourself into pretending

but the truth is you're starting from the beginning all over again

you're a pawn as your fate is decided by a soft toy serial killer

you're a castle as you help your friends to victory on the battlefield

you're a bishop as you see the roman navy and decide that things could be worse

and you're a queen as you drink that poison

(that rips you to shreds, and you think is this really the end?)

so you remember

you remember you're a king

and suddenly nothing can stop you

(as king, you're supposed to stay sheltered, safe)

((but you never played by the rules))

.

and then annabeth is here again

and everything is so goddamn perfect

until she's on a quest and you can't save her

(until you can)

and so you're falling

falling

f

a

l

l

i

n

g

so you take her hand - squeeze it tight -

and then you realise

checkmate

.