Disclaimer: In view of the utter ridiculousness of this story, I must strongly state that I do not own Naruto or Fairy Tail or How I Met Your Mother- each are the copyright of their respective owners: Masashi Kishimoto, Hiro Mashima, Craig Thomas and Carter Bays. All characters, descriptions, names, places and references are the copyright of the owners, and everything else is simply a figment and work of my imagination.

Summary:Shoujo rom-coms and Natsu Dragneel don't get along well. Throw in some random Naruto characters, a kilogram of takoyaki, a bunch of obsessed fan girls and voila, we have a recipe for absolute chaos! Natsu/Sakura crack fic with some GraLu. Also includes bits of humorous Juvia and Fairy Tail fangirl bashing, and some reality TV trolling.

Category: Fairy Tail/Naruto Crossover

Genre: Humour/Parody/slight Romance

Rating: T for minor minor swearing and innuendo

WARNING:Let me repeat once again that this is a CRACK fic and is strictly not to be considered in relation to any canon material – this story is merely a result of twisted plot bunnies hopping around in my imagination and my desire to write a Natsu/Sakura fic centred around their hair colour (Pinkshipping has a certain ring to it yes?). I'm not making any predictions on how the manga will end, its just crack after all.

The Very Pink of Perfection

"The very pink of perfection."-Oliver Goldsmith, 1730-1774

Fairy Tail- a guild where the brave of heart and the fleet of foot reside; a place where the wondrous and the fantastic never cease to exist.

A guild where countless legends were created, and continue to be.

A guild where dreams continue to be painted on the canvas of the future, shimmering with the colours of pride and justice.

Where golden bonds that will never be broken by the axe of time are forged from the iron of adversity on the anvil of hope.

It is a place where you can continue reaching for the stars hand-in-hand, because the sky is no longer the limit.

This is the guild called Fairy Tail- and this is the story of their life….

After the manga/anime has ended.

"Bob, the Master

Can he fix it?

Bob, the Master

YES HE CAN!"

"AHHH! Shut it off!" Lucy Heartfilia couldn't help scowling at the sight of the pink-spaghetti top wearing, wing-bearing Blue Pegasus Guild Master twirling on the guild's TV screen while a crowd of Blue Pegasus mages belted out the words to the annoying theme song of 'The Fairy Tail Spin-Off: My Little Blue Pegasus!' "Mira-san, surely there's something better that we can watch," she pleaded, making her best puppy-dog eyes at the guild's barmaid. "I don't think my eyes can take any more of this horror!" Luckily, she turned her eyes away just in time to avoid seeing Master Bob blowing flirtatious kisses to an imaginary audience while his chorus of Mages swooned and sighed, finishing by planting a big, red kiss on the camera.

Mirajane chuckled as she continued wiping glasses, her deep-blue eyes dancing with amusement at the Celestial Spirit Mage's pitiful expression. The hem of her long, flowing maroon dress made a faint swishing sound as she bustled behind the counter, her right hand collecting the stack of half-empty beer tankards Cana had left over from breakfast while her left continued wiping dry the Guild's prized drink ware. "Don't you think it's funny, Lucy-chan?" she giggled. "After all, the TV Tokyo producers did want to try something with more humour in it!"

"Our show had plenty of humour in it!" Lucy sulked. "We didn't need cross-dressing to make things funny."

A low chuckle sounded to her side, as Lucy suddenly registered that Gray Fullbuster had plopped himself on the stool next to her, lightly brushing his arm against her bare one as he reached for a drink. She shivered involuntarily. "Mira-san, a glass of ice water please!" he called cheerfully. Still chuckling, he turned to the Celestial Spirit Mage, a glimmer of amusement in his dark eyes. "I'm not too sure about how this spin-off will turn out, but the producers were adamant that Master Bob would be a hit with the alternative crowd," he snickered.

"Gray, your clothes!" Mirajane smiled, shaking her head slightly as she handed him his drink. With summer rapidly approaching, she suspected his stripping habit might stretch from being a daily routine to an hourly occurrence, although there certainly wouldn't be many complaints from the girls in the guild!

"Ack!" And as always, the Ice Mage jumped off his bar stool in shock, looking frantically around for his favourite white trench coat. "Lucy, did you take them?"

Heaving what seemed like her thousandth sigh of the day, Lucy passed her dark-haired teammate the set of spare clothes Mirajane kept for him under the bar. As much as she secretly enjoyed the sight of a shirtless (and very buff) Gray, she couldn't help wondering why he bothered turning up in any clothes at all when he lost them almost as soon as he put them on. He probably spends double the amount that any of his girlfriends do on clothing she mused, before blushing again at the thought of 'Gray' and 'girlfriends' in one sentence.

"Besides Lucy, I thought you wanted to watch the show since you were so bored," the white-haired mage grinned, flicking the volume a little higher and trying not to dissolve into giggles again as the screen panned to a shot of the Blue Pegasus mages breaking into another song and dance number with Master Bob shuffling to the tune of "I'm Sexy and I Know It".

Lucy covered her ears but to no avail, as the annoyingly chirpy tune pervaded every corner of the Guild building- not surprising as Mirajane had turned the volume to maximum. "Natsu was the one that was bored, not me!" she wailed, briefly wondering if she should summon and hide inside Horologium until the hour was over and the show had ended, and Mirajane had had enough fun teasing her.

Taking pity on Lucy, Gray stood up and switched the TV off. The sudden silence that followed was ironically, the most beautiful thing Lucy had ever heard. She smiled gratefully at him, to which he responded with a cheeky wink and smile that had her heart skip another beat.

Mirajane quickly hid her disappointment at not being able to watch Master Bob and Blue Pegasus further humiliate themselves on TV Tokyo, but consoled herself with the fact that there was going to be another rerun at 8pm later that night. Changing the subject, she asked, "So Natsu's bored, you say?"

"Mira-san, that's an understatement to say the least!" the Spirit Mage wailed again, clutching fistfuls of her silky blonde locks in exasperation. "In the past five days since filming for Fairy Tail ended, he's picked 150 fights with Gray, made 145 challenges to Gildarts, 130 to Laxus, 118 to Gajeel and 1 to Erza!"

"Only 1 to Erza?"

"She taught him a lesson he would never forget after the first time, and he never asked again!" Despite herself, she couldn't stop a smile from spreading across her pretty features at the memory of a screaming Natsu dangling from the roof of his cottage, begging Erza to put him down as the heartless Titania continued swinging the Dragon Slayer upside down in dizzying circles and threatening to put him on a never-ending train ride to the end of Earthland if he didn't stop issuing pointless challenges to the Guild's elite.

The S-class mage shook her head at Natsu's antics, smiling ruefully, "He's only going to get worse you know, Lucy."

"I know," the blonde moaned, fiddling agitatedly with the laces of her black suede boots. "He keeps coming over to my apartment at all times of the day and night saying he's restless and while he's busy throwing a hissy-fit, Happy's busy stealing anything remotely fishy from my fridge!" Kneading her temples, she sighed again. "I can't understand why he's having so many withdrawal symptoms, I actually like not having a camera crew following us around all the time, filming our every move."

"You know how Natsu is," Mirajane shrugged sympathetically, reaching behind to refill a tankard of beer as she spotted Macao walking towards them. "He thrives on attention; not being in the spotlight after being the star of the show for five years has obviously reduced him to feeling a little lost."

Lucy pouted. "But it's about time we got on with our lives again, with being just Fairy Tail, not Fairy Tail- the anime! Besides, I think that final battle with all the dragons is more than enough excitement for a lifetime!"

"It was, wasn't it," Mira agreed, handing the overflowing tankard of beer to Macao. "That epic showdown where Natsu, Wendy and Gajeel teamed up with Igneel, Grandeeney and Metalicana lasted for at least fifty episodes!"

"Well, I think viewers would have felt short-changed if Acnologia was able to be defeated so easily and in such a short space of time," the younger mage replied. "And anyhow, that final arc was so good we managed to score an average rating of 9.8 per episode on Crunchyroll!" And don't forget we managed to knock both Bleach and One Piece off the top of the best-seller list for three weeks running too, mmmph! She giggled silently.

"Well, starring on a hit TV show for five years is great and all, but I won't pretend it's nice not to be watched by millions of people all around the world," Gray grinned. "Maybe now I'll finally stop getting all those letters from mothers telling me to stop stripping because it constitutes to sexual harassment for their underage daughters watching the show!" As he bent down to retie his combat bootlaces, he paused to whisper something into her ear. "It also leaves a lot more time to pursue other interests, na Lucy?" His hot breath ghosting over her sensitive lobe coupled with his suggestive tone caused another thrill to run down her spine. Kami-sama if he didn't stop right now, she just might start hyperventilating. And right on cue, he gave her another dazzling wink to which she thought her last prediction might just come true.

From behind a secluded pillar, Juvia sighed dreamily she clutched a hand over her heart. Juvia is glad too, Gray-sama, that now Juvia can stalk Gray-sama 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without having Juvia herself and the whole world watch Juvia stalk Gray-sama on TV every week! It also means he won't be spending so much time around Lucy now that they don't have to be on the same team anymore! The bluenette's rapturous expression suddenly turned murderous as she noticed the lingering looks that her beloved had been bestowing on the pretty Celestial Spirit Mage, the two Mages sitting a little too close together for Juvia's comfort. Lucy is Juvia's love-rival, Juvia will not let Lucy win Gray-sama for herself! she swore, clenching her fists tightly. Juvia must redouble her stalking efforts! Lucy-san may try to take a bath with Gray-sama, Juvia must get round to drilling that spy-hole in Gray-sama's bathroom…and the bedroom, and the kitchen….

"I can eat more than ONE piece of strawberry cheesecake every day now!" Blissfully unaware of the monstrous killer intent radiating from the pillar behind her, Lucy blinked a little startledly as Fairy Tail's other S-Class female mage walked up to the counter, clutching what had to be the most enormous cheesecake anyone had ever seen. The redhead sat down next to Gray and began shoving huge forkfuls into her mouth at lightning speed, while Lucy and the rest of the guild could only gape in awe. (That cheesecake has got to be bigger than Reedus! Shut up Jet, do you want Levy to hear you saying things like that?!) "The producers were afraid that a female eating too much cake would scare off the guys. And ruin my figure," she snorted.

"I can be a Man now without producers telling me what THEY think being a Man should be like," Elfman declared, punching the air with a victorious fist.

"And Gray can finally strip down without his boxers," Cana snickered. "No more having to keep them on so that the show can be rated PG!"

OOOOHHH! Juvia nearly fainted at the thought of a naked Gray, her imagination going into hyper drive as she imagined him in lying in all in his glory in her bath tub, covered in nothing but several strategically placed patches of bubble foam.

Juvia, he called, a sexy smirk adorning his chiselled features. With his dazzling, sparkling eyes and abnormally glowing skin, he was Juvia's vision of absolute perfection. "It's getting a little too hot in here," he purred, beckoning a finger to her. "…why don't you let me cool things down a little for you?"

OOOOHHHHHH!

Lucy jumped a little at the huge thump! that suddenly sounded behind her. Craning her neck, she was puzzled to see the prone form of Juvia splayed on the floor, little hearts madly dancing in front of her eyes. Strange.

In reality however, the Ice Mage was not amused. "Better to be naked than to be accused of being fashion-handicapped by only wearing one sleeve, na Natsu?" He cracked his knuckles gleefully, knowing the short-fused Natsu would definitely rise to the bait. However much he was glad their TV show had ended, he had to admit life had been somewhat boring without having a ready-written adventure every day. "You'd think an S-Class Mage such as yourself would earn enough money to be able to afford a shirt with two sleeves!"

Everyone's head automatically swivelled towards the pink-haired Dragon Slayer who had been fast asleep under a table until then, a big raspberry blowing out of his left nostril with each snort. He suddenly shot bolt upright, eyes wide with surprise. "Did someone say my name?"

"Gray said you have no fashion sense because you only wear one sleeve," Happy supplied helpfully as the roseate Dragon Slayer's eyes narrowed at his long-time rival; who only smirked tauntingly in return.

"You want to go at it, droopy-eyes?"

"I'd like to see you try it, flame-breath!"

"There they go again," Lucy muttered dully as the pair started grappling and scuffling around the Guild floor, knocking over Elfman, who knocked over Gajeel, who in turn knocked over Macao…and before long things escalated into the usual pandemonium until Master had to use his Titan to knock some sense into everyone (literally).

And it wasn't even mid-morning yet.

A bruised and scratched Natsu slumped onto the counter next to her, gingerly touching his rapidly swelling left-cheek. "I'm bored," he whined.

Lucy glared. "You're only telling me for the 185,423,769th time this week! Why don't you go and do a job if you're so bored?"

He shrugged. "It's strange, but for the first time in my life I feel so…unmotivated. There are no TV cameras following my every move, so I don't need to put on a show for them. I'm already an S-Class Mage. I managed to find Igneel again. We destroyed Zeref and Acnologia with the help of the dragons. We exterminated Oracion Seis and the rest of the dark guilds. What else is there left to do?"

"The next logical thing to do would be to get married and start a family!"

Lucy choked on her lemonade as she watched Natsu's horrified face at Mirajane's cheery pronouncement. Gray snickered from across the room, where he was busy icing the bruises he'd sustained from the skirmish with Natsu.

"Na Mira-san…why would I want to do something like that?" Natsu shook his head in utter confusion.

The white-haired mage beamed down at him. "Isn't it everybody's dream to get married, have kids and start a family? Even Mashima-sensei intended for you to do that, why else would he write in a wedding scene for you and Lucy in the final chapter of the manga?" She clasped her hands together joyfully as she started imagining little pink haired, brown-eyed babies running around the Guild, setting everything and everyone on fire. Kawaii!

The Dragon Slayer spluttered wildly as Happy attempted to pat his back. "That was because at the last Anime Convention, 80% of his female readers threatened to abandon the manga and the anime if he didn't write in a "NaLu" pairing in the ending," he sulked. "It doesn't mean it's true in real life though, Lucy's just my nakama!" He nudged her. "Na, Lucy?"

Before she could answer, Gray chimed in as well, "Those fangirls are such an annoyance, they also threated to stop supporting us if Mashima-sensei didn't give them a…what do you call it, "Gruvia" pairing? I hate it when they try to pair us up with random people just to satisfy their twisted little minds!"

Juvia felt her heart shatter into a million little pieces at his statement. Gray-sama, how could you do this to Juvia! Juvia isn't some "random person", Juvia is Gray-sama's future bride!

Feeling her heart skip a little involuntarily at Gray's words, Lucy turned back in relief to Natsu. "Don't worry, it's just for the fans," she soothed. Only Mirajane noticed the fleeting glance she threw in Gray's direction. Picturing little blonde-haired, dark-eyed babies running around turning everyone and everything into ice, the Take Over specialist couldn't help going into raptures again. Kawaiiii!

"Na, Happy…do you think maybe its time we tried doing a 10-year mission?"

It was another lazy summer afternoon, and Natsu and Happy were just about to step outside for some ice cream.

"Natsu!" His blue Exceed companion was visibly shocked. "I don't think you're ready yet!"

"But I'm so boreddddd," Natsu groaned, running a hand through his already rumpled pink locks and scrunching up his face. "There are no more bad guys to kill, and the jobs we have are all so easy; I've been doing nothing but chasing down petty criminals and finding lost artefacts for the last 5 weeks!"

The tiny cat shrugged. "Maybe Mirajane has a point Natsu…you should find yourself a girlfriend, then you won't be so bored. What about Lucy? I'm sure she liiiiiiiikes you!"

Natsu glared down at the Exceed. "I don't need a girlfriend, and Lucy is just my nakama, nothing more than that."

"What about Lisanna then? I'm sure she liiiiiiiiiiikes you as we…"

"Natsu-san!"

He jumped at the sudden shout. Happy peeked round from the large salmon head he was currently hiding behind.

"Phone call for you!" Wendy Marvell waved at him from the entrance of the Guild.

He grumbled. "But we were just about to head out for ice-cre…"

The indigo-haired Dragon Slayer gestured frantically. "It's from the TV Tokyo producers, they want to talk to you about starring in a new show!"

"YOSH! Looks like we're back in business!" He started sprinting back to the Guild's Entrance, nearly knocking over Wendy in his excitement and leaving a bemused Happy in a cloud of dust. "I'M ALL FIRED UP NOW!"

"NANI?!"

Natsu suddenly realised that he couldn't breath. Another droplet of sweat trickled down his pale face, his forehead glistening with the light sheen of his sudden cold sweat. Balling his fists, he was mortified to see that they were literally shaking.

He was trembling. In fear.

Not since Igneel had left him all those years ago in X777 had he ever felt this panicky.

"Now Dragneel-san, there's no need to act so shocked…" one of the producers lifted up a hand, almost as if he wanted to reassure the petrified Dragon Slayer.

"…but really, you have to understand that this idea is too good to resist!" Another one chimed in, his grin stretched so wide across his face Natsu was half afraid it might snap like one of Romeo's slingshot bands.

"Dragneel-san, you know we can't ignore the fangirls' requests. After all, they're the ones keeping the manga, DVD and chibi figurines sales alive…"

"…Not to mention that thanks to all the hype after the anime finale, we've managed to sell almost 500,000 fluffy Natsu toys!"

Natsu groaned, wishing he could put a hand to his ears and drown those b*stards out lalalala….

"Dragneel-san," the first producer ventured timidly again, his voice barely audible against the cacophony of the other producers' excited jabbering. "Surely you know that the ratings for My Little Blue Pegasus were absolutely abysmal. It just goes to show that the public doesn't want Master Bob, they want more Natsu!"

"Yes, more Natsu," the Dragon Slayer growled. "I thought that you were going to create a Fairy Tail spin-off, or renew the show for another season…"

"Now now Dragneel-san," the second producer admonished, wagging a finger dangerously close to the irate mage's face. "Your mangaka, Mashima-sensei has already stated that he's done with you and your little friends. You know that he wants to concentrate on that new series starring Plue. Even if we were to renew your show for another season, it would all be fillers, and the ratings then would be even worse than for Blue Pegasus!"

"But why a SHOUJO ROM-COM?" The roseate suddenly bawled, slamming his fists onto the handsome wooden table and making everyone jump backwards 10 feet.

"With all due respect, Dragneel-san, they're all the rage now…"

"Not just in Japan, but all over the world…"

"Have you even seen The Bachelorette, it's my favourite show!"

"I'm a traditionalist, give me When Harry Met Sally any day over those ridiculous reality shows…"

"Eve...every…everyone!" It was the timid producer again- was he the boss around here despite sounding like Wendy? There was a sudden pause in the conversation.

"You're all correct- which is why our new show is going to be a fusion of both! A reality show, but a good-old fashioned one full of love, passion, adventure- a charming, dashing young man goes off in search of his one true love…all captured on live television of course. It will be an absolute hit with the fangirls, I can promise you that!"

Natsu thought he actually saw him blink away a tear.

Everyone began talking again, but he waved his hand again.

"But wait! There's more to it."

The babbling died down in an instant.

"Everyone- this show is going to be a crossover, a historic one-of-a-kind, never-before-seen collaboration between two of Japan's most beloved anime casts!" He paused for breath, in what was obviously a pathetic attempt to be dramatic. Rather ironic given his profession, Natsu thought somewhat idly.

"This show is going to be an alliance of the most epic proportions, featuring some of the world's best loved heroes…This is going to be a crossover between Fairy Tail…and NARUTO!"

Silence.

Natsu felt his jaw drop open.

Naruto?! Wasn't that some sort of…detergent? Oh wait no that was Bleach. A...a…a fishcake?

The lead producer looked a little put out. "I thought it would be an excellent way to boost ratings. Think about it- a joint effort between Naruto and Fairy Tail would attract fangirls oops I meant viewers from both fandoms, our viewer count and ratings would go through the roof!"

"I LIKE IT!" The second producer burst in. "That's settled then, this project is going ahead!"

The obvious excitement in the room began to burst forth in torrents, and Natsu found himself staring around bewilderedly as everyone began talking at the top of their voices around him.

"This show will be just what we need to get back onto the Prime Time slots again…"

"…It could be the greatest thing since Dragon Ball Z…"

"…finally overtake One Piece…"

"NOW WAIT A MINUTE!" he suddenly roared.

The room stopped again.

Producer No. 2 glared at him. "Dragneel-san, surely you see the brilliance of this…"

"I refuse to do it."

The sudden silence permeating the room was eerily tangible.

The Dragon Slayer had stood up from his chair, fists clenched, a familiarly stubborn expression on his face.

When Natsu was in that kind of mood, no one dared to cross paths with him. Not even Erza. Not if they didn't want to be roasted to a cinder.

But the TV Tokyo producers weren't Erza, and they were not to be deterred. They didn't have a hundred different types of armour and weapons to requip into, but they had other "weapons" up their sleeve.

Half an hour later, he slumped down on his chair, sulking. Those damn producers had babbled on about suing him for "beach of contact", threatened to freeze him out of future royalty payments and thrown all sorts of legal mumbo-jumbo jargon at him that he had no idea about. But one thing was clear: he was going to have to do it, OR ELSE.

"What, another show? So fast?" Gray Fullbuster scratched the back of his head awkwardly, his lips pursed in obvious surprise. "And a shoujo rom-com to boot?"

The Dragon Slayer shrugged moodily. "If you think that's bad, wait until you hear the plot."

"I can hardly wait," Erza smirked, tucking into what must have been her tenth cheesecake of the day. Lucy continued to gape in stupefied awe at her teammate, idly wondering if her Heart Kreuz armour had a secret elastic waist because surely no one could eat about a kilogramme's worth of cheesecake and not feel their stomach literally expand. "It must be really funny if it's gotten you so fired up."

Natsu glared at the Requip Mage, but luckily for him she didn't see it. Lucy bent down and picked up the crumpled sheaf of papers he had been crushing in his fist; presumably the script for the new "show".

Flicking the first page open, she began to read aloud.

"Natsu: Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story…

…the story of how I met your mother/kaa-san."

She looked up at him, her jaw dropping wide in shock. "What kind of show is this?"

"AAARRRGHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO DO THIS!"

Punching a huge hole in the wall (Please Natsu, we just rebuilt the Guild yesterday!) and shooting off a giant fireball (Fire Dragon's Roar!) which had everyone scrambling for cover, he stormed off while the rest of Team Natsu huddled around her, peering at the crinkled pages with more than an unhealthy interest as to what future humiliations lay in store for their doomed teammate.

Gray started reading again.

"You know, ever since we were in Fairy Tail it had always been Gray, Lucy, Erza and me. Now it's going to be Gray and Lucy, Erza and Jellal…and me. They're all going to go off, get married, start a family and before you know it, I'm that middle-aged Dragon Slayer bachelor guy they call "Natsu-ojisan".

The Ice Mage started cracking up, snorting with laughter as he clutched his sides. "Oh sh*t, this sounds like good stuff!"

Lucy on the other hand, was flushing bright pink at the mention of herself and Gray.

"Give me that!" Erza almost snatched the thing right out of a momentarily stunned Lucy's hand, her smirk growing wider as she quickly scanned the rest of the pages. Finally, she announced to the rest of a startled Guild: "I think we're in for a very interesting summer viewing program."

"Igneel…do you really have to leave me again?"

The great scarlet dragon reached down and touched his snout to Natsu's wild mop of pink spikes, a deep throaty hum emanating from his being. The Dragon Slayer reached out to run his hands across the shiny crimson scales dotting his foster father's enormous length, shafts of light dancing across them and making his body glow with the reflection of a thousand vermilion sparks. He clutched the scale-patterned white scarf knotted around his neck tightly, almost as if he wanted to forcefully choke back the wave of emotions that were threatening to spill over and out of him.

"Hurry up you big cry-baby, we don't have time to stand around all day che!" The harsh, gravelly tones of Metalicana suddenly cut in, tempered with evident impatience at the extended farewell. It was no surprise where Gajeel had inherited his monstrous temper from then. "Paradise Island is a month-long flight from here!"

"Igneel…" Natsu felt his eyes brim over with tears, hurriedly wiping them away before anyone else could see. He's leaving me again…and just when I thought I'd found him, we would never be separated again…

"Don't cry, Natsu," the fire-dragon rumbled, small puffs of smoke escaping from his nostrils. "You know that my dream has always been to sip flaming Lamborghinis and have fire chicken all day on Paradise Island. Besides," he twisted his features in a semblance of a smile. "I have nothing more to teach you. You have gone on to surpass me and every other Mage I have ever known…you are a true Fire Dragon Slayer now. And I am proud to have been your father."

"Igneel…." Tears were freely streaming down his cheeks now.

"I said quit it with the emotional crap, Igneel!" Metalicana was almost beside himself with exasperation now. "The boy will never stop blubbering now that you got started on all this tear-jerking nonsense!"

"Don't be so jealous, Metalicana," Grandeeney smirked, nodding her head at the fuming iron dragon. She shifted her powder-blue wings slightly, yawning a little. "Just because your foster son declined to see you off does not mean you should not extend that same liberty to Igneel and his son."

Metalicana snorted dangerously, but held his tongue after that.

"Natsu."

The roseate-haired Mage blinked a little at the tears that were still pooling around his eyelashes.

"Before I leave, I have a promise I want you to make to me."

Natsu blinked again, but this time in surprise. A mixture of bewilderment and slight anticipation coursed through him, piquing his curiosity.

"Natsu, I want you to get married."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"CUT!" The angry face of Director Baka poked out from behind his Director's Chair, his brows furrowed together in clear annoyance. He waved his arms at the glowering Dragon Slayer, who in turn slammed down the empty bottle marked 'Eye Drops- great for crying!' onto the ground in a blatant show of his disgust. "Igneel would NEVER say or make me do something like that," he growled, baring his teeth. "You're making a mockery of my foster father!"

Gray pulled off the red Igneel dragon mask, fanning himself in relief as the cool air swept over his flushed face. "Actually Natsu, what's so wrong about a father telling his son to get married? I'm sure it's something my father and mother would have wanted me to do, carry on the Fullbuster name and all. Phew, this stupid dragon suit is hot. Why couldn't the damn producers just get in the real things?" The last part was muttered so softly, only Wendy in the Grandeeney costume next to him could hear it.

"And why would anyone want to pass down those stripper genes?" A frustrated Natsu couldn't resist throwing in the jibe at his brunette teammate, he needed an easy outlet for his pent-up rage and humiliation.

"Grrr better than passing down that hot-headed temper of yours!"

"You're asking for it, you snowman stripper!"

"Bring it on, you flame-brained loud-mouth! Ice-Make…"

"Can we get back to it?" Gajeel's voice held a barely controlled hint of petulance in it. "This Metalicana costume is wearing the life out of me!"

Sighing, the Ice-Magic caster broke off his verbal sparring match and covered his face again with the Igneel mask, sinking back down into that stuffy, red inferno of a polyester dragon suit. The thousands of red glass scales sewn onto it shimmered brightly under the glare of the spotlight, blinding anyone who looked too closely at it. "Natsu…," he intoned, deepening his voice a few octaves. "Promise me you'll journey around the world, search every corner of the ocean, land and sky; no matter how long it takes until you find the one who says she'll love you for eternity?" Inwardly, he groaned at the infinitely cheesy lines he was being forced to say. Who writes this stuff? "I will always be your father, but it's time you started a family of your own, and raised the next generation of Dragon Slayers."

"I will. Pfft." His pink-haired rival scowled, folding his arms sulkily.

As he watched Igneel/Gray start to "fly" away, the dragon suddenly turned back to him. "Oh and Natsu?"

"Yes, my beloved foster father?" He couldn't keep his voice from dripping with sarcasm anymore.

"Make sure she has pink hair. I've always liked your hair colour, and it really would be a shame if you allowed it to die out like that. After all, countless generations of Dragon Slayers before you have had pink hair. Make sure you keep the tradition going!" With a final wave of his polyester wings, Gray/Igneel shuffled off the set.

"CUTTTTTT!" Director Baka leapt onto the set, applauding wildly as ridiculous tears of happiness began to stream down the flabby folds of his cheeks. "That was beautiful!"

"HMPH!" It was all Natsu could do to stop himself from destroying this farce of a show with the strongest Fire Dragon attack he could muster. One well placed Fire Dragon's Roar would turn Director Baka into Roasted Baka in no time…

Levy, who was alternating between narrating the show with Natsu, stepped forward. "And so, forced by the dual pressures of being the only unmarried oji-san in the Fairy Tail Guild and the last mandate from his foster father, Natsu Dragneel set off into the world to look for what promised to be an elusive search for the pink-haired girl his father had spoken of. And this," she paused dramatically. "is where our story really begins." The blue-haired Mage set down her script. "That's the end of Episode 1," she announced, pushing back her reading glasses onto the bridge of her nose. "Director-sama, is that the end of filming for today?"

"Oh yes, yes," he nodded vigorously, wiping down his sweaty brow with a red cloth that Levy distinctly remembered had been used to wipe the dust off the cameras and recording equipment. "Good work, everyone. Tomorrow, we'll be joining up with the rest of the Naruto cast so get ready to leave at the crack of dawn!"

Natsu's eyes bulged. "We're…we're…we're actually going to their world?"

The chubby man nodded, his entire face glowing with anticipation. "Tomorrow- we set off for Konohagakure! It's going to be a twenty-hour train ride…" Natsu blanched at this. "…but for the TV show of the century, sacrifices have to be made! Oh it's going to be epic! I'll be known as the next Steven Spielberg after this baby comes out, that's for sure…" rubbing his hands gleefully, Director Baka swept out of the room, leaving a very tired and somewhat perplexed cast behind.

"Ko...no...ha...ga…ku…re," Gray muttered thoughtfully, stroking his chin. He was back to his semi-naked self, having stripped off the suffocating suit as soon as Director Baka had yelled, "CUT!" "The Village Hidden in the Leaves."

"It's a very pretty name," Levy replied cheerfully, pushing a stray lock of blue hair off her forehead. "I've never watched their show, but I've read the manga and it's supposed to be a beautiful place to live!"

"We'll just have to wait for tomorrow to find out!" Wendy beamed shyly, the Sky Dragon Slayer having also changed out of her blue dragon costume. "But I'd better get ready to cast my Troia on Natsu-san," she glanced worriedly at the older Dragon Slayer, who was beating his fists on the floor, crying loudly. (Happy, I'm going to kill them all when this show is done! Aye, sir!) "I don't think he'd be able to survive otherwise."

"Oi teme!" Sasuke didn't even bother turning around to look at the agitated blonde pacing wildly behind him, a vein visibly twitching on his temple as Naruto felt the need to voice out his frustrations for what was definitely the 100th time in half an hour. "I can't believe even you couldn't convince Tsunade-baachan that taking part in this stupid show is a waste of time!" Wearing a huge pout reminiscent of his genin days where he used to turn up his nose at yet another cat-rescue mission, he sulked at the annoyingly indifferent Uchiha. "Oi teme, you can't even act as if you can be bothered?"

Inwardly cursing Kami-sama for both blessing and cursing him with a hyperactive knucklehead for a best friend, the dark-haired Uchiha's scowl only deepened. "Dobe. You know it's punishment for telling Gai-sensei that the Hokage wanted to be his date for the Hanabi Festival next week since she was pushing 60, and needed to surround herself with the springtime of youth," he mumbled. "Plus the fact that I know she's planning to use the money that TV Tokyo is going to pay Konoha for taking part in this new TV show to replenish her sake stock for the next 10 years." He stretched a little, taking another mouthful of his onigiri and tomato bento. Couldn't a guy even take a day off without having to involve this idiot loudmouth?

Naruto felt his own scowl mirror Sasuke's (Kami, they really must be spending too much time together!) as he scuffed the open-toes of his ninja sandals along the ground. "They haven't even told us what the show's going to be about, apart from the fact that it's got ugh…romance in it. Mou, what is everything coming to if even ninja have to be forced into doing dumb things like this, dattebayo! Sounds like it's even worse than chasing cats!"

Feeling a little wary at what the term 'romance' might have in store for him (he had recently appealed to the Hokage to force a disbandment of his fan club on the grounds of gross invasions of privacy, only for her to laugh in his face dismissively; telling him that Madara's fan club had far outnumbered his anyway), Sasuke secretly hoped it had nothing to do with the rabid mob that gathered outside the Uchiha compound every morning, screaming annoying things like "We love you Sasuke-kun!" and the ubiquitous "MARRY ME, SASUKE-KUN!" Yesterday, he had even spotted a couple of male chunin in the crowd! Probably not though, as he briefly remembered Tsunade saying something about his and Naruto's role only being a supporting one this time. Although he was massively relieved, a prick of jealousy shot through his heart as he wondered who had been chosen to play the lead role. Wasn't he supposed to be the handsomest shinobi in the village? Sasuke knew that the lead actor in any of these shojo romance movies had definitely NOT been chosen for their talent or skills. At least I know the dobe isn't handsomer than me, since he's only playing a supporting role too! He couldn't help smirking in satisfaction, pushing away the sniggering voice in his head taunting him that his male ego would have been irreparably crushed had the former come true. I just might have to really kill him then.

His sharp ears caught the faint sounds of a voice in the distance. Jumping to his feet, he replied, "Dobe, I hear something."

"Cheh, I've been walking for ages and I have no idea where I am!"

"Huh teme, did you say something?" The orange-clad ninja was by his side in an instant, although the loud slurping sounds he was making had completely drowned out the slivers of sound the Uchiha had garnered. Gritting his teeth in irritation, he pushed the whiskered boy away. "Don't come so close to me, dobe! You're getting all your disgusting ramen over me." He wiped his dark-blue shirt forcefully, momentarily panicking as he noticed the miniscule droplets of soup that had obviously come from the instant ramen the blonde was tucking into. What a pity the Yondaime had died before he'd had time to teach that dobe some table manners!

"Stop being such an uptight ass all the time teme! You're just jealous that Sakura-chan bought this amazing cup ramen for me, and you didn't get anything!" Completely disregarding the fact that he was now twenty-two years old and next in line to be Hokage, Naruto couldn't resist childishly sticking out his tongue at the Uchiha. "Nyeh!"

"Hn. You're going to die an early death from all that instant ramen anyway."

"Take that back teme! I'm not going to die before I become Hokage, nor am I going to die before I make ramen the official food of Konoha!"

Sasuke was struck in horror at the Kyuubi container's last words. When had that become part of Naruto's manifesto?

Since his teammate never showed any emotion (unless it was a near-lunatic rage that made him look like a deranged madman), the blonde took his silence as acquiescence, maybe even admiration at his newest proposal to completely overhaul the existing culinary system in the village. "Not only that, I'm going to declare a 'Ramen Day' every month, where all citizens can only eat ramen on that day; anyone eating udon or soba will be sentenced to E-Rank missions for a year. Also teme, I thought it would be a great idea if the cafeteria in the Academy only served ramen, so that the next generation of ninja will be able to develop an appreciation for ramen from a young age! I'm sure Sakura-chan will agree that it's got great nutritional value too, look at me- I started eating ramen at the age of three and I grew up to be smart enough to become Hokage!"

He rubbed his hands gleefully, blissfully unaware of the vein throbbing violently in the Uchiha's left temple. "And when I die teme, I'd like you to make sure that the village continues passing on the "Will of Ramen" to the younger generation. Hey, maybe the ANBU headquarters and jonin lounge could get a ramen stall too; maybe it would improve ninja intelligence and mission success. Oh and teme, do you think Kakashi-sensei will get mad if I told him that I'm planning to replace the Pink Bookstore with another outlet of Ichiraku Ramen? I thought…"

"Usuratonkachi. Tsunade will never let you become Hokage at this rate."

"Just you wait and see, teme! I'm going to become the Hokage whether you like it or not, dattebayo! And I'll ban tomatoes too!" He stuck his tongue out again.

"Dobe. You wouldn't dare." Sasuke cracked his knuckles threateningly.

"Teme. I SO dare." Naruto followed suit, a feral grin lighting up his whiskered face.

"Dobe."

"Teme."

"DOBE."

"TEME!"

"RASENG…!" "CHIDOR…!"

"Oi!" Sasuke felt the crackle of blue lightning-chakra he had amassed in his hand dissipate in an instant, along with the raucous chirping of his Chidori. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Naruto's ball of energy similarly disappear. Turning around to face the source of the voice, Sasuke felt a sudden jolt of surprise at the young man who had interrupted them. Cursing a little, he realised that he had been so focussed on the fight with Naruto that he had not even sensed the stranger's chakra signature upon them.

Before he could say anything, Naruto had already whispered loudly, "Ano sa teme, I've NEVER seen anyone with hair that colour! Do you think he could be an impostor?"

"Shut up, dobe," he hissed back. Fixing his cold, onyx eyes on the newcomer, Sasuke cleared his throat a little. "Who are you, and what is your business here?"

A small frown formed on their pink-haired visitor's face. Clearly, people in the Naruto world were lacking a bit of common courtesy. "I'm looking for a place called Ko…no...ha. Do you know where it is?"

Exchanging a quick look with his teammate, Sasuke nodded but reached behind to place a hand on Kusanagi. Although their manga and anime had officially ended, there was no guarantee that some unknown enemy was not laying a trap to harm Konoha, which was still in the process of rebuilding even 5 years after the devastating aftermath of the Fourth Great Ninja War. "This is Konoha. Who are you, and what is your business here?" he repeated, his grip tightening on the blade.

Evidently aggravated at the icy reception he was getting from the former rogue-nin, the pink-haired young man huffed. "You ninja sure are stuffy! My name is Natsu Dragneel, and I'm a mage of Fairy Tail!"

"Fairy Tail, huh?" Sasuke withdrew his hand from Kusanagi's shaft. "I've heard about your guild. What business do you have in our world?"

Scratching the back of his head awkwardly, he gave a goofy smile that was strangely reminiscent of the blonde Kyuubi container. "Haha…uhh…actually I'm here to…uh…film…a…"

Sasuke stared as the pink-haired mage began to sweatdrop.

"Uh…I'm uh…actually…uhhh… I'm here to see the haruno sakura! That's it! Haha." (*haruno sakura- cherry blossom fields) He beamed at them, showing off gleaming white teeth with canines that seemed unusually long for a human.

Slightly confused but carefully keeping his expression blank, Sasuke slowly replied, "So you're a tourist here…?"

Knocking him aside, Naruto started babbling excitedly. "He's looking for Sakura-chan! Teme, that's why he's got pink hair, he must be Sakura-chan's relative! Ano," he clasped a startled Natsu's hands. "…you're looking for Haruno Sakura right?"

"Ah...yes…I guess so…" Even Natsu looked a little overwhelmed by the blonde's sudden excitement, as he suddenly found himself being dragged away by the overexcited Jinchuuriki. "Wait a second, where are we going?!"

"To see Sakura-chan of course!"

Sakura-chan? They called their cherry blossom fields Sakura-chan? As if they were people? And why the hell was the orange boy so excited about going to see the cherry blossoms anyway? The Dragon Slayer felt his tired and train-sick mind become even more confused. Maybe I should have told them I was here to film that damn TV show…but it seemed less embarrassing to pose as a tourist and ask to see their cherry blossom fields; after all Lucy did say that Konoha was very famous for their lush greenery and cherry blossom fields…If only I hadn't gotten separated from the rest of the crew at the train station, I wouldn't have felt so embarrassed coming in a group!

"Oi Naruto! I think you've…" Sasuke stared at the orange blur that had whizzed past him, dragging a very very confused pink-haired mage behind him. "…made a mistake."

And even from the gates of Konoha, Sasuke could hear Naruto bellowing through the village. "Sakura-chan! Your BROTHER'S here's to see you!"

Naruto, what have you done this time!

"Tsunade-sama! I've brought the mages from Fairy Tail up, as you requested," Shizune's head popped round the door, her usual friendly smile soon dissolving into a disapproving scowl at the sight before her. "Tsunade-sama!" Her assistant chided her, darting forward to snatch the sake bottle away from the evidently inebriated Hokage. "Not on a Monday morning! And definitely not when we have visitors too!"

The busty blonde only grumbled, tapping her shiny red fingernails impatiently on the polished mahogany desk. "Send them in, send them in. Yare yare, it's not as if we're expecting a visit from Madara himself, surely a woman is entitled to ONE drink. Oh and Shizune, you're fired. I'm getting Izumo and Kotetsu to replace you."

Hiding a smile at the familiarity of their Monday morning routine, the jonin medic merely replied, "Hai, Tsunade-sama. I'll just hand Tonton over to them in a second, eventhough you know how much Izumo-san and Kotetsu-san like their pork ramen." Ignoring the loud scoff behind her, she poked her head back into the corridor, beckoning to the company of mages patiently waiting outside. "Hokage-sama will see you now."

As she headed down the corridor, she suddenly jumped at Tsunade's surprised exclamation from behind her. "A flying blue cat?!"

"How about it, forehead? You know you want to...I'll even thrown in a five percent discount, ne?"

Sakura jumped backwards in shock as Ino's face loomed right in front of her over the bunch of lilacs she had been sniffing. "Pig, stop doing that! It freaks me out everytime you sneak up on me like that," the pinkette grumbled.

Ino merely shrugged nonchalantly, her turquoise eyes gleaming with mirth before going back into full salesgirl mode. "So how about it forehead?" she repeated, waving the bunch in front of Sakura's nose. "Two big bunches for lover boy? You can't go wrong with the lilacs- they match that stupid rope belt he's so into nowadays!"

"Stop it, Pig," her friend mumbled, turning away and hiding her face in a huge wreath of white freesias. "You know I gave up on Sasuke-kun a long time ago."

The blonde huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "I guarantee you that no guy can resist Yamanaka's famed flower creations! Even a manly guy like Sasuke-kun will fall at your feet upon receiving one of my special arrangements! Remember Kankuro, when he…"

"You mean the time you accepted his offer for a date upon receiving one of your own creations, which YOU sold to him? Way to go, Pig."

"I have other success stories, Forehead! Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-sensei, Gai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei…"

"PLEASE tell me you're kidding…!"

Before Ino had a chance to retort, they heard a familiar voice echo through the village.

"Sakura-chan! Your BROTHER'S here's to see you!"

"Eh?" Sakura's face was as blank as the whitewashed walls of the Konoha Hospital.

Ino's face showed similar confusion. "Forehead, we've been friends for fifteen years now…is there something or someone you forgot to tell me about?" She looked pointedly at the medical nin.

The pink-haired kunoichi lifted up her hands. "I thought kaa-san was way past the optimal age for childbirth! She can't be…"

Ino wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Accidents happen all the time, Forehead," she cooed.

Sakura shook her head at the incredulity of the situation. "Seeing as the messenger is Naruto, it's more than likely there's been some sort of mistake. I don't have a brother, and it's more than likely that I won't ever be getting…"

BAM!

The glass doors swung open, and a familiar orange-clad figure zoomed in dragging another person…hang on, it didn't look like Sasuke-kun…

"SAKURA-CHAN!" Dropping whoever it was he had been hauling, the whiskered shinobi greeted her in his usual exuberant way, although Sakura thought he seemed more excited (if that was even possible) than normal. He grabbed her in a bear hug, squeezing her so hard she thought she might just expire.

"Naruto!" She exclaimed, aiming a chakra-laced punch at one orange shoulder. "What's the meaning of all this?"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shook her vigorously, still too excited to register the ache that had sprung up in his right shoulder thanks to his teammate's vicious punch. "Why didn't you tell me your brother was coming to visit?"

"What are you talking about, ramen boy?" Ino interjected. "We all know Forehead's an only child, unless…"

"No she's not! He said he's her brother!" Sakura turned to the young man lying on the floor that Naruto was pointing at. She couldn't really see what he looked like, but that was besides the point. "Naruto, I've never seen him in my life!"

"Ano, you lied to me!" He suddenly kicked the dark-clad figure on the ground. "You said you were looking for Haruno Sakura!"

"I am!" The stranger suddenly sat up and Sakura gasped aloud. A guy with pink hair?! And he was looking for her?

Taking no notice of the waves of confusion radiating from the two girls, the roseate haired young man continued arguing with Naruto. "All I said was that I was looking for the cherry blossoms, but you suddenly dragged me to this flower shop…"

The lightbulb suddenly lit up. Haru no sakura…Haruno Sakura. Sakura sighed. As always, the number one hyperactive knuckleheaded ninja had gone and made a spectacular blunder again.

The boy continued ranting. "I never said I was anyone's brother, you teme just jumped to that conclusion..." his voice suddenly trailed off as he caught sight of the girls. Or rather, one girl in particular.

A pink-haired girl! Could she possibly be…?

BAM! The doors were flung wide open again, only this time it was Tsunade- followed by a whole host of strange people that Sakura had never seen before. They were dressed strangely too- they certainly weren't wearing any shinobi uniform she was familiar with. Heck, these people didn't even dress like they were fit to be shinobi! There was a blonde girl wearing a skirt so short it might blow upwards at the merest hint of a Futon jutsu, a semi-naked guy, and…and…was that a cat with wings?!

"There you are, Sakura!" Her shisou boomed, cracking her knuckles with an audible pop. "I've been looking for you all morning. Remember that TV show I spoke to you about last we…oh and talk about good timing," the Hokage broke off as she noticed the two knuckleheads staring at her. "Natsu, we've been looking for you all morning too. Your pet here has been extremely worried."

Hang on a second, so shisou actually knew these people?

"Happy's not my pet, he's my nakama!" The pink-haired boy got to his feet, dusting his white Ali Baba pants hastily. Smiling goofily in a way that strongly reminded her of her orange-loving best friend, he raised a hand. "Yo! Looks like everyone made it to Konoha after all."

"We were so worried about you, Natsu!" The blonde with the short skirt interjected, her voice laced with exasperation, and Sakura was forcefully reminded of the times where she had said the same thing in the exact same tone to a certain loudmouth whenever he limped back, injured from yet another reckless quest. "We thought you had wondered off to another ninja village or worse, gotten captured!"

The shirtless guy added, "You really gave us a scare there, idiot." The low baritone of his voice coupled with the slight sarcasm in his tone gave Sakura another sense of déjà vu. With his dark hair, model good looks and stoic attitude, he really could have been a dead ringer for Sasuke- if Sasuke ever chose to walk around Konoha half-naked.

Tsunade clapped her hands. "All right all right, that's enough for now. Yosh, now that we're all here maybe Director Baka would like to give everyone a short briefing on the filming schedule outlined for the next few weeks?"

Sakura wrinkled her nose as she noticed the heart-shapes floating around the pudgy man's head as he drooled over the Godaime's ample bust; these people obviously had no idea as to shisou's real age or rejuvenation jutsu. He cleared his throat. "Before we talk about filming, I just thought it would be a good idea for everyone to get to know each other since you'll all be working closely together over the next few weeks. Natsu," he motioned to the feisty roseate, who had been engaging in a silent battle of glares with his rival. "Natsu, meet Sakura."

Sakura felt herself flush as she felt a dozen pair of eyes sweep over her. A sudden icy feeling of dread began swirling in her insides; the big smirk on her shisou's face coupled with the expectant look that all the mages were giving her were dead giveaways that she wasn't going to like the way things were heading. Looking up, she felt her blush only deepen as she met the intense stare that Natsu was giving her. He gave her a thumbs-up and a wide smile, but there was definitely a more than a hint of embarrassment to it.

Feeling Director Baka gripping her shoulder, she stumbled forwards towards him as he announced, "And Sakura, meet Natsu." Rather mechanically, she raised her hand in return, squeaking out an incomprehensible greeting. Beaming, Director Baka slapped them both on the back, making Sakura jump so hard that she accidentally knocked against the Dragon Slayer, causing him in turn to stumble and trip on a crack in the floor, sending them both crashing down in a crumpled heap.

"Ow." Sakura opened her eyes slowly, and screamed when she found her face only inches from Natsu's own startled, wide-eyed gaze. Pushing herself hastily off his chest, Sakura felt her blush go from pink to cherry-tomato red as she realised that somewhere during the fall, she had somehow ended up straddling the pink-haired mage.

Director Baka peered down at them and sighed, "Well I suppose it's good practice for the coming weeks. Natsu, meet the pink-haired girl of your dreams and Sakura, say hello to your future husband. Congratulations, you're both going to be the stars of my new TV Show, "How I Met Your Kaa-san!"

A/N: Next chapter will probably be up by next week. It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but as always the story grew a mind of its own and refused to be cut down. Hope you spotted and enjoyed the various pop culture references thrown inside! As always, reviews are love.

librastar x