Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own this piece of cra- . . . I mean, fiction. The Twilight series belongs to someone who obviously has no idea how to write a decent story.


When we reached the clearing I turned around slowly, taking in the nearly perfect circular shape as well as the different trees and plants that seemed unwilling to enter the area. It was really quite a beautiful place, well, as beautiful as anything could be in one of the dreariest cities in the world. Staring up at that sunlight peaking through the tops of the outlying trees, I turned a curious glance at Edward who'd stopped moving a few feet away from one of the rays of sunshine. "So," I began, linking my hands together behind my back. "Why'd you bring me out here? You're not planning on killing me and then hiding my body somewhere are you?"

"No, I'm not going to kill you," he said, answering my half-joke with a smile as he moved to join me in the clearing. "I brought you out here so I could show you something. Now that you know I'm a vampire and all, I figured I may as well explain why my family disappears on nice days." I must've given him a look that implied I already knew what he was going to say and he was stupid for even bringing it up because he shook his head and tsked. "Okay, so I'm sure you've heard all those stories about how we vampires burst into flames when we step into the sun, but that's a load of bull. There aren't many ways we can be killed, but I assure you, sunlight isn't one of them."

"So how come you avoid the sun then if it doesn't hurt you?" I asked mildly curious as he slowly stepped into the sunlight. Although to be honest I think the whole 'bursting into flames' thing is pretty cool. Not the fact that the vampire dies mind you, but seriously, it's like spontaneous combustion! Oh, I should probably pay attention, he's talking again.

"Because of this," he replied, sweeping his hands down his body as the sun reflected off his skin.

The clearing suddenly became so quiet you could've heard a pin hitting the soft, damp grass. When I didn't say anything for a few minutes, he took a tentative step towards me. I guess he must've noticed my shoulders were beginning to shake and that I was refusing to look him in the eyes. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked, reaching a hand out towards me tentatively.

My eyes jerked up to his face when I heard his question and I bit my lip as my whole body began to quiver. Nodding my head up and down, I pressed my lips together tightly so I wouldn't release even the slightest sound.

Placing his hand on my shoulder he gave it a comforting squeeze. "But you're shaking," he murmured to me softly. "Are you, are you afraid of me?"

Looking into his sad eyes I wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth. Of course I wasn't scared of him. Unfortunately, in order to do that I'd have to speak and I really didn't trust myself to do that at the moment.

"Please Bella," he pleaded. "Tell me what's wrong. If you're not afraid then what is it? Are you in shock? Do you simply find me too beautiful for words? What's the matter?"

Finally I just couldn't hold it in anymore and I broke down. "HAHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!" I laughed, clutching my sides as my whole body shook. "You . . . hahhaaaahaaaa . . . you, hahaaaahaaahaaa . . . you SPARKLE! Oh my god, that's hilarious!"

He must've backed away from me at some point since I could no longer feel his hand on my arm, but I was too busy laughing at his shininess to even care. "Oh look at me; I'm a big bad vampire who glitters in the sun!" I managed to get out before breaking down into laughter again. "That's so lame!"

I'm fairly certain he probably would've said something in his defense if I'd given him half a chance, but there was no way I was going to let this go. "So how does it feel to know that anytime you step into the sun you look like a drag queen who's obsessed with sparkly makeup? Wait, don't tell me. You actually enjoy this don't you? It gives you a chance to . . . shine. Get it, shine?"

Raising my head, I realized he'd retreated so far up he was almost back in the trees and out of the sunlight. "Wait," I called out. "Don't leave yet! I'm not finished making fun of you and your sparkly-ness!" By now I was laughing so hard I was crying, large tears dripping down my cheeks every time another bout of laughter burst forth.

Between one blink and the next he was gone, vanished into the forest like a child who's gone home to cry to mommy. Okay, so I'd probably hurt his feelings a little bit, big deal. I'm sure he's dealt with this kind of reaction more than once before. I mean, he freaking sparkles for crying out loud! I can't be the only one who's ever found this funny.

As my laughter died down I shook my head in disbelief. A vampire who glitters in the sun, great, what's next, a werewolf (excuse me, shape-shifter) who imprints on his soul-mate no matter how old they are? Or better yet, a half-vampire child who ages to adulthood super fast just so she can stay that age for hundreds of years. Oh, I know, how about a boring, klutzy, high school girl with no personality winding up all crazy powerful. Yeah, can anyone else say unbelievably ridiculous.