Note: CrimsonQueen24 suggested the idea a while back and this has just been sitting on my laptop with the ridiculous title of FEMBASTIAN for a few months... It's about time I get around to posting, ne? Anyhoo~ Here ya go

Warnings: Gender-swap, semi-sexual content

She was so pretty. The Earl's wife was the most gorgeous woman in London; long, pin-straight black hair fell down her back and her flawless porcelain face was highlighted with crimson lipstick. Her ruby eyes were outlined in smoky black kohl and layers of thick black lashes.

She never left the Earl's side. She was as malevolent as the Earl himself with twice the personality; she constantly busied herself with teasing guests and servants and always having a snide comment or reply. Her lips were constantly tugged up by a wicked blood-red smirk; that is, when she wasn't batting her lashes at her husband with the most helplessly adorable puppy-dog face imaginable.

Her seduction and teasing never drew more than a pale flush or irritable fidgeting from the Earl, however; her efforts were often in vain. Constant affections and kisses fell on his mask of indifference. Though she never minded, for it was all a game.

.

"Goodness… what a tiring day." Pins released ebony locks down the woman's bare back. He skin was like marble, and when offset by the black of her hair she looked inhuman.

The Earl sat at the foot of their bed, watching her with interest. "Mh hm."

The woman cocked an eyebrow, peering over her shoulder at him. Crimson eyes flashed pink, pupils contracting. "You must be tired, my lord," she said, sweeping black hair behind her. "Or… am I not good enough for you?" Pretty lips, still painted a shiny red, were tugged up by invisible strings in an infuriatingly flawless smirk.

With a light shrug the Earl leaned back, balancing his weight on his hands. "I'm sure you're more than aware of my preferences by now," he said. "The act is becoming tiring."

"Hmm…" She turned away, walking to the wardrobe and digging around for the nightgowns that were really only there for show. The Earl was sure they didn't even fit her. Nonetheless she selected a long black gown, pulling it on and turning to face her husband.

The Earl cocked an eyebrow, curiously watching as his wife danced over to him; she reached forward to comb her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead. He looked up at her with a single blue eye, peering through his thick dark lashes that challenged even the woman before him. "My lord… You must be exhausted." Her fingers worked to untie the bow at the back of his head, eye path falling away from his face. The earl blinked, newly revealed violet eye adjusting to the light.

"You-"

He wasn't allowed to finish, cut off by a thin gloved finger pressed to his lips. He fell silent, adjusting himself as the woman placed herself in his lap, knees resting on either side of his hips. She pressed her finger to his lips, and he bit down on the tip of the glove. She smirked. "I quite like this, my lord," she said, sliding her hand from the glove. "Seeing you reduced to this… It's exciting." She examined the inky black design on the back of her hand, checking for chips in her flawless black nails.

The Earl sighed, turning his head up to look at the woman. "I've had enough of this façade."

"Ah… But I haven't," the woman insisted matter-of-factly, tapping his nose with her finger before drawing off her other glove. "And you can't deny a lady, can you? No proper noble can…" A pair of slim arms wrapped around the Earl's neck and fingers tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck, plump breasts pressed against his chest. The Earl's cheeks were fading to pink; the pale rosy color turned to red when a path of kisses lined his collar bone, leaving a smear of crimson lipstick.

"S-Seriously," the Earl grumbled. "Sebastian-"

"Scarlet," she lightly corrected.

"Sebastian!"

"Yes, my lord?"

The Earl adjusted, pinning the woman to the bed. "You know very well what I want."

The woman smiled, leg hooking around his waist. "My lord, this is quite unbecoming… Are you, perhaps, threatened by this female form?"

"Of course not," the Earl insisted. "I just have no interest in it is all."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Well, you're a man, aren't you?"

The Earl huffed, glaring down at the woman.

"Come on, now… Aren't you going to prove me wrong?"

He was silent.

"…I know," she said softly, fingers dancing along his spine, "that you love to be right."

The Earl rolled his eyes. He supposed he wouldn't be getting his way tonight. Nonetheless he leaned down to kiss the corner of her mouth, displeased by the alien feeling of her body. Too curvy and lumpy. This body didn't quite fit against him the way it was supposed to. The feeling of her slim, soft arms and legs wrapped around him were like shackles, uncomfortable and weighted.

The woman turned her head to kiss him fully, staining his pale lips red. When she bit his lips it was as if she thought the lipstick would hide the blood – however when you're teeth are as sharp as hers it's hard to make a nibble such as she attempted sneaky or pleasurable in any way. The Earl squeaked in irritation, but the teeth on his lip kept him from pulling away in fear of it being injured further.

He tried to make himself comfortable around the mound of her chest but it just wasn't working. It was too odd.

The Earl pried himself free of her grip, reaching up to tuck his bangs away from his face. "I think I should go to sleep," he grumbled, mismatched eyes hidden behind paper-thin lids.

The woman huffed in disappointment, sitting up. "Goodness… There's no need to get so upset, my lord." Even as she spoke her voice deepened, fading from the sound of tinkling bells to a deep, velvety rumble, hair retreating into her head and all angles sharpening. The Earl opened his eyes to see his butler before him, the nightgown hanging awkwardly around his body and his face still stained with make-up. He looked silly – they both knew it."

"It's not as if we can have any fun now, anyway," the butler complained. "I really must clean myself up…"

The Earl rolled his eyes. "Goodness, Sebastian, must you always be so particular."

Cocking a slim black eyebrow the butler eyed the earl curiously. "Perhaps you should join me," he said, reaching to wipe lipstick off of the earl's collar bone. With a soft huff and a faint smile, the earl leaned forward to kiss the butler's cheek, now devoid of any feminine pinkness.

The butler wrapped his arms around the earl's waist, pulling him close. "What do you think, my lord? I can run us a bath like I used to when you were little.

The earl sighed, nodding. "I suppose," he said. With a light huff he wiggled away from the other's grip. The butler followed, standing beside him and lacing their fingers together. The earl, now pink in the face, looked up at him. "I love you… Sebastian."

"As do I, my lord," the butler said. "Now let's make the best of this time before I have to change back, mh?"