Two updates within twelve hours! I had forgotten I would be out of town tonight, so I decided to post early. The next chapter will go up tomorrow night.

Thanks to those of you who are reviewing! It means a lot!

Thanks to my beta: Hannah Taylor1. Her work is great, so go check it out.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

XOXO

Elena sighed and leaned her head back against the couch, tossing aside the book Damon had given her to look through. "Damon, there's nothing in here about vampire transition blood hallucinations. I'm telling you… it was just some weird guilt thing."

He looked up from his own book and narrowed his eyes at her. "Maybe."

"Why are you so sure it's something else?"

"I'm not." He pressed his lips together. "But if there's something wrong with you, I'd like to fix it before it gets out of hand. I've had enough of your near-death, actual-death experiences to last me a life time."

Smiling, she stood up and crossed to the arm chair he currently occupied and perched facing him on the arm. "It's nothing. I haven't had one since this morning in the clearing and I'm feeling better than I have in weeks. Honest."

Sighing, he closed his book and shifted, giving himself room to run his hand over her back. "Then maybe that's all it was. If anyone was going to have a completely outlandish guilt reaction, it would be you."

"Hey," She nudged his knee with her foot. "I'm not sure it's possible to overreact to my life for the past few weeks. Well…" She paused, "Years, actually. The past three years."

"I guess you've earned a few hallucinations." He smirked up at her as his hand continued to track patterns on her back. "If you do have another one…"

"I'll tell you as soon as it happens." She promised.

"As soon as what happens?" Stefan suddenly appeared in the doorway, scanning the scene in front of him before he crossed to pour himself a glass of bourbon.

Immediately, Damon's hand left her back and Elena felt herself shift away from him.

"Stefan," She stood up, crossing her arms over her chest. "I didn't hear from you all day… where have you been?"

He turned and looked at her. "You'll tell Damon as soon as what happens?"

"Uh…" She quickly shot a glance in Damon's direction, "I've been having some… hallucinations. But I haven't had one in hours and I was just telling Damon that I would let him know if it happened again."

Stefan seemed to think about this for a second. "And when were you going to tell me? When it happened again? Or maybe when it happened the first time?"

Damon stood up and slowly moved just slightly ahead of Elena, not blocking her but positioning himself between her and Stefan. "New house rule. No interrogations in the parlor."

"I'm just asking a question, Damon." Stefan spoke tightly, forcing his tone into an imitation of casualness. "I was just wondering when Elena was going to let me in on the latest news in her life."

"Stefan, it's not like that." Elena stepped forward, unwittingly putting herself closer to Damon. "I wasn't hiding it from you. I just… well, we left things in a bad place last night and still have no idea why you did half the things you did yesterday or why you would work with Klaus, especially without telling me or…"

"I asked you to trust me, Elena." Stefan interrupted, tossing the rest of his bourbon down and setting the glass aside.

Elena frowned, shaking her head. "That's not fair, Stefan. You can't ask me to blindly trust you and then get mad at me for not telling you about something. Either we're open and honest with each other or we're not…"

"What is it about Damon that makes you go to him every time you have a problem?" Stefan demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. "How soon after your first hallucination did you call him? Weren't you angry with him too?"

"No…" She shook her head then stopped. "I mean, yes. I was but I wasn't really mad at him. I begged him to let me go after Connor. It wasn't his fault and he was honest with me about why he finally told me to go after Connor. That's not the point…"

"How soon?" Stefan shrugged, looking between Damon and Elena. "How soon did you call Damon after your first hallucination?"

"Stefan…" Elena took another step forward, feeling the tension in Damon's body radiating as she passed him. "Can we not do this? Let's just go somewhere and talk about this…"

"Without Damon?" Stefan tilted his head. "But then you'll just have to call him afterward and tell him all about it. This way, he'll get to hear it firsthand."

"Enough." Damon spoke up, his voice tight with anger. "Back off, brother."

"What? I don't get to know why my girlfriend brings all her real problems to you? That's all I'm asking for, Damon. She apparently trusts you a lot more than she trusts me these days."

"And whose fault is that?" Damon snarled.

"Stop." Elena reached out to Damon, gently pressing his arm to get him to stand down. He relaxed minimally under her touch. "Stefan, you have to understand that this is not easy for me. Every day I have to convince myself to keep going all over again. I'm scared and anxious and angry all the time. I can't figure out how I'm supposed to act or feel or what part of me is still real and what part is just the vampire part of me…?

"Do you think I don't get that?"

"I don't know!" Elena gestured helplessly. "I feel like… I don't know, Stefan… I feel like you don't want me to be struggling. I feel this pressure to do this right for you but I don't know how. I just know that every time I start to struggle you start to shut down and I can't handle it! You can't pressure me into just… being good at this."

"I'm not trying to." Stefan dragged his hand over his hair. "I don't even know where that's coming from."

"It's been this way from the beginning…" She pleaded with him to understand. "And I was all for it then. I was. The animal blood and the lifestyle you wanted me to have. But… it's not working, Stefan. I couldn't keep the blood down and you wanted me to be able to so badly that I couldn't stand to tell you. I have to keep blood from the vein in my system and you can't help me learn how to do that…"

"And the hallucinations?" Stefan demanded, "Why couldn't I help with that?"

"I don't know." Elena pressed her hand to her forehead, closing her eyes. "I don't know where we stand right now, Stefan. Or what you're doing with Klaus." She gestured helplessly, "Why would you ever team up with him again? Do you not remember what happened last year? I don't know who you are when you're working with him and it scares me. I don't feel like I can… trust you."

Stefan nodded, looking at the ground. "So what you're saying is that things have changed. I don't get you, I can't be there for you right now, and you're not sure you can trust me."

"Stefan…" Elena shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I'm not saying…"

"No, you are saying it, Elena. And you're saying that Damon can give you all of those things. He understands you… he can be there for you… and you can trust him. Right?"

"Stefan..."

He ignored her. "Just like it's Damon's blood in your veins."

"Enough." Damon's voice was arctic. "I don't care what you think is going on. You don't get to badger her."

Stefan shook his head. "I'm just telling it how it is, Damon. Aren't you the one who wants her to face reality?"

Clenching his jaw, Damon stared his brother down, "Your method leaves a lot to be desired."

Turning away, Stefan looked back at Elena. "Either you trust me and you love me and you want to be with me or you don't. It's that simple."

"Stefan…"

"Don't keep pretending, Elena." Stefan shook his head. "Don't think I don't see the way you look at him, or the way you find excuses to touch him."

Elena looked down at the ground, completely at a loss, humiliated and relieved all at once.

"He's the one you call." Stefan gestured toward a stunned Damon. "It's not me anymore. It hasn't been me for a while."

She shook her head. "Stefan…"

"Just be honest with both of us." Stefan moved toward her. "If I'm wrong, if you don't have feelings for him, if you want to be with me… all you have to do is say so right now. I'll take you at your word, Elena. Just say it."

Squeezing her eyes shut, she let her tears slip down her cheeks. The silence in the room was deafening, drawing out indefinitely. She tried to find the right words to say… to tell the man she'd promised eternity to that she still loved him. But even in the intensity of this moment with Stefan, all she stood there and thought about was what Damon might be thinking, how he was feeling as he watched her unable to give Stefan the answer he wanted.

"That's what I thought." Stefan spoke softly. "We can't do this anymore, Elena. It's not fair to any of us, and it's especially not fair to me."

She nodded, giving up. "I know. I'm sorry…"

"Me too." Stefan glanced toward a rigid Damon. What he said next made no sense to Elena, but Damon seemed to understand. "I'm still looking for it. And I'm not going anywhere."

Damon nodded stiffly and Stefan dragged a hand over his hair.

"Goodbye Elena." He spoke softly and then, in rush of air, he was gone. The front door opened and slammed behind him, the sound rattling through the house and breaking up the heavy silence between Elena and Damon.

The moment hung, becoming almost unbearable until Damon shattered it.

"So… that was awkward."

A laugh somehow escaped Elena and she immediately clamped down her lips, still staring at the floor. Clearing her throat, she managed. "Yeah… I'm sorry you had to be here for that. I'm a little sorry I had to be here for that."

He paused, then asked. "Are you okay?"

"Actually… yes." She finally got the courage to look up and meet his eyes. "I'm sad that things ended that way, but I'm… fine. Too fine." Shaking her head, she let out a sigh. "I think I'm too fine."

"Too fine?"

"I'm not even crying." She pressed her hand to her forehead. "How is this the one thing that hasn't made me cry since I became a vampire? Last week I cried when I saw a lost dog poster…"

"Seriously?" Damon moved toward her. "That's… embarrassing."

She rolled her eyes at him. "This is when you want to make fun of me?"

"No." He grew suddenly, alarmingly serious. "I want to ask you about everything Stefan just said. What I'm doing instead is deflecting through pointless humor. It's kind of my thing."

"Damon…" Elena sucked in a breath ,watching him get closer and closer. "Don't."

"You keep saying that…" He tilted his head, studying her. "At the risk of being repetitive… why not?"

"Because." Her hand shook as she reached to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Stefan and I just broke up. It's not right to… start something with you five minutes later, Damon."

Carefully, he closed the distance between them, running his hands over her arms. "Why didn't you tell Stefan you didn't have feelings for me? It would have been easy… one sentence. All of the rest of his little speech would have been avoided."

Staring up at him, she swallowed hard. "You know why."

"Do you have feelings for me, Elena?" Their fingers linked together and he looked down at their joined hands. "I need to know…"

"Yes," She whispered her confession after a long moment of hesitation. She simply didn't have the energy or the desire to deny it anymore. "You could… say that."

Intensity poured off of him as he met her eyes again. "What kind of feelings?"

"Every kind. All the time."

He let out a strangled laugh and the breath he'd been holding. "Elena… now would be a great time to be really, really specific."

She nodded. "Right. Sorry." Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him, meeting his eye and telling herself to just go for it. With a small smile, she told him, "I love you, Damon. I'm… in love with you."

For a long moment he just stared at her, waiting for… something. Finally, he nodded and dropped her hands, taking a step back. "Okay." He nodded, adjusting his jacket over his shoulders. "You love me. That's what I wanted to know..." Turning around, he ran his hands over his hair, keeping his back to her.

Stunned at his reaction, she just stood there, watching him, wondering what in the world followed a reaction like that.

Then without warning, he spun around and took her face in both his hands, pulling her against him. His mouth descended on hers for a hot but tender kiss that left her weak in the knees as she clung to him. She recovered from the surprise quickly and wrapped her arms around his neck, sinking into the kiss, matching his passion.

One of his hands slipped back into her hair, tilting her head up to allow him better access to the depths of her mouth. Their tongues dueled for control of the kiss, but she let him win when he slid his tongue over her bottom lip, sucking on it at the same. Sighing his name, she urged him on, rewarding each thrust of his tongue with an appreciative, throaty hum.

Eventually, the kiss slowed and they broke apart, both gasping for air their bodies didn't need.

"I just want to make sure you noticed…" Damon leaned his forehead against hers as their eyes locked, "That I made an incredible effort to take that little confession in stride and give you time and space to think things out. Just for the record."

She smiled, her hands travelling over his face, mapping its perfect contours. "You had very little success."

"But the effort was there... somewhere." He kissed her again, lingering over her lips. "Elena…God, I love you, too." A husky laugh escaped him, "In case you were worried I didn't feel the same way…"

Closing her eyes, she leaned in and wrapped her arms around his neck. "This feels right, Damon. You and me."

He ran his hand over her back, holding her close. "That's what I've been saying…" He teased her lightly, burying his face in her hair.

"How can it feel so right when it seems like it should be wrong to break up with Stefan and then two minutes later be kissing you?" Elena pulled back, looking up at him sadly. "How do we deal with what's between us right now?"

Sighing, he stroked the back of his fingers down her cheek. "The timing is definitely… awkward. Believe it or not, I don't like the fact that my brother just stormed out of her with a broken heart any better than you do. But you know what…" He tilted his head, his eyes on hers. "I'd rather have awkward or flat out horrible timing than keep dancing around the truth. Because the truth is that I am so tired of pretending I can live without you, Elena. So I say… whatever the price is, it's worth it. At least to me."

Biting her lip, she leaned in and kissed him. "It's worth it to me too."

He smiled, holding her close. "It is?"

"Yes," She brushed his hair away from his forehead before threading her fingers through the long strands in the back. "I'm tired of making up excuses for why you're the one I think of, or the one I call, or the one I miss. I just… I just want to move on with this… life, if that's what this is. And I know I want to do that with you, Damon."

Emotions that he was trying to hold back showed all over his face as he cupped her cheek and drew her in, bringing her into another kiss. She closed her eyes and got lost in him, holding him as close as she could. She trailed the hand that was buried in his hair down his neck and over his shoulder before moving it up to sink back into his silky, black hair.

But her fingers touched only skin. Only half aware, she searched for Damon's hair, running her fingers instead over a smooth scalp.

Her eyes flew open and she gasped in shock as she saw Connor standing in front of her, with Damon nowhere to be seen. Blood was caked on Connor's neck where she had bitten him and he smiled eerily at her.

"He doesn't really love you, Elena. He might have killed a lot of people, but even he doesn't enjoy killing as much as you loved killing me. One day he'll hate you, just like Stefan and Bonnie and Jeremy will hate you for becoming this monster."

"No!" She shouted, launching herself at Connor, pushing him down to the ground. "Go away. Get out of here! Leave me alone!"

"Elena!" Damon's voice seemed to come from nowhere. She couldn't see him anywhere in the room. "Elena, what's happening?"

Blood splattered on the far wall and Elena squeezed her eyes shut, shouting for Damon. "Damon! Damon, help me… please, help me. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

XOXO

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