Taking a determined breath and gripping the steering wheel more tightly, Merlin glanced over to the uniformed man sitting beside him.

Arthur.

The love of his life, finally back home and back into his world after seven months in Afghanistan. After seven months of cold bed sheets, hurried phone calls at 2am and waking up to each morning alone...always alone. This was their second time doing this and knowing what to expect had not made it ache any less.

Merlin blinked and stared at the road ahead, consciously keeping his breaths calm, still not fully comprehending that his husband was actually sitting in the car beside him. Arthur was real. This was real. This was...Merlin could reach out and touch his face if he wanted. He could smell the sweat and musk in Arthur's uniform, the foreign dust on his seabags piled up in the backseat, the familiar heat radiating off his skin. Real.

They sat in silence for several minutes, both lost in their thoughts. It was a stark contrast to the chaotic and joyous homecoming of Arthur's unit only one hour ago, where Merlin had thrown himself into Arthur's arms while their friends cat-called and snapped pictures.

Arthur laid a warm hand on Merlin's thigh and offered a reassuring smile, his blue eyes twinkling in the bright morning light. Merlin shakily returned the smile and swallowed the thickness in his throat as he parked their Jeep in the driveway. They had only lived in this house for a year, having moved to the area on Arthur's military orders. Since Arthur had joined up five years ago at age 22, Merlin quickly learned that a home was not made of four walls and roof, but of golden skin, smiling blue eyes and strong hands that could comfort, claim and kill when needed. Arthur was his home; this house, and any house when it came down to it, was simply where they kept their stuff.

Arthur grabbed his overstuffed bags out of the back seat and followed Merlin to the front door. The key scraped lightly against the lock as Merlin tried to calm the shaking in his hand and the pounding in his chest. Entering the foyer, Arthur slowly let his bags slide off his broad shoulders and stood, calmly taking in his surroundings. Merlin stood awkwardly behind him, watching Arthur's gaze as it traveled over their familiar furniture, over the windows spilling sunlight onto hardwood floors, over pictures on the walls. Over Merlin.

Merlin's breath hitched as Arthur held his gaze, the eyes full of awe and mild disbelief pinning him where he stood. This was real he was real they were real they were-

"Merlin," Arthur breathed, his voice cracking.

Merlin lunged.

The world stopped turning as he threw his arms around Arthur's neck and pulled him in, their mouths colliding in a bruising kiss full of desperation and need and whimpers that couldn't be controlled. Merlin bracketed Arthur's face with his hands and poured everything into their kiss. The endless days of loneliness, the worry, the emptiness.

He gave Arthur all of it and Arthur took it all in, clutching Merlin tight against his chest like a precious possession that might be taken away at any moment. With one arm wrapped tightly around Merlin's waist and snaking one hand up through his dark hair, Arthur pulled back just enough to meet Merlin's eyes with his own. Blue stared into blue, half-lidded and pupils blown, their panting breaths blowing against each other's lips.

Arthur licked his lips and Merlin inhaled sharply, his hands gripped tightly onto Arthur's shoulders. "Bed," Arthur croaked, his voice raw. Merlin nodded quickly and grabbed Arthur's hand, pulling him quickly down the hall and into their bedroom.

As soon as they were inside Merlin whirled on Arthur and began unbuttoning the camouflaged blouse of his uniform, shaky hands too rough on carefully sewn buttons, letting go only to allow Arthur to yank Merlin's shirt over his head. Merlin had barely managed to pull the blouse off Arthur's shoulders and down his arms when Arthur threw the thick fabric on the floor and fell to his knees. He grabbed Merlin's hips and buried his face in his stomach, inhaling loudly and nuzzling his face through the dark trail of hair leading below Merlin's jeans, tasting and breathing Merlin in. He mouthed at Merlin's hipbones, licking at the skin and leaving a trail of warm breath and moisture across Merlin's stomach.

Arthur looked up at Merlin, his eyes pleading, and swallowed roughly. "I didn't know if I'd ever get the chance to do this again," he murmured, and Merlin bent down to pull Arthur back up so they were eye-to-eye.

Tenderly running his hands down Arthur's sides, Merlin pulled Arthur's undershirt over his head and dazedly took in the broad chest he had dreamed about so often over the past seven months. Arthur was slightly more muscled than he remembered, and leaner. Arthur had mentioned over Skype that he worked out whenever he had down time and it was noticeable in the firmness of his chest and the more prominent lines of his abs.

Merlin ran his hands down Arthur's chest and over his stomach, around his waist and over his back, learning his way again over a body more dear to him than his own. A body that had returned to him strong, warm and alive- not broken, cold and still inside a flag-covered crate. The gratitude burned white-hot through his heart.

Merlin couldn't repress his relieved smile and Arthur gathered him into his arms, dropping kisses on collar bones, shoulders, up a pale expanse of neck and over his jawline. Reverent. Careful. Like if he kissed too hard Merlin might break. The sensations beat their way into Merlin's skin and he had to close his eyes against the onslaught of arousal and emotion humming in his veins.

Merlin buried a hand in Arthur's short hair and ran another over every inch of skin he could reach, his breathing becoming labored as Arthur's lips finally found his again. They melted into each other and deepened the kiss, tongues exploring and claiming, hips shifting. Not breaking the kiss, Arthur reached between them and palmed Merlin's erection through his jeans, groaning like the sound was torn from the very core of him. The sound flipped a switch in Merlin and suddenly belts were torn open by trembling hands and fabric was shoved down and away, away, away, until they stood naked and panting into each others' mouths, hands gripping flesh and nails raking down spines.

Arthur walked them backwards to the bed, tumbling down and pulling Merlin on top of him. Merlin immediately straddled Arthur's hips and clenched his thighs, locking Arthur into place so he couldn't leave him again. Bracing his hands on Arthur's shoulders, he leaned down to claim Arthur's mouth with his own and pour his love and loneliness and want into the man who made it all, every last damn bit of it, worth it. Arthur swallowed his whimpers and held Merlin tightly against him, his hands spread possessively on Merlin's back and smoothing down to knead Merlin's arse. Their cocks strained against each other, smearing precome, and Arthur gently pumped his hips upwards in an instinctual need.

Merlin gasped and broke their kiss, locking hooded eyes with Arthur's. "I need you inside me. Oh fuck, Arthur."

Arthur rolled them over like Merlin weighed nothing and immediately ground his hips down into Merlin's, their cocks trapped and leaking between their bellies. Arthur gulped and stared at Merlin like he was a revelation. Merlin reached up and took his face in his hands, his thumb tracing Arthur's cheekbone, both of their mouths slack as they rhythmically pressed against each other.

Arthur ghosted a hand down Merlin's neck and chest before rolling to the side and grabbing lube out of their nightstand, squirting a large dollop onto his fingers. Covering Merlin's body with his own once again, he nudged Merlin's legs open until they were spread wide and cradling Arthur between them. His eyes glazed over as he pressed two fingers deep inside Merlin, too desperate to be inside his husband to go slowly. Merlin arched off the bed and moaned, eyes falling shut and mouth falling open in a soundless cry. Arthur gripped a hand over Merlin's shoulder for leverage as he pumped his hand against Merlin's opening, pressing and twisting fingers into the searing heat.

Merlin forced his eyes open and licked his lips, taking in Arthur's wrecked appearance. "Enough," he rasped. "Take me, Arthur, please. Please. I need to feel you." Arthur withdrew his fingers and slicked up his cock which was hard to bursting, the head flushed a deep purple and veins protruding under velvet tight skin. Pressing the swollen head against Merlin's opening, he held Merlin's gaze and smiled softly. "I love you," he panted, and pressed in.

Merlin had felt incredible pleasure over the course of his life, but nothing could compare to the feeling of Arthur's cock breaching him for the first time in over half a year, stretching him open in a relentless and perfect burn. It hurt. It had been so long and Arthur was so hard and thick inside his body. Merlin keened and clenched Arthur's shoulders as Arthur slowly pressed deeper inside, Arthur's hand wrapped around Merlin's thigh and holding it up against his waist, his other hand pressed into the mattress by Merlin's head. They both moaned loudly as he bottomed out. Merlin wrapped his legs around Arthur's waist and moved his hands up to link behind Arthur's neck, holding him as close he could while Arthur lay still above him.

They pressed their foreheads together and breathed each other in, trying to hold onto the moment as tightly as they held each other. Then Arthur began to move. Slow, steady thrusts. Merlin moaned like a dying man as the burn gave way to pure, liquid pleasure and his body grew pliant under Arthur. His cock dribbled precome and he felt the hot flush of arousal spreading throughout his body like a searing fire, consuming all thoughts, memories and knowledge except Arthur above him, flushed and sweating, thrusting slowly and deeply into him.

"I'm not gonna last," Arthur groaned against his lips, dipping his tongue inside briefly. "You feel so fucking good, baby. So tight. God I missed you."

Merlin kissed him and smiled, his eyes crinkling even as they filled with tears without his permission. He couldn't contain the emotion pounding against his heart any longer and he bit his lip to control its trembling. Arthur slowed his thrusts and stared at Merlin as tears ran down his lover's face. He moved his hands to bracket Merlin's head and kissed the tears away as they fell, Merlin breathing heavily and his face constricting.

Merlin let out a broken sob and Arthur pressed his hands beneath Merlin's back, his arms immediately winding around to hold Merlin in a tight embrace and burying his face in Merlin's neck. You have me. Sweetheart, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.

Merlin was openly crying now and returned the embrace while his heart was simultaneously broken and made whole again. He arched his hips up to meet Arthur's as much for reassurance as pleasure.

"I was so scared," he whispered against Arthur's cheek. "Every time I watched the news, every time you didn't call when you said you would. I always...I didn't know. I never knew if you were okay."

Arthur gently pressed himself up so he could see Merlin's face, see his baby falling apart beneath him. He stroked Merlin's sweat-damp hair off his forehead and covered his face with feather-light kisses.

"I...missed you...so much. Fuck," Merlin choked out, squeezing his eyes closed and shaking his head minutely.

Arthur blinked back his own tears and smiled down at Merlin, caressing his cheekbone and running his thumb along Merlin's swollen lips. "Merlin, it's okay. I'm okay. God, baby. You were the only thing keeping me sane out there. I love you so fucking much, sweetheart. Listen to me- I will never leave you."

Merlin sniffled but his tears were drying as he gazed up at Arthur like he was the sun and the moon and the stars all wrapped up in one golden, blue-eyed package.

"You are mine, Merlin," Arthur murmured, kissing Merlin's nose and cupping the nape of his neck. "You are my mate, the reason I fight, the reason I stayed alive. You are...fuck, baby, you are everything. No one, especially not some cowardly piece of shit terrorist will take me away from you. I will never, ever leave you," he said firmly, willing Merlin to believe him.

Merlin blinked and allowed the words to wash over him, calming his racing heart even though he knew it was a promise Arthur might one day break, no matter how much he wished to keep it. He threaded his fingers through Arthur's hair and nodded, pulling him down to press their lips together while his hips rolled encouragingly against Arthur's.

Arthur immediately rocked back, his thrusts gradually picking up speed and force until Merlin was crying out and grabbing Arthur's arse, urging him in faster, deeper, harder. Arthur reached down between their bodies and wrapped his hand around Merlin's cock, pulling it in time with his thrusts. Merlin looked down at the sight, at the muscles straining in Arthur's forearm with every tight stroke. He threw his head back and let out gutteral moan that Arthur could feel reverberating through his own body.

Arthur grabbed Merlin by a hip and altered his angle so he was hitting Merlin's prostate with every forceful thrust. Merlin's eyes flew open and Arthur could feel his body begin to tighten around him.

"Arthur, I'm gonna-oh god Arthur."

Merlin's entire body seized up and his back arched off the mattress, his fingers digging into Arthur's shoulder blades as thick ropes up come spurted onto his belly and chest. His mouth was slack and open in a silent cry, the pleasure rendering him incapable of making a sound beyond a pained grunt. Arthur rocked him through it, felt Merlin's walls milking him as he sucked open-mouthed kisses on Merlin's straining neck. He raised his head and licked off the come that had dribbled onto his hand, immediately leaning down to fuck the taste into Merlin's mouth with his tongue.

As Merlin came down from his high and melted against Arthur's body, Arthur slammed his hips into Merlin. "That's it baby," Merlin crooned, his voice rough and fucked out. "Claim me, make me yours. Please, Arthur, make me yours again."

Merlin's husky voice pushed Arthur over the edge. He slammed his hips into Merlin with a primal cry and proceeded to grind up and in, instinctually spurting his come as deep inside his lover as it could go. Merlin wrapped his arms and legs around him and held him through it, taking it all, murmuring words of love and desire and longing as Arthur pumped his hips and trembled against him.

Arthur went limp and sagged onto Merlin, pressing him into their mattress. Merlin could feel Arthur's cock twitch slightly with the aftershocks of his orgasm, Merlin's hole holding him inside, safe and warm, as he grew soft. The room was quiet except for their heavy breaths that grew calmer with each passing minute.

"Welcome home," Merlin whispered into Arthur's temple. Arthur buried his face further into Merlin's neck and exhaled, shifting his hips minutely so his softened cock slipped out of Merlin.

Eventually Arthur could feel Merlin shifting beneath him and he rolled to the side, scooping Merlin into his arms and pulling him close so Merlin's head rested on his shoulder and his arm stretched across Arthur's waist. As the sweat cooled on their skin Merlin shivered, prompting Arthur to pull down the damp blankets from under them and resettle them under a soft cotton sheet.

They lay in silence for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts and each other's body heat.

Lifting his head, Merlin studied Arthur's face. Studied the jawline he's kissed his way across so many times over the years. The light brown eyelashes that fanned across his cheeks. The pouty red lips that demanded to be kissed. A freckle here. A crease there. So many little details, each one as precious and necessary as the last.

Arthur felt Merlin's gaze on him and open his eyes, looking fondly and teasingly at his husband.

"See anything you like?" he said softly, his mouth quirking at the corners.

Merlin arched an eyebrow. "Possibly. I think you'll do."

Arthur rolled his eyes and readjusted his hold on Merlin, running his hand lightly over a pale expanse of back, over a shoulder and neck peppered with light red marks. Fingers trailed feather-light over Merlin's ear, making Merlin shiver. Merlin ran his hand through the soft hair on Arthur's chest and over collar bones and that never failed to make him weak in the knees. He pressed a reverent kiss onto Arthur's chest.

"You know," he said. "It's probably going to take me a while to realize you're actually here. So if I touch you all the time or stare at you like a creeper, just know that I'm probably trying to convince myself you're not a hallucination."

Arthur kissed Merlin lightly and settled his head back onto the pillow, running a hand through his already ruffled hair. He stared at the ceiling and swallowed.

"I don't mind. To be honest I'll probably be doing the same. Part of me feels like I'm dreaming...like I'll wake up and be right back in that tin."

Arthur stroked the back of Merlin's neck then twisted to the side so they were facing each other, eye to eye. They shifted closer to each other until their faces were nearly touching and their legs tangled together beneath the sheet. Merlin draped one arm around Arthur's shoulder and Arthur rested his hand on Merlin's neck, gently cupping his jaw. Fingers stroked and blue eyes gazed. Here, they were untouchable.

"Merlin," Arthur began in a low tone. "I had to...I had to do a lot of things I didn't want to do. Things that aren't me. Some of them I'll be able to tell you about one day, some of them..." he trailed off, looking lost.

Merlin smoothed his hand through Arthur's hair and rested it against Arthur's neck so they were mirror images of each other. His heart broke for his husband. His beautiful, brave, arrogant prat of a husband that had to end lives with the same hands that made Merlin gasp with pleasure. He blinked and forced his voice to remain steady.

"I understand, Arthur. I don't know what you went through over there and I'll likely never know, but...I understand. You tell me things when you're ready. There's no rush. I know I won't be much help since I've never experienced what you have but I- I want to listen."

Arthur pulled Merlin's hand from his neck and curled the fingers over his, pressing kisses across Merlin's knuckles. Merlin's breath hitched at the sight.

"You," Arthur murmured between kisses, "are more help than you could ever know. When I tell you you're everything to me, that's not just pillow talk. I'm serious. You being there for me, whether in person or just writing emails or talking on the phone or whatever- it's everything to me. I could not do what I do without you by my side. Merlin..."

Arthur's voice trailed off and Merlin surged forward, capturing Arthur's mouth in a languid kiss full of tongue and spit and a longing that could never be quenched. He pressed his thumb to Arthur's cheekbone and tried to pour all his love and devotion into the kiss. He hooked a leg over Arthur's thighs and pressed closer until every inch of their skin was touching.

This. This is what made it all worth it. All the lonely nights. All the fear and frustration. One kiss from Arthur's mouth, one minute of his hot embrace made it all dwindle down into nothingness.

Arthur pulled back to gaze at Merlin, his eyes blown wide with renewed arousal and his breath coming in puffs against Merlin's face. Merlin could feel Arthur's erection resting against his own but Arthur seemed content to lie in Merlin's arms, his blue eyes taking in Merlin's face like it was the last time he'd see it. His gaze turned indulgent and tender, his face breaking out into a slow, lazy smile.

Merlin couldn't help but smile back, the joy and relief pounding through him with every beat of his heart.

"And I ask you friend," Arthur sang quietly, making Merlin smile even wider. "What's a fella to do...'cause his hair was black and his eyes were blue..."

Merlin puffed out a laugh and rolled over onto Arthur, their legs intertwining and hands grabbing and lips kissing teeth because they couldn't quite stop smiling.

He knew the coming months wouldn't be easy. Not always. There would be nights spent awake with Arthur because of the nightmares, holding him close on the couch while they watched trash tv at 3am. There would be arguments over stupid little things because they had grown so used to living apart and had to readjust to being with each other all the time. There would be silences, because some memories hurt so deeply they cannot be expressed with words.

But there would also be this. Entire nights wrapped up in each other's arms, over, under, inside each other's bodies. Relearning every muscle, every scar, every ticklish spot. Whispered conversations in the dark. Fingers interlacing under blankets. Hands and tongues exploring, probing, claiming. The wet sound of sweat-slick skin on skin. Claiming each other again and again, kissing promises into each other's flesh.

And now as Merlin straddled his husband and drowned in those sparkling blue eyes growing hazy with lust, he knew they would be okay.

Arthur was home. They both were.