Chapter 5: Delirium

(A request by SakuraYuri89. Sorry for the loooong wait! Enjoy the chapter! Love, Spunky)

Byakuya woke to find himself alone in the teahouse. Still wrapped warmly in blankets permeated with his and Ichigo's mingled scents and resonating inside with the younger man's essence. His heart fluttered fitfully and he felt an electric twinge in his belly, remembering the suddenness and intense passion of their unexpected coupling.

I shouldn't take it to mean too much. Ichigo is a young man, and he does not even know if what he feels for me is honest passion. In many ways, he is still defining himself. I, on the other hand, know what I felt in joining with him.

He gazed out of the teahouse at the wildly waving sakura trees and spinning petal blades.

It has been building up inside us for a long time, hasn't it? This attraction...this deep connection. So often, Ichigo and I have our hearts in the same place. It isn't obvious on the surface sometimes, because pride and obedience to the laws of the clans inhibits me from expressing it, but, yes, we very often want the same things. It is just that I am not allowed to express it openly. So...how many times, now, have I depended on Ichigo to play out what I would like to do if I wasn't held back?

Is that why we resonate so strongly? Because Ichigo embodies the essence of my own heart?

Byakuya's eyes slid shut, and he focused deeply on the sounds coming into the teahouse from outside...the heavy rushing and violent hiss of thousands upon thousands of sharp blades assaulting everything in their path.

This inner world...this place...is my heart, he mused, It used to be a quiet and peaceful place, or so I thought. Yes, it was more a forced calm that I learned to impose on it. Maybe the truth is that a very, very long time ago, it was calm and peaceful. Long ago, when my father was alive, and we, together with Grandfather, really felt like family. I could easily accept my role as heir, while gently guided by those others. It wasn't until my father's death that I felt the inner storm begin.

He heard the softer, wilder keening of the wind through the trees outside and remembered.

Yes, this is the sound my heart made when each person I loved was lost.

Soujun.

Yoruichi.

Hisana.

And finally, with his departure for the royal realm, Ginrei.

My heart raged out of control and made this sound before I forced calm and quiet back over it and moved forward. But even as I moved on, those pent up feelings raged somewhere, in some hidden corner of this place. And when the quincies came and I was struck down, it loosed the pent up emotions of all of those losses at once. Yes, to have lost those I loved, and then to have failed in the protection of the people and place I love most, all that was left of my heart was thrown into chaos, and this...this storm is the result of that.

But I will not lie to myself anymore. I will not simply force down the emotions and use my will to cover the pain. I was cut...hurt...torn apart, and the howl of the wind outside is my own voice, crying out in frustration at what I have become. The petals that rage, out of control are my own clenched hands beating against the walls of my failures, trying to free myself again.

If I do not accept my pain, my grief and my losses, I will be consumed by them. If I do not accept my shortcomings, I will be done in by them. And if I do not accept myself, my whole self, I will lose myself.

This, then...this inner storm...is a part of me. And to regain control, I must take it back inside and become one with it. All of this is my heart that drives my will, and my will which shatters whatever stands in its path.

He stepped forward, placing his hands on the teahouse doors, then threw them open.

The roar of the howling wind and spinning petal blades assaulted his senses, and he felt them closing in on him as he descended the steps into the heart of his inner world. He was ready, he thought, to brace himself against the pain of that reconnection, but he had no idea what form it would take.

At first, the wind battered his slender frame, as though trying to force him back. The blades spun in his direction, their deadly edges honing in on him, approaching him at deadly speeds.

"Byakuya!" cried Ichigo's voice from somewhere behind him.

The noble froze for a moment, wondering at the return of the younger man.

But then, Ichigo is always there for the ones he loves. Before, it would have been my instinct to stand alone against the storm, to rely on only my own strength to see me through. But from Ichigo, I have learned that we endure by putting our strength together against the storm.

This is how we survive.

Byakuya reeled as other voices joined Ichigo's. And he realized that the storm had only been shutting those voices out. But as he accepted the storm into his soul again and became one with it, he heard them all...Ginrei, Rukia, Renji, Tetsuya and...

"Ichigo."

The shinigami substitute paused in front of him, studying the noble with curious eyes.

"That was amazing!" he said breathlessly, "How did you do that? I thought that you would be swept away, but you...you swallowed it up like it was nothing!"

He gazed at the tattered mess all around them.

"It sure made a wreck of this place, though."

"It will be fine now," Byakuya assured him, bending and brushing away some of the debris to uncover a small, golden flower.

Ichigo smiled and touched the small blossom, caressing the new, green stem lightly with his fingertips.

"But, what was that? What happened? How did you do that?"

"I accepted that this is a part of me...that storm and this mess are what is in my heart right now. Before I can be restored, I must accept who I am. Only then can I become," Byakuya explained.

"You look kinda pale," Ichigo said, moving closer, "Are you all right?"

Byakuya started to answer, but paused, frowning, as he felt a deep ache building inside.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Ichigo asked, looking alarmed, "Byakuya...?"

The noble's eyes widened and grew distressed.

"It's him!" he exclaimed, "Senbonzakura. He is here somewhere and he is calling for me!"

Byakuya turned in one direction, then in the next, focusing hard and trying to hone in on the sound.

"I can't tell the direction," he confessed in a soft, frustrated voice, "Ichigo!"

"I can't get a read on it either," Ichigo said, shaking his head, "But you're looking like you're going to fall down. Come on, let's get you back inside and..."

Ichigo stared in dismay as a swift flash step sounded and Byakuya disappeared from his side.

"Byakuya!" he called after the noble, "Byakuya, wait! Your...Damn it!"

He flash stepped after the noble, making his way through the collapsed trees and tumbled stones, searching for any sign. His already worried expression darkened as he sensed Byakuya's reiatsu and realized that it was leaking from his still-not-fully-healed soul as he ran.

"Byakuya, wait!" he called, flash stepping faster.

His concern increased as he spotted splashes of blood, where Byakuya had crashed heedlessly through barriers of debris, desperately seeking his zanpakutou spirit. He slid to a stop as he finally found the noble, bracing himself against some kind of barrier that held the masked samurai away from him.

"Senbonzakura!" he cried, pounding on the barrier, then striking it with his power.

"Byakuya, stop! You can break through it!" Ichigo warned him, "Stop it! You're going to...!"

Ichigo's heart stopped for a moment as Byakuya struck at the barrier again and Senbonzakura struck it at the same time, from the other side. A huge flash of light blinded him for a moment, and then he flash stepped forward, catching the falling shinigami in his outstretched arms.

"Damn!" he gasped, "Are you all right? Byakuya? Byakuya, answer me, damn it! Byakuya!"

He laid the senseless noble on his back, on the debris littered ground and realized, to his dismay, that he had stopped breathing.

"Byakuya!" he cried again, "Byakuya, wake up!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Back on the precipice between life and death, Byakuya clung to the last bits of fading life and tried to remember how he had come to be there. He felt himself falling through ice and fire, crashing into hard barriers and descending endlessly through unbearable darkness. But just as he was about to disappear into the maelstrom, Ichigo's voice broke through to him again, anchoring him and holding him, teetering at the edge.

"It's okay. I have you now."

He felt himself being lifted and carried for a time, then laid down in a soft, comfortable bed that was still scented with their mingled essences. Ichigo's voice soothed him back into sleep, and he found himself grateful to be able to feel those strong arms that wrapped protectively around him and the connection of their spirit centers, that slowly revived him.

Byakuya felt a cool, wet cloth wash his face, then felt Ichigo's lips touch his forehead, one slender hand, then his lips.

"Sorry about this," Ichigo said softly, "but Kirinji said that if I wanted you to wake up again, ever, that you needed a deeper infusion of my reiatsu."

Byakuya loosed a soft, pleased groan of relief as Ichigo slowly prepared him, then carefully joined their bodies. He took a startled breath and clenched at Ichigo's strong shoulders as they moved together. His eyes slid shut again and he let himself be swallowed up by the beautiful feeling of their resonance and the wonderful, erotic throbs that their joining created between them. Even better were the beautiful words Ichigo panted into his flushed ear as they writhed heatedly together.

"Please stay with me. I love you, Byakuya. I love you and I don't ever want you to go!"

The words ran like wildfire through Byakuya's reeling form, filling him again with passion and life, and bringing him back from the edges of destruction. He held on tighter, sinking into a hail of blazing kisses and feeling the flames of pleasure lick at all of his most sensitive places at once. He gasped as the gripping sensations overwhelmed him, and loosed Ichigo's name as climax shook his body and he felt renewed life flood his insides. Warm seed poured out onto their skin, then Ichigo's hot mouth made a trail of kisses down his body to devour his yielded essence.

Unable to move anymore, Byakuya laid quietly, enjoying the warm, calming touches on his body, and the soft, breathy words that trickled into his sleepy mind. And when Ichigo dropped down beside him, his breast still heaving softly with exertion, the noble curled readily into his arms, turning his head to lay soft, feathery kisses on Ichigo's sweat-misted throat.

"So...this is what it feels like to be in love," Ichigo mused, smiling as Byakuya nuzzled closer and loosed a pleased sigh of agreement, "And just for the record? I'm glad. I'm really glad that the first and only person to ever make me fall in love is you."

"I am equally grateful," Byakuya confessed, burrowing deeper into his embrace, "And I love you as well, Ichigo."

Ichigo slid a warm hand down the length his back and let his fingers play about the noble's plundered entrance.

"I'm glad you didn't die," Ichigo said, licking Byakuya's soft lips, then sinking into his mouth for a steamy bout of kisses before continuing, "But, what do we do now? You tried to reach Senbonzakura and almost died from the shock of attacking that barrier. You have to promise me that you won't do that again, Byakuya."

"But then, what am I to do? I cannot leave Senbonzakura in the hands of that quincy. He is in terrible distress, and it only gets worse, every moment that we delay."

"And I promise we'll go after him," Ichigo said bracingly, "but you need to be at full power before we can do that. Just trust me. I won't let you down. You are going to be back on your feet and fighting quincies in no time!"

"I believe you," Byakuya said more calmly, "It is just painful to know that he is suffering. And that I let him go so easily is...haunting."

"You didn't let him go," Ichigo corrected him, "You were tricked into releasing your bankai and he was stolen from you. But he isn't gone, Byakuya. We'll get him back. I promise we will. Just trust that and focus on getting better, yourself."

"Well," Byakuya said, sounding amused, "if all of my 'healing' is going to be as pleasant as this, then I have no objection to that."

He was surprised at how adorable and attractive Ichigo looked when he blushed.

"That was really something, ne?" he laughed softly, "Too bad when we started you were kinda half-dead."

"I am quite alive now," the noble said, turning in his arms, "And having been so painstakingly revived by your fine attentions, I feel compelled to offer you just compensation for what you did."

"Oh, you don't have to..."

He had his words stolen away as Byakuya's soft lips captured his, and the noble commenced a very slow and thorough appreciation of every inch of the younger man's bared body. His graceful fingers combed through the short lengths of ginger hair, and his kisses touched every last inch of his face, before traveling gradually downward. Teasing the sensitive skin of his throat, following the hard line of his collarbone, then trailing down over the broad expanse of his chest and lingering over his soft, white belly, plunging heedlessly into his navel and sucking heatedly, then following the line of ginger hairs down to his nether region, pausing to loose hot breath onto his inner thighs and watching the beautiful flush on his skin deepen, smiling and pushing his thighs open wider, then making him moan and sigh helplessly as that sinful mouth pleasured him shamelessly.

"B-byakuya!" Ichigo groaned, sinking his fingers into the lovely lengths of raven hair and encouraging his movements.

He almost disappeared into the lovely throbs of climax, and the even more wicked pleasure of feeling how desperately the proud noble sought out every last trace of his yielded essence before returning to his mouth and sharing their mingled flavors, leaving him sleepy and sated, dozing pleasantly in Byakuya's arms.

"I have to say, I hate what the quincies have done to our worlds," he said softly, seeking Byakuya's lips again, "but I am not sorry that this happened...you and me. I never even thought of it before, but it really makes sense. There's always been a lot of emotion between us, even when we were fighting each other before."

"I never wanted to fight you," Byakuya confessed, "If anything, I wanted to be the one fighting on Rukia's behalf."

"I know that," Ichigo chuckled.

"And because of you, I was freed to do that, after our battle."

"Yeah, but...do you always have to do everything the hard way?"

"What do you mean?" Byakuya asked, frowning.

"Well, if when you'd come to the living world to find Rukia, you'd just fallen into my arms right then, we would never have had to fight at all. We could have been lying there, making love all of this time!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Byakuya huffed, shaking his head, "That would never have..."

"I know that!" Ichigo laughed, pushing the noble down and pouncing on him again, "I was joking, Byakuya."

"Ah, I see," the noble said, smirking, "Well then, if you promise to make your next joke funny, then maybe I will laugh."

"You...!" Ichigo began, then he caught Byakuya's eye and read the humor there, "You're going to pay for that!"

But the price, Byakuya found as his body was passionately invaded again, was one that he was more than willing to pay.