Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

P.S. Don't read if you haven't see the most recent episode. SPOILER ALERT! :D

Also, Kurts thought alternate between italic and bold. But it's not that hard to figure out. I have faith in you all. Enjoy!

P.S.S. I like reviews.

P.S.S.S. Nice ones though… well, criticism is cool. But don't be hateful please!

"You heard that the glee club is doing Grease, right?"

Kurt nodded absent mindedly as he flipped through the last copy of Vogue.

"Of course," he said to Rachel, who was once again attempting to cook dinner, "And you heard that Finn is directing it, correct?"

"Co-directing", Rachel corrected.

Kurt shot her a hard look and she sighed.

"You heard from Mercedes?"

"Rachel, you know I have," Kurt sat up from his place in the middle of the warehouse-like apartment that the two best friends now called their own, "Where are you going with this?"

Rachel sighed and sat down the spoon she had been using to stir the boiling pasta.

"It's just… Finn, Mercedes, Mike; they're all back at McKinley and I'm just feeling a little…"

"Homesick," Kurt finished for her with a sympathetic look.

"Yeah… hard to believe, huh," Rachel said with a little smile, "I thought I'd get out here and just be whisked away by the fabulousness that is New York but…"

"But there's no place like home," Kurt said with a wiry smile.

It was true; New York was wonderful. Rachel was doing great at NYADA even with the evil dance teacher who seemed to be out to get her. Kurt was climbing to the top with his work at . And even though it wasn't exactly what they had planned - living in a shabby little apartment in the bad part of the city, Rachel being treated just as horrid as she had been in Lima, and Kurt not even getting into NYADA- they were still enjoying every minute of it.

But, Kurt thought, that doesn't mean we can't miss home.

He'd never thought he would miss Lima either, but he'd forgotten what he was leaving behind. His dad was in Lima; Glee club and Finn and Carole were in Lima. Blaine was in Lima.

No, he thought, stop it. He shouldn't miss Blaine. Blaine had cheated on him. Blaine had betrayed him in the worst way possible.

You mean like what you did last year? You mean that thing that Blaine forgave you for?

Yeah, but I never actually DID anything! Kurt shot back to his subconscious.

Technically, you don't even know what Blaine did.

He said he was "with" someone. It's not exactly hard to figure out what that means.

Yes, but it's Blaine. Being "with" someone could mean going to have coffee with them and maybe the guy attempting to hold his hand, or holding eye contact for too long. Maybe if you just answered his texts and let him explain…

Kurt stopped his inner monologue. He was pretty sure it wasn't healthy to have a conversation with himself. That, and he didn't want to think about answering Blaine's phone calls; Kurt just couldn't handle it. Not yet, anyway. He had to work through his thoughts concerning the situation first. He deserved that, didn't he? He had the right to figure out how he felt about the whole debacle before he spoke to Blaine.

Yes, and in the meantime, you're both absolutely miserable.

SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

"Kurt… what would you say about going to McKinley to see Grease?"

That brought Kurt out of his stupor.

"Huh?" He replied eloquently.

"McKinley?" Rachel said slowly, "Flying out there to see the production?"

Kurt just stared at her, so Rachel started in on her rant.

"It's just that Artie and Finn are co-directing and that in itself should be amazing, because Artie is actually really talented at that and Finn can bring anyone together when he really tries. You know he can! I mean, he got Sam to join Glee club, and he brought us all together when Sue gave away our set list, and he helped all of us gain confidence even when he was taking slushies in the face for it! And Mercedes is the vocal coach, so maybe the new kids will actually be on pitch, and Mike actually might be able to help them learn how to dance so that they can show case someone other than Britney! And, you know, I heard that Noah's half-brother can actually dance-"

Kurt stepped in, "Rachel, I…"

He wasn't sure what to say; she brought up some really good points. He was positive that the show was going to be amazing! It was just that…

"Rachel, I would love to, I would!" Kurt held up a hand to stop Rachel from squealing so he could continue, " I would love to go see our friends work and I would love to see Tina and Sam and Joe and everyone else perform it's just…"

Kurt sighed, "I don't think I can handle going to the Blaine playing Danny Zuko."

This made Rachel pause. She looked like a deer caught in head lights.

"What?" She said, so quietly he could barely hear her.

"You heard me. And frankly, I think I have a right to feel this way! Especially considering all that's happened recently…"

Rachel looked at Kurt sympathetically, "Kurt… you haven't heard from anyone about the cast list, have you?"

Now it was Kurt's turn to be surprised, "What are you talking about?"

"I called Mercedes earlier today to ask how the cast list went. I was curious, especially about Couch Sylvester's reaction to Unique playing Rizzo, because she said earlier that Finn was dead set on it, and…"

She paused.

"What?" Kurt asked hesitantly.

Rachel took a deep breathe, "She wasn't there for Blaine's audition, but Artie gave her and Mike the whole run down. She said that he performed… but totally broke down at the end."

Kurt stared at her, not fully comprehending what she was saying.

"She said that he refused a part. He said that he tried, because he didn't want to let anyone down, but… that Grease was a romance and he didn't know how he could play the part after he'd ruined his. They convinced him to take the role of Teen Angel, but he wasn't happy about it."

Kurt turned to look at the wall. Blaine… wasn't playing Danny? It just didn't seem right. Who else would you give the part to? Why had Blaine refused the part? He was a shoe in! And he loved to perform! Say what you will about Blaine Anderson, and his awfully charming dapperness, but he was an absolute spot light hog. In what world would he give up the chance to stand up stage and belt his heart out?

In a world that you're not in anymore.

Kurt's annoying subconscious was right. Blaine would have taken the part of Danny if they'd still been together. If Kurt had been there to cheer him on, he would have taken it in a heartbeat. He would have done nothing but practice until opening night, just so it would be perfect when Kurt went to see it.

But Blaine had brought this upon himself! It was Blaine's fault that they were no longer together! Blaine had cheated on him! Blaine had ruined everything!

But did he really do it by himself?

Of course not, he had some skank with him when he did it. Kurt replied smarmily.

You know what I mean.

Okay, so maybe Kurt hadn't answered a few phones calls; And hogged all the time talking during skype dates; And ignored Blaine's cries for help… but he hadn't cheated! He hadn't gone out and found someone to help with his loneliness!

"Kurt," Rachel said softly, moving into his line of sight, "What are you thinking?"

"That it's all my fault," Kurt choked out. He was shocked to feel tears burning at his eyes. Why was he crying? Why had he said that? It wasn't true! Was it?

"Oh, honey no."

"But it is!" Kurt wailed, "I should have known that something was wrong with him! I should have paid more attention and answered his calls and made sure I had time for him!"

"Kurt, the long distance thing was just too hard!"

"Oh don't give me that crap," Kurt snarled, standing up so swiftly Rachel almost fell off the couch, "We knew what to expect. We were ready; we had plans. We're soul mates Rachel! We're supposed to grow old together! We're supposed to move in together and buy stupid little love plants and pretend that they're our children! We're supposed to get married, and be successful, and be that gay couple you see on TV and just fawn over, because they're so irresistible. We're supposed to be the new Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka after they grow old and have too many children to be in the spot light!"

Rachel stood up and took Kurt's hands into her own, "Who says you can't still have that?"

Kurt stared at her once more.

"What?" He said, incredulously.

"Who says you can't still have that?" Rachel asked more forcefully, "So he made a mistake; we all do that Kurt! Especially in times of crisis! Now, I'm not saying that what he did was in anyway okay, or that you should forget it happened, or that you don't have a right to be upset and angry. I'm just saying… don't let your life be ruined because of this one wrong action. Don't let the person you love get away just because you feel scorned, because Kurt, one day, I think you'll come to regret it.

"I think that one day, you'll look back and wonder what would have happened if you had just given him a second chance! Mr. Right," Rachel said dreamily, "and okay, he's not perfect! But, no one is! And you should know his imperfectness best of all!

"Isn't that one of the reasons you love him?" Rachel finished with a small smile.

Kurt knew most of that; he knew how much he would miss Blaine, and his smile. How much he would miss his ridiculous bow ties, and how he rolled up his jeans, and the way he absolutely refused to wear socks. He'd miss the small touches Blaine would give him when Kurt was super excited, or upset, or angry. He'd miss sitting with him and just knowing, just knowing, that he was thinking the exact same thing as him whenever they saw something particularly amusing or horrific.

He knew how much he'd miss the look in Blaine's eyes whenever Kurt rounded the corner and walked towards him. They look he got every time he felt like Kurt had done something adorable, or funny, or just plain Kurt-like. The look he got when they said, I love you.

He knew he would come to regret letting Blaine slip through his fingers, but could he really, truly, forgive him for what he had done? Could they really work through this? Could they get back on the right track?

Kurt knew the answer.

He looked down at Rachel and gave her a little half smile.

"So?" she asked, imploringly.

"So," Kurt sighed, "I guess I better call Finn and reserve a couple of tickets to McKinley's production of Grease."