A/N: I know I said this story was discontinued but I'm going to write the odd chapter for it if I ever have the time. I know it's been over four months since I updated this and I'm sorry but I did warn you guys that this story was definitely not going to have regular updates.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games.

Chapter Twelve

Katniss woke up screaming.

She was in her bedroom in the training center, her skin coated with sweat and her throat aching from yelling. Another nightmare. She rubbed her temples to ward of the headache she felt quickly approaching and bit back tears. The dream kept replaying in her mind long after her eyes open.

Enraged screams, chair above the head, I volunteer as tribute.

He tried to save me.

It was difficult but Snow somehow managed to edit Peeta's interferance with the screen by the Justice Building out of the reaping broadcast. It made Katniss feel horrible, the knowledge that Peeta's attempt at trying to help her was fruitless because of a simple editing tool. And who knew what Kitty was now doing to him because of his attempts.

She could still see Kitty's face as she kicked the door down. The face that Katniss had only ever known to be indifferent and placid was gnarled with rage, contorted in anger to the point where she looked like a mutt. She had managed to bring Peeta down with surprising strength which made Katniss worry as to what the President's granddaughter was actually capable of.

Probably a lot more than she could ever imagine.

A groan pulled Katniss out of her panic reverie. She looked at the floor beside her bed, where Haymitch lay on the floor with a tatty blanket covering his body. Ever since the tribute parade, her mentor had started sleeping in the same room as her, shushing and comforting her when the nightmares came in Peeta's absence. Now, Haymitch wasn't the most comforting of people but Katniss could recognize that he was trying his best to help her

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked, his eyes squeezed shut. They had been in the training center for two days now, their private sessions with the Gamemakers being tomorrow. Katniss had accidentally attracted unwanted attention by taking on the target practice, having brought in ally requests from the other victors. But she didn't trust any of them as far as she could throw them. She just wanted to work with Haymitch. That was it.

"Yeah," Katniss lied, her voice breathy from lack of oxygen because of her constant screaming.

"The truth?" her mentor inquired.

Damn it, how could he always tell when she was lying? "You know the truth," she mumbled.

Haymitch sighed, blindly reaching for the bottle of liquor that resided beside his makeshift bed. Katniss wondered what he was going to do when they were stuck in the arena. There certainly wasn't going to be any alcohol provided in there and unless the actual arena environment was a vineyard then eventually Haymitch was going to have to go cold turkey. Which was both helpful and terrifying. Last time he gave up the drink, he started seeing imaginary things and scared Prim to death with his yelling.

Oh, Prim. Katniss' heart felt hollow at the thought of her sister. She hadn't been allowed to say goodbye to her family and friends, which didn't really matter anyway since everyone hated her for 'cheating' on Peeta, but everytime she remembered Prim or her mother, Katniss felt like a little piece of herself had been chipped off. Not so much for Gale. She tried to remember the boy she was friends with before she had been reaped for the Hunger Games but it was becoming increasingly difficult. She couldn't get the arrogant swagger he obtained when asked about the imaginary affair with her out of her head. And it made Katniss burn with hatred.

"You know, I miss him too."

Katniss blinked, the sleep in her eyes clearing. She looked at Haymitch in shock, taken aback by his random declaration. "Miss who?" she asked, slightly stupidly.

"The boy. I miss him too."

"I didn't really take you for the missing type," Katniss said.

Haymitch shrugged, still not having opened his eyes. Katniss had insisted on numerous occasions for him to sleep in her bed and for her to sleep on the floor but he was having none of it. She worried about his back and how it was coping with the hard floor. "I'm not, really. I only miss the people I care about."

Katniss shut her eyes, her heart feeling like it was being ripped to pieces. You know things are bad when Haymitch Abernathy admits something deep and personal. "I miss him everyday," she whispered, more to the duvet pooled in her lap than to Haymitch. "I feel like everyday I'm getting closer and closer to falling apart. We're in the same city as him right now, we're so close."

She looked out at the large window that took up most of the wall directly infront of her bed. The city never seemed to sleep, constantly alive with a buzz of some sort, tonight's being about the countdown to the Third Quarter Quell Games. Peeta was out there somewhere, amongst all that, and she couldn't get to him. She had to stay in the training center, a prisoner of the corrupt government and it's power hungry dictator.

It wasn't even like Haymitch could say that Peeta was living a better life now. They had believed that, at first, but after the phyasico at the reaping where Kitty showed her true colours, they knew that this wasn't the case. She had grabbed a chair and beat him with it for trying to volunteer in Haymitch's place. The girl was deranged. Mad even.

Who knew what she was like when she wasn't angry.

"He's going to be okay, Katniss, you know that, don't you?" Haymitch asked.

"How could I possibly believe that?" Katniss fired back. "Why are you trying to lie to me?"

"I'm not. I don't lie. Compared to what he could be going through, Peeta is actually living a pretty good life," her mentor informed her.

"Are you kidding me?!" Katniss exclaimed. She was horrified. "Haymitch, didn't you see the footage? Kitty beat him with a chair! A chair! How is that living a pretty good life? What the hell sort of twisted image do you count as a 'pretty good life'?!"

Haymitch spoke calmly, like she wasn't yelling at him. "He could have been the next Finnick Odair. At every citizen's beck and call, having to be prepared to give out sexual favours at any time, any place. You saw the thank you cards, you know how massive the interest peak was. He could have been injured, bitten every time Enobaria came to the city, but instead Kitty took him. If she hadn't, he would have been vulnerable to the Hunger Games reaping. You saw the lengths he went to to volunteer in my place Maybe I worded it wrong. He isn't living a good life, he's living a better one that the one he could have had."

The thought of Peeta being the Hunger Games with her made Katniss shiver. Only one of them being able to get out, the knowledge that the stunt with the berries was a fluke and that they were never going to make that mistake ever again, lest become the brunt of Snow's wrath.

"I'm sick of people thinking I cheated on him," she muttered, playing with the silk cover on her duvet. "I'm sick of everyone hating me."

"Maybe you'll redeem yourself in the Games," Haymitch suggested.

"Yeah, because I'm going to be the best damn thing since sliced bread in their eyes if I kill all of the Capitol's beloved victors," Katniss replied. "They'd be sure to love me then!" She was being sarcastic, of course.

"The best thing to do is try to get some rest, sweetheart," Haymitch told her.

Katniss was reluctant but knew that Haymitch knew best. She lay back down and pulled the covers up to her chin. She feared the moment she had to close her eyes and subcumb to the darkness. The moment where she would become most vulernable, the victim of her most hated enemy, her own mind.

She knew the nightmares were going to return for her.

A/N: Please R&R with your thoughts!

(Sorry for any typos!)