Chapter One

When I was about sixteen, my brother and I finally raised up enough money for just one of us to travel from our poor kingdom to the richer kingdom of Supein. It had taken us around five years to get enough money, and that was even with all the money our parents had saved up for at least ten years before us. Does that tell you how much fucking money it costs just to get from one fucking kingdom to another?

But, anyways. The day we finally saved up enough money for just one of us to get a pass and then be able to survive for a while in the other kingdom came, and we had to decide who would go. In the end, I was picked, because I could take care of myself just the tiniest bit better than my little brother, Feliciano, could in a whole other kingdom. And so, I bought a pass that enabled me to go to Supein, and left my brother behind.

It took me two weeks to make it to the main city of Supein, and another two to find a decent job as a serving boy in a rich house. Three months after that, I was their best servant, and they let me serve the prince of Supein, Antonio, when he came to visit, and two weeks after that, the palace hired me to be one of their butlers.

And now, here I am, six months after arriving in this fucking kingdom of fucking Supein, living as the prince's personal butler. My job is to wash his clothes, clean his room, draw water for his baths, cook his food, and any other task they can think up, including taking out his fucking shit-aka, chamber pots.

Oh, and there's just one more problem with this job...

I'm in the kitchen helping with after dinner clean up when one of the serving bells- little bells attached by string to a handle in a room-rings.
"Romano! It's Prince Antoniono!" some random asshole tells me.

"Fuck off!" I yell back at him. The one good thing about being Principe's favorite is that I can call everyone else whatever I want whenever I want, and they can't do anything about it.

I walk through the kitchen and to the servants' stairs, swearing under my breath as I go. Who does this Principe think he is anyways, that he can just make me serve him all the time? I stomped loudly up the stairs, enjoying the looks of the other servants running up and down them. Another thing I can do is be as loud and as noisy as I want and no one can do anything about it because Principe liked me.

I knock on Principe's door, putting on my polite voice so that I can say, "Sir? Did you need something?"

The door opens almost immediately to reveal the Principe of this kingdom, a pretty handsome guy with dark brown hair, bright green eyes, and a rather pretty face-I say pretty so that, if Principe ever learns how to read minds, he will know that I don't think of him as handsome, but as pretty, which somehow proves an imaginary point of mine.

"Romano?" he asks nicely, smiling. "Did I call you?"

My smile turns visibly forced. "Yes, you did." I tell him. "I would like to know why. Sir," I add as an afterthought.

"Oh, I don't remember." he says happily. "Here," He hands me a gold piece. "Go treat yourself to something nice." He smiles again, then closes the door. I stand there for a moment, waiting for... something.

The door pops open again and Principe Antonio is there. "Ah, Romano, I almost forgot! Can you bring me up a basket of tomatoes?" he asks happily.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, sure, be right up." I mutter, then turn and walk back down the servants' stairs. I order a basket of tomatoes in the kitchen, waiting impatiently as some other, lowly servant brings it to me, then stomp back up the stairs and to Principe's bedroom, carrying the goddamn heavy basket of ripe red fruits. I don't understand why he can't go and get his own goddamn tomatoes. Last time I checked, it's not that hard. I mean, I'm doing it right now, so he should be able to do it as well, right?

I knock on the door and wait, hoping my aura looks as pissed off as I want it to look. When he opens the door I shove the basket of tomatoes at him grumpily. "Here you go. Was there anything else you wanted?" I give him a look that says You'd better not have something else you want me to do but he ignores it.

"Could you go get me some more blankets? It's gotten cold in here all of a sudden."

I glare balefully at him before turning away down the corridor to the closet that's right down the hall and pull out a huge armful of blankets, then walk back to his room, knock on the door, and half throw them at him when he opens it. He staggers back into his room and puts them somewhere that'd better be on the bed or else I will kill him.

"Anything. Else?" I ask through gritted teeth.

He ignores the subtle hints I'm giving him. "Can you please bring me a jug of water?" he asks sweetly.

I growl softly in my throat, then smile evilly at him and say, "Of course." in a faux-sweet voice. He smiles after me as I walk back to the servants' stairs to get some goddamn water for his goddamn highness. I'll show him some goddamn high-ness when I shove him out the window of his bedroom.

"Hey! You, random servant! Get me a pitcher of water, pronto!"

The servant turned and sneered at me. This one hasn't learned yet. "Get your own goddamn water, Romano." he says in a heavy accent. "Just because you're fucking around with Prince Antonio doesn't mean you're no longer a servant."

I ignore the "fucking around" comment and let my frown slowly morph into a teary-eyed expression based on my brother's face. "Oh, Prince Antonio, there's a servant who's being very mean to me!" I say tearily. "I think you should fire him."

The servant blanches. "You-you wouldn't."

I smirk at him. "I would. One pitcher of water. And you'd better be quick, or else they'll be a vacancy in the castle staff soon." The servant scurries away to bring me a pitcher of water. As soon as he's out of sight, I let the smirk fall from my face. What did he mean, "just because I'm fucking around" with Principe? Is that what everyone thinks? I'm fucking around with that dickhole? Not fucking likely. Even if I did swing that way, I wouldn't go for someone so absolutely out of my league. I'm not stupid.

The servant comes back, bowing as he hands me the water. I smirk appreciatively. This one knows how to puff up a guy's ego. Too bad he'll still be gone by the month's end because of that "fucking around" comment. It was really rude, and that's a quality that just can't be in a palace servant.

I walk all the way back up those servant stairs, cursing Principe to hell for making me do this for, like, the gazillionth time this hour, then knock on his door sharply, hoping he can tell just from that that I don't want him to ask me to do anything else.

He opens the door, sweetly takes the pitcher, and asks me if I can get him a loaf of bread. My hands clench into fists and I stare at the floor for a while so that I won't attack him, then say, through gritted teeth, that I would like a tip for doing all of this. He smiles sweetly at me and tells me he'll give me a gold coin when I've done everything he asks of me. I barely resist flipping him off, but he's already given me two gold coins tonight, and that's moved me quite a bit along on my quest to bring Feliciano, my baby brother, to Supein, so I'll just have to leave it at that.

"Fine then," I say tightly. "One gold coin." He smiles at me and I turn away quickly, feeling a blush rise in my cheeks. It's that stupid servants comment from earlier that's making me feel all warm, I tell myself. I'll complain to Principe tonight sometime. But for some reason, the blushing won't stop.

A/N Wow, so Roma turned into a fucking jerk... well, not surprising, considering I'm not exactly Feli, but still. I think he'll get better as the story progresses... you know, he'll become a bit cuter and stuff, instead of just evil. So, yeah, and please review, because I love reading reviews, especially funny/weird ones, and I'll most likely reply to all of them, unless someone leaves forty-seven thousand, but yeah, ENJOY! C: C: