Disclaimer: All characters belong to Bioware.

Beta Reader: Mahiwaga no Megumi

Chapter Six

Garrus Vakarian

After leaving Liara's new hideout, Shepard is true to her word and the Normandy's next stop is Omega.

Being back on the space station is almost surreal as Garrus makes his way inside from the docking bay. Having Shepard stay behind is foolish, as who knows what might exactly catch up with him on this trip, but he's just as reluctant to put her in any danger. A silly notion, as she is always—as humans say—knee deep in it. Yet, danger finding her on its own and him willing putting her in it are two completely different things.

As he turns the corner of the last hall leading from the docking bay and gets a good view of Omega, Garrus can't help but stare. Afterlife is teeming with life and even from a distance he can feel the air quake with the hard pulses of music. For a moment he watches the flow of people around him and when someone bumps him—a salarian with enough gal to tell him to watch where he's going—he realizes it's been years since he's felt so out of place here.

Omega was his after only a few months; even Aria didn't dare challenge him. She may say it was because she didn't care and that he gave the three gangs under her thumb something to focus on, but after stepping outside of the box for a while he can see why.

And he doesn't like it.

Aria let Garrus have control because he was just like her, and she knew that. She kept her distance because he was a stabilizing agent against the madness. Aria could only do so much without coming off as weak. She could enforce no looting in her districts, but she still had to tolerate obscene crimes. She could make sure no one was raped or killed in plain view, but an alley was all the cover needed. She was a Pirate Queen and as much as she wanted a kingdom, she could never build one on the ever shifting chaos that is Omega.

So when Garrus had showed up and started blatantly cleaning house—taking down crime lords, dealers, and whoever else turned up in his scope—she let him. It had given her a chance to gain more control without getting her hands dirty.

She knew she couldn't challenge him without him gunning for her and she still used him.

While the Blood Pack, Eclipse, and Blue Suns are all far weaker on Omega right now, he is sure Aria is a hell of a lot stronger.

And he doesn't like it one damn bit.

Passing through Gozu district, Garrus tries to prepare himself for what he'll see, but he still gawks in shock at his hideout.

Or its charred remains, that is.

'I went back and… cleaned up.'

Damn, Shepard, you could have told me that meant burning my freaking house down, he thinks exasperatedly as he approaches the bridge leading to the place he once tentatively called home.

The bodies along the length of the bridge have all been stripped nude by looters and are heaped along the sides. The hardy Earth vermin called rats have been feasting on the decaying flesh and they scatter as he passes. The smell is near unbearable and he is tempted to pull on his helmet, but if anyone sees him with it on it would be too easy for them to recognize him as Archangel and, from what he's been hearing on the streets so far, Archangel is dead.

Garrus hesitates at the charred frame of his doorway and there is bit of panic in him that what he has come for was burned up unknowingly by Shepard. Yet, if it did, he can't blame her, as she was only covering for his sorry ass.

It has only been a week since… since… and it feels too soon. His feet feel both impossibly heavy and are tingling with the urge to bolt. His throat is painfully dry and his heart is hammering inside of it; lodged just so that he can barely breathe.

Fear. When was the last time he felt it so completely? Even when he was facing down hordes and hordes of mercs, it was only an itch in the base of his skull; a reminder that even if he was ready to die, he sure as hell didn't want to. Not with fighting Saren and the geth, or C-Sec and his military tours. Even with the Collectors and them calling out for Shepard, that fear had driven him to act—to protect her at all cost—not stopping him cold like now.

There is nothing here to protect. Nothing to aim the fury and panic that is building inside his heart towards; that's bursting like small supernovas each time he tries to breathe and rips through him with a white hot flare that flashes behind his eyes. That leaves him shaking and frozen and weak, so fucking weak.

And he finds himself even weaker, as he wishes Shepard was here with him; to say a few sarcastic comments or even to just hold his hand with a gentle squeeze, as long as she was by his side, it wouldn't matter.

You're not a child, he growls at himself. Suck it up.

Stiffly, his body moves, limbs twitching like they forget they are capable of the act. Everything is charred black but he still knows what burnt, unidentifiable heap is what; the couch, the coffee table, Ripper, Krul, Sensat, and Monteague….

Every few steps he stops and stares and finds he has to remember how to breathe, even if each breath stretches his tight chest in a painful way. Even if each one is laced with guilt and shame and despair.

Even if they are all dead, he still has to breathe.

From the looks of the house the fire had to have burned for hours; maybe even burning itself out. This section of Omega is old and rarely used because of failing electronics and less than on par safety systems. He had always meant to get around to fixing the sprinkler system and such, but there was always something more important for him to spend his time on.

The overall shell of the building is still standing, but it's clear Shepard had used charges to set the fire, leaving large holes in various places. Specifically, places he needs to use at the moment. While Garrus would have trusted the metal stairs to the second floor to hold his weight if it was just a fire to ravage the metal building, the top half of the stairs are blown completely away, leaving him… doubtful of their integrity.

And, for some reason, Garrus finds the missing stairs funny. He can't say why, a combination of his always prevalent bad luck, timing, and the knowledge that Shepard had most likely planted the charges with the hopes of deterring any looters while actually hindering him… and he may just be finally losing it too.

He takes a few slow steps up the intact stairs and at the wide gap he lets out a soft puff of air that, in his current state of mind, can be called a laugh.

"Always all or nothing, huh Shep?" he wonders out loud and freezes as he is hit by surprise with a memory.

Garrus is in the common room of his hideout, leaning back on the wall next to one of the spare bunks. The long room is filled with sounds he's never heard here before; laugher, cheering, and many other sounds that radiate a good time.

Garrus knows he should be hurrying everyone off to do whatever assignment they need to complete but, as none of them are time sensitive, he figures he can ease up on them this once.

Ripper and Shepard both give long victory yells as they jump up and bump their chest for some—what Garrus can only guess as human—reason.

Ripper grins as she bends down and ruffles Bulter's brown hair while gloating, "You got owned. By a bunch of girls." Bulter snorts and retaliates; quickly reaching out, messing up Ripper's short blond hair and making the woman back off.

"Girls? More like asari in drag," Bulter taunts as he stands, backing away from the window's ledge. Kurl has already moved away to grab a stiff drink off the coffee table, after giving both Shepard and Ripper respectful nods.

"Guess that means M&M over here should be able to beat us?" Ripper grins at the twin asari as they approach with weapons drawn. Shepard double checks her pistol and loads a new clip in.

"Why the hell people decided to stop using the cool down systems is beyond me," Shepard sighs.

Ripper shrugs and offers, "Faster?"

Shepard rolls her eyes and answers, "Only to the untrained. Now I'm looting bodies left and right to make sure I have enough damn thermal clips."

Mierin smiles. "I am sure that will not be a problem right now." She cocks her gun. "As we shall leave nothing for you to shoot." Melanis gives a similar smile and Garrus is reminded how creepy he found the two ex-Eclipse enforcers when they approached him over a year ago to join him and his cause.

Ripper hooks an arm over Shepard's shoulder and grin out, "Talk is cheap, ladies."

Both asari narrow their eyes, making Shepard grin and add, "Come on girlfriends; show us what you got."

Vortash nods, showing that everything is ready for another round, and the four of them step into place. The batarian starts the program and the compound's sensors light up and, thanks to Vortash's rewiring, they flare to life with holo projections.

All four women are skilled—Garrus wouldn't have worked with any of them if they weren't—but it is clear who is the best.

Ripper claps Shepard on the back as the commander backs away from the ledge. Mierin and Melanis give acknowledging nods to the winners and Ripper turns her taunts on Lantar.

"Come on Sid, it's your turn to lose." Ripper's grin only widens at Lantar's glare.

"By myself? V's handing the program and Sensat's not here," he gripes. Shepard turns to Garrus and her lips twist into a devious grin as their eyes meet.

"Oh, how 'bout Archangel?" she calls in a sing-song voice. "He's been watching, I know he's itchin' for a turn."

His team looks between them with unsure glances, even Ripper doesn't join in on the commander's taunt. They are still not use the looser side of him that Shepard brings out. Honestly, Garrus is still not use to it either. It's been a strange week.

Garrus flares his mandibles at the rush of adrenaline that courses through him at the gleam in Shepard's eyes.

"I'd hate to ruin your good time…" he drawls as he pushes away from the wall."But I guess someone needs to wipe that smug look off your face, Commander." Shepard's eyes flashes in a way they didn't for her other opponents.

"Oh? I remember this C-Sec cop, he used to give me a run for my money, but that was years ago."

Garrus chuckles. "And I imagine one of you would be rusty after all that time."

"Yeah, I hear the poor guy never shows his face in public anymore."

"Hmm, is that true? Well, maybe it's time for his glorious come back."

"Sorry, but I'm already in the middle of mine; he'll have to wait a decade or two 'till I'm done."

Ripper makes an annoyed sound. "Will you two stop flirting? You're making miss old sourpuss Archangel."

Garrus notices that he and Shepard are inches from each other and chuckles to hide his embarrassment. He's sure Lantar, the only other turian, can hear the strain in his subvocals as the man gives an amused flare of his mandibles at him.

"How about winner takes all," Shepard whispers quietly before he can move back, her hand skimming lightly down his arm. The sound of her voice purring out in an octave lower makes him suppress a shiver as his eyes snap to hers.

"All?" Garrus repeats as his head bends slightly down with his eyes pointedly looking at her soft mouth, suddenly deeply hungry to taste her; making her shiver from his intense stare. Her eyes are dark and deep as she looks at him.

"All," she assures.

Garrus wasn't joking when he said one of them was rusty. Shepard is still getting use to the changes Cerberus made to her body and, because of it, she lost some of the natural grace she once had; the ability to seamlessly move from target to target. She is still better than most combatants out there but against someone who knows her she doesn't stand a chance.

Yet, as Garrus finally kicks everyone out to do their jobs, she looks far from upset. In fact, her eyes are wide with excitement as Garrus sweeps her up and carries her to his room and, he feels her lips move into a smile as he pins her down and kisses her.

For the first time since stepping foot on Omega again, Garrus remembers that not all of the memories he'll be taking from the station are bad.

As long as he lets himself, he can take some good ones away too.

Feeling a little lighter, Garrus makes the leap to the top floor easily and makes his way to the bedroom. He has to pry the door open and is relieved to see that, not only were no charges placed here, but the closed metal door kept most of the fire out.

There are scorch marks along the frame of the door and the vents, and some the fabric in the room was burnt up, but there must have not been enough oxygen in the room to fuel the fire for very long.

He doesn't bother with the safe (surely empty with Shepard passing through here not long ago) and he goes to the corner of his room. He pushes a dresser aside and digs a gloved talon into a grove, pulling the panel free.

Inside is a lone box, and inside that box is where he had hid away everything that was part of his life before Omega.

There is a picture of his family on top. The one from Solana's graduation from Basic, when Garrus was still the shortest in the family and it is creased and worn from age. It's the one he likes best because his father is actually in that one; smiling wide with one arm around Solana, the other around Garrus, and his mother beaming proudly with another arm around Solana.

There is a memory chip sliding along in the bottom—filled with more pictures—and a small glowing, blue ball as well. As soon as his hand closes around the orb it gives a hard, bone deep vibration that hums through him and his shoulders ease completely at the soothing sensation. It's a Palavenian orb, years of heat and radiation making it pulse with life. It isn't toxic and is a common gift to give a turian youth leaving home for the first time, as holding it is like have a bit of Palaven in hand.

His mother had given it to him, as her father had given it to her. Garrus had asked why she didn't give it to Solana, the oldest and the first to leave home. She had said his sister didn't need a reminder of home; that she would always find her way back, but she had a feeling that Garrus might get lost on his way.

She was right. His mother was always right.

Also inside are his old omni-tool, some data pads and other odds and ends he kept mainly because he never had the heart to throw them out. Like his last two visors; the one given to him by his father for his first tour, and the first one Garrus bought himself. The one he wore on the SR-1. Both were similar looking in design, and Garrus always liked how the white steel and blue light looked on him and complements his markings and plates. Although, with his disfigured face, that really wouldn't matter now.

He replaces the lid and gets a larger box that he was using to store outdated gun mods and dumps the contents out on the floor. He places the smaller box inside and grabs a few personal items he needs for the SR-2. He doubts he'll need any leisure clothes, but grabs a set anyways.

Back on the first floor, Garrus can't help but take one last look around the room before leaving. Once outside, he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves as he sets his box down and steps over to the edge of the bridge, right where they fell. Fell just as he spotted them… as he ran to them… hands outstretched….

It takes a moment for his visor to zoom in on their bodies, but they are down there.

Bulter and Erash.

They landed on a small strip of land, most likely used for maintenance, as it has no accessible ramp or stairs leading down to it. He can see the dark dots of rats swarming around their bodies and he can't help himself as he pulls his gun out and shoots a few, scaring the swarm off. With his gun reattached, he finds the best looking spot and climbs down.

The rats have eaten away most of their faces and have started burrowing into their suits, tearing and gnawing at the panels and wiring. Garrus can feel his stomach lurch at the sight and he has to steady himself with a hand on the wall as the nausea makes him sway.

They didn't deserve this.

When his stomach finally settles he removes their tools and rigs both of their suits to blow with his omni-tool. He can't stand the idea of them being nothing more than meals for the vermin and he knows he can't leave their bodies there like that for anyone to find. He starts his climb back up and, with anger, he notices he's shaking again. That all he can think about are their hollowed out eyes and faces covered in bite marks; flesh torn from their faces, mouths open wide with tongues gone.

He's almost at the top when his hand slips. He scrambles to grab a new hold, but his body glows a bright blinding blue and is jerked hard into the air, where he hovers near the edge of the bridge.

Garrus feels a growl rumble deep in his chest at the asari sitting casualty on the railing.

"Aria."

Hovering in mid-air, with a deadly drop under him, and being that the mercy (and he uses that word so very, very loosely here) of Aria is not how he though his trip to Omega would go. He had hoped to pop in and out before she knew he was there, but things never do go his way.

"Archangel," she greets, leaning forward as she crosses her dangling legs and places her chin in her hand. "Or should I just call you Garrus now? I heard Archangel and his team got fucked over quite bad last week." Her eyes give him a quick once over. "They all died. Shame, really, as he was quite a looker."

Fuck. He's really not in the mood for this.

"Put me down, Aria," he manages to say evenly.

She gives a light shrugs with her narrow shoulders and the field around Garrus gives away, dropping him. He is too far away from the walls on either side of him to even try and grab ahold, so he just clamps his mouth shut as he falls. The hard jerk on his body is expected and soon he is floating back up to eye level with her.

"You're not funny," he gripes, body aching from the yank of her biotics.

"I don't take orders. I make them," she says evenly as she gives him an uncaring look. "You can always break free too. Between that strong will and that body of yours, you can resist me. Or have you finally stopped seeking death?"

He words are too close to the truth and he hates that Aria can see it.

"What the hell do you want?"

Aria looks at him for several long moments before she smiles. Garrus suppresses the wave of anxiety he feels at seeing the dark curve of her lips and the even darker shine in her eyes.

"You, of course."

"What?" he growls, harmonics rumbling deep.

"Or, to be clearer, what you have."

"If you haven't noticed, everything I own can fit into one damn box."

Aria's smile twists as she hops off the railing, the blue of her biotic holding her easily in the air with him and she makes a show of walking over to him.

"Human are such… foolish creatures," she says as she stops within arm's reach of him. "I remember when I first saw them just three decades ago. So soft, rash, and idealistic. Each one so wildly different from the next and unpredictable. Yet, once you have their loyalty, you have it. To a blinding degree…. And you have yourself a loyal one, don't you?"

Garrus can't help but snarl at her. "Don't you fucking dare—"

She waves her hand and her biotics slam his mouth shut, leaving him growling through his plates.

"I like you," she says as she crosses her arms. "Never one to back down and actually able to hold your own. You weren't the first to try and clean this place up. That's what I started doing. How I ended up here. But you want to know the best way to stop people from fucking with you?" Aria lowers her voice to a level where it's almost like they are scheming together and whispers, "It's to make sure you fuck them over first."

He feels her biotics loosen around his jaw and he bites out, "I swear, I will kill you if you go near her."

"I don't need her just yet," the Pirate Queen says neutrally. "I'm still picking up all the pieces you left behind for me. Those three shit dumb gangs, and every things they own—planets, factories, business fronts—will be mine soon, and you gave me a damn good start."

Her head tilts to the side as she looks at him.

"But having Commander Shepard at my call… well, you can see how much of an advantage that'll be."

Garrus snorts.

"She hates you. You might as well send a copy of that tape to Fornax."

"It's only a matter of time before she claws her way back into the Alliance, isn't it? Doesn't she normally get what she wants? But you're right. She'll never willingly help me. It'll take a lot more than that."

Garrus feels his heart skip as his box floats into the air and opens with the blue glow encasing it. The items float out, all shimmering with the same cerulean, and Aria makes a pleased hum once she opens the smaller box, the picture of his family floating gently out.

"A lot more." She runs a finger across Solana's smiling face. "Yes, I'm sure she'll do anything for you. Just like you'll do anything for them."

There are no words to express his feelings at the moment. He's shaking with rage and he's tempted to break her hold and shoot her dead, even if that means he'll fall to his death.

He wants to say Aria's threat is hollow as he's never known her to involve innocents into her games, but he can't say that with complete certainty. He doesn't know her well enough to ignore her threat. Doesn't know her well enough to trust any of her words.

All he knows is that she's a powerful biotic (one of the strongest out there, as what she is doing right now is far beyond an average biotic's skill) and being on her bad side is not ideal.

But being on his bad side is not ideal either.

"Go fuck yourself, Aria."

Aria blinks and stares at him for a second before she laughs. Not one of the hollow mocking ones she uses to intimidate with, but a true merry laugh and that worries Garrus even more.

"I would prefer you, my Archangel." She grins. "You're not going to play nice, are you? Fair enough." His box closes and floats away to its original space, but his picture is still out. "Since I do owe you one, just one, for how clean you've been keeping Omega, I'll leave them in peace. See? How nice I am?"

"Oh, thank you Aria," he snaps sarcastically, "for not randomly murdering my family to make my girlfriend bow down to you. You're my new best friend."

She snorts, clearly mocking him.

"No thank you. I've seen what happens to your friends."

Garrus knows he can't possibly glare harder at her at this point.

She reaches over and tucks his picture in his cowl and then grabs his chin, turning his head to the side to examine his damaged plates. His plates shift uncomfortably at her touch and he hisses as she peels back the bandage and gives a click of her tongue.

"Scars don't go over well with your kind as far as I remember. Humans see them as a tribute to their survival, turians see them as a reminder of their failure. No matter what you do, you'll always carry Omega with you. You'll always be Archangel," she states and he notices they are floating towards the bridge. He thinks about how fast he can break her hold and pull his gun once he's over the bridge, but her words are distracting him.

Aria's always been too attentive, to smart and cunning and he hates she can read him so well.

"May you always remember the man you became when there were no rules to confine you, no one to resist you," she says as they land, a good deal of distance between them. She turns to walk away, still talking. "You were better than most, but you still became a killer. Still pulled a trigger and ended whosever life didn't live up to the perfect world that could exist only in your head." She looks over her shoulder as her eyes meet his. "Remember that when I call."

That night he lays awake with Shepard in his arms. Too worn out to stop his thoughts and he knows if he closes his eyes, what will greet him. So he just stares at the blue glow of the fish tank, the swirl of starts above, and the soft curve of her lips as she smiles in her sleep.

When he had returned to the ship he'd planned on sleeping in the battery, feeling guilty about his encounter with Aria. Yet, he found his way up to her loft once her shift ended and told her about his encounter with the asari. He was surprised when she just shrugged, saying they'll deal with it when the time came and that things were no different than before: Aria still wanted Shepard under her blue thumb, a backup plan in case she needed it.

Only Garrus couldn't just shrug it off. Not when Aria saw him as Shepard's weakness and… when it may be true.

He slides down on the bed, pressing his wounded cheek to her breast and listens to the strong beat of her heart.

Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump.

He closes his eyes and he knows that that sound is worth all the pain in the galaxy.

It was so easy to pretend, to push it all to the back of his mind because it was out of his hands. Now it all comes rushing back at once. The hate, the anger, the rage—

The hurt.

It's just so much at once and even though he knew this day was coming—hoped this day would come—it still takes him by surprise.

Chellick, of all people, gives him the info he needs. Not that the other turian has any idea what's going on, or that his info has condemned a man to death. No, his old friend was just happy to hear from Garrus and even happier to help him look for more of his lost friends, as he has been off the grid for so long most of the contact info he had was out dated. Garrus had felt slightly bad at the lie, but it was necessary.

But isn't it always necessary? Killing that gang leader, slaver, thief, murder, rapist, blackmailer, or whatever scum turned up next on Omega's boot heel for him to scrap off until the next bit of muck was stuck in its place.

It wasn't enough. It was never enough. Kill one and two took its place. Kill ten and a gang turned up. Kill the gang and the universe was gunning for you.

Never enough.

No matter how much Archangel gave Omega wanted more, needed more. So he gave and gave until Omega took something he wasn't willing, was never willing, to give up. Then Omega tried to take him too. It would have, if it wasn't for Shepard, Mordin, and Jacob and their timely arrival.

That's why Lantar has to die. It's the last thing he has to do before he can put Omega behind him, before he can let Archangel and his men rest.

Lantar has to die.

His friend has to die.

He doesn't know why Lantar did what he did. He wants to believe there's a reason—torture, blackmail—but there is nothing he can think of that fits the situation and lets Lantar retain any nobility. If the gangs did get ahold of him and forced him to talk, they would have killed him right after. Letting him go would have been too big of a risk, and Lantar was causing trouble for them even before Garrus arrived. Yet if Lantar went to them, had himself in a position where they couldn't kill him, then it would explain how he's still alive.

"Shepard," Garrus greets as the door behind him opens. "I have a lead on Sidonis."

He has to die. There is no other choice. Garrus needs to put all of this behind him for him and for the future he wants with the woman he loves.

It's a race to the end.

They follow Sidonis' trail through the Citadel and Garrus is pleased he asked Thane to join him and Shepard, as the assassin has spent his whole life doing this for the same outcome Garrus is striving for. Shepard is like a ghost, hovering behind them as they talk to informant after informant. As they bribe and ruff up and kill their way to Fade.

Like a joke, Fade turns out to be Harkin, of all fuckers, and Garrus makes sure that that idiot will be out of commission for a while. Shepard only watches with an impassive face as Garrus breaks Harkin's leg and she follows without a word as they leave.

Thane is reserved and Garrus knows enough about the man's past that if anyone was going to lecture him about the emptiness of revenge, it would be him. But Thane and Shepard don't say anything to discourage him… And he wonders, does he want them to? Does he want someone to stop him from doing… this? Not killing… but killing someone he called friend for two years? Who helped him live through the darkest part of his life?

But is Lantar really that same man?

Garrus just wants a reason, but what reason can he give? None, he knows—Spirits, he knows—but it doesn't make this easier. If he had found Lantar months ago, Garrus would have done this without a second thought. Even now, the rage in him is powerful and overwhelming but there is also Shepard.

She doesn't approve. If she did she would show it, would have been next to him through all this and not standing quietly behind him.

It's the race to the end and Garrus doesn't know what he'll do at it.

Or who will be next to him there.

"He will run at the sight of either of you," Thane says as he gracefully slips from the cab. "I will scout for a deserted place to lead him so there will be no eyewitnesses. I will radio you." And with that, Thane is gone.

With nothing to do but wait, Garrus checks and rechecks his guns. The scopes, mods, clips, trigger. There will be no reason why anything will go wrong.

"This isn't you."

Garrus' hands still at their task and he slowly turns around to face Shepard. The look on her face is hard and fierce and he knows he's talking to the commander and not his lover.

Garrus tilts his head to the side and drawls,

"What would you do if someone betrayed you? As good as took a gun and shot Joker, Liara, Kaidan, and Tali? Killed me? What would you do, Commander?"

"I would kill them." The answer comes too easily so Garrus waits for the catch, only she stays quiet.

"Same as me," he huffs and Shepard smiles; only it's not right. It's too twisted.

"No, Garrus. You know how I am. Once I start something, I finish it. I would've never spent months trying to forget, trying to move on. I would have tracked him down in a fraction of the time it took you and killed him. I would have been blinded by anger and hate and everything else you've been working hard at controlling. This isn't you Garrus, it's me. And you're better than that. Better than me." Her expression turns sad. "I… I just wish you could see that." She takes a small step towards him. "I just wish you would stop trying to be like me and just be you, because it's that good heart of yours that the universe needs." She sighs. "That I need."

Thane's voice flares over the comm and Garrus isn't sure what to do, what she's asking him to do, as she leaves to meet up with Thane and he looks for the best vantage point.

He should face Lantar, hold a pistol to his head and let him know without a doubt that he's dying by his hands. But a sniper is Archangel's preferred weapon, his calling card of sorts, and it's Archangel's team that's screaming for vengeance in his ears.

Pull the trigger. That's all he has to do. He's done it hundreds of times, so what's one more? One lone star dying in the ever expanding universe?

Shepard's down there. He can't see her face but he can see Lantar's and he clearly understands what is happening. Thane and Shepard have him trapped and there is not one around to help him. Garrus is on a ledge and his shot is open, or he thinks it is. Shepard is moving strange, hovering closer to Lantar than she knows she should and a part of him is afraid she'll throw herself in his bullet's path. Why she would risk her life to save Lantar's is beyond him, but Shepard's never been known for her rational actions.

"Tell Garrus… tell him I'm sorry," Lantar's voice is hollow through the comm.

Thane speaks next, voice hard.

"I do not believe he has come for an apology. If you wish to give him any sense of peace, speak of your betrayal. Why someone would turn on so many he called friend."

Through his scope he sees Lantar flinch and look down.

"Can he hear me?" He asks as he looks at Shepard. She only nods. "I… I don't know how they found out who I was. But I was on Omega long before you were, so I guess I had more loose ends." He's looking at Shepard as he talks and she is still as a statue as he goes on. "I don't have a reason, Garrus. I just wasn't strong, not like you. They were going to kill me… they should have killed me. I don't have a reason."

Lantar has always been skilled, a reason why he was always by Garrus' side, so it's not surprising as Lantar lifts his head and looks right into Garrus' scope.

Shepard steps aside (she clearly knew she was in his shot) and Thane steps aside as well, leaving Lantar to stare up at him.

Easy, this should have been easy. Lantar is still the same man who doomed him squad, so what if he was in that situation because of him. Because Garrus didn't protect their identities like he should.

Ah, damn, why is he back to blaming himself? Why is this so damn hard? Why can this just be over with?

He just wants to be done with this, he's so tired… of all this, of Archangel….

'You'll always be Archangel.'

Garrus evens his breathing and pulls the trigger.

He's just so tired of Archangel.

The look of shock on Lantar's face as the bullet hits harmlessly at his feet is shared by Thane and maybe even Shepard. Garrus tells them to send Lantar away and Shepard does. The ride back is quiet and it's not until they are at the Normandy's airlock that someone speaks.

"You would have felt the same," Thane assures. "I do not regret tracking down those who killed my wife, I just regret my inability to let go. What that did to my son. I let myself fall into my battle sleep with no thought about the love ones I had waiting for me." He looks at Garrus and gives him a nod. "Letting go is hard. Living is even harder. But today you did something most cannot. You did not let the actions of another dictate who you are." Thane reaches out and offers his hand. Garrus takes it as the doors open and shakes the assassin's hand.

Thane bids goodbye as he leaves for the elevator.

"Hey," Joker is out of his seat and looks from Thane's retreating back to him and Shepard. "So… everything's good?"

"Yeah," Garrus says as he slips his hand into Shepard's and she gives his a hard squeeze.

Joker sighs in exaggerated relief.

"Thank God, man. Some days I thought you were going to go postal and take us all out."

Garrus frowns.

"Postal? As in mail? Why would mail kill you?" He knows a lot of human expressions, but that's one he doesn't. It must be an older one.

Joker's bark of laughter and Shepard's sudden giggling fit tells him he missed something, but it doesn't bother him as Shepard wraps her arms tightly around his left and kisses his shoulder. She looks up at him while giving him a clear shit-eating grin and teases,

"Obviously from all the paper cuts, Detective."

Garrus rolls his eye.

"You're an idiot."

"Good. I wouldn't want you feeling left out, now would I?"

They both bid goodbye to an amused Joker and head up to their cabin. In the elevator ride up, Garrus feels his mood slipping and he hesitates at the doorway to their room. Shepard pulls him along but still he feels reluctant to join her in their shared room.

Shepard frowns and her eyes search his before her shoulder sag and she sighs.

"You don't need my approval," she says gently with another pull. "Only your own."

It certainly didn't feel that way earlier, with Shepard skirting his scope.

"And if I killed him?"

"Then we would still be here," she assures. "Only you'd be asking if he should have lived. No one wins here, Garrus. No one ever could."

That's not what he's asking.

"And if I killed him?"

"Garrus, we would still be here," she says pulling his hand up to press her cheek into it. "Like I said," she goes on, "I would have killed Sidonis months ago. If you had done that, it was your choice, not mine. I… I just wanted you to be sure. Doubt, regret… those can eat at you, worse than anything. Do you want to go after him? Do you regret sparing him?"

Garrus thinks about it and while he is still hurting—it may always hurt—he shakes his head.

"No."

"Then that's your answer," Shepard says with a weak smile as she wraps her arms around his waist and lightly nuzzles the underside of his jaw. "But, if it helps, I am proud of you, Garrus. I'm proud to call you my friend, my comrade, my lover. Whether you prefer Archangel or Garrus—"

"Garrus," he says as he turns to press his mouth to her forehead. "To you, it's always Garrus."

She chuckles.

"And I'm proud to say I love you, Garrus Vakarian. I love you."

"Shepard…" he groans as she bites along his jaw and he hears the click of his suits latches.

"I love you," she repeats with a slight urgency in her voice.

In a blur they undress and, as Garrus falls back onto the couch with Shepard in his arms, he is struck with the similarities to their first time: her in his lap, his heart open and raw, him whispering in her ear.

Only now, he holds her tight. Not from fear that she is a ghost—a vision in a fleeting, desperate moment—but because he is lost to the passion of her soft, yielding body. And he doesn't fuck her; desperate and needy, but makes love. Something he never knew had a difference until now.

It doesn't matter if it's hard and fast, talons and teeth, or slow and deep, never ending and eternal. What makes it different is the look on her face as he sinks into her, like he is completing her. It's the tears rimming her eyes as she claws his back in ecstasy and sings his name to the stars, her lips on his damaged plates, sweet and soft and sorrowful with each kiss.

The love she whispers against his mouth as his fingers lace into her hair.

The love he whispers back, body spent but always craving, needing more.

It's the love bursting free from his soul and burning white hot in her eyes.

It's love that makes all the difference in the universe and, now that he's found it, he'll try his damn hardest to never let it go.

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"Ugh, it's so hot," Shepard whines again, slumped over and dragging her feet. "We're inside a building for Christ sake!" She falls exaggeratedly against a wall, and he's glad she opted for a t-shirt and jean and not that damn Cerberus uniform. Although, walking around on Palaven with that on seemed like a bad idea in general, and not because of the heat.

"It feels good to me," Garrus says smugly as he messes with his omni-tool, checking again for a message. Seeing that nothing is in his inbox he decides to go find a human friendly restaurant, hopefully one that serves cold refreshments.

"Ugh." She slides fully down the wall, the lack of a clever come back shows just how out of it she is. "It's hot. Garrus, I don't like it hot," she whines, sitting on the floor looking up at him with wide, pleading eyes.

"Oh, I didn't notice," he says casually with a shrug. "You're doing such a good job at hiding it."

Shepard glares but stops and fans herself.

"Look at me!" she calls out, causing several turians nearby to indeed look at her. "Look at what you've done to your girlfriend, mister! I'm melting! Spirits alive, I'm melting!"

Garrus only laughs at her, causing her to attempt a light kick at his leg. He lets it land and moves to help her up. When he reaches down and pulls her up she's goes limp and for some reason he finds it even more amusing.

"Guess I have to carry you," he points out. "I don't mind. Having your body pressed against mind. My breath on your skin," he whispers against her neck. "All that heat dancing between us…"

Shepard jumps away from him. "I'm up! I'm up!" But not two seconds later. "It's so hot."

This time Garrus does sigh. "And what do you want me to do about it?"

"You dragged me all the way here to fucking Palaven for some super-secret reason when I still need to find out why Grunt's tearing up the ship more than normal, so the least you can do is make the heat stop." She grabs his tunic and shakes him. Then she freezes and he knows from the sudden smirk on her face that she has an idea.

"EDI!"

Through their comms, the Normandy's AI coolly responses,

"Yes, Commander?"

"Tell Kasumi her hacking skills are sorely needed. Like twenty degrees cooler needed."

"I will inform her."

"Thanks, EDI." Shepard cuts the comm. Garrus just shakes his head and walks away. She follows and happily laces her arms through his once she catches up.

A few minutes later the building is noticeably cooler and….

"…I'm cold," Garrus says as his shoulders drop. He's used to the constant feeling of being cold, as every other species prefers it a lot cooler than turains do, but he thought he could at least go to Palavan without feeling like he was going to freeze to death.

Shepard grins.

"Well, you know it's better to be cold than hot."

He rolls his eyes.

"And why's that?"

"Because," she stands on her toes and kisses his bandaged cheek. "It's easier to warm up than cool down." She runs her finger across the exposed skin of his neck, making him shudder and sending a burst of heat through him. "It's a lot more fun, too."

"How fun?" He purrs, turning to pull her closer. Her eyes darken and she shivers at the drop in his flanging.

"Oh, I promise," she smiles as her hands press against his chest, palms flat. "You'll have a good time."

Garrus chuckles and leans to press his head to hers. "Don't I always?"

Shepard smiles and presses her mouth to his. They part and Garrus leads them to a restaurant with a sign saying that it's levo friendly. They sit out front in a small patio section and order from the menu. The restaurant is fairly busy and from the happy rumble, he can tell the humans are enjoying the drop in heat inside the building.

His tool pings and Shepard looks over from observing the interacting populace. He can't stop the happy flare of his mandibles as he types a quick reply and sends it off.

She doesn't bother asking, as he has already made it clear it is a surprise, and she just returns to eating her food and watching the flow of people around her. Garrus is too worked up to resume eating and, seeing that Shepard's drink is low, he uses that as an excuse to get up and 'refill' it.

Garrus pauses as he returns to the table, still a good distance away, as a turian around Garrus' own height is now scanning the seating area. Seeing how Shepard is the only solo occupant, the turian calmly walks over and sits down, much to Shepard's confusion.

And even though he knows he will pay for it later—from both parties—Garrus just moves close enough to hear their conversation.

"Hello…" Shepard says slowly as she eyes the other turian. Her eyes narrow as she notices the same blue markings as Garrus' and eyes almost the same color as his.

The turian eyes Shepard in return, most likely comparing the confused human to all the vids and reports ever shown about the great Commander Shepard, before letting out a haggard sigh.

"That son of mine probably thinks this is funny."

"Pardon?" Shepard ask, brows furrowing.

The turian extends his hand across the table and Shepard hesitates only for a second before gripping it. They shake hands as the turian flares his mandibles in a light smile.

"I'm Silvanus Vakarian, Garrus' father. And, from the looks of it, he didn't tell you we were meeting today."

Shepard's mouth drops open and, just as she pulls her hand away from the handshake, she balls it into a fist and slams it into the table.

"That son-of-a-bitch! Oh, I mean motherfucker, shit, bastard—shit!" she panics, not able to think of a curse that didn't inadvertently insult his parents.

Surprisingly, his father is taking Shepard's outburst well and Silvanus just chuckles.

"I believe," he starts once he catches Shepard's eye. "I owe you a thank you."

Garrus almost drops the drink in his hand as he blinks in surprise at the sincerity in his father's voice.

Shepard tips her head to the side, the confusion evident on her face.

"Er… for what?"

"For saving my son." His father's stare never wavers from Shepard. "For bringing him home. For that, I can never thank you enough."

Shepard stares in return for a long moment, eyes wide, before her shoulders sag and she shakes her head.

"No." She gives a light, breathy chuckle. "Don't thank me for that." She smiles fondly and her right hand raises to lightly grips the fabric over her heart. "You don't ever have to thank me for that. It was for purely selfish reasons." Then she grins. "But don't tell him that. That puts me ahead by one."

Garrus cannot help but laugh as he approaches the table, earning him a miffed glared from Shepard as he sets her drink down and pulls up a chair to sit next to her.

"Well, would you look at that? Now we're even."

Honestly though, he stopped counting long ago.

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A/N: Ah, done! I hope this turned out alright :) Please review and let me know if there are any glaring issues or questions.

If it's not clear, the fic should transition into the game's storyline from here, only when Shep has to help Aria with all her crazy this Shep is not going to like it.

Thanks a million to everyone who put this on their alerts, favs, and reviewed. This fic actually broke a 100 follows, with was cool. And since Customization broke 100 favs I just need something to break 100 reviews lol So here's some shameless self-promotion; if you like my crazy writing checkout 'Beautiful Wasteland', 'Gray Area', 'A Commander's First Duty' and any other Mass Effect based story.

Also, this story was inspired by Lordess-Alicia's 'Mass Effect Scenario Generator' on DeviantArt. I was playing around and got "Garrus and Shepard in a corner booth at Afterlife" and went "Oh, hell yes. This needs to be written!" lol Same with 'Presidium Lake'. (If you love Garrus and Shepard then you should mosey on over to Lordess-Alicia's Deviant page lol I love 'The Show').

Once again, thanks to everyone, my beta's, and also Cassandra Y.

This was fun to write and I'm glad I was able to finish it.