It's my first time too. Be gentle :)

A/N I'm supposed to say I don't own anything, which is ok, because I don't.

Pam had finally finished placing the flowers and candles in just the perfect location and her hair was done. She knew these would be the hardest parts of her preparations. So, she decided to do it first, knowing she could breeze through the rest if need be.

She stepped into the walk-in closet that was the size of a small bedroom. As she glided slender fingers along the impressive wardrobe, she knew none of those would be right for tonight. She chuckled. Tonight was Tara's and Tara liked her best when she looked 'natural' as she put it. Pam now regarded her clothes as costumes. Hair and makeup were a great place to hide…and that's what she had done for over a century. No emotions, no feelings and no pain as she would slip behind impeccable taste, expensive accessories and a razor sharp tongue. By the time she met Eric she was already an expert at hiding in plain sight. No one ever suspected a thing. That was until Tara.

Of course, a few months ago she would have told you she was completely and authentically, 100% satisfied with living death and wasn't hiding from anything or anyone. A few months ago she wasn't a maker. A few months ago she was trying to kill the woman that she now so desperately wanted to please. It had only been a few months and Tara had stripped her down to the very essence of herself and unflinchingly looked at all of her mess and loved her in spite of it. Pam knew she was a lot to handle, but would never admit it. Turns out there are several lessons that can be learned from the young. Tara's spirit was unrelenting and inspired Pam, even when she wanted to pull away, to keep moving forward.

As her progeny entered her mind, she smiled a smile that was reserved for only her progeny, but fast becoming a staple along with other go to facial expressions like raised eyebrows and rolling eyes. Without thinking she touched the small area of skin that covered the hum in her chest. The familiar tingle above her unbeating heart was proof of their bond and for the past few months proof of their love. Pam focused her thoughts and sent a stream of adoration to the other end of the bond that tethered her to her child. After a few seconds she was overcome with a filling of warmth and undying affection from the other end of the invisible life line. She had come to depend on that feeling. She closed her eyes and sighed at the ridiculousness idea that she, Pamela Swynford de Beaufort, would be dependent on anything or anyone. But here she was, not only dependent, but willing to be so.

She thought about Tara's arms and how they had held her, just held her, from dawn to sunset every day since they escaped, more accurately, since she had been rescued. Pam knew everything had a cost and once (quite foolishly) she had tried to pay for her life with flesh. It was a trade she knew well, but Tara saw right through her and refused, opting instead to wait. She said anything worth having was worth waiting for and she wanted to have Pam's heart …before she had her body. Yes, Tara was devoted. The price of that devotion and all she ever asked in return was that Pam let her love her. Pam's legs threatened to give under the realization that that is exactly what she had done. Somewhere along the way she had allowed Tara to love her and in the process had fallen rather clumsily, herself, into what she could only describe as utter bliss. Tara's quiet strength had allowed her to comb through the past and finally give voice to hurt and pain that had been dormant for over a century. Her unshakable determination and immovable heart melted the walls of ice that had encapsulated Pam's for most of her time on earth. Eric had given her the gift of death, but Tara, Tara had given her a death worth living.

What a strange and somewhat foreign concept. This was happiness, she supposed. Resigned to her fate, she shrugged and retreated to the back of her wardrobe and searched for the satin hanger that had been tucked securely behind latex and tight dresses where she knew the young vampire wouldn't accidentally happen upon it. She grabbed a satin hanger before turning out the light and returning to the master suite. The almost sheer gown that hung, flowed as she walked. She eyed it with the utmost scrutiny, no wrinkles. One less thing to worry about, Pam thought as she carried it to her dressing area. It looked peculiar hanging next to her mirror, mostly because the spot was reserved for leather and corsets as she was picking out her Fangtasia finest. Pam noted the difference, but found it surprisingly comforting as it became a metaphor for her new life.

Before she could travel with her thought to the end of its winding road, her phone rang. It was Jessica. Fearing the worst, she immediately answered.

"What's wrong?" Pam's voice was unsteady with more than a hint of worry. She immediately admonished herself for being so transparent and corrected her posture as if the vampire on the other end would notice.

"Awww, Pam, are you nervous? That's so cute." Jessica was a romantic at heart. Though Pam would never say it aloud, the red head had begun to grow on her and she appreciated her blind optimism when it came to the whirlwind that was she and Tara.

She rolled her eyes before drawling, "Oh, grow up, Annie! I'm over a century old and no stranger to-"

"I know, I know, but tonight's kinda, I don't know, special" Jessica paused a moment, then sped through the reason for her call "… and you should know Tara is getting a little anxious. We won't be able to hold here for much longer" Jessica's voice was uncertain and she braced herself for the blonde's rebuttal.

"Why? I'm not re-, I mean I asked you to do one thing. Let me speak to Eric?" Pam was growing impatient with the child. Was it so difficult to keep Tara out of the house for a few hours? This wasn't rocket science.

"Eric and Tara went to the bar for more True Blood. He's trying to stall her, but he told me to call and let you know." Jessica took an unneeded breath and sighed, "she's kinda stubborn, ya know."

Pam sighed too, knowing her progeny was completely dedicated to following through once her mind was made up and she would only humor Eric for so long. Jessica couldn't help herself and added with a giggle, "she said something about feeling you and needing to be with you." The last bit she sung more than spoke.

"Just text me when she's on her way." With that she hung up the phone and moved at vamp speed through the rest of her preparations.

She lit the last candle and stepped back to take it all in. The room was beautiful, albeit a bit dramatic. But the leggy vampire didn't care, tonight was special. Tara had given her more that flowers and candlelight. She had given her respect, love and a future in that order. And tonight, Pam would give herself completely. They had both waited and though Pam didn't see a need in the beginning, as the days past, she was grateful that the young vampire had been so steadfast and determined. She imagined that this is what it would have felt like had she had the chance to live a normal life. Another gift Tara had given her. Yes, flowers and candles were the least she could do for the woman she would love for eternity.

Just then, her phone beeped. She knew it was Jessica. She picked up the phone and read the message.

We're leaving now. She wanted to run, but we convinced her to let us drive her, lol. –J

Pam closed the phone. She had about 10 minutes. She was dressed in 3 and spent the rest of the time examining her choice in the mirror. She was nervous, scared and excited all at once. She almost didn't recognize the woman starring back at her. Over a century ago, she had been packed away behind a cold exterior and banished to the furthest recesses of her mind. It took a child, her child, to reach in and bring her back. Pam didn't know how to thank Tara, but at that moment she silently promised to spend the rest of their life together trying. When a tear threatened to ruin the I'm not 'wearing any makeup' makeup she had spent an hour trying to apply, she shook sentimental thoughts along with blonde curls and focused on what she would do to her progeny when she arrived.

She was, however, careful to muffle the bond. It would be a shame to go to all this trouble and planning only to let it slip what the night had in store.

XXX

They pulled up to the house. Tara fought not to jump out and run into her maker's arms. Instead, she got out of the back seat. As she closed the door she walked to the passenger side "Do, uh, you guys want to come inside and say 'hi'?" Tara offered, but didn't mean a word of it. She loved her new family, but she wanted Pam to herself for the remaining hours until dawn.

Eric spoke up, "No thank you, Pam would kill us." And with that he sped off.

Tara wasn't sure what Eric meant, but she was going to be alone with Pam, so she didn't bother to try and figure it out.

She reached in her pocket and pulled out her key before walking up the driveway. She placed the key in the door and noticed the faint sound of jazz playing inside. Pam must be bathing, she always played jazz when she was bathing. Tara shook her head. She was constantly surprised by the 'real Pamela' as she called her. She knew it would take centuries to learn everything there was to know about her and she was more than willing to.

As she slowly opened the front door, she was bombarded with a familiar fragrance. Roses and lilies two of their favorites. It took her a minute to take in her surroundings. The house was dark, except for the flicker from candles that lined the stairs. At her feet a pool of pink and white petals that followed the candles. Still not completely sure what was going on, Tara decided to follow the trail that was left for her.

"Babe?"

"I- I'm in the room" Pam's voice was soft and unsure. Tara paused at the sound of it. She didn't need to tap into the bond to figure out what this was. Her fangs clicked at the thought. Quickly, Tara composed herself and retracted proof of her arousal. She didn't want to rush Pam. Pam. She blurred up the rest of the stairs and into the room they shared.

Tara's mouth dropped at the site. Shadows danced on the walls as flames in each corner of the room flickered. The petals that led her up the stairs continued through the door to the bed…a new bed, complete with a giant purple bow. It looked sturdy enough. She walked over to it and pushed one of the posts. It felt sturdy enough. Bunches of lilies and roses were placed in a seemly random pattern, but Tara smiled because she new Pam, who was so particular about things, had probably spent the better part of the night finding the perfect location for the arrangements. Tara scanned the room again looking for the only thing that was everything, but she didn't see her.

Pam was frozen in place. She was confident until she heard Tara enter the room, then nothing. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak. This was supposed to be the easy part. The talking and feeling, loving someone other than yourself, letting your guard down, there was a long list of things she had done in the past few months that she thought would be more difficult than this. This she had done. Hell, she had done this for a living. 'Making love is not like having sex' Tara's words and the argument for waiting invaded her. The blonde vampire had gone along, but it wasn't until this moment that she actually believed them.

"Pamela?"

She hoped she never got used to hearing her full name fall from her soon to be lover's lips and that it would continue to tickle her ear in the most delicious way every time. That was all she needed. Slowly, she walked around the corner. She didn't look up or meet Tara's gaze for a few seconds. She was still trying to gather herself and she knew from experience that when their sapphire and chocolate pools locked she would instantly be lost.

Tara drank in the sight before her. Pam wore a sheer white nightgown that stopped just above her ankles. It hugged and fell from her slender frame simultaneously. It revealed a fair amount of cleavage and for that she was grateful. But it was simple and Tara smiled. Pam must have felt her, because at that moment she looked up. Tara couldn't breathe then she reminded herself that she didn't need to. Pam's makeup was barely there and her blonde mane hung in loose curls about her face. She was in a word beautiful. In eight words she was 'the most beautiful thing Tara had ever seen.'

Pam had almost completely collected herself, "Well, are you going to say something or do I have to-"

Tara blurred up to Pam, effectively silencing her partner. "Is this what I think it is?" there was a touch of disbelief in her voice. Pam felt dizzy as the bond between them surged out of control. She could only nod with Tara so close. Tara closed her eyes and brought their lips together. She needed to make sure this was real and she hadn't quite mustered enough courage to touch yet for fear that all of this would melt away. If it was a dream, she wanted to stay like this as long as possible. Tara leaned back and opened her eyes, "Pamela, you're beautiful." She kissed her cheek, then pulled back and looked into cerulean eyes that seemed to be feeling every emotion all at once. The normally cynical vampire was completely overwhelmed with feelings of love, desire and underneath all of that uncertainty. Tara felt all of this through their bond and reached down with gently wrapped slender fingers around her partner's hands. She brought them to her mouth without breaking her gaze. She placed small kisses in ivory palms before bringing them to her shoulders. Instinctively Pam wrapped her arms around Tara's neck. "Pamela Swynford de Beaufort, would you allow me to make love to you?"

Her head dropped under the weight of the question, sending curls racing toward her face. Tara lifted her lover's face, so she could see in her eyes. She spoke in a voice both firm and tender, "I need you to know I would wait forever." Even by candle light she could make out bits of red gathering in the corners of Pam's eyes, but she continued anyway, "you are the most important thing to me. The only thing that matters. My everything." Unconditional love flooded their bond from Pam's end, but she still couldn't speak. Tara pressed on glad to get the chance to say everything she had to with no interruptions. "I want you to feel safe. This is not something you have to do. I would gladly spend eternity just the way we are, without this as long as I could have you. I have your heart, the rest is extra." Tara meant every word.

A single red tear trailed down an alabaster cheek and with it came the ability to speak. "Tara," Pam's voice was almost a whisper, "please make love to me."

"Of course, my love." She kissed away her tear. A pang of embarrassment ran down the bond towards Tara's end and Pam's head fell again. Tara placed a hand on her maker's face. She simultaneously lifted her head and gentle glided her thumb back and forth under red rimmed eyes. "Hey, it's okay to cry. It's your first time remember?"

Pam smiled it was her first time. Her first time making love. Her first time being in love. Her first time opening up. Her first time being completely vulnerable. There were so many firsts. She wanted to say it all. She wanted to thank Tara for loving her and releasing her. She wanted to tell her how much it meant. She wanted to tell her that if she could only have one memory for the rest of her life, this would be it. She wanted to say all of those things, but what came out was, "I'm glad it's you."