If You Ever Leave Me
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.
~sSs~
"You don't belong here! You and Inuyasha have no common ground – you need to go back to your era and stay there! I am the one meant for him, not you. All you will do is cause him pain!" Kikyou yelled, her face flushed with color and eyes burning with anger. And all Kagome could do was stare at her with horror as those damning words sank in...
Everything was blank as she stared at Kikyou; she couldn't move, she couldn't think, and she definitely couldn't refute her statements. She could see the triumph in the elder priestess' expression, even as she called her shinidamachu to her to lift her away as Inuyasha crashed into the clearing, yelling Kagome's name... only to come to a stop and whisper, "Kikyou," in a wistful, longing voice that only stabbed Kikyou's words even deeper into Kagome's consciousness and heart.
All she could feel was pain as the last several minutes replayed over and over in her mind, and with a determination she hadn't known she had, she forced her legs to move and left the clearing behind – and Inuyasha, as he stared sadly after the disappearing figure of his love.
Shivering, she walked towards her friend's auras, mind still blank and heart torn to shreds, and shook her head at their frantic queries. She couldn't speak about those minutes in the forest with Kikyou – she just couldn't. Instead, she indicated that a camp should be made, and that Inuyasha would be back when he felt like it, then picked up their canteens and made for the small river a little ways through the brush and trees, her face as blank as her mind.
She's right. In the normal run of things, Inuyasha and I... would never have met. It was only an accident that we did. And I have hurt him. How could he ever forgive me for that? Shooting arrows at him like she did? I can't forgive myself for that.
But can I really just... leave with everything unfinished? Oh, I'm so confused! I don't know what to think anymore. And I promised I would stay with him no matter what – can I break that promise? Should I break it?
Shaking her head, so miserable she couldn't even cry, Kagome filled the containers and headed slowly, almost unwillingly back to camp. She really didn't want to answer questions...
"There you are, Kagome," Sango said, relieved, as Kagome came back into sight. "Are you okay? What happened?"
Miroku spoke up as well in support of Sango's questions; he could feel the unrest and severe upset of Kagome's aura, and was very concerned. What had happened after she'd been separated from them in that battle earlier?
Avoiding meeting anyone's eyes, Kagome set the canteens down and dug through her pack; hopefully, if she got everyone's attention on food they'd stop questioning her. Even Shippo was giving her narrow-eyed looks, and she just couldn't...
"Oi, Kagome!" A loud thump behind her alerted her to the hanyou's presence – as if she'd missed it with him yelling at her the way he was. "What the hell was all that about, huh?" he asked abrasively, glaring at her back as she glanced at him over her shoulder.
She drew in a deep breath and prepared herself to lie, big time – she wasn't about to tell him what had really happened.
"Nothing, Inuyasha. While I was fighting those guys, I ran into Kikyou, that's all. I guess she had been resting there, or something," she said under her breath, knowing he would hear her and the others wouldn't. Yeah... or something... "It's not a big deal, okay? Let's just sit down and eat."
Carefully pouring out the now boiling water into the cups of ramen, she continued to avoid anyone's eyes and kept herself busy with little things, knowing they were all watching her suspiciously, but not willing to lift that suspicion. Let them think what they liked... Inuyasha would, anyway. Probably thought she'd said something mean to his oh so precious Kikyou.
Her shoulders slumped a little at that thought... Of course in his head it would always be my fault if she was upset about something. With her in the picture, I'm in a no win situation.
"But are you okay from the fight, Kagome?" Shippo asked, big green eyes wide and pinning her, making her feel guilty. "I can smell some blood on you."
She blushed with upset, wishing Shippo had kept his mouth shut as she caught Inuyasha's immediate glare. "What?! You got hurt and didn't say anything? What the fuck? Where'd you get hurt at?!" he hollered, not paying any attention to the food she was trying to hand to him.
After a moment she sighed and put the cup of noodles down by his side and finished handing the rest out. "It's nothing big, Inuyasha. It can't be, if you didn't even notice it. It's just a scratch. Heh. Aren't you always telling everyone that everything is 'just a scratch'? I'm fine, okay?" she sighed, ignoring her own food as her tired, sore body chose that moment to catch up with her.
Truthfully, while her injury wasn't severe, it was hurting, and did need attention. If she wasn't careful, it could become infected and thereby become dangerous, and she knew it. But she'd been so numb after that meeting with Kikyou, and the things the woman had said, that she'd forgotten she'd been hurt.
There wasn't even any blood on her shirt, because after she'd killed off the last youkai, she'd wrapped it up and changed her shirt – just before Kikyou had come out of nowhere and cornered her.
That in itself had been strange – the undead miko had rarely been so confrontational towards her, mostly ignoring her as though she were of no importance. Except the first time she'd tried to kill her, of course. But this time, she'd certainly had quite a bit to say, and had obviously had no compunction in saying it.
"You're an interruption in the flow of time. You have no place here, and should go home and stay there. Inuyasha doesn't need you!"
Just a few of the lovely things she'd heard today... despite the fact it had probably been no more than five minutes that she'd been alone with the older miko, it had felt like an eternity, and Kagome sincerely hoped she was never alone with the woman again. Towards the end there, Kikyou had worked herself up into a very angry state, and she was pretty sure if Inuyasha hadn't appeared when he had, the other woman would have struck out at her.
That would have been great, she thought sourly, her eyes refusing to look up from the fire. He'd have had a cow if he'd seen us fighting – I could just hear him screaming at me about what I thought I was doing. I don't think it'd even occur to him that she had attacked me.
Her thoughts were becoming a little on the bitter side, and she knew it, but she just couldn't seem to stop it this time. It was like she'd finally had more than she could take and her normally caring personality had gone awol. She wasn't really in the mood to go looking for it, either, she decided.
"Kagome?" came Sango's tentative voice. "Shouldn't you at least eat something? And then I can help you clean and bandage wherever you got hurt," she offered.
With another sigh, Kagome picked up her ramen, the smell of which was actually turning her stomach, and nodded. "Sure, Sango. Thanks," she returned, her voice flat and weary.
She was a little surprised that Inuyasha had been silent so long; peeking at him through her lashes, she flushed to find him staring quite intently at her. When he caught the glint of her blue eyes on him, he spoke up again. "Keh. I want to know what happened between you and Kikyou, Kagome. Start talkin'."
There were gasps from the others as they realized that the undead miko had played a part in whatever was going on; four glaring sets of eyes landed on the hanyou, who scowled back at them all. "All o' you can just butt out!" He looked pointedly back at Kagome. "She's the only one I want talkin'."
"Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to get over it, Inuyasha," she said sulkily, refusing to meet his gaze. "I don't want to talk about it."
For the rest of the night, she ignored Inuyasha's angry eyes, allowing Sango to help her clean her wound and bandage it fully, then setting out her sleeping bag and crawling into it with her back turned pointedly to him.
The others just watched with confused and concerned eyes, knowing that something important had, indeed, happened, and that sooner or later it would come out, and then there was no telling what would happen from there.
And for the next several days, that dark cloud hovered over the group's travels, leaving everyone uncomfortable and walking on eggshells.
It was only a matter of time, though...
Something was going to have to give, and more than likely, it would be Kagome.
~sSs~
Kagome frowned deeply as she stared down the road towards the village that lay on the horizon, her hackles rising – something was wrong. It wasn't a few moments later that Miroku also stiffened, eyeing the horizon as well.
Both came to a halt, their senses telling them that there was great danger ahead, and Inuyasha was instantly alert, eyeing both of them as he and Sango also came to a stop.
"Keh. What's wrong?" he asked softly, eyes pinned to Kagome as she continued to frown at the view, her senses jangling.
"I'm not sure," she said curtly, not looking at him. "But something is very wrong in the area of that village up there. My senses are screaming at me that we're in danger."
Miroku nodded. "I agree. Mine are saying the same. We must use great care – I feel that Naraku must have a hand in this."
Sango looked surprised. "Kagome? Do you feel the jewel at all?" she asked.
She shook her head, a confused expression crossing her face. "No... not the jewel, but a couple of shards. But Miroku's right – it kinda does feel like Naraku... except he doesn't go anywhere without his piece of the jewel. So that makes no sense."
"Could it be Kagura or Kanna... or another incarnation?" Inuyasha asked sharply.
"No," she said slowly, frowning deeper. "I know how their auras feel. This is different." And then her eyes widened. "Oh, boy. At least two of those shards-" she was cut off by a growl of disgust from Inuyasha, whose temper immediately started rising.
"Feh! It's that damn mangy wolf!" he snarled, clearly not in the mood for dealing with the grabby wolf prince, and just as Kouga began to make his way in, Inuyasha drew Tessaiga and planted himself in front of Kagome. Before the wolf could just step on him, he raised his sword, and Kouga was forced to leap over her to avoid being skewered.
Kagome was so busy trying to figure out what her senses were screaming at her that she didn't even bother yelling at Inuyasha for his little maneuver.
"Damn it, dog piss, point that shit somewhere else!" Kouga shouted with disgust. "We've got bigger problems than your refusal to admit that Kagome's my woman!"
Gritting his teeth, the hanyou snarled at the wolf. "Well, then, what's the problem, wolf piss?" he growled back. "Besides the fact that Kagome ain't yours?!"
"Naraku, you idiot! Can't you smell the bastard?" Kouga yelled angrily.
"Naw, all I can smell is wolf stink," Inuyasha ground out, glaring at the ookami. "Did'ja run into him or somethin'?"
Kouga scowled at that, looking confused. "No... and that's weird. His stench says he's around somewhere, but I can't find him. It's like his scent is... everywhere. I can't track it." He looked over at Kagome, who was still ignoring him and Inuyasha and conferring in low tones with Miroku, while Sango and Shippo listened in. "Oi, Kagome," he called, "can you sense that bastard at all?"
Troubled, Kagome looked up at him and sighed. "No. And discounting your two shards, I feel another one nearby. But the jewel, the big chunk Naraku has is nowhere around. The only thing we can come up with," she gestured at Miroku, "is that he set some kind of trap and left his scent heavy in the area so we would be drawn here, and then left. Something to do with that village ahead," she finished.
Everyone there stared at her as she suddenly stiffened so hard it looked like she'd break something if she got any stiffer, and then growls and curse words broke out from several throats as Kikyou's cold tones broke over the group.
"It seems my copy isn't quite as useless as I had thought – she's right. If you go anywhere near that village, you won't survive to reach the other side of it. It isn't even a real village, merely a trap." She landed amongst them, her shinidamachu setting her down gently as she looked at Inuyasha, speaking only to him and ignoring everyone else.
"Well, that explains the other tainted shard," Kagome said in sour tones that surprised everyone there, including Kikyou. "She's got it. Anyway, despite the fact that place up there is a trap, we can't let it just sit there for anyone to stumble into. We have to figure out how to get rid of it. So... anyone got any ideas?" she asked, clearly speaking to everyone but Kikyou – and Inuyasha.
Kouga sent a scathing glance at the hanyou and the undead miko, then sauntered over to stand next to Kagome. "Well, the first question is, what kinda trap is it? I mean, what's supposed to happen if we were to walk in there?"
Miroku spoke up then. "It almost feels as if all the power from up ahead is coming from the entirety of the illusory village. Perhaps if we were to figure out how to dispel the illusion, would we be able to simply dissipate the danger?"
"Keh. Hell with all this yammerin'. It's one of that bastard's tricks. I'll just hit it with the windscar, and let the damn thing blow up on itself. End of problem."
A dry, sarcastic chuckle came at that, and everyone's attention was drawn to Kikyou. She smirked at all of them, then specifically at Kagome, and said, "It seems as if all of you are rather redundant. Inuyasha doesn't seem to need any of you at all. Were he and I to travel together, the rest of you could simply go home," she flicked her fingers dismissively, then, before anyone could even answer her provocative and insulting words, she once more signaled her shinidamachu and lifted into the air. "I think I will watch him take care of this problem by himself... and maybe-" she glanced pointedly at Kagome again, "-this will sink some things into a certain person's head that what I said the other day was all true." She glanced at a stunned Inuyasha then. "And perhaps this will make Inuyasha realize where he really belongs, as well."
She disappeared into the distance rapidly, and before Inuyasha could scrape his jaw off the ground, Kagome was turned around and walking away, back down the road towards Kaede's village.
"Obviously, Inuyasha doesn't need our help, so I'm going to go on and get a head start back to the village." She glanced back over her shoulder, face tight, and beckoned Shippo. "Come on, Shippo, love. I'd rather you stay out of danger by coming with me. And besides, I don't want to stick around and make Inuyasha have to tell me to get lost, since it's so obvious that Kikyou now wants him to travel with her, it won't take him long to be running after her like a little lost puppy."
Inuyasha stared at her, blinking several times in shock as he tried to take in what had just been said by Kikyou, and then by Kagome. What the fuck? He tried looking at the others, thoroughly confused, only to find highly pissed looks being directed his way.
Kouga snarled at him and then turned away, following behind Kagome. "Don't say a damn word to me, bastard. Someone's gotta make sure Kagome's safe, and it obviously ain't gonna be you, since your owner just yanked your chain."
Before Inuyasha could say anything to that, Sango snapped Hiraikotsu around and followed the other two, Miroku right behind her. Sending him a disgusted look, she said, "How you can stand the sheer arrogance of that bitch I'll never know, but if she ever talks down to me or Kagome that way again, I'll pound her so hard she'll turn back into dust. And it's undeserved, anyway – she's not all that great."
Within moments, Inuyasha was standing behind and watching as his friends and Kagome stormed off, and he couldn't remember the last time he felt so alone. Snapping to, he hurried down the road toward the illusory village, determined to get it taken care of so that he could catch up with his tachi – he no longer felt comfortable being alone. He'd changed too much to be happy on his own, without his friends... without Kagome.
But first... he needed to have a few words with Kikyou. He had never seen her speak like that to anyone before – well, except him, in the very beginning when he'd first met her, though she'd always been a little on the arrogant side – ergo her statement before that she would be the one to destroy Naraku. It was her own hubris that had created the hanyou in the first place, Inuyasha realized suddenly – she'd thought herself above any danger that the bandit Onigumo could have been to her, ignoring her sister's advice about him, thus allowing him to become the very being that had so destroyed their lives in that long ago past.
And even that mistake hadn't gotten through to her that she wasn't all that – she got brought back to life, and when she found out who Naraku was, she immediately stole all the shards and gave them to the bastard, still convinced that she was powerful enough to overcome him even with the power of the Shikon no Tama behind him.
It was her inflated sense of her own worth that had allowed him to create Kagura, and Kanna, Goshinki, Hakudoushi... and become that much more dangerous and difficult to track and defeat. Because of her arrogance, Naraku had killed many more and destroyed hundreds of lives... and she had the nerve to say those things to his friends...
To Kagome?
Kagome had made her fair share of mistakes, too – but then again, she had never made things worse through her own arrogance, either. Sure, she'd shattered the jewel – but in the end, she might have actually saved lives there, because the truth was, back when she'd first come here and the jewel had been torn from her side, neither he nor she had been capable of really protecting it. It was very possible that had the jewel not been shattered, Naraku could have caught them out with it and defeated them both easily, taking a complete jewel and using it immediately with no one around to stop him.
At least this way, they had grown much stronger while hunting the shards, and though Naraku had, too, they had a chance to stop him. Before, they wouldn't have.
So all that was to say that perhaps Kagome's mistake hadn't really been a mistake in the overall scheme of things. All that had just occurred to him, but it was a valid premise, and something he would tell her the next time she was feeling guilty about shattering it.
Maybe this had simply been kami's way of giving them an actual chance of fixing things.
But in order to do it, all of them would be needed, and Kikyou really needed to figure out that she wasn't the all-powerful all-knowing woman she seemed to think she was, because he was really getting tired of listening to the comparisons she kept hitting him with lately – comparing herself to Kagome and making Kagome always look like a bumbling, totally useless fool. She wasn't. Sure, she was a little clumsy, but it was actually kinda cute – at least, he thought so, though he teased her about it all the time.
And as for power... because of the nature of her power versus his, he could tell with exquisite detail just who was the most powerful between she and Kagome – and it wasn't her. Sure, she was trained and Kagome wasn't, but that wasn't Kagome's fault, either – in her world, they knew nothing of youkai and miko, and her power wasn't needed there.
Which told Inuyasha, as he thought of it, something that he hadn't realized until this very moment – besides his own want of her by his side, she was supposed to be right where she was – because the kami would not have bothered giving someone reiki in her world. It wasn't needed, was simply a waste in that time and place. And the kami weren't about to waste power. The only reason Kagome would have needed reiki, and especially so much of it, was because she was needed somewhere where reiki would be useful... like right where she was.
Keh. And I need to tell her that, too. She shouldn't ever question her presence here, because she's right where she belongs – her promise to me aside.
In the end, it didn't take long to destroy the illusory village, a couple of windscars wiping the trap out just fine, and quickly sheathing his sword, Inuyasha waited, a bit impatiently, for Kikyou to show back up – after what she'd said earlier, he was absolutely certain she would.
He wasn't disappointed.
Walking sedately out of the trees ahead of him, shinidamachu circling her eerily, she held his gaze as she neared, not taking her eyes off him as she came to a stop in front of him.
It was silent for a moment, then she said, "I see that you have already sent your followers away. Have you finally realized that you don't need them, only me? And especially not that less than perfect copy of me?"
She was taken aback as he scowled at her. "And who are you a copy of, then, Kikyou?" he asked, his tone not very encouraging.
A frown forked her brow. "What do you mean?" she snapped. "I am no copy of anyone!"
"Oh, really?" he asked. "So you're telling me that you're the original form of that soul? I don't believe that. So if Kagome, by your logic, is a copy of you, then you are simply a copy of your previous life, as well."
That did not set well with the undead priestess; scowling deeply, she made sure he realized that his words had upset her.
"I'm no copy of anyone – I'm the ultimate form of this soul!" she snarled, her face suddenly looking a lot less attractive than it usually did and giving Inuyasha a deeply disturbing look into the mind of this Kikyou.
"I don't think so," he growled back, upset as the blinders he'd worn for so long in regards to her were finally completely pulled away. "If that were the case, then Kagome would never have been born, since you would have ascended to paradise upon your death. As far as I'm concerned," he said, his face suddenly saddening as he looked at her, "Kagome's the ultimate form of that soul, not you. She may not have had the training that you have, but that's because in her time there are no youkai and no miko with power since they aren't needed, and she didn't even know she had any kind of power at all until she came here. But I can tell you this – she's stronger than you are. You need to drop the arrogance, Kikyou – it doesn't suit you – or at least, who you used to be. You're not all that you seem to think you are."
Drawing herself up, Kikyou glared at him inimically for several long moments, then turned on her heel and left, not saying another word to him. Inuyasha just watched her go sadly, then sighed, and turned in the opposite direction, taking off at a run after his friends. They wouldn't have gotten too far, after all, it had only been about a half hour since they'd left.
His heart, saddened by how far Kikyou had fallen, lightened again with every step closer to his friends – and Kagome.
And then he scowled at himself.
Damnit, I wanted to find out what she said to Kagome the other day that's had her acting so weird! Grrr... I guess I'll just have to keep pestering the wench until she gives in and tells me.
~sSs~
"Come on, Kagome, I want to know what she said to you! Was it some of the same crap she was spouting a little while ago?" the now totally impatient hanyou prodded, ignoring the looks from the rest of the group – until they heard what he had actually said.
Crap?
And then they all faltered, staring at him – including Kagome.
"Uhmm... what did you just say?" she asked, looking completely confused. Inuyasha did not make comments like that about Kikyou. Ever.
"You aren't Inuyasha," Sango declared, eyes narrowing dangerously as she swung Hiraikotsu around. "The real Inuyasha would never say anything like that about his precious Kikyou."
Inuyasha, stunned, blinked golden eyes at the suspicious looks as Miroku said, "I agree," and pulled a stack of sutra from inside his robes.
Beginning to get angry, the hanyou was about to snarl at his suspicious friends, when a blank-faced Kouga spoke up. "Naw, this is the dog turd, all right. Same stink as always."
The group relaxed at hearing Kouga's assurance, though Inuyasha just scowled at him, then poked Kagome in the arm again. "Now, wench. What the fuck did she say to you? I know there's a lot more to that mess the other day that you didn't say – resting, my ass. Kikyou may have been resting her body, but she wasn't resting her mouth. Now start talking."
Finally unable to take his pushing, Kagome turned on him and began shouting at the surprised and wide-eyed hanyou as everyone else watched on, Kouga just as wide-eyed and actually cowering behind Miroku, never having seen Kagome quite so angry.
It took a little while, but eventually she got it all out, and Inuyasha's expression got colder and colder the longer she talked. By the time she was done, he was ready to go chase Kikyou back down and chew her out – in a much louder fashion than last time.
Instead, he decided to chew Kagome out.
"And you listened to her, wench?" he shouted. "What the fuck?!"
"Well, it was rather difficult not to, since she was in my face," Kagome screamed right back. "If you hadn't showed up when you had, I'm almost positive she was going to attack me – she was gearing up for it when you popped in!"
By this time the whole group had taken several steps back – this was familiar territory, the two fought quite often in just this manner. But perhaps this time some things might actually get said that would do some good.
"Well, then you shoulda just knocked her ass out, stupid!"
"Oh, yeah. So you could accuse me of attacking her after she played it up as just that?! And she would have, too! You're just too blind and stupid when it comes to her to realize what she's really like!" she yelled, angry beyond anything she could stand anymore and actually pulling her own hair in frustrated rage.
Inuyasha immediately grabbed her hands and gently unclenched them from the soft strands, and then once they were clear, pulled them away and held them. "What the fuck do you think your doing?! Stop this shit, Kagome, and listen to me. This whole mess has gone on long enough, and I'm sick of it."
Kagome, surprised by his motion, and the fact that he was using one hand to hold her hands away from her hair, while his thumb stroked over the soft flesh, and the other hand to smooth her hair down and gentle her now sore scalp, fell completely silent, not sure what to make of this side of the hanyou she was so in love with that she couldn't see straight anymore.
"That's better," he said softly, letting go of one hand and guiding her to a patch of soft grass some distance from the rest of the group. He didn't demur, however, when they all followed, all of them wide-eyed and open-mouthed at his highly unusual actions – especially in front of witnesses. Even Shippo, who usually loved to needle the hanyou, was silent, hoping for a breakthrough between the two who loved each other so much that everyone could see it but them. The only one with a scowl on his face at this development was Kouga, who was pretty certain that the hanyou was about to score major points with the little female they both wanted.
Yes, both. While Kouga would never tell Kagome this, because it would negate his chances of snagging her for himself, Inuyasha really, really wanted the little miko from the future. He smelled of it constantly. Every time he, Kouga came around, that same damn smell of desire and dare he say, love, was hovering thickly around her. He never scented of that desire or love around the dirt miko, either – only around Kagome. But Kouga hoped that if Kagome never knew that, and if she finally got sick of the situation with Kikyou enough, she'd drop the hanyou and go off with him. This situation looked like it just might signal the death blow to his chances with the girl, though, and that pissed him off.
"First and foremost, Kagome, I won't ever allow you to leave me. You promised to stay with me, and I won't let you off the hook. If you try to go, then I'll follow. And if you seal the well, I'll wait the five hundred years, and then corner you at your shrine." He glared at her. "But if I have to wait that long to catch back up with you, you'd better believe I'm going to be pissed as hell. So don't even think to try it, or you'll find out what me being really pissed actually looks like."
He cleared his rather dry throat, and then continued into the very deep silence.
"Second. I doubt the kami would have bothered to give you any reiki, unless it was going to be needed – and it is... right here. It sure as hell ain't needed in your world, is it? So no matter what Kikyou told you about you not belonging here, she's dead ass wrong."
Kagome blinked and started to open her mouth, and Inuyasha gently slapped a hand over it. "I'm not done. Third. Kikyou has always been somewhat full of herself, looking back at things, though she's much worse since she's been brought back." He looked down for a moment, a sad, guilty look on his face. "That crazy arrogance of hers has cost a lot of people their lives, since it was her that gave Naraku more power by giving him the extra jewel shards. I... wish I'd never... never said her name when that damn Urasue recreated her. It's my mistake that actually allowed her to do all this... I pretty much told her off about what she's done, but I shoulda said all this to her a long time ago," he sighed.
"Y-you actually s-said something like that to her?!" Kagome squeaked in incredulity after pulling his hand away from her mouth – the same incredulity that was on everyone's faces.
"Yeah." He blushed. "I also told her that you were not her copy, and that if she wanted to think of you that way, then I wanted to know who she was a copy of. Then she tried to claim she was the ultimate form of your soul. I told her," he coughed, looking a little embarrassed and for the first time actually unable to meet Kagome's eyes, "that as far as I was concerned, you were the ultimate form of that soul."
A faint gasp came from Kagome's astounded lips, and after gathering himself, Inuyasha continued. "I also was thinking about you shattering the jewel, you know, and I realized something – that might have been the best thing to happen." He met everyone's stunned and uncertain expressions gamely. "No, hear me out," he said as Miroku made to interrupt. "Back when Kagome first came here, Naraku could more than likely easily have defeated both of us – much as I hate admitting that," he said sourly, "and gotten his hands on the complete jewel immediately. Neither of us was strong enough to fight him back then, and we didn't have the rest of you guys to help, either. Maybe the kami were watching our backs by allowing you to shatter it, Kagome – because it's gained us allies that we are going to need, and a chance to grow strong enough to battle the bastard. At least this way, we actually have that chance. Back then, it would have been over before it even began."
Everyone was silent as they thought about it, and they had to admit that he was more than probably correct – though all of them were surprised to hear him saying such things aloud. Even Kagome, who had always felt so bad about shattering the jewel, felt a little better, because she knew he was right. Back then, he didn't have Tessaiga, she couldn't shoot an arrow straight to save her life – which the shattering of the Shikon proved in glaring technicolor, she admitted to herself wryly, and they spent more time fighting each other than anyone else. But...
"So... you... you really, you know, said those things to... Kikyou?" she asked almost timidly, as if she expected for him to bust out laughing and yell, "Fooled Ya!"
"Keh. It was about time, too. She's been driving me nuts lately with all of her comparisons every time I'd go see her. I finally told her that she wasn't all that, and that she needed to quite calling you a copy and stuff." He sighed and looked away again, his shoulders slumping a little with sadness. "Like I said, the real Kikyou was a bit on the arrogant side, I can admit that now. After all, the villagers had been filling her head with nonsense for years – saying how she was like Midoriko, so powerful and wise. I guess she just got to believing it. But this Kikyou... this Kikyou is much worse. It's like she feels she's a kami or something. And she ain't. I told her point blank that you have more power than she does. What I can't understand is why she went so crazy all of a sudden in trying to chase you off. She's mostly just ignored you before... why act like this now?" he mused, almost to himself. He was really confused by her recent actions.
So was Kagome.
Someone else knew exactly why, though.
"Because the bitch is losing power, and she probably wanted you around to protect her. But she didn't want Kagome around to see her loss of power – it would have humiliated her after all her big talk of being more powerful than Kagome. So she was tryin' to chase everyone else off," came Kouga's sullen voice. He knew that Inuyasha had just cost him the girl. It was over, and he'd never win her, so he may as well add his two bits worth, and then disappear.
Inuyasha eyed the wolf narrowly for a moment, but then closed his eyes and thought about it. Was that the case? He thought back to her power levels when she had first been brought back, and what they were now, and realized Kouga was right. It had been so subtle that he had never noticed the decreasing levels, but to Kouga, who'd only been around her a few times, it was a definitely noticeable loss.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," he admitted grudgingly, eyes flickering over his silent and stunned friends to land on the most important person in his world. "Kagome... no matter what debt I owe Kikyou to kill Naraku, you're the one I need by my side. I don't go with her, do I? I go talk to her, and then I come back to stay with you. I vowed to protect her from Naraku. And that's it. I didn't really specify with you, though. I just said I would protect you." He growled a little at the glaring Kouga, and said sourly, "And that means from mangy, smelly, chewed up, crappy looking wolves, too."
Kagome was about to say something when the hanyou caught everyone's far too interested gazes, and abruptly deciding that they'd heard enough, especially Miroku, who was now smirking in his trademark perverted way, he reddened, then grabbed Kagome and pulled her into his arms and took off with her, making tracks to the far side of the large meadow they were in so that the others could no longer hear what they were saying. Then he set her down, plopped down right in front of her, and nodded, letting her know she could say what she wanted.
"You promised Kikyou to go to hell with her," she said softly, sadly, not meeting his eyes. "You can't protect me when you're in hell, Inuyasha. So even if I stay with you, you'll just eventually leave me."
He shook his head. "No... actually, I didn't, I told Kaede that if it was our fate, I would go to hell with her," he corrected sheepishly, not meeting her surprised gaze as she pinned him with it. "I never promised Kikyou, and it ain't my fate to sit in hell twiddling my thumbs instead of bein' up here protecting you." He exhaled deeply suddenly, as if tired. "Look. The bottom line here is, I won't ever leave you, Kagome. And if you ever left me, I wouldn't be able to stand it. So don't. Stay with me like you promised. Is that too much to ask? You know, for you to honor your word? Because I certainly can't protect you if you leave me."
"So... you want me to stay with you until we defeat Naraku and regain all the shards. Then what?"
"Did I put a time limit on it?" he asked, a little annoyed at that question. "No. You told me once that we must always be together. So now I'm telling you – yes, we must always be together. Do you remember the question you asked me when Kaguya was trying to seal my human side in her mirror?"
Kagome blinked, startled by that question, coming out of the blue as it was. "Uhm... question? I didn't ask you any question," she said, mystified. The only question she had asked, though aimed at him, had been said inside her mind, not out loud, so he couldn't mean that... could he?
He answered instantly. "Yes, you did. But you didn't say it out loud. I... I think that the spell Kaguya was using, and the counter-magic you were instinctively using to try to calm me, let me hear your thoughts. But whatever it was, I heard it. You asked 'You want to stay with me, don't you?' I heard it," he insisted in answer to her astonished look. "And the answer is yes... I want to stay with you, Kagome," he whispered, blushing, but bravely meeting her wide-eyed gaze. "I want to stay with you so much that no spell anyone could throw at me would be strong enough to overpower that, just like Kaguya's wasn't. So... do you want to stay with me, Kagome?" he asked her in reverse of her silent yet apparently loud and clear question so long ago.
Her face crumpled and she nodded as hot tears poured down her cheeks, just like they had when she'd been thinking that question all that time ago. "Y-yes," she whispered. "Of course I do! I've always wanted to stay with you, Inuyasha! Don't you remember, I even asked to stay with you after you c-chose Kikyou?" she stammered, that memory still hurting so, so much.
He reached out carefully and pulled her into his arms. "Of course I do. But I didn't choose Kikyou because I..." he trailed off, reddening, "uh... you know, wanted to be with her just because," he forced, unable to say the 'L' word. "I just chose her because I felt I had to, out of honor, because I owed it to her. When I found you at the well, I had been going to go to your side of it and tell you... that I couldn't stay with you, because it wasn't fair to you. But... I didn't want to do it, and I kept getting slower and slower as I walked. When I saw you, I wanted to kill the kami for making my life such a hell as to have to give up the only good thing in it. And then you asked to stay with me, and I was thanking the kami, instead."
Kagome sniffed, wiping her tear-stained cheeks, and nodded. She sighed wearily as Inuyasha pushed an errant lock of hair back over her shoulder and tucked it behind her ear. After a moment, when he tugged her lightly to lean against his chest, she gave in and slumped tiredly into him, snuggling as close as she could and smiling a tiny smile at the sound of his strong and steady heartbeat.
Running his claws through her hair soothingly, he chuckled lightly at a particular memory. "Hey," he said, gently tugging a lock of ebony, "you remember that pig Chokyukai?"
He laughed a little louder at Kagome's shudder. "Yeah, why?" she asked drowsily, her tears and the emotional upset of the last few days making her tired.
"I was so mad when he took off with you. I couldn't get there fast enough, and all I could see was you making eyes at him. I thought for a minute I was going to go full-demon."
She blinked up at him in astonishment. "What? Why?"
"Duh, why do ya think? You know I don't like it when other guys get too close to you, let alone take off with you and try to marry you! No way I'm letting someone else have you, wench. You're mine. I protect you, I stay with you, and I'm keeping you, like I just told you before. No one else can have you." He glared back down towards their friends, eyes on the ever-annoying wolf. "Keh. And especially that piece of crap Kouga. He couldn't even protect you right."
Laying her head back down on his chest, she sighed yet again. This emotional stuff is just too much now. I'm tired and can't stand anymore shocks today. "Hey, Inuyasha?"
"Yeah?" the hanyou hummed contentedly, laying his chin on her crown and breathing in her calming scent.
"Can we take a nap, just like this? All this up and down stuff has made me tired."
"What about the others?"
"Feh," she said with a small smile, "who cares? Let them entertain themselves for a while."
"And Kouga?" She could hear a return smile in his voice.
"Who cares about the mangy wolf?" she replied, her voice drowsy and yet still mischievous. "He can find his own way home."
Inuyasha chuckled, the sound a little rusty since he really didn't laugh much, half-asleep himself and feeling peaceful and calm for once, his angry demon blood content and quiet as it had almost never been – in fact, it was only this way when it was wrapped in Kagome's calming - and calm - scent.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. And the others will probably sack out, too, since it's been a long, hot last few days." With that, he adjusted her just a little, and then wrapped himself firmly around her until she was almost hidden in swathes of crimson fire rat, and then followed the contented miko into a nice, healing sleep.
It was the best sleep either of them had ever had.
~sSs~
A/N: I just found this completed story in my folders – and I only vaguely even remember writing it. I think I wrote it back about two years ago – it was one of my earlier stories, though I have no idea why I never posted it. I was in a bad Kikyou mood at the time, annoyed at her arrogance, always claiming that she was the one that was going to kill Naraku, and then stealing the jewel shards and giving them to him, which only made him stronger. It made me think on the consequences for what she did – he killed a LOT more people after making those incarnations than he could have before, so she was DIRECTLY responsible for all those deaths. And it was all because of her own hubris. I think that's why, though sometimes I feel bad for what happened to her in the past, I really just don't feel all that sympathetic – her arrogance just turns me against her in the end. Her only saving grace was that she did, finally, come down off her high horse and realize that she wasn't all that right before she died again. Funny enough that it was AFTER Kagome healed her that time. Most Kikyou-shippers don't take note of that... or want to admit it.
Anyway, for what it's worth, here's an old story that's never been posted before – a view of what I would have liked to see in the manga – an Inuyasha that wasn't such a blinded fool over his oh so perfect Kikyou.